Common Questions

I guess it is just a baby centric week for me. When the week started I had a few topics that I was thinking about writing something but sometimes you just have to go with what you are motivated to write about. All it takes is seeing my son, watching him smile at me, and his infectious laugh and I really have no other option than to write another post about him.

Every other day it seems I am asked the questions of “how are you adjusting to being a dad” or “what it is like to be a father” or some other similar query. Well, there have been times when I have wanted to pull my hair out when I am either inundated with texts at the office or I am unable to comfort him. While there is nothing better than seeing him smile, there is nothing worse than watching that bottom lip slowly protrude. What can I say, I’m a sucker.

Things have certainly changed over the past year. Our schedules have changed, our lifestyle has been greatly altered, and are priorities have shifted. I am spending more time at home and making sure to spend as much time as I possibly can with our son. Sometimes, I admit, it has been to the detriment of spending quality time with my wife. This is something I am still working on.

It has been a great motivator knowing that we are the ones to care for and raise a child. I begin the day (still not a morning person) with greater purpose but also do my best to minimize the amount of work that I bring home with me. It is a complete shift in how I used to go about each day. I still work a lot but I try to segregate that time and get those other things done after he has gone to bed for the night.

It really is an amazing feeling seeing my son in the morning and being the first one he sees some days as he turns his head and rubs his eyes. Again, that smile is the best way to start the day. It is hard to leave in the morning and say goodbye but I also have a family to look forward to seeing as the sun slowly sinks behind the trees in the evening.

Each and every day, there is something else that I look forward to sharing with my son. It varies each day. Sometimes I see something interesting, find a family document, visit or remember a picturesque place, or even something as simple as going to lodge or attending some other event. We have the plans in place already to share these things with him but the list keeps getting longer and longer as our memories are collected on paper. And this weekend (and this summer), we will continue sharing those experiences with him.

So, to go back to the question, I think I am adjusting pretty well to being a father. Sometimes I just have to hold on and enjoy the ride but there are moments when I am able to collect myself and make necessary changes. There are a number of things that I still have to work at but I hope to do a better job as both a father and a husband as time goes by. After all, there are a lot of things that we have to cover in a short period of time (which is already going by way too fast).

Baby Bucket List

As the days fly by and our son keeps getting bigger and bigger, the list of things that I want to do with him keeps getting longer. Actually, it is not just about things I want to do with him, it is also about the milestones that I am looking forward to witnessing. While by no means my complete list of scribbles, here are a few of the things that I am looking forward to as our son grows up:  

1. First Words – He is already proving to be quite the vocal child and while he is already making a sound similar to that of saying ‘Hi’ when I come home from work, I am looking forward to hearing that first distinct word. I am hoping that it will be either mommy or daddy (or something similar) but I am not completely ruling out the possibility that we could have a similar instance than that seen in “Meet The Fockers”.

2. Crawling./ Walking – He has surprised us at this point by standing with little help from either of us (we are mostly there for stability) but he also has no interest in laying on his tummy so I am curious to see how this progresses. While a whole new host of issues arise once he becomes mobile, I am looking forward to the day when he demonstrates this little kernel of independence.

3. Pool / Swimming – This one is more for my wife. We haven’t taken him to a pool yet. This should be an interesting experience. Hopefully he likes the pool as much as he enjoys his bath (at least the first half of the bath).

4. Baseball – Now we are progressing a little further in his development. While he has already shown an interest in throwing things and watching baseball on TV (made for a quiet dinner at Fox & Hound last week), I am looking forward to putting those two things together. I just hope he got his grandfather’s athletic ability because it definitely skipped me.  

5. Lodge Events – While we have taken him to the lodge once I am looking forward to the future events both at my lodge as well as other masonic events in the area (and outside the area like our trip to Pittsburgh coming up). There are a lot of us with young kids and I really want to see all of us get together for an experience far different from those on meeting nights.

6. Synagogue – We are a little behind on this one. While there isn’t much that he will comprehend early on, we want our son to be used to going to synagogue and make it part of his routine. We need to get moving on this search.

7. First Day of School – Again, looking into the future. This is a milestone that I think every parent looks forward to happening. I will be there the day that this happens (mixed emotions and all). Hopefully he proves to be a better student than his father.

8. Family History – My wife and I have spent a lot of time learning about our families and we want to share those histories with our son. We want to make sure that he knows where he comes from and learns all about the people we come from both more recent and in the distant past. Hopefully, I can find some answers along the way and share these discoveries with him. After all, he is a continuation of both our families.

9. Family Reunions – This is something that my wife and I agreed is incredibly important for us as a family. We are starting this year with my side of the family (I will be writing extensively about our trip to Virginia this summer) followed by my wife’s family next year. We plan on going back and forth every year. Again, we want our son to know his family and family history.

10. Family Vacations – In addition to bringing our son to some of the places that my wife have been and enjoyed over the last several years both local (i.e. Jim Thorpe, Gettysburg, Knoebels, etc.) and not so local (i.e. Florida, Massachusetts, London, Israel, etc.), we are also looking forward to exploring new places and destinations with him. While we have no idea where those places will be at this point, it is still fun to think of the possibilities.  

As I previously mentioned, there are countless other things that I am looking forward to but this at least gives you an idea of some of the things that I am eagerly anticipating. There are a few things that I have already been able to check off (cooing, smiling, first weekend trip, etc.) but the list is growing much faster than we are able to take things off. I guess this is also a part of parenthood… the annoying, slightly OCD, impatient part.  

