TMI Tuesday: Leaving Something Behind

Random photo found online of the old school method.

This past weekend with all the stories that we were told about my wife’s family it made me appreciate a couple of things. The first is that my wife and I have done a lot of research about our families and now know more than we ever did growing up. In fact, it is safe to say, that we have more information, stories, and documents now than at any other point in recent generations. Second, I am so glad that I have so much that I have written down about the lives of my family and my own life as well. All of this will be passed down and, hopefully, our son will carry that knowledge with him and pass it down as well.

While there have been time when I have fallen behind on this blog (like now), today marks the 1200^th consecutive daily post that I have written and posted. This is by far my longest writing project and, honestly, there is no end in sight at this point. There are certain to be slow times again in the future and periods when it is difficult to record my thoughts but they will get out and they will be recorded in these posts.

Life has changed drastically since I made the decision to blog again and while there have certainly been challenges along the way, life keeps getting better (and busier) with each passing post. Looking back there are a lot of things that I would probably change but, at the same time, there are many stories, essays, and rants that I am glad that I took the time to record. After all, those are the posts and opinions, when taken together, that will reveal who I am to my son.

However, there are definitely some things that I still have to work on as many of the things written have been rather pointed, some are poorly written, and others just don’t make any darn sense in one way or another. Of course, this is in addition to the fact that there is a slight (and sometimes not so slight) egocentricity that can be found in a few pieces here and there. Hey, I never said I was perfect and, to a certain extent, I am glad that these flaws are present in my writing.

In the end, this is who I am, what I do, and what I leave behind. Like it or not, take it or leave it, clichéd and creative. If this is the only thing that I am able to leave behind I am okay with that. And, just think, this is only the beginning.  

Sunday Search: Another Reunion!

The family will understand the significance of this photo. 

While we have been planning this weekend for months we have been thinking about it for even longer. Ever since our son was born (especially given the circumstances around his birth) my wife and I have made a conscious effort to preserve our respective family histories that we can one day pass down all of this information to him. Part of this process is making sure that we attend the family reunions whenever we are given the opportunity to do so. Today, and this entire weekend for that matter, we were finally able to introduce our son to my mother-in-law’s side of the family up in New York.

While we have been sharing meals with various family members for the entire weekend, it was nice to have a larger group together for a short time so that we could learn a little more about the family, the different branches, and also the place where many of the roots still thrive. Much like the family reunion last summer, there were people we knew, some we recognized, and others to whom I was introduced for the first time. It was also a great way to introduce our son to an entirely new culture as these family members represented our son’s Italian and New York heritage.

After all, the stories are there, you just have to be there to listen. And when many of the family members weren’t playing with our son they would share their memories with us bringing to the fore both the rawness of recent memory but also appreciation of the time we did have with them. There really isn’t a way to describe that particular experience and that mix of emotions but, in the end, I am glad that we were there and that we are able to provide a connection to this part of the family not just for my wife and I but for our son.

Most importantly, while this was simply another reunion or gathering for some present, it was a means to connect with family for us. Family that shared stories with us that can’t be found in any book but that speak to the character of the family into which I was, once again, warmly welcomed. It was an afternoon and weekend that we will not soon forget and an experience we look forward to sharing with our son many more times in the future. However, next time I just have to remember to not eat for about three weeks prior.

TMI Tuesday: Daddy Kisses!

A few months ago, while trying to get our son to sound out a few new words, I would pick him up and ask, “Can you say, ‘Daddy, I love you’?” While the first couple of times that I did this there wasn’t much of a reaction and maybe only a few mumbles of a baby babble but, over time, this changed. One morning before sitting him at the table for breakfast, I posed the same question and got a response I wasn’t expecting. He didn’t say anything, rather he leaned over and gave daddy a big, and very wet, kiss on the lips.

This is not something that he had done but only a couple of times previously, before this he simply did not give daddy kisses. This became almost a daily routine for us as I would ask him the same question and our son giving me the same response. Frankly, I kept hoping for the words but was completely happy with the alternative. There were even some instances when, without me saying a word, he would walk over to me in the playroom just to give me a kiss.  

What came as a surprise shortly after this all started was that I didn’t even have to be present for our son to react this way. When driving home from the office one night I asked the question hoping that he may try to sound out the words but, instead, he took hold of the phone and gave it a big kiss and giggled. Again, this has also become part of our weekday routine.

However, a couple of weeks ago the kisses stopped. Our son no longer wants to give hugs and kisses as frequently as he once did. I guess the phase has passed. As we have been told many times over, enjoy the moments when they happen. While the in person affection has slowed, our son has maintained his phone response and continues to kiss and hug the phone when asked the simple question.

In place of the physical responses, now the words are becoming a much more prevalent part of our days with some clearer than others. We still working on the same question we were before, he is now making a more concerted effort to sound it out. While this was the original impetus for my query a few months back I now find myself missing those moments when my son would give me a big kiss as if to say “of course I love you daddy.”

