Seeing Faces To Forget

Throughout this season there have been too many gifts to specifically remember any individual surprise. Actually, this year has been full of generosity from friends, family, and coworkers alike. It has been at times overwhelming but appreciated each end every time that an unexpected box or envelope has been put in our hands. However, since I have written about the many gifts that we received earlier in the year, I will stick with those that we have gotten over the last month or two… basically during the holiday season.

Hanukkah was early this year and it was fun surprising both our son and my wife with gifts for each night… and then some. What I got in return was better than anything that I handed out as the faces that they made were something that I am already looking forward to seeing again next year. However, my wife and I agreed, long before the holiday and prior to settlement on the house, that my gift was a new set of office furniture. Of course, my wife also got me a cordless drill during the holiday which I didn’t expect. All of these things I am going to use for years so I pretty much made out like a bandit.

Toward the end of the month I received my preferred gift, a few times over in fact, of a gift card to a few places that I can make that money stretch as far as possible. In all, between friends, family, and coworkers, we probably received close to $200 in plastic. This was on top of the small gifts and has nothing to do with the horde that our son received. Although he probably would have been just as happy with the boxes and tissue paper. More about that later.

However, like the reactions I received from my wife and son, the best part of the holiday season has been the looks on people’s faces when I hand them an unexpected box or envelope. Many of the brothers at the lodge seemed to refuse reality, my coworkers were shocked, and family members were surprised. For me this is what the holiday season is about regardless of your faith. It has been a great season and a difficult one at the same time but seeing those glimpses of joy allow me to focus only on what is good and happy about this time of year.   

It’s Official, We’re Exotic Now!

Maybe this is what we will put on the doors next year...

One of the interesting things that we are finding in the new area where we have chosen to live is the fact that there are very few Jews around us. It actually made finding the house during Hanukkah really easy because all someone had to do was look for the only house on the street with a Menorah (Hanukiah technically) in the window. Although, you might be a little confused if you walk up to our door as there is a wreath decorated with mini Magen David on it (thanks mom). Of course, we knew what we were getting into when we decided to move out here so the fact that we are clearly in the minority really doesn’t bother us.

It is actually kind of interesting when I think about the different places we have lived. In Jerusalem it was assumed that we were Jewish and, most of the time, the same can be said about our time in Brooklyn. In Bala Cynwyd we were members of a clear majority in the area and in Metuchen and Chesterbrook we were part of a pretty even mix. Even in Chester Springs there were a number of Hanukkah houses around us but, at that point, the percentage was pretty low. Now, we are one of very few families in the area with a Mezuzah on the doorpost.

We are so far removed from the Jewish communities that our son’s daycare asked us to come in and talk about Hanukkah. Being such a small minority it is pretty safe to say that we are no longer seen as simply Jewish but as some exotic family… and we are fine, and entertained, by that fact. So far, those with whom I have spoken to in the area, especially this time of year, have sincere questions about our faith and hang on to every word in our responses. And this is without us talking about the fact that we are Israeli too.

Obviously, there are other Jews in the area but it has been entertaining thus far being the token Jews in the neighborhood. And as we try to find a local synagogue in the area (local meaning 20+ minutes away) I am curious to see if others have had the same experience. But, what has been important to us here is that our beliefs are ancillary to people getting to know us… the only reason the subject came up was because of the time of year. While being a Jew is an important part of us it is not the only thing that defines us and here we are finding that to be how people look at us.

TMI Tuesday: Thank You Daddy!

A few months back while spending the day with our friends for their son’s birthday party, our son found one the toys in their house to be greatly entertaining. It was a stationary car that allowed him to sit on the floor and play with all the buttons, steering wheel, and the other odds and ends that are included on it. He must have spent close to an hour that afternoon entertaining himself while the rest of us ate lunch and caught up in our conversations. It didn’t take long before my wife and I realized that was going to be one of his Hanukkah gifts this year.