So I now turn things over to you: What does your list look like? What have you already checked off? What are some of the things that you wish you had done?

One Fast Month

It is hard to believe that a month has already passed since our son decided to surprise us. We had been planning for his anticipated arrival for many months but when he showed up we were taken off guard. Even if everything had gone according to plan I think we still would not have felt as if we were prepared. I guess that just comes with the territory.

Since that early February morning, things have been a little hectic to say the least. It has been both a challenge and a time of wonder watching him adapt to life outside of the womb. Each day there is something a little different. Sometimes it is a rather unpleasant surprise (hence the TMI Tuesday posts) while other times there are moments of awe when my son hears me come home from work and smiles.

The nights can sometimes be long (more so for my wife) and the days go by way too fast. I don’t know where the last month has gone. All the while we have done our best to adapt and get acquainted with the fact that our life is completely different and our priorities have changed significantly.

There have been moments when people have been tremendously helpful and there have been times when those people, contrary to their good intentions, have been quite the hindrance. All the while our son has be surprisingly understanding of all that is going on around him and, for the most part, has not unleashed a plethora of protesting cries. It is a steep learning curve which we sometimes struggle with but have, thus far, been able to keep up.

Now I find myself a lot left that I still have to learn, a stories that I look forward to sharing with my baby, and a schedule that still needs some tweaking. All of this tends to go out the window on a daily basis as our little boy wants nothing to do with schedules and plans. We are all trying to just take things as they come, coordinate the best we can, and see how each day and night plays out.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that I can’t look forward to the future so I am slowly forming my baby bucket list that began germinating not long after we found out that we were having a child. Some of the things are common events during development like hearing his first words, watching him crawl and walk for the first time, and enjoying the silence as he sleeps through the night. Other things are very specific like sharing our hobbies, our family history, and taking him to the places that we enjoy visiting.

This is just a quick overview of what I am jotting down here and there. Don’t be surprised if you read a post in the future about many of the things that I am looking forward to doing and sharing with him. But, for now, I am going to keep it simple and enjoy the wonders of the first month and these first memories that my wife and I have of our new life as a growing family.

Working On The Bucket List

It’s always a great feeling to cross something off your bucket list and yesterday I was able to do just that when my wife and I walked on the Appalachian Trail. We didn’t walk very far but we left our boot prints on the trail and that is enough to cross it off the list. It is because of that simple list that we drove about three and a half hours each way just to hike for about two and a half hours.

Our trip this week did not begin on a good note as we sat in traffic on the Schuykill Expressway for about an hour waiting for a multi car accident to be cleaned up (Thank you KYW for the heads up after we put our car in park on the expressway). Once we passed the pile of morons (seeing the aftermath I can say for certain that stupidity was involved), the highway cleared up and we were finally making progress. The rest of the drive happened without incident and we arrived at Gardners, Pennsylvania in the Pine Grove Furnace State Park.

Once we arrived we immediately calculated in what direction and how far we would have to hike by chatting with some section hikers who had just emerged from the woods. We found out that about a three miles hike south would do the trick and get us to the halfway point. Now that we had our bearings it was time to start walking.

We passed the park’s namesake…

...with flowers blooming beside it...

…and the local hostel (which is quite full this time of year)…

…and made our way into the woods (no musical interlude needed thank you).

The first part of our hike was uphill and was not assisted in any way by the hot and muggy day… the kind of heat and humidity that makes us dread the oncoming of summer. Shortly after beginning it was made very clear that an overweight, out of shape, smoker on the trail does not move very fast. Much of this was explained by Bill Bryson in his excellent book “A Walk In The Woods” but his account isn’t really fully appreciated until you experience your fatness firsthand.

While the hike was hard for those of us in, to put it nicely, non hiking shape, there were times of even terrain that allowed us to find our breath and enjoy the path weaving in-between the trees.

There were also a few spots along the way that opened up and provided a small secluded wilderness oasis.

Throughout our excursion, we walked on a wide variety of surfaces from rocks…

…and plain old dirt…

…to little streams…

…and bridges.

We walked on logs (used as stairs)…

…through logs…

…and beside many fallen trees.

After about 75 minutes on the trail we had decided to push ahead for another 15 minutes to see if we could make it to the half waypoint. Shortly after resuming, the trail became a little too much for the fat man and his wife as the overgrowth covered the forest floor hiding the path and the footing that was tenuous at best. With a questionable trail and an evident imbalance between desire and ability we decided to turn around and try another day when we were both in better shape.

The hike back seemed much easier and enjoyable than our blind trek into the thick woods a short time ago and before we knew it we were passing signs in the trail that we clearly remembered.

As the cabins appeared in the distance and the rain began to drum the mountain canopy we could see trail open up and the asphalt get darker and darker as the AT thrust us back into civilization. A short walk down the road we were warmly greeted at the Appalachian Trail Museum which was right next to the parking lot where we left our car for the afternoon.

After a quick tour of the one room tribute to the trail, a few quick conversations with some weathered thru hikers, and we were heading back to the car leaving our last few footprints on the trail before we went home.

Our hike ended just in time as the off and on rain of the early afternoon was gearing up for an early summer onslaught.

But even with a nearly four hour drive home, I had crossed an item off my bucket list and that makes for a great day no matter how long the commute might have been.