T-Shirts, Horseshoes, and Hamburgers

It was really a matter of happenstance that we even had the time to drive down to King of Prussia a couple of weekends ago. And, somehow, our son’s nap schedule had some flexibility for the day so, after lunch, we all piled in the car with the hope that he would sleep on the way over. While we are having work done on the house in between the work weeks, the scheduled day off corresponded nicely with an event that was a couple of months in the making… the 6^th Masonic District Family Picnic.

To say that it was a hot afternoon would be an understatement. While I have broiled at higher temperatures, the combination of heat and humidity was, to say the least, uncomfortable. So much so that I was wondering what the turnout was going to be like as we weaved our way through the King of Prussia neighborhoods. After a few missed turns and slow coasting down the small streets, we finally made it to the park where I was met with a pleasant sight.

We arrived about an hour after the picnic was scheduled to start and we were greeted by nearly everyone in attendance as we walked through the crowd to the t-shirt table in the back. It was great to see everyone outside of the lodge and especially during the summer when we usually don’t have the opportunity to get together as a district. It was also nice to once again meet the masonic families in attendance and introduce them to my family in the process.

While we looked to sit down and have a bite to eat (our District Deputy makes a fantastic hamburgers), our son couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the horseshoes flipping and spinning through the air landing, mostly, with a loud pink or clang. It actually brought back some great memories from when I was not much older than my son as I watched my uncles trade points in the back yard. Of course, it didn’t take long before his attention was broken by everyone around us trying to catch his attention especially a little girl (of one of our new candidates) who just wanted to play with our shy little boy.

Again, it was hot and we all seemed a little sluggish that afternoon but time didn’t seem to be fazed by the temperature. Before we knew it, we were heading back to the car and turning the air conditioning as high as it could go. It was a great time and I look forward to this new annual gathering. I just hope that it is a little cooler next year and every year after that.

TMI Tuesday: 18 Months

A year and a half (and a day) later and we are still trying to get used to this new life. With all the changes that keep happening and all of the things swirling around in our life right now it is hard to keep track of time. Yesterday, I looked at the calendar and saw that eighteen months has already passed and it is hard to believe how different things are now compared to the life we were living before we became a family.

The day is still etched in my mind, sitting on the surface of memory like it just happened a few days ago. I can still feel my son’s rapid heartbeat as I held him for the first time in the operating room and his tiny pink hand as he gripped my finger for the first time. I can hear the beeping of the monitors faintly filling the background. I can see the words streaming through my phone bringing to the fore both the happy and despicable aspects of humanity. I can see the tears as they silently streamed down my wife’s face both in the joy of the morning and the pain of the evening. However, most importantly, I can see that moment, that first instant, when mother and son embraced one another and began this journey together.

I remember the anxiety and excitement as I pulled the car around to the front entrance, loaded the items that had been accumulating for the past several days into the trunk, and buckled my family into the car. It was a slow ride back to our townhouse and one during which I couldn’t help but think about all the people who would be at the house to greet him and the one that wouldn’t be there. It was a ride that moved us forward as a family but also one during which I wished I could hit eighty eight and drive to the past.

Time has moved so quickly since our son came into our life at 9:14 am and when I look at him it is hard to believe that he was once so small. He has already learned so much and he keeps surprising us every day with how much he knows and understands. Most importantly, even with some of the chaos that has swirled around us, we have protected our son and he remains as happy as ever. While I still enjoy the quiet moments, there is nothing better than coming home to the excited sounds from my son saying “Daddy!”

TMI Tuesday: Baby Babble And Toddler Talk

Over the last month our son has been stringing together words faster than we can really keep track. In between those clear and unclear words is usually a string of babble that is definitely supposed to mean something but that we are unable to understand. It is at this point when our son can get frustrated when we don’t hand him the right thing or react the way that he expects. This is usually when he becomes more insistent with both his babble and his gestures as if to ask “Why don’t you understand what I’m saying?”

However, there are the moments when we are able to put together the “words” and gestures offering our son the responses that he expects. Not only is it a nearly indescribable feeling knowing that we are able to communicate but we can tell by his reaction that he is both relieved and excited that we are understanding what he is saying. It is really cute how proud and happy that he gets when we have our brief conversations.

It is amazing to think about how much has changed in this regard as it was only a few weeks ago when his limited vocabulary prevented us from putting the pieces together. Now, with a constantly expanding collection of words, it is becoming easier and easier to understand what he is trying to say. It is actually quite interesting as we have to be careful with what we say because you never know what word will take hold in his ears and play back when we least expect it. This has almost gotten us into trouble a few times.