A couple of weeks ago, before we moved, I got really lucky and found the same car, the only difference was that it was in blue not red, on sale on Amazon. I think it only took me about 10 or 15 seconds from the time I saw it until I had the order placed. A few days later it arrived in an abnormally large box at my office. There it stayed until we got settled in to our new home which, at that point, I moved it into the office closet one night while our son was asleep.

Yesterday, having taken the day off from work, the box finally emerged and while our son was excited enough about the big box he was going to be able to play with, once we were able to put the car together his face lit up as he seemingly recognized the toy that he had enjoyed previously. Just like the first time he saw it, once my wife and I put him in the car he spend at least an hour playing with all the buttons and features occasionally glancing up at the two of us and smiling.

After a while he decided he was done and wanted to squirm around on the floor and play with mommy and daddy. This is not a surprise as any parent will tell you that it doesn’t matter how much they like a toy they are going to get bored with it after a while. What we didn’t expect was for our son to come after me kissing me, smiling, laughing, and seemingly thanking me for a toy that he really wanted. It was one of the most adorable 10 minutes that I have ever spent with our son and something that I was both not expecting and will never forget. I just feel bad that he didn’t do the same for his mommy.

Prayers, Candles, and Presents

A couple of nights ago we started Hanukkah a little early. Over the last month we had bought a few too many toys for our son so we figured we would begin part of the evening routine a couple of days prior. He didn’t really know what to make of it but he was happy with what we got him and seeing that smile made the few extra dollars seem like the bargain of the century. After all, this is his first Hanukkah and we want to make it a little more special so we have tried to make it as fun as possible while setting the ground work for a new holiday tradition.

We are starting this tradition as a family… just the three of us this year. Throughout the weekend, my wife and I made enough brisket to last for the eight nights and we made sure, beginning tonight, to light the candles with the proper blessings. It is only after the candles are lit, which our son seems to enjoy in and of itself, when we go back into the office closet and pull out the next toy for our son to play with. Reading the transliteration in front of our son know that, at one point I could read the Hebrew, reignited my desire to learn this beautiful language.

There is something calming about slowing down for a few moments, reading the prayers, and carefully lighting each candle. It really allows all three of us to just be in the moment while we enjoy our faith as a family. This followed by the happiness in our son’s face as he played with the toys (and the boxes that they came in) are really what makes this a special time of year and I look forward to sharing with him more and more about the holiday and the significance that it holds.

Of course, there is also another fun part of the evening as I was able to hide the small gifts that I have been accumulating over the past several weeks from my wife. Well, most of them are small. While the vast majority were clearance finds or daily deals, I was also able to find something that I had been meaning to get for her for some time now. Thankfully the camera that I was looking at went on sale and I was able to stay within budget. So now, each night, we will have images to accompany our memories and, most importantly, I might have made up, at least a little bit, for my mistakes during her birthday.

And now, with the candles having long since faded, and my wife and son sleeping, I am sitting here writing this and looking forward to the rest of the Hanukkah holiday. I am so glad that we are able to have this experience throughout the week and I can’t wait to see the smiles every evening. And, just think, it only gets better from here.

Reversing the Flow of Packages

While I have received a number of packages from Amazon and other retailers (i.e. Allen Edmonds) lately, I have also been sending a lot of packages out as well. In fact, I have been sending out more packages and items overall than I have been receiving. In addition to the returns process (which has been pretty good despite what some have said about Amazon customer service) because of clothes being absurdly smaller than that which is stated on the tag and overall descriptions not quite matching up with what I received, I have also been collecting the unused items, unwatched DVDs, and unplayed video games from around the house and selling them to Amazon for credit.

At this point I think we have gotten rid of about five or six moving boxes worth of stuff that, in the future, I won’t have to haul from place to place, store here or there, and open and close trying to find that one misplaced item. Putting in the time and selling these items now is saving us a lot of time in the future and putting a little bit of credit in our account as well. Of course, that credit did lead to some of the aforementioned returns so really it is just a vicious cycle. But at least shipping is free across the board.

