Planning The Fall Schedule

Somehow the summer has already disappeared and we find ourselves on the brink of autumn. Now that September has started it is time to take a look at the fall schedule and, hopefully, make sense of the chaos that is my calendar. It is a process that has become increasingly important over the past few years but most especially the last couple of years. After all, I need to make sure that the balance remains in the small blocks that rigidly grid the paper.

While there are always a few things that I know fill some week nights, there is a surprising amount of other plans and activities that we already have in place. Actually, our plans begin right away with the schedule full until early next week. When I finally took a look this morning (and again this evening) at all of the items that needed to be included and scheduled, I was surprised to find such a long list. It is almost as if these events had been horded for the first eight months and now I am finally able to sort through them.

In addition to the usual lodge commitments and holidays, there are a few new things that have been added this year. First and foremost are the various Sons of the American Revolution meetings and events. This is followed by the various house projects that will be taking place over the next couple or few months. Finally, there are numerous family events that we are planning to attend which have to be included in our seasonal plans. These will certainly be welcomed respites from the chaos that is our calendar.

This is the plan that we have in place heading into the new season but we also begin this new month knowing that things will most definitely change. Some plans will stick, some will move. Some of the changes will be our choice while other alterations to the schedule will be completely out of our control. All we can really do is plan and hope for the best.

There have already been so many plans made and so many changes take place in our schedule this year that it would be nice to return to some regularity but it really isn’t expected at this point. However, there are a few events, a few brief windows in the schedule, that should hold and, thankfully, those are the things of which we are most looking forward. As for everything else, we will just have to wait and see and hope that the only thing that changes is the season.

Mortgage Monday: Not Recommended

There used to be plants there...

One of the many projects that we have checked off our list so far this summer has been to get some basic landscaping done. Nothing complicated or expensive. Basically, all we needed to do was to remove the plants around the house, side and back, and replace with grass or some means of drainage. Again, simple is better and what we really wanted to accomplish was to minimize maintenance while avoiding future potential problems.

After going through the usual process and receiving a few quotes, some in writing and some over the phone, I decided to hire a local landscaper who came well recommended. Everything was falling into place and we agreed upon the work that needed to be done. The whole process was going smoothly… at least until they showed up and actually started working.

Well, it was bound to happen. Our luck has been too good with contractors, service companies, sales people, and other transactions lately. Someone was bound to foul up at some point and last week we had a “winner”.

I took the time in the early morning to give a final review of the tasks that needed to be accomplished for the day… this was a one day project. When I left for work that morning I felt pretty good about what I would find when I came home that evening. After multiple phone calls throughout the day and seeing what still needed to be done when I pulled into the driveway that night, that level of comfort had completely disappeared... the work was going to take an extra day and the work that had been completed was not of the quality that we were expecting (I'm not sure that they are familiar with the concept of parallel lines). 

In reviewing the footage from our security system, speaking with my wife, and watching a little as they got started the next morning it was clear that this was nothing more than a paycheck for them. Now I completely understand that they need to make a living but that doesn’t mean that short cuts should be taken or they should provide substandard work simply so they could get to the next job that much faster. It was actually to the point that I had them remove some work and change things up on the second morning as I had little confidence in what they would end up producing.

Thankfully, we have a contractor that we trust and that will fix the errors left behind. But it is safe to say that we will not be hiring this company again for some of the future projects that we will be having done in the yard. At this point I’m just glad that I hired someone else to take down the trees around the property because these guys, based on the work that I did have them do, might have taken out the house, or at least the shed or gazebo, in the process. At the very least, I know they wouldn’t have done the excellent job that Monster Tree Service did a couple of weeks ago (I highly recommend this company). I think I will stick with the people I trust for now.

TMI Tuesday: Who Knew Cleaning Was So Much Fun

Our Son's New Toy!

My wife and I entered the childcare search with a little trepidation not really knowing how to approach the process. We have already found a great daycare in the area but there are times when we would like to get out for the evening or have someone at the house when either the daycare is closed or when our son is home sick. While we know that our family is there whenever we need them, we can’t expect them to make the long drive out to us all of the time. We also have a number of people that we know in closer proximity but that is where the allergy part of the equation comes into play… our home needs to remain free of cats (and their dander), nuts, and shellfish.

In the responses that we received through Care.com there were a number of them that pretty much disqualified themselves simply in how they responded to our posting. Some didn’t bother reading what we had written (to the point of addressing their communication to some other name entirely), others had no business in childcare, a few wanted us to pay them for dropping our son off at their house, and others touted their love of animals of all kinds (see the first noted disqualifier). As for the other, thankfully, my wife’s background has been tremendously helpful in weeding out some of the “candidates”.

