TMI Tuesday: 18 Months

A year and a half (and a day) later and we are still trying to get used to this new life. With all the changes that keep happening and all of the things swirling around in our life right now it is hard to keep track of time. Yesterday, I looked at the calendar and saw that eighteen months has already passed and it is hard to believe how different things are now compared to the life we were living before we became a family.

The day is still etched in my mind, sitting on the surface of memory like it just happened a few days ago. I can still feel my son’s rapid heartbeat as I held him for the first time in the operating room and his tiny pink hand as he gripped my finger for the first time. I can hear the beeping of the monitors faintly filling the background. I can see the words streaming through my phone bringing to the fore both the happy and despicable aspects of humanity. I can see the tears as they silently streamed down my wife’s face both in the joy of the morning and the pain of the evening. However, most importantly, I can see that moment, that first instant, when mother and son embraced one another and began this journey together.

I remember the anxiety and excitement as I pulled the car around to the front entrance, loaded the items that had been accumulating for the past several days into the trunk, and buckled my family into the car. It was a slow ride back to our townhouse and one during which I couldn’t help but think about all the people who would be at the house to greet him and the one that wouldn’t be there. It was a ride that moved us forward as a family but also one during which I wished I could hit eighty eight and drive to the past.

Time has moved so quickly since our son came into our life at 9:14 am and when I look at him it is hard to believe that he was once so small. He has already learned so much and he keeps surprising us every day with how much he knows and understands. Most importantly, even with some of the chaos that has swirled around us, we have protected our son and he remains as happy as ever. While I still enjoy the quiet moments, there is nothing better than coming home to the excited sounds from my son saying “Daddy!”

Sunday Search: Getting Involved

I have always been a firm proponent of getting involved. I don’t simply join something to be a member. At the same time, I also believe that if you want to learn you have to be active and pursue that knowledge to the best of your ability. This is the mentality that I had when I joined Rotary, when I submitted my petition to my Masonic lodge, and when I first submitted my application to join the Sons of the American Revolution. This past week I continued to live up to those personal expectations when I left the office a little early so that I could make it to my chapter’s executive committee meeting.

I simply don’t understand how many people can join an organization and not have any understanding of how it works. This was the best opportunity for me to get involved right away and try to educate myself regarding the process that are in place, how the chapter works, and what the plans are for the future. By the end of the evening, the meeting had well exceeded my expectations and I now feel confident that I will have a fairly broad base of knowledge regarding the organization in the very near future… more than what I learned from the fire hose on Monday night.  

Additionally, my fellow compatriots were eager to educate me and help me to get involved right away. With so many positions open in the coming year, and now with a better understanding of the requirements for each, I volunteered to step in where needed (and so long as they are comfortable with me in that particular office). After all, we all have an understanding of the importance of our heritage and family history and by putting ourselves out there and being a part of something greater than ourselves, we add our own intricacies to that history.

Of course, given the nature of this organization in particular, it is even more important for me to be involved. We served to honor the memories of our ancestors and we must continue to be involved in uncovering as much as we can about their lives and do our best to discover other patriots in our family tree so that we can honor them in the same way. I guess you could say that I am already involved and this is only the most recent means by which I can continue to unravel some of the mysteries in our genealogical story.

Different But Similar

There have been several occasions when I have heard people compare the first meeting with a candidate with that of a sales meeting. I wholeheartedly disagree with this premise. Meeting with those men interested in becoming masons should never involve any kind of sale whatsoever and should never come across as such. Meeting with a candidate for the first time should be a time to answer questions and start and interesting conversation. At no point during such conversations have I had the goal of getting a petition signed… my objective has always been to have a great conversation.

By approaching the process in this way it allows all the cards to be put on the table. The potential candidate gets to know me and I get to know them. We find our similarities and, sometimes, we discuss our differences. While I do my best to answer any questions they may have about freemasonry and give a very broad overview of the lodge, the fraternity, and the process of becoming a mason, it is a very open and broad conversation as a whole. Right or wrong, this is how I approach these opportunities to meet interesting people from the community.

This was the case last night as I had previously coordinated a time to meet with a prospective candidate last week. After a brief introduction and welcome, we made our way into the hall and sat at one of the dining tables to simply have a conversation and to get to know one another. Over the course of the evening there were a number of other brothers who introduced themselves and joined the conversation and by the end of the night we had discussed a wide range of topics. However, the most important part of the evening was that we were able to learn a little about him and he was able to learn a little about us as individuals, the lodge, and freemasonry in general.