That credit has also served to help us get a head start on buying some of the Hanukkah gifts for our son. Nothing big but some toys that we have been eyeing since we either saw them in a store or at someone else’s home. However, while we have gotten a bit of a jumpstart on our holiday buying (definitely not the first time we have been in this situation) it has also introduced another issue. Remember that vicious cycle I mentioned earlier. Well, we may have gotten rid of a lot of stuff but we also have a lot of stuff coming in which is currently stacked in a few boxes along the back wall of my office.

It is actually a pretty eclectic pile as there are toys, home upgrades, gifts for family members, shoes, and a completely overhauled wardrobe. And those are just the things that I can remember or see when I glance over. Thankfully, the pile is a bit deceiving as the packaging takes up a bulk of the space, the clothes are replacing ones that I have already donated, and the gifts will be handed out in about a month so it really isn’t that bad and we are still saving space. Of course, I don’t expect this to last and I am sure I will find myself writing about this again like I am doing now and I have done in the past. But, until then, we will certainly enjoy a little extra space.

Why This Day?

Like most religious holidays, especially ones that have become a piece of commercialized pop culture, it is interesting to look at the roots of the Christmas holiday and basically how it came to fall on this particular day in December. It seems that almost from the very beginning, the selection of this date has been a marketing play to ensure the success of the holiday and the spread of the religion. And you can’t really blame the early church for doing this because of the simple fact that it works. This theory is summarized on Wikipedia in the follow passage:

One theory to explain the choice of 25 December for the celebration of the birth of Jesus is that the purpose was to Christianize the pagan festival in Rome of the Dies Natalis Solis Invicti means "the birthday of the Unconquered Sun", a festival inaugurated by the Roman emperor Aurelian (270–275) to celebrate the sun god and celebrated at the winter solstice, 25 December. According to this theory, during the reign of the emperor Constantine, Christian writers assimilated this feast as the birthday of Jesus, associating him with the 'sun of righteousness' mentioned in Malachi 4:2 (Sol Iustitiae).

An explicit expression of this theory appears in an annotation of uncertain date added to a manuscript of a work by 12th-century Syrian bishop Jacob Bar-Salibi. The scribe who added it wrote: "It was a custom of the Pagans to celebrate on the same 25 December the birthday of the Sun, at which they kindled lights in token of festivity. In these solemnities and revelries the Christians also took part. Accordingly when the doctors of the Church perceived that the Christians had a leaning to this festival, they took counsel and resolved that the true Nativity should be solemnised on that day." This idea became popular especially in the 18th and 19th centuries.

It is interesting in the origins and evolution of the holiday that the, for lack of a better term, mood of the holiday has changed so drastically back and forth over the centuries. What was once a means of celebration to rival that of a pagan holiday transformed into a day of reverential awe. Now we find ourselves, regardless of our own particular faith, surrounded by the sights and sounds of the season which are downright joyous. And while it is no longer my holiday of choice the messages of peace, love, family, appreciation, and joy are universal and should be embraced by all. And for everything else there is always Festivus!

A Season Of Fellowship

I was one of the last to leave the office last night having to make a top at the apartment before heading off to Ardmore for the evening. Thankfully, it was the last day in the office for the week before the holiday and I would be able to make up for the few minute that I lost when I headed out the door. With a fair amount of things still left in our previous dwelling, I found the time to pack a few more boxes and get the mail before pulling out of the lot.

Just two days before Christmas and I found myself at the lodge waiting for some other brothers to arrive. While it wasn’t an inconvenience for me (even though Hanukkah was coming to an end), I anticipated that the holiday would decrease attendance pretty significantly for the night. Just as I realized that I had misplaced my set of keys for the new place, my fellow brothers began to arrive.

My mind was in a few places and I was trying to text and talk at the same time but we still managed to establish a plan for the evening and by the time everything began to settle down, everyone was where they needed to be working on the degrees that they were required to study. Even with the rush of the holiday season around us, there were a number of committed brothers who made their way to the lodge last night.