While he is slowly picking up words and figuring out how to pronounce them, the amazing part of this whole thing is that he comprehends much more than he can currently convey. This has been the case for months as he always seems to understand what we are saying and what is being said around him in general. Now he is picking things up and repeating them with more and more confidence and clarity… this week is a world away from last week and last week was a completely different dimension from the week prior.  

I am curious to hear how things progress but one thing is for sure, he enjoys talking, he enjoys babbling, but, most importantly, he likes being heard and understood. Slowly but surely we are communicating more concisely and we are both doing so with huge smiles on our faces. A smile that seems to say “thank you for understanding me daddy. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time.” Me too my baby boy, me too.

TMI Tuesday: Oh, Nuts!

We have a, most of the time, happy little boy who is, mostly, health so there isn’t really anything that we can complain about there. So far, 2016 has been pretty good to us but there have also been many challenges this year and while we have gotten some answers there are other questions that remain. The biggest of which relates to our son’s possible allergies.

We learned rather quickly in the spring that Penicillin, for all the good that it can do, is not something that agrees with our son. The hives, rash, and bloating made us acutely aware of his allergy to this widely prescribed medication. It was one of the scariest few days of parenthood thus far with multiple trips to the emergency room and countless appointments with the pediatrician. Not knowing what was going on during those first couple of days is a feeling that I hope to never experience again.  

I guess the good and bad things about the situation is that we already had an allergist lined up for our son as there have been some minor reactions to peanut butter that we were hoping to get figured out. The appointments started in January or February but, because of the chaos that ensued since then, we are still in a state of flux. We simply don’t know if this is another allergen to add to his list.

The latest attempt brought us some hope as it was the final of three steps of testing. He had already passed the skin test and the blood work also came back negative. The final exam was to conduct a food challenge to see if anything happened while consuming peanut butter. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, our son wouldn’t eat more than the initial taste (three are required) and we are once again in limbo until the winter.

While nuts have been a part of our regular diet before this year, we haven’t had any in the house since winter and have consumed little outside of the house as well (never around our son). It is a change and sometimes a challenge, especially given the stock pile kept in the office kitchen, but it is completely manageable. Yes, we have to alter some things here and there but, beyond the aforementioned allergy and potential allergy, our son is a happy and growing boy. And, having survived last year, 2016 is pretty easy in comparison.

TMI Tuesday: Napping Away From Home

Definitely not as comfortable as the crib but it works!

It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone when I saw that when our son was first born he would sleep just about anywhere. It didn’t matter if we were home, in the car, or, as was the case last summer, in a hotel room. It was one of the luxuries that, unfortunately, my wife and I didn’t fully appreciate at the time. As he has gotten older and more aware of the world around him things have definitely changed and it isn’t so easy to put him down for a nap as it once was. Heck, even when he is exhausted at night he would still much rather be picking blueberries than sleeping. Don’t worry, we learned our lesson (a refresher really) during that trip.

His considerable preference for his own bed is both understandable and frustrating at the same time as his nap is in the middle of the day which means we usually have to plan our activities accordingly. There have been time when we have taken the risk and had him sleep in the car but this has only barely been working as of late. With so many things planned throughout the summer we knew that we were going to have to get him used to sleeping somewhere else besides his crib.

We didn’t have much planned this past weekend beyond the usual house and yard work that needed to get done, so we coordinated with my parents to head over to their house for the day. This was a long overdue visit as we couldn’t recall the last time that we went to visit them. After going back and forth about when we should leave we finally determined that this was as good a time as any to try and have him nap somewhere else so we packed the car and made our way across the counties.

Shortly after we arrived and fed him some lunch we could see that our son was ready for some quite time. As he rubbed his eyes and explored nearly every cabinet in my parents’ kitchen, the pack n play was set up and situated in the living room just inside the front door. Surprisingly, he didn’t fuss when we put him down and before we knew it the kicking and babbling stopped as he fell into a deep and lasting sleep. About an hour and a half later and we were relieved that he was finally able to settle and sleep somewhere else besides his own bed at home.

Thankfully, our experiment bodes well for both future trips to see his grandparents as well as the various travels that we have scheduled over the next few months. We might actually be able to relax during our escapes and show our son even more of the scenery and places around the towns in which we will be staying. Next test will be determining the length of time that he can put up with being in his car seat… I don’t think he will tolerate the seven hour drives like last year. Hopefully it will work if we build those distances over the summer but we will have to wait and find out. But at least he can sleep when we get there.

Mortgage Monday: More Babyproofing

When my wife and I were looking for a house it was always in the back of our mind the steps that we would have to take with each property both right away and in the near future to make sure it was a safe environment for our son. Some places were better than others and while the home we eventually purchased wasn’t exactly what we had in mind, we knew that it had everything we wanted and we could baby proof everything with relative ease. When we first moved into our home we, once again, took stock of what needed to be done but, since our son wasn’t mobile at the time, nothing was pressing.  