It took some time but finally we came across someone with a background that we were looking for, the clearances we were requiring, and a personality that matched well with our family. Despite our son’s grumpy sleepiness, this initial impression was proven correct when we met with her last week. As a bonus, she was also willing to take on the chore of cleaning our home on a weekly basis eliminating our need to conduct a second search. Sometimes things seem to just fall into place.

Not wanting to waste any time, and also wanting to get a handle on the cleaning, we had her start this past weekend to see how she would interact without our son and how our son would interact with her. After only a few minutes it was as if they had known one another all along and our son even “helped” her clean a little following close behind with a duster double checking her work and pushing his “vacuum” back and forth across the play room taking care all of the spots she missed. More importantly, he was comfortable having her around and the two of them played and read together for much of the morning which allowed my wife and I to take care of some organizing around the kitchen.

It took some time to find someone but sometimes you have to wait for the right opportunity to come about to find that perfect fit for your family. Fortunately, I also had a copy of his baby book on hand to get her up to speed! Looks like things may work out and we should have some time for ourselves moving forward and a clean house every week which will allow us to spend more quality time with our little boy on the weekends. And that is well worth the extra expense of having someone come in once a week.

A means to get the care giver up to speed!

Back To Bala: A Rotary Recap

Me with President George Hatzfeld.
Another memory captured by Richard M. Trivane,
President Elect of the Rotary Club of Bala Cynwyd - Narberth. 

It is hard to believe that it has already been over a year since I was last at Aldar Bistro in Bala Cynwyd. It was a drive full of memories as I made my way into town and almost all of those excellent meetings rushed back as soon as I walked through the doors of the restaurant. Actually, many of those remembrances came to me when I was greeted in the parking lot by the restaurant manager who, somehow, still remembered me after all this time. It had been too long and it was great to reconnect with many of the people whom I used to see every week and also speak with a number of people whom I was meeting for the first time.

The purpose of my return has been long overdue and required some time to arrange my calendar. I was asked several months ago to come back as a speaker/presenter but given my schedule it has been difficult to find a Wednesday that worked. But, I was finally back at a meeting and, per a request from the club, ready to talk about a passion that has occupied much of my time over the past few years… genealogy.

While presentations are usually about 30 minutes in length, the minutes seemed like seconds as I gave an overview of my journey of discovering my Revolutionary War ancestor and my recent acceptance into the Sons of the American Revolution. I reviewed not just what is required regarding proof but also some of the challenges that I have faced along the way especially given the fact that Native American genealogy has its own set of challenges (particularly in the Commonwealth of Virginia). Not surprisingly, especially for those who know me, by the time I got around to answering questions nearly 45 minutes had passed.

Having been away from the podium for so long it was a great feeling when the presentation when so smoothly and I was able to keep the attention of those in attendance. And the questions that were posed afterward were both thoughtful and showed a deep interest of those in attendance of the work that it takes to prove ones lineage through the centuries. It is good to know that I still have some, albeit limited, ability to offer a compelling presentation.

Another pleasant surprise during this gathering was the fact that the incoming club president purchased 15 copies of my book about my experiences with Rotary. It seems as though both my presentation and my book struck a chord with him and the club. Now, I have to make a more concerted effort to return to the club in the near future and not allow my absence to grow so long. And, of course, I will have to figure out what my topic will be the next time around as well but I am sure that I will have some help with that from those I met yesterday.

Saying Goodbye To The Jeep

March 2016: Jeep at the scene of the accident. 

Once I heard back from the repair shop following my first accident this past March stating that the Jeep was going to be repaired my wife and I had an important decision to make. With the frame having been bent in the accident (and now having to be bent back) were we comfortable driving and riding in the car? More importantly, did we trust the car enough to have our son in it? In the end, it wasn’t the same car and we no longer had the confidence in the vehicle to continue using it as my daily driver (especially on those days when I have my son in the back).

While we knew that it would be a costly decision, we decided to start looking for a replacement vehicle (a process that I have written about before). The Jeep was a great car so that is exactly where I started my search. I went online and priced out the 2016 version of the exact make and model of my car. Once I input that information I added the features that I wanted in the new car to see where the price would fall. Seeing a replacement price within inches of $40,000 I quickly questioned whether I would be buying another Jeep. So, given the new price point, I searched for a few other options.

June 2015: The day I bought the Jeep. 

With a full roster of cars on my list (a compilation I never thought I would pull together in my lifetime) we dedicated a weekend to hopping from dealer to dealer looking at all the options that I had uncovered and determining whether or not there was any wiggle room beyond the USAA price. A few cars were eliminated because of the lack of fit and finish while others were great cars but simply not the right one for me. In the end, I had to decide between the Jeep Cherokee Trailhawk and the car that I picked up today the Mercedes Benz GLC 300 4Matic.

May 2016: The Mercedes replaces the Jeep.