As we talked about our families and the reasons why freemasonry piqued our interest there were a number of commonalities in our perspectives and in our lives that wouldn’t necessarily be evident to someone who would simply see the two of us talking. The reasons for our interest in the fraternity are nearly identical and we are both interested to learn about our grandfather’s lives within freemasonry. However, he did surprise me by the end of the night by immediately completing a petition on the spot. This surprised me both because I didn’t expect him to do so (I never go beyond handing someone a petition and asking them to think about it) and because it is the same way that I would have reacted had I been given the same situation.

Again, I walked toward the parking lot reinvigorated by the night and excited to have another good man interested in joining our lodge and becoming part of this fantastic fraternity. I consider myself very lucky for having witnessed that same passion and excitement so many times in so many good men over the years (especially over the last several months). There is a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to during the second half of the year.

TMI Tuesday: Milk Please!

In addition to chugging, he can also put the ball in the cup too... 

There are moments when my son tilts his head back and his sippy cup almost vertical when I want to poke a hole in the bottom and see how fast he can really guzzle his milk. This has been his routine ever since we got him off of formula a few months back. Basically, in addition to being much friendlier to our bank account, our son seems to enjoy whole milk much more than the rancid smelling concoction that we used to have to mix before every meal.

He has gotten pretty good at drinking too. Among his various techniques, in addition to the milk pounding mentioned above, he has many one handed and no hand ways that he enjoys drinking. He also does the same thing with the sippy cups full of water that we keep on a side table in the family room for whenever he gets thirsty.

However, there are moments when his overzealous chugging can be more problematic as it can put him off balance at times. This usually isn’t a big deal as, for the most part, he is either sitting or holding onto something while standing and drinking but there are times when he puts himself in a precarious position. Those moments include when he lets go of his support (usually leading to his legs buckling), he tries to emphatically drink while I am holding him (I almost have to hug him to keep him from bending backward), and when he is a little too quick throwing his head back (he usually ends up laying on his back when this happens).

Fortunately, these moments are more amusing than anything and we usually hear him giggling when they happen. The only exception being when I am holding him as there have been a few times when I have been startled or he has been startled or both. That usually leads to a look of “what the heck just happened” or “what are you doing daddy? I’m trying to drink here!” Sometimes some pointed baby babble follows. 

But, as time goes on and he continues to grow faster than we anticipated, he keeps getting better at these rudimentary tasks. Thankfully, he is a quick learner and many of the instances mentioned above only happened a handful of times, all with slight variations mind you. Soon these moments will be a thing of the past but I will still wonder how fast he can shotgun his sippy cup (I’m pretty sure a milk bong will work too).

Setting Aside Networking Time

Every day I try to set aside about 15 minutes simply to send out a few emails or make a couple of calls to people that I have met recently or to reconnect with those that I haven’t spoken to in some time. This is both something that I enjoy doing but also part of my job as networking is essential to my line of work. Investing that nominal amount of time each day is well worth the effort and has proven to be hugely beneficial over the years both personally and professionally.

However, there are a few things that I have found to be essential to this outreach over the years. The first being that you cannot be selling when trying to open or reopen communications with someone. I have fallen into this trap a few times in my life when trying my hand at various occupations related to sales. That being said, I have never claimed to be a salesperson and never will claim to have the skill set necessary for success in that line of work. But it is an aspect that I am still well aware of in my current outreach as I prefer to focus on getting to know people rather than trying to get business from them or persuade them to attend an event.

The second essential aspect to effective outreach for me has been to forego social media. While these sites have undoubtedly proven useful in making the basic connections with people and to learn a little bit about them, they should not be used as a means of communication. Personal emails are much more effective in opening up a dialogue but still have limits. Connecting over the phone provides a personal touch and demonstrates that you are taking the time and putting forth the effort to not just talk but to listen and learn about the other person.

The third and final piece of the puzzle is the easiest of them all… listening and learning. Don’t just blankly reach out to people; learn all you can about them before writing that email or picking up the phone. This is where social media should be leveraged. See what they have posted, liked, commented on. Find their birthday, dates of life events, work anniversary, previous places of employment. Essentially, find that commonality that you share with them and use that to start the conversation. Networking is not about business, it is about getting to know people and finding things in common with the people you know is a great way to strengthen your network.  

Finally, familiarize yourself with pictures. There have been countless occasions when I have been at business and social event when I have seen a familiar face. Many connections have started in the virtual world but, by knowing what many of my connections look like, I was able to properly introduce myself in the midst of a large crowd. Most of the time, this is what truly separates you from the countless other connections that someone has made in the virtual world. In the end, never forget the importance of meeting someone face to face… networking can only survive and thrive in the real world.