A few months later and the trips to Lowe’s, Walmart, and other stores became more frequent. When he first started crawling we made sure to take care of the babyproofing basics around the house. This consisted of making sure that the outlets had covers, baby gates were installed, and a foam buffer was secured around the hearth. At this point, we were pretty much ahead of the game in most regards. However, we quickly fell a little behind.

Before I knew it, I was putting up additional gates, including some handyman work to install the one at the top of the stairs, putting covers on door knobs, and constantly surveying the house for the odds and ends that could cause a problem. After a long weekend, we were once again where we needed to be but that didn’t last very long either. With our son’s first few steps that pesky list reappeared and quickly began growing until finally we couldn’t put it off any longer.

This time around things were a little more involved as we installed locks on the kitchen cabinets, secured furniture to walls, and rearranges some of the other items throughout the house so that it would remain out of reach of our son’s tiny curious fingers. This was also about the time that we had to readjust our car seats and install additional doorknob covers. Again, we got caught up rather quickly but find ourselves with a list that refuses to go away.

Each time we have to add or install things here and there we think back to some of the houses that we looked at during our search. Every time we are relieved that we made the decision that we did and purchased the house which we now call our home. It just goes to show that even if a house seems perfect and could have immaculate staging, you still have to think about your needs and how well that space works for you now and, more importantly, in the future.

TMI Tuesday: Follow Me Daddy!

Ever since our son learned how to put one hand in front of the other he has greeted me at the door every night when I get home from work. Sometimes he even makes his way into the kitchen if I have only been gone for a few minutes or a couple hours. Recently things have changed and he no longer crawls into the kitchen when he hears the door open. Instead, he gets up on his feet and walks as fast as he can across the house until he is standing at my feet and looking up at me with those eyes that let him get away with just about anything.

It has been a quick progression from those slow almost methodical movements as he navigated through the chaos of his playroom and around the corners. From there he progressed to cruising the furniture until his sight caught up with the sound of daddy and he would drop to all fours and scurry across the floor. Now he is about a half step from running into my arms as soon as I turn around. Fortunately, he has learned over the past several months to give daddy a minute so that I can put my bag down and wash my hands before I pick him up and play with him.

It is both rewarding and a little scary to see how fast he is growing by all that melts away when I see him smiling up at me and when he reaches for my hand wanting to walk with me back to the play room. However, even that new routine isn’t so new anymore. What has also changed this week is the fact that he no longer needs to take my hand… he doesn’t need the extra security to walk from one place in the house to another. He would much rather have me follow him when I get home or, as is the case in the morning, have me follow him to the kitchen table.

Things are changing so fast and I always worry if I am missing too much being away from home so much during the day and sometimes at night. I guess our son isn’t the only one experiencing a little separation anxiety at this point in his development. But this is also why I try to make every moment count and why I will gladly follow my son when I get home each and every day that I possibly can and make sure that we share as many of these moments as possible. After all, this is a time we can never get back so we have to embrace it and enjoy each and every moment. And, most importantly, while he may not take it all the time, we must always have our hand out to support him.

Sunday Search: Being True To Father’s Day

This is a long overdue post that I have kept putting off when the thought of writing it has entered my mind over the years. As the most recent urge to record my thoughts coincided with Father’s Day it really was no longer an option to write about my father at greater length. While I have briefly mentioned my father in previous posts, I have consistently left out many of the details… pretty much all of the details in fact. While by no means comprehensive and certainly a work in progress, I dedicate this post to my father.

Growing up in a rather modest row home on Iona Avenue in Narberth, Pennsylvania my father was one who, despite his academic abilities, focused largely on sports during his formative years. In fact, I have been told stories on a few occasions that there were even scouts in the stands when my father was a catcher on the varsity baseball team for Lower Merion High School. And not all of those scouts were focusing on other players on the team or opposing hitters in the other dugout like Reggie Jackson. Because major league teams don’t keep all of their scouting records, this is a story that has no substantiation but, given the honest passion with which they were told and the talent that I saw on display decades later, there has to at least be a little truth in those tales.

What I do know for certain is that following his high school graduation my father knew with near absolute certainty that he was going to be drafted. Not surprisingly, he took his fate into his own hands and figured out a way to go into the military as an officer without the luxury of a college degree. This how my father ended up serving as a warrant officer and helicopter pilot during the Vietnam War. While he flew in excess of, conservatively, 50 combat missions and nearly paid the ultimate sacrifice during the Tet offensive on 30 January 1968 at 1830 hours when he was struck by one of the seven 30 caliber rounds that punctured his aircraft, he has yet to receive the recognition for his service with the 155^th Assault Helicopter Company (Stagecoach) out of Ban Me Thuot. This is an oversight that I am trying to rectify… I actually found out that this is an issue common with the company in which he served.