Once everything was factored in including price of the car, the options that I wanted, the interest rate on a loan, the cost of insurance, fuel economy, and other numerous factors the Mercedes just made much more sense. Believe me, I was shocked by this revelation too. While there are certain trade offs between the two (i.e. off road capabilities vs. highway comfort), I am completely happy with the decision that we made. On top of all this, in a bit of creative financing, we actually traded in my wife’s car and leased a GLA 250 4Matic with all the options that she wanted on the car. In the end, we both ended up in new cars and, considering all financial commitments before and after, pretty much broke even financially.

All that is left now, besides enjoying our new vehicles, is to complete the insurance claims which should, to put it nicely, be the most ‘interesting’ part of the whole process. We also still have to come to terms with the simple fact that we are both driving Mercedes which, at the very least, is one of the more surreal feelings that we have encountered in a long time. Just add one more thing to the list of changes over the past couple of years.

Next Book Projects

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the books I was finally able to complete this year and get into print. Still don’t know how I was able to do it but I got it done. However, those books are only the beginning of what I plan on being a very busy year of publishing. Unfortunately, those four books were the first to be completed because they were the easiest to get done. I only have one more ‘easy’ book to get done and that has been delayed in editing for the past month because of a variety of events that have conspired against me sitting down at the computer and proof reading.

The next book, the one that is in process right now, is another fun one that really is a snapshot of a time in my life when I was finally able to connect with my community. “Once A Rotarian, Always A Rotarian” is a collection of posts about some of the speakers I met, events I attended, and other thoughts about being a Rotarian. The lessons from which I still carry with me to this day even though my participation has been lacking over the last couple of years.

Follow the completion of that book, I will begin working on my collection about my first three years as a Mason. Again, this is a book dedicated to one aspect of my life that has profoundly changed me for the better. The working title for this book is “Three Years After Three Degrees: How Freemasonry Made Me A Better Man”. I guess we will just have to see if that title sticks and how exactly I want to arrange the essays (that could be the most time consuming part).

Another book I guess you could say is in progress would be the children’s book that I am working on. The text is done… it is a very short picture book so that didn’t take much time at all especially considering the fact that I wrote it nearly a decade ago. However, I still have to conduct the input and supervise the creation of the illustrations for the book. That will definitely be a first for me. This one might be the book that I am most excited and nervous about finally seeing in print.

From there my attention will be focused on creating an adult picture book as there are numerous essays from my travels (especially across Pennsylvania and Virginia) and hundreds of pictures that I have selected to accompany those words. There is a bit of editing that needs to be done to the text but the photos are pretty much ready to go. However, in the end, if there is a book pushed back it might be this one simply based on the cost of production and eventual cover price.

Lastly, the year wouldn’t be complete unless I took some time to annoy some people which is why I am going to pull together all of the ‘polarizing’ posts into a single collection. I also expect this to be the longest book of the year coming in between 400-500 pages. That is a lot of politics and firearms. While I am fairly certain how to organize the book, I am still at a complete loss for a title so, at this point, I invite you to submit your idea. The prize pack includes recognition for your contribution in the acknowledgements of the book as well as a free signed copy once I have it in hand. So, ready through the posts on this blog that fit the subject matter and let me know what you come up with.

So, four books done, two in process, and three more planned for the year. Well, that is at least the plan at the moment. If life continues in the same manner that it has over the past month, I might be lucky to get one or two more out. If things calm down, I should be able to have nine books in print by the end of the year. And, if it turns out to be particularly cold down south this year and I am able to find some time, I might just get some more done. No pressure!

Guest Post: Why Traveling is an Essential Element of Storytelling

I have two books published and one in my laptop waiting. I have traveled throughout the Caribbean to more than 20 islands and more than 15 states including Hawaii’s five main islands with more to come as I’m making plans to travel to Oregon, Washington state and Alaska by next summer. When I am traveling I always have my mind’s eye open to the possibility of a future story or book to write. I have found that, while traveling, it is important to pay attention to your surroundings and even to your dreams at night. When you wake up write your dreams down. That dream may be about some place that you had seen during the day. It could lead to a book one day as two of my books came from dreams. Dreams are short most of the time but you can expand them. Keep your mind working in overtime all the time even around your hometown… it could be more interesting than you realize.

When I was in Puerto Rico my wife and I visited the El Morro Fortress in San Juan. It was built in 1584 to protect the city from pirates and even during World War Two it was used to watch for German ships and U-boats. I went in all the hallways and rooms where men slept and lived. I saw where they cared for the wounded. I looked out over the Caribbean and could see in my mind the men going around the fort preparing for battle. The cannons being readied and the bugle being blown to alert the men that battle was close and the proud flag flying overhead. Then there was the rain forest in Puerto Rico. I could see rebels or pirates cutting their way through the lush thick forest and hair raising times crossing the rivers with hundred foot waterfalls that could be the end of them.