Again, this is very different than that of the previous year as I don’t recall the same participation from the brethren this close to the end of the year. There is not just a dedication that can be seen in many of the new brethren but a true desire to learn about the fraternity from their fellow brothers. While we don’t always have the answers for them, they are still asking the questions and pursuing the answers to deepen their own knowledge. I am excited to see what comes about from this thirst for more light.

Once this surprisingly satisfying evening drew to a close, I made my way, for the first time, back to the townhouse after lodge. While a longer drive than what I have become accustom, it was a relaxing commute that allowed me just the right amount of time to reflect on the night. I guess this is just another reason why this move and my decision to remain committed to my lodge (rather than transferring to one closer to home) was a great decision.

Time To Eat The Donuts!

Now that we are in the midst of the Hanukkah holiday, Jews around the world are lighting their menorahs and stuffing their faces with latkes (potato pancakes) and Sufganiyah (jelly donuts). I might be doing the same if I had planned ahead a little better. Oh well, there is always next year.

Over the past few weeks I have been packing as many boxes and bins as I could in the little free time that I have had. One of the many things that has long since disappeared is the menorah that we have lit the past couple of years. While I could rummage around in the tightly organized containers, there is even less time available and too much more that has to be done between now and our move.

So this year is going to be chalked up as a moment of transition in our lives (like we needed something else to carry that moniker). Maybe we need to take the holiday off this time around and start fresh with our son next winter. So while we do not have the hanukkiah out right now, we already have a place picked out in our new home. Maybe we will even have the time to light some candles toward the end of the holiday.

But there is much more to Hanukkah than lighting candles and eating carbs. At its core, Hanukkah “celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, of purity over adulteration, of spirituality over materiality.” Those of you who might be brothers will see many parallels to this in Freemasonry. In fact, it summarizes quite nicely the core of masonic teachings. This of course is in addition to our teaching new masons about the construction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.

However, I digress. The story of Hanukkah, which can be found on Chabad.org, is as follows:

More than twenty-one centuries ago, the Holy Land was ruled by the Seleucids (Syrian-Greeks), who sought to forcefully Hellenize the people of Israel. Against all odds, a small band of faithful Jews defeated one of the mightiest armies on earth, drove the Greeks from the land, reclaimed the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and rededicated it to the service of G-d.

When they sought to light the Temple's menorah (the seven branched candelabrum), they found only a single cruse of olive oil that had escaped contamination by the Greeks; miraculously, the one-day supply burned for eight days, until new oil could be prepared under conditions of ritual purity.

To commemorate and publicize these miracles, the sages instituted the festival of Chanukah. At the heart of the festival is the nightly menorah (candelabrum) lighting: a single flame on the first night, two on the second evening, and so on till the eighth night of Chanukah, when all eight lights are kindled.

It is the holiday of miracles and morality, dedication and determination, holiness and humility. It is during these eight nights that we stand in awe of the gifts that abound around us and thank G-d for everything that we have been given. This year, we have a lot to be thankful for and I look forward to sharing this holiday with my son next year.

Hope You Are All Enjoying The Winter/Spring Holidays

When I woke up this morning the bedroom seemed a little is warmer than usual. Being that it is the first day of winter, the window was open, and the heat not yet turned on this should not have been the case. In a day more indicative of spring the temperature today reached the 60’s for the first time in a while. I can’t remember the last time that it has been this warm so late in the year. As you have probably already figured out by now, the snow that that blanketed the greater Philadelphia area about 2 weeks ago is now is tatters with only a few miniscule piles remaining in the corners of the parking lot.

So, as the temperature continues to warm, it is supposed to hit near 70 tomorrow, the natural thing to do is to wrap gifts in preparation for the family day in the middle of the week. For those of you dreaming of a white Christmas this year, you are pretty much SOL. You will just have to settle for the time with family, the time off from work (thank you to those whose jobs require you to work on the holiday), and the hours upon hours of “Small World” syndrome inducing music, and, I have to admit, some darn funny movies.