Following his Army service, my father returned home and, with his newly found focus, truncated the time it took to receive his degree from St. Joseph’s University (then St. Joseph’s College). With funds remaining in his GI Bill, he immediately pursued and later received his MBA from the same institution. He considered law school but eventually decided to continue his career in finance. Mind you he was also maintaining full time employment and volunteering with the Narberth Ambulance  Corps. Also during this period in his life, he was introduced to my mother (thanks to her brother), a relationship that has lasted for over 40 years.

With his education complete and a young family at home, my father continued thrive in the business world. While there have been certain unpleasant monikers and unpleasant terms used to describe my father during this time, in the end, he was good at his job, didn’t accept failure, hated braggers and name droppers, and expected people to work just as hard as he did. Even years later, I can recall brief moments of conversations echoing from his office. I may not have completely understood them at the time and even now I can’t recall exactly what was said but, as I have gotten older, I have come to understand those moments to be glimpses into his aforementioned work ethic.

I have also come to realize that my older siblings may have had a different experience growing up but I remember my father trying to find the time to help me when he could, attend practices and games, and answer questions that broke through my stubbornness while completing homework assignments. I also recall the moments playing miniature golf on the board walk in Ocean City, my poor attempts to play real golf on various occasions, going to Phillies games at the Vet, and simply joining him during weekly short car rides into the city or along the main line with the oldies station or KYW News Radio (1060) playing in the background.

To this day I still look up to my father and there are new memories made every day. I have come to better appreciate everything that he has done for me and the lessons that he has taught me over the years… some I took to quickly while others it took years before I finally got it. While our conversations have changed over the years, I enjoy the times that he is able to share his experiences and knowledge about subjects with me as well as those rare moments when I am able to tell him about something new or a recent family discovery that I have made.

However, the greatest moment are when I am able to see him with his grandson with whom he shares his name. And the times when we can all experience something new as a family are the memories that will last not just my lifetime but my son’s lifetime as well. There is no greater feeling than when I remind my son that this is your granddad, this is daddy’s daddy. Happy Father’s Day Dad!

Busy Day Off

A day off is never simply a day off anymore. While there are occasions when I have taken some time to travel or go to different events, lately that hasn’t been the case as there are simply too many things that need to get done or appointments that need to be scheduled. Yesterday was a prime example of this new, self-created, reality as I originally took the day off to speak at an event in the afternoon and go to my son’s appointment in the early evening. Well, that isn’t exactly how things ended up working out.

Having slept in an extra thirty minutes on Sunday, I told my wife that I would take care of breakfast for our son in the morning. It is actually pretty fun spending the time with him and he is usually pretty patient with me when it takes a little longer to prepare his meal. By the time he was done eating and I had finished waking up, half of the morning was already gone and the first appointment of the day was about to begin. When I previously said that I needed to get more estimates done for the various projects around the house I wasn’t kidding.

As I discussed all the options and what exactly needed to be done with the garage door company, my wife headed out to a local event as one of the orchards in the area with our son. After my meeting was done and the quote in hand, I got in the car and drove the ten minutes down the road to meet up with them. It was actually pretty interesting watching my son walk along the long rows of strawberries eating all of the fruit out of the small basket almost as soon as my wife put it in there. When we finished picking our pile (pile and a half when accounting for all the ones our son consumed), we got back in our cars and headed home where we finished feeding out son his lunch, played a bit, and put him down for his nap.

Just as we were about to take him upstairs, the doorbell rang and the second appointment of the day began. This time we received a quote for my office doors (and a few ballpark figures for the deck and porch that we would like to add later). Like the first quote of the day, it was much lower than the initial estimates that I received. Unfortunately, that was the end of the estimates as the third appointment had to be rescheduled for next week… honestly, I don’t know if they are going to be able to beat the price I just got from this company but we will have to wait and see.

After taking a short break when I was able to check the mail, send a few emails, and waking up our son for his snack, we got back in the car and headed north to the pediatrician’s office. It was a great checkup that I will write about later and, fortunately, the waiting room wasn’t filled with Gosselins. Like many days away from the office, time seemed to evaporate from by grasp and before we had another moment to catch our breath, the day was winding down and we were planning for the follow day. All of this and I still wasn't able to fit everything into my schedule. And, at the moment, it looks like my next day out of the office will be just as busy next week.

Sunday Search: Mother’s Day And Maiden Names

This Mother’s Day I wanted to discuss an interesting situation that comes about in many of the genealogy conversations that I have with others. Unfortunately, the sentiments that follow are not restricted to those only now just starting their research… I have encountered many knowledgeable family historians that just seem to be stuck in a certain mindset. The issue is rather simple, and appropriate for this day, in that there are too many people only focusing on a fraction of their family history by overlooking the wealth of lineal knowledge that exists in a maiden name.

In several instances lately I have spoken to individuals who can, at great length, discuss the history of their surname and can also speak intelligently about their own mother’s line (and sometimes the lines of their grandmothers). However, that is where there maternal ancestry stops. Once they go back a couple of generations it seems as though they have forgotten that there are multiple paths that we can take into the past through both husbands and wives.