In Cozumel, Mexico we went to the Milan ruins and I could see in my mind the tribes sacrificing people to their Gods and where they married each other. One idea is to take your camera and have it ready to take pictures. This is a great way to bring back details to your memory; I always have mine ready. Anywhere you go you might get a picture of an animal, birds, or even an Iguana that you can insert in a story. The Hawaiian Islands were great fodder for story ideas. The volcanos and sacrificing virgins to the Gods. The beaches with the pipe-line and the North Shore have so many stories within them. Then there is Pearl Harbor and the many stories about World War Two and the sacrifice men and women made.

Then traveling through New Mexico and Arizona the desert and mountains bring to mind all the old west stories of gold and silver mines and the men and women that help develop those states before moving on to Colorado and California. These are my kinds of books but you might have a different interest. It can all be awaken in your mind by traveling and opening your mind’s eye. Good luck where ever you go and in finding your story or book. Remember, keep your mind active and don’t forget the dreams. 

Lynn Luick is from Texas but was born in Oregon. He has a wife, two daughters and three grandchildren. He loves nature and traveling. He has been working for 50 years - first in a grocery store and then his own distributing business - to raise his family. He has always wanted to write but was too busy to do so. Now that he has retired, he has plenty of time to do what he loves. He will be traveling and writing more "Silver Buck" adventures and also other Western titles. He loves to write fiction stories about places he has been.

A More Complicated Petition

Well, it should be no surprise to anyone who read my post yesterday that I didn’t make it to the lode last night as I was recovering from my second serious car accident in the past ten days. However, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been working on a few things for the lodge. In fact, I have been working on a rather interesting petition as of late that has been an ongoing project since the last stated meeting. While most petitions are pretty straightforward, this one in particular has had a number of details that have made it a great learning process both for the petitioner and also for me.

The situation is rather simple in that the candidate already petitioned another lodge which presented said petition at their last stated meeting. Following dinner last month at my lodge, he expressed a desire to join our lodge which is more convenient for a multitude of reasons. Following that meeting and after confirming his intentions, I circled back with the original lodge in possession of his petition. This is when things really got interesting as having not found myself in this position previously, I made sure to copy both District Deputy Grand Masters. After all, I always want to make sure that decisions such as this are by the book and as transparent as possible.  

Fast forward and I now find myself in a friendly back and forth trying to confirm many of the details of the process and double checking the conclusions with both my District Deputy Grand Master and the petitioner. It has been a process to say the least but it has also been a great learning experience and we will have a solution to the situation in short order now that the broad strokes have been taken care of. However, the most important thing that I have made sure not to lose sight of is the simple fact that a good man has shown a desire to become a mason.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter where he receives his degrees (although I have my preferences), the important things is that the fraternity is gaining a solid member. Too often lodges lose sight of this fact and focus on what is best for their lodge. While the betterment of your home lodge is hugely important, we can all agree on that fact, the growth of our fraternity, of Freemasonry as a whole, needs to take precedence. We have to keep in mind what is best for the brotherhood and for the man who desires to become a brother. If we do right by these two, things have a way of coming back to us both as a lodge and as a mason. We must do what is right.

Sunday Search: Pulling Together My Own Story

Whenever the topic of family history enters the discussion we are always talking about the past… when we came over, who fought in what war, interesting occupations, etc. Anyone interested in genealogy is familiar with the cadence of these conversations and knows that it doesn’t take long before a common thread is discovered between two families… although sometimes it is also interesting to discuss the differences. We, as family historians, are always digging into the past to try and find those additional details that have previously eluded us or find new information seemingly lost to the family for generations.

That seems to be the pattern and the routine with which we are intimately familiar. However, while this may be the bulk of our research, there are other areas of family history that are too often overlooked. The first is something that I have written about before which is to talk to those relatives who are still with us and learn what you can about what they know about the family as well as learning about their own life. We spend all this time trying to fill in gaps and too often the generations that are still with us are overlooked and, when they are gone, we will be back at the beginning trying to put the pieces together.

This covers the vast majority of the family history but there are still pieces that are usually left in the box. Our own lives, while not as interesting to us as the lives we have spent so many hours dissecting, are also an important part of the family tree. Since we are cognizant of the process and the details that are so important to the complete pictures of generations, we are in a position to ensure that our generation is represented. For me, part of my story is in the pages of this blog but that is only a recent snapshot with occasional glimpses into my own past.

We have a duty to our own family and to future generations to ensure that all the stories are told, across the generations, including our own. It may seem self-centered or even egotistical and pretentious to some but this is not something that we do to brag about this or that, it is a means to keep a complete history of the family. So, the next time you sit down to explore a few more data bases, take a few minutes and write down a couple of facts about your own life and, when you get a chance, write down questions that you can send to your siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, etc. Before you know it, you will have a pretty long list to include in the annals of your own research.