Sunday Search: Topic Of Conversation

This past week I spent a lot of time at business dinners where the topics of conversation varied pretty significantly from course to course and from meal to meal. However, there were a few subjects that came up regularly during those times around the table. The first two were, of course, the most obvious as business and the actual trade show we were attending were discussed at great length. Beyond that discourse, the primary topic that we talked about at length was genealogy.

Many of the people with whom I spent the first part of the week had at least a basic knowledge of their own family histories or were interested in pursuing that knowledge. Because of the neutral nature of the discourse, we went from moment to moment and from generation to generation of predominantly United States history with each subject and time period allowing us to learn a little more about each other while remaining appropriate for a business gathering. I guess you could say that this is one of the ancillary benefits to the work that I have done regarding my family history.

It was actually quite surprising the commonalities that many of us possessed in both geography and in the participation of our ancestors in particular events. There wasn’t a single statement that wasn’t followed up by either a story or a question. And this was going both ways as there were definitely some aspects of history of which my knowledge is limited or a local history of which I am completely unfamiliar. In the end, we all came away with a much broader sense of the reach and inter-connectivity that our histories have in relation to one another. And that was just the people that knew at least a little about their own ancestry.

For those who were still unfamiliar with their familial past, it was an eye opening experience that ignited a desire to know about their own families. Hopefully the basic outline that they were given is enough to keep that interest going and that they begin to fill in some of their own trees. After all, it would be great to learn a little bit about their families the next time that we are all together around the dinner table. Who knows, maybe we will find some stronger historical ties between our ancestors. And maybe they can use that new found knowledge, as many of us have, as a great topic of conversation during casual business meetings and, more importantly, with their own families.

TMI Tuesday: From Mime To Mimic

Ever since our son gained some control over his body, he would mime many of the things that we did. Sometimes it was as subtle as a facial expression while other times he would mirror our hand and arm movements. Clapping was a favorite for a while. There were even several occasions when I would be on the phone on my way home and he would honk the horn on his car as soon as daddy honked at the people cutting him off on the highway. It has been interesting to see what he would pick up and what other things he wouldn’t bother trying.

Now those simulations are a little more focused as he likes to flip through books just like mommy and daddy do when we read him a story. Other times he waits to take a bite of his food until he sees us doing the same thing at the dinner table. He even likes sitting on the couch, in daddy’s spot, and lounging in the same way. And while he has yet to start walking, there is a tentative look in his face when he watches us walk… a look that lets us know that the next thing he is going to copy is how we walk around the house.

However, over the last month he has gone from mime to mimic. While he has a few words in his growing vocabulary and can understand much more than he can actually pronounce, he has a tendency to sound out words and short phrases that he hears mommy and daddy say throughout the course of the day. Most of the time this is a great sound to hear as we try to teach him different words but there are other times when he picks up a piece of conversation that isn’t focused on his education.

Of course, there are the moments when he tries to sound out a word and it doesn’t quite match up with what was originally said. These are the moments that are both adorable and just flat out funny at times. For example, “Apple” and “A-Hole” are two completely different things but if you point to a picture of a Macintosh it is, according to our son, most definitely an “a-hole”. Needless to say, we are becoming increasingly more careful with what words our son hears us say and the conversations that we have within earshot.

The most important part of this whole thing is that he is learning and he is picking up things faster than we expected… faster than he should be. And when his ability to speak catches up with his cognition and ability to understand what we are saying we are going to be in trouble because he picks up more and understands more than he should at this point. Maybe it is from his obsession of watching Sunday Morning every weekend with daddy (yes, he looks forward to it and gets excited when he hears the introduction music). Whatever it is, I guess we are doing something right.

Sunday Search: Holiday Opportunities

The holidays are always a great opportunity to get together and simply enjoy the company of friends and family. While we may not be completely conscious of it at the time, it is a means to strengthen the bonds that we have with one another and take stock of the changes that have happened in our lives since the last time that we all gathered together. The most important thing about these times is to be in the moment and to spend time with those you love but there are opportunities that come about naturally from time to time that we, as family historians, must remain cognizant of and remember not just for ourselves but for the family as a whole the for the future when things have a tendency to be forgotten.

It is inconsequential how one gets to a subject but there are moments when we must be opportunistic and learn a little more about those around us. Furthermore, if we are able to ask questions we must do so to fill in some of the details that may have been glossed over. At the same time, when possible, we must be ready to recall what we know in order to offer that information in the hopes of jogging someone else’s memory or adding dimension or perspective to the story being told.