First, let me start with the fact that I am proud to have my mother’s maiden name as part of my own, serving as my middle name. It has allowed me to carry with me the surnames of both of my families and I do my best to remember that each day. Second, now as a father, I better understand the importance of teaching my son about all the families that he represents and I look forward to sharing that knowledge with him. Third, I have explored many of the different lines in my tree weaving between husband and wife and I can attest to the rich tapestry that is revealed when you allow yourself to take this journey.

There is so much more to who we are than simply our male descendants and the surname that we each carry. It is with this in mind that I encourage everyone to not just remember your mothers on this day but all the mothers in your family tree that have each had an impact, large or small, known or unknown, on who you are. Without the women in our family we would not have life… we would not have the layers upon layers of history and the fascinating lacework that is our own family genealogy. Mothers are what make genealogy possible and we should always remember that and honor them by knowing about all sides of the family.

TMI Tuesday: I Can’t Poop!

 

There are many different cries and screams that we have learned to decipher over the past year and a half. Granted, my wife is much better as interpreting them but there are a few that I have been able to pick up over time. One of them has a certain decibel and cadence that simply translates to “I can’t poop and I am not happy about it!” Unfortunately, we tend to know that this one is going to happen when he goes nearly an entire day without a red faced movement.

This is also one of those screams that can really happen at any time, day or night. And it doesn’t matter where we are at the time either as we have experienced his vocal cords piercing our ears while in bed, at the dinner table, in the playroom, while out to dinner, with family, and in the car. It is an equal opportunity scream that definitely gets your attention. Keep in mind that all of this is in despite of him regularly eating a healthy amount of movement inducing foods.

When we hear it we know that he is uncomfortable and, if at night, he is going to have trouble sleeping. And, given the backup that it represents, we try to keep his situation in mind when he doesn’t eat as much or doesn’t scurry around the house at the rate or regularity that he normally does. What’s worse, is that this particular siren becomes more pronounced when he doesn’t get the results he is looking for after the latest colonic pilates session.

During some of these more intense blockages, he even produces what can best be described as golf balls in between complete expulsions. Try sitting on a golf ball or small rock while at your desk and see how that feels. It is a sensation that doesn’t offer any relief. On the contrary, it makes him even grumpier and I can’t really blame him for the reaction.

However, when all is said and done and the increased fiber intake overtakes the barrier, the sense of relief that washes over his face is quite the site to see. Of course, there is a hint of fear in his eyes as well as he knows that the odds of a blowout are rather high in this situation. But, when all is said and done, it is nice to have our cheeky little baby boy back to his normal self. At least until the next time.

TMI Tuesday: Milk Please!

In addition to chugging, he can also put the ball in the cup too... 

There are moments when my son tilts his head back and his sippy cup almost vertical when I want to poke a hole in the bottom and see how fast he can really guzzle his milk. This has been his routine ever since we got him off of formula a few months back. Basically, in addition to being much friendlier to our bank account, our son seems to enjoy whole milk much more than the rancid smelling concoction that we used to have to mix before every meal.

He has gotten pretty good at drinking too. Among his various techniques, in addition to the milk pounding mentioned above, he has many one handed and no hand ways that he enjoys drinking. He also does the same thing with the sippy cups full of water that we keep on a side table in the family room for whenever he gets thirsty.

However, there are moments when his overzealous chugging can be more problematic as it can put him off balance at times. This usually isn’t a big deal as, for the most part, he is either sitting or holding onto something while standing and drinking but there are times when he puts himself in a precarious position. Those moments include when he lets go of his support (usually leading to his legs buckling), he tries to emphatically drink while I am holding him (I almost have to hug him to keep him from bending backward), and when he is a little too quick throwing his head back (he usually ends up laying on his back when this happens).

Fortunately, these moments are more amusing than anything and we usually hear him giggling when they happen. The only exception being when I am holding him as there have been a few times when I have been startled or he has been startled or both. That usually leads to a look of “what the heck just happened” or “what are you doing daddy? I’m trying to drink here!” Sometimes some pointed baby babble follows. 

But, as time goes on and he continues to grow faster than we anticipated, he keeps getting better at these rudimentary tasks. Thankfully, he is a quick learner and many of the instances mentioned above only happened a handful of times, all with slight variations mind you. Soon these moments will be a thing of the past but I will still wonder how fast he can shotgun his sippy cup (I’m pretty sure a milk bong will work too).

The Last Words Of The Seder

This was the first time we saw the Jaffe Gate in Jerusalem in June 2009. 