Firearms Friday: Safe Hunting

Finding a safe can be a difficult and expensive proposition. While I currently own two safes that provide adequate security for my current needs they are by no means the best option for me. That and I don’t really have any room for the future. The need for a new safe is there but that presents a whole new set of questions…

• How big do I make it?
• What will fit through the door?
• What am I going to store in it besides firearms?
• What level of quality do I want?
• Where am I going to put it?
• How much do I spend?

And that is just a list of the initial questions before delving into the details. Once you start answering the questions above a whole new list of questions begin flooding the decision making process:

• What fire rating do I want?
• How thick do I want the steel?
• What kind of lock?
• If I get a bigger one, am I okay in having delivered in sections?
• Do I want sensors?
• Should I get a prefabricated interior?
• How many doors?
• How much should I spend on extras?

Again, this is just the initial list of questions following some relatively simple answers to the first set of specifications. The further you get into the process the more questions begin popping up and with every new answer there are a few more dollars added to the bottom line. The more you go through this process and really think about your current and future needs the more frustrated you get when looking at the safes ready for sale in stores. While the quality overall is pretty darn good pretty much across the board, you aren’t really going to get everything you want when you go with a mass produced model. Well, that is at least true for me.

The problem is that to really get what you want, there is a very steep price to be paid. At least that is what I thought when I was initially going through this process and I had nearly given up and conceded to an off the shelf model when I came across a company called the Sportsman Steel Safe Company. I can’t remember how I found the website but I am glad that I found it. So, with criteria in hand, I gave them a call and walked through the production, warranty, process, and pricing. In the end, for the same price as something off the floor from the local Cabela’s with half the features I wanted, I was able to custom build exactly what I wanted with a few other upgrades thrown in for far less than a retail ready model (it ends up being only a little less once delivery and install are factored in).

So, the safe is on order and now we have to wait a while for the production. In the meantime, I will make do with what I have and figure out how the current safes will continue their service once the new one arrives. I will definitely be writing about the whole process and the finished product in the future but so far so good.

Mortgage Monday: The Beginning

It is time for a new series… having purchased and moved into our new home last week I thought it appropriate to write a post every Monday about being a new homeowner. While the topics may vary these blogs will all be rooted in our recent purchase, the process, and some of the things that happen along the way. I will be writing about the services we use, experiences we have had, or simply how much things have changed in comparison to our years (and year) or renting. It is certainly a change for us but a great one that I want to share with all of you that continue to read these posts.

The process of finding a home was a long one to say the least. As I have written about numerous times before, this has been a dream of ours for years (certainly preceding the formation of this blog) and a search that has taken us to numerous places throughout the area, into other states, and even to a foreign country. While our criteria has changed since our first discussion about what we wanted our home to be, we currently find ourselves in the perfect place at the perfect time. Finally, we have a place to set our roots and a place where we can raise our son.

Looking back there are certainly things that we would have liked to have changed along the way. Even recently, it took a deal falling through on inspections in order for us to find our perfect home but, as we have been told many times before and as we keep telling ourselves, things happen for a reason. However, while we are happy with this wonderful change and becoming homeowners, my wife and I definitely agree and wish that this whole process had gone differently. Our ability to find a home came at a price that we were forced to pay and we know that we would give this all back if a refund were offered.

Look for more posts in the future that will get into some of the additional details about the process and some of the experiences that we have along the way both good and bad (hopefully there will be an absence of content for the latter). But, for now, we are going to enjoy this new way of living and the additional comfort and security that owning a home has to offer to us. And, of course, some stories about the adjustments that we are all making to this new reality.

Thy Will Be Done!

Before our son was born my wife and I had the conversation that we should really consider getting a basic will put together. It is a subject that has come up from time over the past year but there was always something that would come up to take our attention away from what needed to be done. Finally, at the last stated meeting, I was able to pull one of the brothers aside, who happens to be an estate attorney, and got his contact information. Again, it was a very simple will that we were looking for but something that we now, finally, had the time and opportunity to complete.

The impetus for getting this done really had nothing to do with our financial situation or the possibility of us owning a home in the near future. The motivation was much simpler, we want to make sure, should anything happen to us, that our son would be taken care of by those people that we believe would raise him right and would have his best interests in mind. That is really what we wanted to legally put in place leaving no question as to where he would go and who would take care of him.

The process was actually much easier than we were anticipating as my masonic brother was able to pull everything together in less than a week following my email to him with all the information (names, addresses, special requests, etc.) that were required for these basic drafts. Actually, we had two wills drawn up, one for me and one for my wife. Each mirrored the other as we have been in agreement ass to the contents from the beginning. The only difference being that, motivated by previous discussions at the lodge, I specifically requested a masonic service.

Given how easy it was, the fantastic rate which we were charged, and the simple fact that this brother will go above and beyond to assist us and offer us advice, I have already recommended is services many times over to both friends and family. So now the next stop is to the safe deposit box so that we will not have to worry about misplacing the originals. And I must say that it feels great to have this important document now completed and the worry about what we hope will never happen has now substantially subsided. We are now at ease knowing that, should something happen, our son will be taken care of and will be raised the right way.