For some, including myself, this is sometimes the hardest part of trying to find out everything I can about the family. There is a fine line between conversation and investigation which we must respect during the holidays because, again, this is a time for family not about family. After all, we are all guilty from time to time for focusing more on the past than the present. Sometimes it is during occasions such as this while other times it is about not taking the opportunity, setting aside the time, and talking to family members about their own history and about what they know about others in the family.

Today I learned a few more details and was given a few more documents. Thankfully, I learned a lot with little effort. It was more about being in the right place and keeping my ears open to the conversations taking place. I knew some additional details and I asked a few questions but it was part of the natural flow of the dialog. Maybe I have finally found some kind of balance to this holiday conundrum. Of course, it helps that everyone knows about my passion for the family history and the respect that I have for our history. That can sometimes be the difference between being given, entrusted, with personal information and histories and not ever being told what happened.

A More Complicated Petition

Well, it should be no surprise to anyone who read my post yesterday that I didn’t make it to the lode last night as I was recovering from my second serious car accident in the past ten days. However, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been working on a few things for the lodge. In fact, I have been working on a rather interesting petition as of late that has been an ongoing project since the last stated meeting. While most petitions are pretty straightforward, this one in particular has had a number of details that have made it a great learning process both for the petitioner and also for me.

The situation is rather simple in that the candidate already petitioned another lodge which presented said petition at their last stated meeting. Following dinner last month at my lodge, he expressed a desire to join our lodge which is more convenient for a multitude of reasons. Following that meeting and after confirming his intentions, I circled back with the original lodge in possession of his petition. This is when things really got interesting as having not found myself in this position previously, I made sure to copy both District Deputy Grand Masters. After all, I always want to make sure that decisions such as this are by the book and as transparent as possible.  

Fast forward and I now find myself in a friendly back and forth trying to confirm many of the details of the process and double checking the conclusions with both my District Deputy Grand Master and the petitioner. It has been a process to say the least but it has also been a great learning experience and we will have a solution to the situation in short order now that the broad strokes have been taken care of. However, the most important thing that I have made sure not to lose sight of is the simple fact that a good man has shown a desire to become a mason.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter where he receives his degrees (although I have my preferences), the important things is that the fraternity is gaining a solid member. Too often lodges lose sight of this fact and focus on what is best for their lodge. While the betterment of your home lodge is hugely important, we can all agree on that fact, the growth of our fraternity, of Freemasonry as a whole, needs to take precedence. We have to keep in mind what is best for the brotherhood and for the man who desires to become a brother. If we do right by these two, things have a way of coming back to us both as a lodge and as a mason. We must do what is right.

New Faces And Awards

Something all new masons should strive to achieve! I wonder what the new awards will look like. 

Shortly after arriving at the lodge on Thursday night I was greeted by a few familiar faces as well as some men that I had only met just recently. This is quite the change from the past year as those new faces were those of petitioners and prospective candidates with whom I had primarily spoken with via email. In addition to this mix of men conversing just outside the front door, there were also numerous visitors to our lodge this week. Overall, the makeup of people at the dinner and during the meeting clearly demonstrates the growth of our lodge not just in numbers but in the quality of masons actively participating on a monthly basis.

Leading up to our monthly gathering it has been quite the task juggling the emails and phone calls that have occupied many of my days but it is the great kind of busy that really doesn’t feel like work. While it does take time to reach out and connect, the conversations that I have had over the past month have been very interesting and felt much like catching up with a long lost friend rather than a simple inquiry. While we already have many great masons in the lodge, that number is certain to grow given the interaction that I have had with many of those interested in joining the fraternity.

This convergence of good men striving to be better is what this is all about and I am excited to see how the remainder of the year will progress. We will, of course, be encouraging our new brothers to earn their Master Builder Awards and now we will also have many members of the lodge pursuing other awards that were recently launched… similar to that which is earned by first year masons but with a few differentiators. It will be great to see new brothers and their mentors striving to achieve these recognitions as they learn from their experiences and form a stronger bond as they simultaneously meet each of the requirements for their respective recognition.

At the same time, other lodge projects are moving forward. Some are through my office and others are completely separate from my duties (and I am absolutely okay with that). The whole situation really has me curious to see what we will be able to accomplish this year and the strong position that we will find ourselves in heading into 2017. But, I am definitely getting ahead of myself. The key takeaway so far is that it is going to be a busy year and, more importantly, an active year at the lodge and I am proud to be a part of this masonic experience.

Firearms Friday: Grips

When practicing my pistol grip the other day I started thinking about all the other sports when I found myself in this routine. It really is interesting when you think about the commonalities that can be found across three completely different sports… golf, baseball, and shooting. Of course there are drastic difference between the three as well but for the sake of this post I will focus my thoughts, as I did the other day, on the grips.