It’s an interesting time of year for me. Growing up, this was the only holiday that I knew and I have many great memories of spending time with family, opening gifts, and making the wine disappear from my glass before dinner. Maybe that last one wasn’t really great at the time but it is funny in hind sight. Those memories, and the spirit of the holiday that is still on full display every year still instills a fondness for this time of year for me. Even though it is no longer my holiday, it is still a great time to spend time with family and to see the happiness not only in my nieces and nephews but also my parents. Seeing that look in the faces of my family is what makes this a happy holiday.

I consider myself very lucky because I am able to experience the holiday happiness much more frequently than most people. I can see the joy in my family members during the Christian holidays and I can feel the joy during the Jewish holidays. Okay, maybe not all of them as some are not really known as “happy” holidays. So many of the holidays throughout the year have meaning to me for different reasons. It has taken me a long time to come to the realization but just because it may not be your holiday, it doesn’t mean you can appreciate the spirit of the holiday. And, of course, you should enjoy all of the amusing pictures and jokes that seem to be a natural byproduct of any celebratory time of year.

Happy Holidays!

Changing Things Up For The Holiday

It was an odd feeling today not going to work today. The past couple of years have always been ones that I knew I would have to be working in order to get the holiday pay. This year it was a great feeling to be back on a salary system. It was nice to get up and out of the apartment knowing that we could be out all day and not have to worry about getting back for a shift. Today made it clear how important it is to have the day off in order to really relax and enjoy the time with family.

While we changed up the usual annual plans, it was a good day all around and one that carried some extra importance as was mentioned in my previous post. Although, I admit it was a strange feeling knowing that I had gifts for my wife for Thanksgiving. Nothing much but still not something I am used to.

There were great moments during the holiday including some texts from my coworkers who seemed to be having a good time cleaning their plates. There were also some moments that I could have done without including a particular “conversation” with my mother-in-law that required some firm language and a courtesy warning for the future. Lastly, toward the end of the night, we heard that my nephew, who we usually see during the holiday, was looking for me all night. I kind of wish we were there for him.

But, good and bad, it was nice to change things up this year. It is a different year to begin with and one that has seen a lot of changes in our lives so why should this holiday be any different. While we have been thankful in the past it would take us a few extra seconds to pinpoint our gratitude. This year we have plenty to be thankful for and much to look forward to in the year to come. Maybe not as much as the friends on Facebook who have announced their pregnancy but great things to come nevertheless.

By the time we got home tonight I was exhausted. Actually, I was yawning for about half the drive back. So, I am going to close this post rather quickly and get to bed. No shopping for me this year just a slow trip to bed and a night full of snoring and not working while I enjoy being full, grateful, and hopeful for the future.

Giving Thanks On Hanukkah

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah (or Chanukah) and, appropriately, it corresponds neatly with the Thanksgiving holiday here in the US. Both are times when we celebrate miracles whether it is for the oil which lit the reclaimed temple for eight days rather than one or the everyday miracles that we experience. We should be thankful for all these things.

Take advantage of this rare overlap and be thankful for the opportunity to experience this historic day. Because the Jewish calendar is a lunar calendar, as opposed to the familiar solar-based Gregorian calendar, these two holidays will not coincide again until the year 79,811. I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure I’m going to miss that one.

While many of you are familiar with the gluttonous holiday of Thanksgiving, I wanted to take a minute to relay the story of Hanukkah as a bit of a reminder. There is more to it than Adam Sandler’s songs and movie. The following is the concise (which is why I’m not going to try and rewrite it) outline of the minor holiday:  

Chanukah -- the eight-day festival of light that begins on the eve of the 25th of the Jewish month of Kislev -- celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, of purity over adulteration, of spirituality over materiality.