House Hunting Update

Since my wife and I first started looking at houses (both online and in person) we have seen all different kinds of properties. Actually, maybe not all different kinds but a diverse range of quality, various prices (all within our pre-qualified range), and built at different times. It has been an experience and an education throughout. While there are a few things that now have on our checklist when walking through a property, I will say that this process has been a heck of a lot easier having a great realtor working for us (who just so happens to also be a brother).   

I guess the first thing that has been driven home again and again for us is that price doesn’t mean quality. Some of the houses that we walked through which were at the top of our range had some great features but there were a number of things that left a lot to be desired. At the same time, those houses well below our max budget may not have had some of the fantastic features but they were generally solid all around. So far all a higher price has meant is that the highlights will be there but they will also accentuate the shortfalls.

In many of those instances with the higher priced homes the biggest issue was found in the basement. This is why you must always look in the basement and study the walls of the foundation and the structure surrounding you in all six directions. There were a few houses that we considered putting offers in after having walked through the house but that thought quickly evaporated once we saw the large cracks and chunks missing from the foundation walls (and these houses were only 10-15 years old).

It just goes to show that you have to always look beyond the façade. Not considering the basic structure and foundation of the house but also looking past unfortunate paint selections and minor things that can be fixed within a couple hours over the weekend. While the former will prevent you from making the mistake of buying, the latter may prevent you from making the mistake of walking away.

However, the most important thing that we are constantly reminding ourselves during this long process is that just because it is a nice property doesn’t mean it is the right house for us. We have seen many properties both physically and virtually that would be great fits for people we know but they would never be something that we could call home. It is a long process that requires patience and persistence. And, in the end, I keep saying to myself that right now these are just houses. When we find the right one and move in then it will be a home.

Sunday Search: Unintentional Intentional Errors

Every once in a while I will receive a message through my Ancestry.com account regarding some of the information in my family tree. Sometimes it is about documents, photos, or certain details that I have discovered elsewhere and uploaded to the website which I am happy to share and discuss with anyone who contacts me… you never know how you might be related. However, most of the time, the questions and corrections are regarding the very tips of the limbs that I have yet to fully research. In these instances I reply letting them know that the research has yet to be done and the information is stemming from scant documents that have been uncovered. This is usually followed by an invitation to share any information they might have on that individual or, as has been the case a few times, the correct name that should inscribed on that leaf.

This all comes down to how each of us use Ancestry as a genealogical research tool. While many people refuse to enter information in to their tree until they have verified the content, I prefer to use the website to both record known facts and figures but also theorize as to those names that may consist of the next generation. Sometimes it can be stemming from information culled from documents and other times it is a much more general estimation given the age of children, where subsequent generations lived, and sometimes the information that has been passed down in the family.

Even the most basic of estimations have sometimes led to the information that I have been looking for. Many times I have entered the surname and approximate year of birth to find only a handful of possible people who could fit into my tree. After looking at all the records available, I was able to not only find the right name but verify that, yes, they are my ancestor. All it takes is that small detail and a little bit of deduction in order to begin chipping away at that wall. This is the process that has worked for me and has kept me somewhat organized in my research thought process over the years.

Of course, with this being my process it leaves a number of assumptions wilting under the sun on the end of the branch until I am able to make the time to prune them but I know that the information is there and I don’t have to worry about retracing some of my steps over and over again when I find the rare moments to search for that next generation. Again, while not a process for everyone, it is the one that has worked best for me so far. Now if I could only be so organized with all the photos, documents, and notes cluttering my office.

Searching For The Home Amongst The Houses

Sometimes I wonder when we will finally have a quiet weekend when we can simply enjoy the time at home or we can drive somewhere without having a particular schedule in mind. I guess we have to have the weekends like this one in order to finally achieve that kind of relaxation. Today was another one of those days when the miles seem a little longer and the properties don’t look quite as good as the pictures. My wife and I agree that this might be the worst part of moving… trying to find that right place. This is about as far from a relaxing weekend as we could get at this point.

It is both a stressful and an exciting time for us as we look for a place where we can finally let our roots grow rather than restrained in a rental pot. We have seen a long list of places, some better than others, all with something that we really like and all with faults of varying degrees. While in the past we have settled for a place to live, some better than others but all that met our needs at the time, now we are in a completely different situation, now we are looking for a home not just a place to live.

Obviously, just the noise in our own minds processing all we are seeing with each property is contrary to the concept of a quiet weekend. Actually, the uncertainty of finding a permanent place has increasingly impeded this simple request to have peace between the work weeks. But I am looking forward to settling down and enjoying the fact that we have a place where we can watch our son grow up… we will have a home not just a roof and walls… something that we have been searching for over the past several years.