Like most kids growing up I played baseball every year and over time I picked up more and more techniques and learned the proper way to do things including many of the basics including how to properly hold a baseball and, as it pertains to this stream of consciousness, how to grip a bat. While most see a bat and simple grab it there is actually a method to the grip to maximize bat speed. Basically, you start the bat at the tips of your fingers and roll the bat toward the palm. For some the knob is part of the grip to capitalize on the leverage gained by the additional circumference. By gripping the bat this way you completely free up your wrists allowing for full extension during your swing.

Gripping a golf club is completely different from holding a baseball bat but it also brings us a little closer to a handgun grip. While you want your wrists to be as free as possible when swinging a bat, your wrists should be locked when holding a golf club. This is why you place the club in your palm and you’re your fingers around it with both your thumbs in line pointing at the ball. Strength is also not your friend when it comes to golf as you should have a firm grip on the club but only enough to keep it in your hand. Any more and you risk tilting the head and sending your shot right or left. You can see this at the range all the time.

That last part sound familiar, doesn’t it? When working on my pistol grip there is actually more commonalities with a golf club grip than that of a baseball bat. I do my best to get a high purchase, line up my thumb just below the slide, bring my support hand with my fingers at a 45 degree angle along the front pulling toward my body and down, and line up my thumb just under the other. The part I am really working on is that support hand angle as this is what is really locking in my wrists, forcing the recoil into my shoulders, and allowing me to be firm but not flex with my other hand. This allows for relaxed initial engagements, quick follow up shots, and little in the way of pushing or pulling the trigger. Again, you can see this at the range all the time.

Understandably this is a very basic overview but it was an interesting chain of thoughts that I wanted to share. I am sure I am not the only one that has had this slinky moving through their mind and it just goes to show how closely muscle memory and actual memory are tied together. If we can tap into that it might be a little easier to retrain yourself at the range… you never know. It might work.

Weathered By The Change

It has now been two thirds of a year and the weather is slowly returning to what it was when our son entered the world. The seasons have changed so quickly that it is hard to believe that soon the slight chill in the breeze will become a bitter wind and we will find ourselves looking out the window at the falling snow thinking about the inches that coated the ground when we left for the hospital that morning. Eight months and a heck of a lot has changed since it was just the two of us.

It certainly hasn’t been the easiest experience but it is also one that we wouldn’t trade for anything and we now understand the fondness with which people look back on those early months. It may not seem like it at the time, but those days are full of great moments and memories that will undoubtedly continue to fill our minds as our son grows. All the changes and milestones are things that are both surprising when they happen and amazing when we think about how big he has gotten and what he is now able to do all by himself.

Lately it has been a bit of a challenge with the constant colds and teething but it is the brief moments, even glimpses that put things in perspective and make it all worth the bags under our eyes and the fog in our minds. Even now, watching him peacefully sleeping in his crib, all of those tough hours seem to fade away. And knowing that, when we walk up to the crib to get him up tomorrow morning he will give us the biggest smile that his face can handle, all of those instances when we have doubted ourselves will be forgotten. It is the dichotomy that many people tried to explain to us before he was born but that we were unable to fully comprehend until now.

While there were nights and hours that felt like they would last an eternity, eight months has seemed to be but an instant, almost a singular moment in time. Our memories may contradict that sentiment but the reality is that this is all going by so fast… sometimes too fast. If anything, there are times when I wish I could slow down the hands on the clock, look around, and take everything in. Of course, there are also moment that I wish we had a fast forward button but they are definitely outweighed by all the joy and happiness that we get to hug each and every day. Happy 8 months baby!

Autumn Day Returns

Last year was the first time that I was able to make it down to Elizabethtown for Autumn Day. As you may recall, it was a very special occasion as many of us converged on the retirement community to attend the dedication ceremony for the Eternal Flame. It was one heck of a day and I enjoyed spending time with many of the brethren from my lodge especially those whom I don’t see often. This year, I was equally excited to be attending Autumn Day but for a completely different reason.

Every once in a while I like to bring my wife and family to various masonic events. We have all been pretty busy this past year but we have been planning for a little while to come together and enjoy the day at Elizabethtown. Not only were my wife and son with me this time but my parents and sister’s family also joined us for the walk around the campus, crafts, food, and other laid back events lining the streets and halls of the Masonic Village. This is what made the day special this year.

The timing of the event worked out well for us as the weather is beginning to cool and our son is enjoying being outdoors and looking at the trees. It was fun walking him around, some pushing in the stroller and some carrying in my arms, and seeing his eyes dart from new sights to new sounds, up and down, and back to mommy and daddy. I enjoying bringing him to these new places and giving him experiences that will hopefully instill in him a desire to see more.