The Passover holiday seems to have snuck up on me this year. We have yet to find a synagogue near us and I haven’t been on Facebook much lately so my awareness of the Jewish calendar is sorely lacking as of late. It is a process at times to keep track of everything and the last month it has been hard to keep track of anything except what needs to be done in the moment. It is almost antithetical to that which we celebrate during this holiday as we look to both the past and the future. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the holiday, here is a great summary from Chabad.org:

After many decades of slavery to the Egyptian pharaohs, during which time the Israelites were subjected to backbreaking labor and unbearable horrors, G‑d saw the people’s distress and sent Moses to Pharaoh with a message: “Send forth My people, so that they may serve Me.” But despite numerous warnings, Pharaoh refused to heed G‑d’s command. G‑d then sent upon Egypt ten devastating plagues, afflicting them and destroying everything from their livestock to their crops.

At the stroke of midnight of 15 Nissan in the year 2448 from creation (1313 BCE), G‑d visited the last of the ten plagues on the Egyptians, killing all their firstborn. While doing so, G‑d spared the Children of Israel, “passing over” their homes—hence the name of the holiday. Pharaoh’s resistance was broken, and he virtually chased his former slaves out of the land. The Israelites left in such a hurry, in fact, that the bread they baked as provisions for the way did not have time to rise. Six hundred thousand adult males, plus many more women and children, left Egypt on that day, and began the trek to Mount Sinai and their birth as G‑d’s chosen people.

However, what really makes me wonder and forces me to think is the line with which we end the seder… “Next Year In Jerusalem!” Not only does it make me reflect on the story itself but also my own journey through life and it makes me wonder how things would have been different had we stayed, even just a little bit longer, in Jerusalem. And when I think of this I can’t help but hope that one day we will be able to share our love for Israel with our son. We want him to know the land, the people, the history, the meaning, and the heart of Israel. So, maybe, next year in Jerusalem.

TMI Tuesday: Finding EVERYTHING on the floor!

Even before our son began crawling he would find the most minuscule piece of trash, hair, dust, crumb, lint, or string hiding in the carpet around him. Now that he is mobile and crawling at a clip that would impress even the most hard-nosed drill sergeant, he is finding more and more nearly imperceptible things within the field of carpet throughout the first floor of our house. It is actually quite impressive the amount of things that he has been able to find and also rather annoying since we have to keep a constant eye on anything that may seem out of the ordinary in the beige and brown floor.

Thankfully his toys keep him occupied more often than not and he tends to ignore many of the small pieces that we are able to quickly pick up behind him. Although there have been moments when I have contemplated putting some kind of shammy on this hands and letting him loose in the kitchen. He would probably have fun with it but I think it is a little too early and there might be something in the child labor laws about it. However, I think with his OCD tendencies he might do that all by himself when he gets a little older.

While we don’t keep a spotless house, and we probably never will, we do keep track of what could possibly be hiding in the fibers across the floor and in the kitchen around his highchair. We know where the possible discoveries are and we make sure to sweep, Swiffer, and vacuum enough to keep him from ingesting something we don’t want him to. On the other hand, the harmless things we don’t give much attention as he does have to learn every now and again that something, while perfectly safe, doesn’t taste very good.

And this is a lesson that he is quickly learning especially when he spends some time in the yard. Not only do leaves leave a bad taste in your mouth but they can also stick to the roof of your mouth even worse than peanut butter… something we avoid bringing into the house until we get some additional testing done. Now, fully mobile, he finds everything and he tries to eat everything which is proving to be humorous at times but, more than anything, a very tiring and challenging daily routine. And it is only going to become a bigger challenge when we start some of the improvement projects over the summer.

TMI Tuesday: Long Weekend

When I got the call from my wife on Thursday afternoon it seemed like everything was under control, worrisome but under control. As the end of the day approached, we knew that the situation wasn’t as clear cut as we once thought and so, as I previously wrote, I made the arrangements to hand everything off at lodge and made my way home as soon as possible. That was only the beginning. It has been a long few days with little sleep at night and too many hours of worrying during the day.

On Thursday, my wife arrived at the daycare to pick up our son not knowing what she was walking into. Almost immediately, the staff pulled her aside to show he some hives that had popped up on our son’s back and diaper area. Without hesitation, my wife called the pediatrician and had an appointment for early that evening. It didn’t look to be serious (reaction to the medication he was on) during the checkup and, instructions and new prescription in hand, she brought our son home to get some rest. By the time I walked in the door, things had progressively gotten worse but in so much as was to be expected based on the information she was given.

When we checked on him that night we knew that something was definitely wrong and we weren’t about to wait until the morning to see a doctor so we took him to the emergency room at three in the morning. A few hours later we had a slightly different plan in place to get everything under control and, after putting our son down for a nap, I headed off to work for the day. I was able to spend some time with my son when I got home but he was soon in bed trying to fight whatever was causing his issues. While there was some progress during the day something was still off by the time the sun went down.