Now is obviously not the time for the quiet weekends. Now is the time to do what we can to ensure that we have those quiet weekends in the future. Those free spaces in life when we can enjoy time together without the stresses and distractions of the work week. Now is the time to ensure that those moments highlight our lives tied together with the consistency of place. No, we don’t have the time for quiet weekends right now but weekends like this ensure that we soon will.

Sunday Search: Rediscovering What Was Already Discovered

The early days... it was easy to keep organize with few files. 

My wife and I decided to dedicate this weekend to cleaning and our son finally let us get the much needed work done around the house. With the washing machine humming, sloshing, and twirling in the background, we went from room to room cleaning, organizing, sorting, and packing. It took the entire weekend to get most of the house done and by the time my wife went to bed on Sunday night the only two rooms remaining were our offices. This is a wholly different task altogether as we both have more paperwork than storage space and more books than shelves. It is going to be interesting but hugely satisfying when it is done.

With my wife and son asleep, I ventured down into the basement and began sifting through the rows upon rows of shelves. I went down there with the goal of filling one box of books that had little value to me at this moment. As someone who enjoys information and having resources readily available, this is not a very easy process… many of the books that I have collected over the years are those that contain information that has yet to be digitized. Contrary to what some people say, not everything can be found on the internet. After about 30 minutes, I actually was able to fill a box and clear a shelf for the binders of new research that was going to be added. It came down to a small sampling of books that I know I can find again when I have the space.

Once this part was done, I began flipping through the binders on the shelves and files stored in boxes. It really is amazing what you can find when you it down and sift through the boxes in your office… this is especially true when it comes to genealogy. While slowly flipping through the pages and pages of notes and photocopies, I rediscovered small details that I had written on a pieces of paper while pouring through volumes and volumes of material. They are the small details (like the fact that my great grandparents were brought together by their love of horses) that I had forgotten almost as quickly as I was able to record them.

It is the dilemma of disorganization. While many of the documents and facts have been sorted and organized for later, many of these details seem to get lost in the pages. At the same time, rediscovering these details was just as interesting as when I first read them. It was nice to feel that same way about finding ‘new’ information and it makes me wonder what other documents I have buried (most likely from a scanning / photocopying marathon). With the rest of the house in order, I am glad that I am now in a position to take on this task… at least until the files get moved again.

From Home To House

Today I couldn’t help but think about my grandmom’s old house in Ocean City, New Jersey. I remember visiting her multiple times every summer and, on occasion, staying in the extra bedroom. When time came to sell the house, I remember not wanting to even drive by there anymore. It wasn’t the same without her there. It was nothing more than a simple structure. The memories are what made a special place.

While today was a completely different situation altogether, I couldn’t keep that memory from coming to the surface. I also couldn’t help but think about the many times my wife and I would drive up the hill to her mother’s house and begin walking down the path waiting for the dogs to start barking. It is interesting the memories that are the most vivid. Of course there are others but some memories need to be kept inside for a while before sharing them as stories.  

This was just my thought process. Throughout my work day I kept thinking about my wife and all that she has had to deal with over these last several months. I can’t imagine what was going through my wife’s mind today. It is one of those times when saying “I know how it feels” or “I know what you are going through” would be wildly inappropriate. I have no idea what this has been like and I have no inkling of what memories have been brought to the surface today.

The only think that I know is that a place that was once part of our normal weekly routine has become a memory. What made that place special lives on in our minds but, for me, the place itself is now just a house. Maybe this seems cold to some but it is how I deal with it. It is a process that works for me regardless of how imperfect it may be. It is also one that I can’t expect will work for others. This is why I will not drive by the house just for the heck of it.

With that said, I look at that house in my mind and wish that our son was able to experience the same happiness that once filled the vast space within those walls. However, those memories will certainly live on in the stories that we will be telling our son throughout his life. But, for now, those memories will remain in my mind as we continue through this whole process. Besides, I’m not the right person to be telling him those stories anyway.

Firearms Friday: The Calm Of Cleaning

As I have written before in the past, I am not a fan of cleaning. It is definitely not a secret. I like having a clean and organized space but I could do without the process by which that is achieved. I know for certain that I am not the only one that feels this way but, like many things, there are always exceptions.

I have found that there are many people like myself that dislike cleaning in general but actually enjoy the act of cleaning when it comes to firearms. You would be amazed, well at least those of you unfamiliar with this set of tools, at how many cleaning products the average gun owner has at their workbench or in their cleaning kit. There seems to be a solution for ever kind of grime, a brush for every surface, and a new product coming out every few months that is supposed to make the process easier.

While I have limited the supplies that I have and use on a regular basis every once in a while I will try something new. While those solvents and cleaning tools are fine for a little while I find myself reverting back to the old way of doing things. It is a time consuming process no matter how you approach it but it is one of those things that lets you just tune things out for a few minutes. No other form of cleaning has the same effect.