It was also a great time for us all to get out as a family (the first time since the reunion over the summer). This time without the long distance travel and having to stay in an unfamiliar hotel room. We were able to come together for a day trip and have a relaxing (for the most part) day walking around, exploring the buildings and grounds, enjoy some free food, and browsing the arts and crafts the residents have for sale. It was also an opportunity for me to share just a little bit about freemasonry with my family… there are always a lot of brothers in attendance at the event to tell you about freemasonry, their lodge, and their appendant body. This was also a great opportunity for me to find some appendant bodies outside of the city that can save me some commute time.  

For me this was the second year in a row that I have gone down to Elizabethtown. However, I hope to make Autumn Days an annual family trip where we can just enjoy being outside, have great conversations, and watch the kids play in the bountiful open spaces. Something else to look forward to next year (and every year after that)!

Throwing Things Together

With my wife’s day booked with taking care of our baby and a myriad of other things, the usual routine when I get home after work is to spend time with our son and to get dinner ready. It is sometimes a difficult decision as to what to do first… should I hold my son for a little bit or get dinner in the oven and hold him afterward or do I hold him before and after? I am a sucker for my son so it is usually the third option.

Thankfully, I am able to throw something decent together pretty fast. This is largely because I paid attention (although it may not have seemed like it at the time) to my mom when I was growing up watching her pull together dinner when she got home from work. While I am not nearly as good as she is, I do my best to get things done quickly and everyone fed at a reasonable time. Given my work schedule, reasonable is any time before 8:00 pm.

My wife is still baffled at times by how fast I am able to get things done (not on chicken strip nights but other evenings) but it is something that I have become used to over the years. It all comes down to the simple fact of knowing what things go together and using as few ingredients and steps as possible. I know how to follow a recipe and still do on occasion, but that takes longer and during the work week I don’t have the extra time. This is also why I don’t bake.

At the same time, I guess that you could say that I do have a few ‘recipes’ as there are combinations that I use regularly using the measuring technique of shake, dump, sprinkle, and cover. So far, nothing has been really bad. Some meals are more unique than others but they have at least been edible. It is all about knowing what flavors go together and it works for me just don’t ask me for exact measurements.  

It is a routine and a way of doing things that continues to work for us. Sure there are nights when I pick something up but knowing what ingredients work well together gives us the option. Maybe if I enjoyed cooking I would spend those few extra minutes but at this point I doubt it as the more time I spend in the kitchen, the more time I am away from my smiling baby boy. So I am just going to continue throwing things together.

TMI Tuesday: Squishy Doesn’t Mean Comfy!

Every night I look forward to crawling into bed onto the slightly squishy mattress and enjoying the comfort for a few minutes before falling asleep. Even when away from home, the same basic routine applies and while I prefer the firmer memory foam at home the plush squishiness on the road is sometimes a welcomed change. Regardless of where I am, it is this little moment of relaxation that ensures a long and restful slumber.

Our son has pretty much the same routine as his daddy. However, there is such a thing as too squishy which he proved early on within the first month of being home. It is this experience which has impacted the way that he has slept ever since.

It all started in mid-March when we hear his intense cry piercing through a rather pungent odor. It was clear that the mess in his diaper was not conducive to his ability to sleep which by this time was usually 5 or more hours at a time. When he was brought over to the changing table we couldn’t really blame him for being uncomfortable. Baby’s first night of swamp butt has stuck with him.  

Since that night our son has, for the most part, refused to poo while he is asleep at night. Naps seem to be a big exception to the rule. Basically, out son just doesn’t like the feeling of laying in his own stinky squishiness and would rather hold it in until morning.

This brings about an obvious drawback because the morning can be a rather vicious time of day. It is when everything seems to wake up and in the midst of his morning stretch everything is let loose. The people at Folgers didn’t take this into account when considering what might be the most dominant smell to perfume the morning.

Unfortunately, we have also found that while he still doesn’t like the feeling, he doesn’t quite have the mastery of his bowels when sitting in the car seat. Those seem to be the most interesting occurrences which usually result in the changing of outfits and a strong urge to give him a quick bath. All the while, pooping is fair game when someone is holding him.

While it smells, it’s messy, and it can be annoying when it happens in a newly sealed diaper, you can’t help but laugh when he gives you that cheeky little smirk that he has already managed to master. He may crap, and crap a lot, but he is so darn cute while doing it that it doesn’t seem that bad… at least in hind sight. And the loud loads are just funny.