More than twenty-one centuries ago, the Holy Land was ruled by the Seleucids (Syrian-Greeks), who sought to forcefully Hellenize the people of Israel. Against all odds, a small band of faithful Jews defeated one of the mightiest armies on earth, drove the Greeks from the land, reclaimed the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and rededicated it to the service of G-d.

When they sought to light the Temple's menorah (the seven branched candelabrum), they found only a single cruse of olive oil that had escaped contamination by the Greeks; miraculously, the one-day supply burned for eight days, until new oil could be prepared under conditions of ritual purity.

To commemorate and publicize these miracles, the sages instituted the festival of Chanukah. At the heart of the festival is the nightly menorah (candelabrum) lighting: a single flame on the first night, two on the second evening, and so on till the eighth night of Chanukah, when all eight lights are kindled.

On Chanukah we also add the Hallel and Al HaNissim in our daily prayers to offer praise and thanksgiving to G-d for "delivering the strong into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few... the wicked into the hands of the righteous."

Chanukah customs include eating foods fried in oil -- latkes (potato pancakes) and sufganiot (doughnuts); playing with the dreidel (a spinning top on which are inscribed the Hebrew letters nun, gimmel, hei and shin, an acronym for Nes Gadol Hayah Sham, "a great miracle happened there"); and the giving of Chanukah gelt, gifts of money, to children.

Click here for the complete story of Chanukah, and here for a comprehensive "How To" guide for the observances and customs of Chanukah.

Today is a day for celebration and family (and food). Be thankful for the things and people in your life for they are not guaranteed to be there forever. Be thankful for your faith and your heritage because for as long as you are thankful you will not forget. Memories and appreciation can quickly fade if you let them like the candles slowly burning down and dripping subtle reminders below its branches. Show your appreciation this holiday and embrace the opportunity that this time of year affords us.

 

 

A Little Too Early!

Two days from tonight we will all, at least those of us in the US, will be sitting down for Thanksgiving Dinner. After stuffing our faces many of us will be heading home on the slow sleepy drive back home while others will roll themselves into the adjacent room, beach themselves on the couch, and go to sleep. It is a great day to spend with family without the obligation or expectation of gifts, it’s simply a time to get together and give thanks for what you have and the people around you (at least most of them).

At the tail end of the day, with only a couple/few hours until the calendar page is turned, stores will be opening their doors to throngs of people looking for the best deal of the year (until it hits the clearance rack) and the cheapest gifts possible for the impending gift giving season. Every family has that one person who goes to the Black Friday sales (or whatever you call the Thursday openings) and I will admit it that I am no stranger to the chaos although I have never waited in line to get into a store.

I can understand the need for a good deal and with Thanksgiving over it is natural for retailers to capitalize on the next big holiday on the horizon… Christmas. However, Black Friday does not mark the debut of the decorations, displays, cards, or freaking music. All of that holiday gaudiness begins creeping out right after Halloween.

At this point, I am pretty sick of it. It is too much, too soon, and it has to stop. Growing up I loved the Christmas season and I recall the sights, sounds, and music immediately surrounding the big day. Immediately surrounding, not the surrounding months. What has happened over the years?

While it is not my chosen celebration in my adult life, it is still a season that surrounds us. The message is positive and people are generally in a good mood but let’s stop trying to extend the season every year. Let’s go back to simple way that it should be and start all of the extravagance just after Thanksgiving. Actually, start it on Thanksgiving as it used to be. When Santa comes down the street on the float, the holiday season has officially begun.

So, sit back and enjoy the holiday season. Enjoy the fact that you are allowed to blame the dog for your farts for an entire month. Embrace the gifting ability to pick favorites in the family without saying a word. Reminisce about the days when Chevy Chase was funny and watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (snicker, snicker, snicker).

And, finally, enjoy your one day late in the year… long after we celebrated our eight days of Hanukkah (we will be celebrating while you are just starting your shopping). You might have missed the beginning since we don’t have a lot of songs to mark the holiday because we were too busy writing Christmas songs. By the way… O J Simpson, still not a Jew.