Maybe it is the detailed work that is involved in making sure every corner is cleaned. Maybe it is the importance of making sure that everything functions properly. Maybe it is the appreciation for the engineering, design, and overall beauty of the workmanship as the carbon is removed. I actually think it is a little bit of each of those things.

And I know that I am not the only one. I have had this discussion many times over with people I know are not the tidiest human beings but their firearms are impeccable. It is one of the oddities that is within many of us. I guess it is similar to the person that frequently washes and polishes their car but that could care less if the dishes are piled up in the sink. I am sure that there are other examples but that is the one that comes to mind and that seems to most closely parallel.

Of course, I have also seen those people who just don’t clean anything or actually have the opposite situation… they keep everything in their world neat and organized but they never clean their firearm. I have seen many accidents and witnessed beautiful pieces of engineering ruined by this neglect. In the end, there are some cleaning projects that can be put off and there are others that can’t be postponed.

Maybe the enjoyment that many of us have in the process of cleaning will slowly grow and include many other aspects of our daily lives. You never know, it could happen. Until then, I will just focus on the small things and continue looking forward to the end results of others to motivate myself in getting it all done even if it is sporadic at times.

The Lost Genealogy Show

In a recent discussion on LinkedIn there was another genealogy program brought to my attention. After reading the back and forth around the pros and cons of the mainstream programs (i.e. Who Do You Think You Are, Finding Your Roots, and Genealogy Roadshow) I was interested to watch the YouTube video to see if this program did a better job especially with regard to process. Honestly, my expectations were not very high as I have seen numerous attempts at programs online but I figured that I would give it a shot.

While the intro to “Legend Seekers” leaves a little something to be desired the program itself is excellent. It is kind of the best of all worlds in that it is not reliant upon celebrity and it does not overburden itself with trying to take too broad a view of a family tree. Rather, the focus of the program is on a singular event in the family tree of a regular family. It is the kind of thing that all of us immersed in our own family history do on a regular basis just in a more condensed and presentable format.

While there is a lot that is left on the floor with regard to the process, there is still much more information regarding the resources that are available for people to conduct their own research and to whom they can turn to find the information that they are seeking. There are also tips and additional information to assist the viewer in their own search particularly regarding Census records and the wealth that can be found in cemeteries. While many of us who have been doing this for a while know this information it is always worth being reminded and it is of huge value to those who may just be getting started.

The program also shows the slight bumps and detours that we all run into. However, similar to mine and many other experiences that I have read, persistence can sometimes pay off as it did in the search for the Lively family in this episode. This is both an interesting and motivating program for those who are interested in researching their own family.

With all of that said, I do have one rather large problem with the program… this is the only episode that was made due to the lack of funding and not having been picked up for a full season. There are so many stories out there in every family that it would be great to see the stories that, for the most part, remain untold. Heck, I can think of a half dozen in my own family (a few of which I have mentioned on this blog) that I would like to see produced in this manner. Hopefully, sometime in the future, the show will return and give us a better example of what the real process is like… I would much rather spend the time watching more episodes of this rather than the aforementioned mainstream programs.

Changes, Space, And A New Routine

One of the worst things about moving, besides the actual labor involved in cleaning, moving, and reorganizing all of our stuff, is making sure that every person, place, organization, association, company, magazine, retailer, credit card company, etc. has our new address. Today I finally changed the last item that I could think of by logging on to the DMV website and making the update. I also managed to adjust my signature on my private email account which I seldom use for outgoing correspondences. With that being said, the marathon of phone calls, logins, and returned letters is probably not over as I am certain that there is at least one or two or more things that have slipped my mind.

Now that we have been in the new place for a little while we are also starting to get our routine down especially in the morning. To say that things are easier than they were at the apartment would be an understatement. While we are still trying to get ready at the same time, there is a lot more space so that we can both get ready rather than taking turns and making one another late every morning. The evening is also more relaxing as I can walk in the door and have the space to put everything down without having to maneuver around my wife as I shuffle through a galley kitchen.

Even the commute, which has proven to be shorter and much more reliable even with the ice, snow, and cold lately, is becoming more routine as my muscle memory is not trying to take me onto a highway that would point me in the wrong direction. It has been more relaxing as well with the steady flow of traffic and minimal merging necessary to get to and from the office. Even the drive from the lodge hasn’t been much longer as there are few traffic signals that I need to traverse during this new routine drive.

After all of the change and chaos that has and continues to dominate our lives, it is nice to have things settle down a little bit and give us some regularity to our days. This is what we have been needing for some time and the space (both inside our home and in the general area) has kept at least some of the stress at bay. Hopefully this continues and will continue to keep us level as the due date approaches. I’m just glad that this is the place that he will first call home rather than the cramp confines of our previous dwelling. Until then I am going to continue enjoying the new routine.