One Fast Month

It is hard to believe that a month has already passed since our son decided to surprise us. We had been planning for his anticipated arrival for many months but when he showed up we were taken off guard. Even if everything had gone according to plan I think we still would not have felt as if we were prepared. I guess that just comes with the territory.

Since that early February morning, things have been a little hectic to say the least. It has been both a challenge and a time of wonder watching him adapt to life outside of the womb. Each day there is something a little different. Sometimes it is a rather unpleasant surprise (hence the TMI Tuesday posts) while other times there are moments of awe when my son hears me come home from work and smiles.

The nights can sometimes be long (more so for my wife) and the days go by way too fast. I don’t know where the last month has gone. All the while we have done our best to adapt and get acquainted with the fact that our life is completely different and our priorities have changed significantly.

There have been moments when people have been tremendously helpful and there have been times when those people, contrary to their good intentions, have been quite the hindrance. All the while our son has be surprisingly understanding of all that is going on around him and, for the most part, has not unleashed a plethora of protesting cries. It is a steep learning curve which we sometimes struggle with but have, thus far, been able to keep up.

Now I find myself a lot left that I still have to learn, a stories that I look forward to sharing with my baby, and a schedule that still needs some tweaking. All of this tends to go out the window on a daily basis as our little boy wants nothing to do with schedules and plans. We are all trying to just take things as they come, coordinate the best we can, and see how each day and night plays out.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that I can’t look forward to the future so I am slowly forming my baby bucket list that began germinating not long after we found out that we were having a child. Some of the things are common events during development like hearing his first words, watching him crawl and walk for the first time, and enjoying the silence as he sleeps through the night. Other things are very specific like sharing our hobbies, our family history, and taking him to the places that we enjoy visiting.

This is just a quick overview of what I am jotting down here and there. Don’t be surprised if you read a post in the future about many of the things that I am looking forward to doing and sharing with him. But, for now, I am going to keep it simple and enjoy the wonders of the first month and these first memories that my wife and I have of our new life as a growing family.

TMI Tuesday: Tinkle Tinkle Little Star

Well that's no fun!

That’s right, when a new baby enters your life you are sometimes guilty of too much information when talking about some of the daily (and not so daily) occurrences of living with a newborn. Well, even though I am risking the ire of my son when he gets a little older, this is the time when I will share some of those interesting moments. It may not be every week but it will certainly be on a regular basis and I am sure that there will be plenty of information, too much in fact, to share. Welcome to TMI Tuesday…

My wife and I have spent the last couple of days trying to get our heads around what has happened and all the changes in our lives. There have been times when our room seemed to have a revolving door and others when we were able to take a few breaths between the family and medical professionals walking in and out of the room. Of course there have also been a few entertaining moments in between as well.

One of the things that I am having to learn is how to change a diaper. My wife, with her previous work experience, is much more familiar with the process and a heck of a lot more efficient too. However, my skills at this point are virtually nonexistent. With that said, there have already been times when we both had to stand back and laugh at what had transpired.

A perfect example of this was earlier today when baby released a rather robust colonic announcement leaving us no alternative than to take him to his crib and see if I was improving at all in my changing abilities. While things seemed to be going much faster and I was upsetting him just a little less, it didn’t take long before baby let us know that we can’t expect each changing to go smoothly.

Shortly after we finished wiping everything off, with his rear high in the air, a steady rain began falling around our son. Yeah, we missed that part of the changing process. With a fresh sprinkle of tinkle across his chest and on his face, we grabbed a handful of wipes and cleaned him off again while trying our best to control the nearly crippling laughter that had resulted from the stream. Thankfully baby didn’t really think twice about it and we were soon getting some new clean clothes on him. We are sure that this is only the first of any and that it will probably stop being funny in the future but this time we really needed the laugh.

A Little Lodge Surprise

 Having received the email earlier in the morning, I was sitting at the kitchen table yesterday continuing to work on a variety of pressing projects while rummaging through the overflow of papers that had taken over my work bag. In the middle of all this I was going back and forth on my lode email trying to determine whether or not we would still be having fellowship during this cold and windy night. As the afternoon continued, it seemed less and less likely that I would be joined by my fellow brothers… it looked as though it was going to be a quick evening.

With no real anticipation of being joined in Ardmore that night, I took my time finishing up a few things, packing my bag, and heading out the door. While I would normally arrive after work around 7, last night I turned the corner about thirty minutes later than usual and noticed something surprising… all the lights were on. After checking the mailbox across the street I walked through the main doors only to find a first floor void of any activity. Without a second thought I made my way up the stairs and found the lodge room door wide open and a few muffled instructions coming from within.