Again, we checked on him around midnight and, after consulting with the pediatrician’s office over the phone, brought him back to the emergency room where his treatment was adjusted. By this point the medical chaos was taking a toll on all of us and we headed back to see the doctor on Saturday morning to have our son checked again. Having slept for most of the day, we were surprised when our son willingly went to bed at his usual time on Saturday night and while the evening was by no means normal, we did avoid a third trip to the hospital.

By Sunday morning, our son was no longer himself at all. He was definitely still uncomfortable from the hives/rash and now, as he began to swell, we could tell that he was in pain and wasn’t able to move around normally. With these changes we once again sought the advice of the pediatrician with little change to his treatment. By the time we woke him up that evening we knew that it was going to be another long night in the emergency room.

Thankfully, we got the information that we needed and the right routine put in place after hours upon hours of waiting and numerous tests performed on our poor baby. In the end, it is nothing that will impact him long term but the recovery is going to be much longer than we originally anticipated... around 6 weeks. This is definitely something that will require some adjustment over the next several weeks but it was certainly a relief that there is an end to this illness.

While we have had some trying times since our son’s birth dealing with minor health occurrences, this experience was really the first time when I felt the full range of emotions. There were moments when I was angry, scared, exhausted, and happy but the most prevalent feeling was that of helplessness. I pleaded and prayed on countless occasions that this wouldn’t be anything serious and that our baby boy would feel better. I couldn’t do anything but try to comfort him and be there for my family… it just didn’t seem like I was doing enough no matter what I did.

We are all recovering now but it is a weekend that is etched in my mind. While I know that it is unavoidable and that I have to come to terms with the fact that I can’t control certain situations I hope that our son never has to be in that situation again and I hope that my wife and I never have to feel so helpless again. But, for now, we are going to focus on recovering and making sure that our son continues to know that we are always there for him.

Family First

I left the office with plenty of time to get to the lodge and meet with a few of the brothers before the meeting. This is nothing out of the normal except this time I knew when I got in the car that I wasn’t going to be able to stay for long. Because of some other unavoidable occurrence the only thing that I had time for on Thursday night was to check the mail and hand everything off to my assistant for the night. It is an odd feeling every time that I have had to do this and especially since this is the first time that I would be missing multiple meetings in a single year. However, in the end, the brethren understand that family has to come first.

It is during these moments, above all others, that I am glad that I have an assistant that I can count on to take over and whom I trust with the various duties during the meeting. Each time that I have had to leave early for personal reasons I was able to hand everything off, run through the agenda, and get out the door to see to other obligations. At no time have I wondered if something was taken care of in my absences. The past couple of years in particular, knowing that I can count on this brother for the information that I need has been an invaluable resource and I greatly appreciate the assistance of my former mentee.

With that said, I have made it a point to follow up the following day to see what I missed and if there were any action items that I needed to address. More accurately, see what action items I needed to address. Each time that I have made that call I was given a clear rundown of what was accomplished the night before and what I can expect in the weeks to follow. This makes the following meeting that much easier.

I hate missing any night at the lodge but especially a stated meeting. But, as I stated above and as we all hold close to our hearts, family must come first and I have never received any push back for having to miss a meeting for this reason. And each time that I have made the decision to forego the evening gathering, especially this past meeting, I have been glad that I made the right decision. The brethren rely on me to assistance here and there for the tasks that fall under my purview and occasionally for general council but my family needs me during difficult times.

Business Trip Recovery

One of the most difficult aspects of a business trip is the recovery afterward. Not only is it the work projects that, for the most part, were put on hold during my time out of the office but, more importantly, it is about making up the time with family and returning to our usual routine. No matter what I have tried it has yet to be made any easier.

What didn’t help this time around was the fact that I few down to Atlanta over the weekend not feeling well and after a few days of early mornings and late nights, I was really feeling like ‘crap on toast’ upon my return. Further complicating the matter was the fact that I had a lodge meeting on the schedule for the evening following my return and there was no possibility of staying home from work that day either. And because that wasn’t enough, both my wife and son were fighting off something.

Just one of these things would have kinked the works enough to make the simple task of getting work done even more difficult but having everything descend upon me all at one time has made the day less than fun. Makes me wish that I had caught up on everything else, the multitude of open projects, prior to my departure. I guess this is just one of those instances when you just put your head down and work until you can’t work anymore.

It really is astounding how much things have changed over the last few years. Walking out the door has become harder and harder with every tear and disappointed look on my son’s face and knowing that there is the possibility that I might miss something while I am gone is nearly an unbearable feeling to hold in throughout the day. And while I know that I am forgiven soon after returning home, the sadness that I have caused during the week is something that I wish I could take back.

Thankfully, this last trip concludes the bulk of my business travel for the year with only a few quick day trips that could pop up during the remainder of the year. I am hoping that my son will better understand the situation next year and that I might be able to have my family join me in the future. It would further complicate the travel but a complication that I welcome.