I entered the room only to find that I had become the longest standing member of the lodge in this small but dedicated group of 6 brothers. I think that might have been the first time that I had experienced that and it was a bit of an odd feeling. They were all there to learn some of the roles during the degree work going step by step lead by a brother raised only 5 months prior. Impressive leadership to say the least.

With things well under control I walked to the front of the room, pulled out the mail and the ledger, and took care of a few of the items that I had just retrieved from the post office. Once those few items were taken care of, it was time to pull out the computer (another odd feeling for me sitting at desk in the lodge room) and get some other work done that I had been putting off all day. Basically all the items that are without deadlines but should be taken care of as soon as I have a free moment or two.

Even while working I was still able to look out over the screen and check on the progress of our new brothers. Occasionally a question would be cast in my direction and, to my surprise, I was able to respond rather quickly. I guess I have absorbed more than I realized over the past couple of years.

The night came to an end around the usual time and we all made our way back out into the frigid weather. Some of us heading home to family while others taking the time to grab some dinner before getting on the road. However, we all left knowing that we would see each other again the following week which is a welcomed change from just a year ago.

A Season Of Fellowship

I was one of the last to leave the office last night having to make a top at the apartment before heading off to Ardmore for the evening. Thankfully, it was the last day in the office for the week before the holiday and I would be able to make up for the few minute that I lost when I headed out the door. With a fair amount of things still left in our previous dwelling, I found the time to pack a few more boxes and get the mail before pulling out of the lot.

Just two days before Christmas and I found myself at the lodge waiting for some other brothers to arrive. While it wasn’t an inconvenience for me (even though Hanukkah was coming to an end), I anticipated that the holiday would decrease attendance pretty significantly for the night. Just as I realized that I had misplaced my set of keys for the new place, my fellow brothers began to arrive.

My mind was in a few places and I was trying to text and talk at the same time but we still managed to establish a plan for the evening and by the time everything began to settle down, everyone was where they needed to be working on the degrees that they were required to study. Even with the rush of the holiday season around us, there were a number of committed brothers who made their way to the lodge last night.

Again, this is very different than that of the previous year as I don’t recall the same participation from the brethren this close to the end of the year. There is not just a dedication that can be seen in many of the new brethren but a true desire to learn about the fraternity from their fellow brothers. While we don’t always have the answers for them, they are still asking the questions and pursuing the answers to deepen their own knowledge. I am excited to see what comes about from this thirst for more light.

Once this surprisingly satisfying evening drew to a close, I made my way, for the first time, back to the townhouse after lodge. While a longer drive than what I have become accustom, it was a relaxing commute that allowed me just the right amount of time to reflect on the night. I guess this is just another reason why this move and my decision to remain committed to my lodge (rather than transferring to one closer to home) was a great decision.

Intergenerational Connectivity In Freemasonry

It has been both a long and fast year at the lodge. Last night was the final preparation for those degrees to be conferred in 2014 and it was, again, a great mix of both eager and experienced brothers. It was the kind of night that makes me look forward to the coming year and all the things that we plan on accomplishing.

As the Worshipful Master and I were discussing all that we still had to pull together in this final month, we had two candidates arrive early to learn everything that they needed for their next degree. Soon after, one of our long standing brothers walked through the door and after a few moments of fellowship headed off with one of the candidates to prepare him and impart his masonic wisdom. Given that he has been a mason nearly 50 years and served as Worshipful Master on seven different occasions, there is a lot of wisdom to impart.

While the fellowship and training was happening, I first ducked out to make a few calls and tie up a few things for both the upcoming meeting and the fast approaching blood drive this Saturday (spots are still available). Once I took care of all that I could over the phone (which wasn’t much given that it was after 8:00pm at that point), I headed back into the hall and went back and forth between the two training sessions. Not surprisingly, I found myself stopping and listening to our Masonic veteran as he talked about his experiences in the fraternity and how it has influenced his life beyond the lodge.

For those of us that are still new to the fraternity, this is an invaluable resource and really does accentuate the importance of Freemasonry in our lives. It also demonstrates all that can be accomplished in the fraternity and makes us create our own personal masonic goals. Maybe one of these days we can look back with the same sense of pride at our masonic careers and know that we have continued the tradition and work that our brothers before us worked hard to preserve and accomplish.

After all, we are a part of the history of this fraternity. The work that we do now, no matter how insignificant it may seem at the moment, will carry on through the generations of Masons. We all have similar and slightly different experiences at lodge and in freemasonry in general and we apply those perspectives to help, aid, and assist our fellow brothers no matter if they are still working through the degrees or if they have been a mason for 50+ years. That generational interconnectivity is part of what will continue to strengthen current and future masonic experiences… this is part of what makes good men better.