Setting Aside Networking Time

Every day I try to set aside about 15 minutes simply to send out a few emails or make a couple of calls to people that I have met recently or to reconnect with those that I haven’t spoken to in some time. This is both something that I enjoy doing but also part of my job as networking is essential to my line of work. Investing that nominal amount of time each day is well worth the effort and has proven to be hugely beneficial over the years both personally and professionally.

However, there are a few things that I have found to be essential to this outreach over the years. The first being that you cannot be selling when trying to open or reopen communications with someone. I have fallen into this trap a few times in my life when trying my hand at various occupations related to sales. That being said, I have never claimed to be a salesperson and never will claim to have the skill set necessary for success in that line of work. But it is an aspect that I am still well aware of in my current outreach as I prefer to focus on getting to know people rather than trying to get business from them or persuade them to attend an event.

The second essential aspect to effective outreach for me has been to forego social media. While these sites have undoubtedly proven useful in making the basic connections with people and to learn a little bit about them, they should not be used as a means of communication. Personal emails are much more effective in opening up a dialogue but still have limits. Connecting over the phone provides a personal touch and demonstrates that you are taking the time and putting forth the effort to not just talk but to listen and learn about the other person.

The third and final piece of the puzzle is the easiest of them all… listening and learning. Don’t just blankly reach out to people; learn all you can about them before writing that email or picking up the phone. This is where social media should be leveraged. See what they have posted, liked, commented on. Find their birthday, dates of life events, work anniversary, previous places of employment. Essentially, find that commonality that you share with them and use that to start the conversation. Networking is not about business, it is about getting to know people and finding things in common with the people you know is a great way to strengthen your network.  

Finally, familiarize yourself with pictures. There have been countless occasions when I have been at business and social event when I have seen a familiar face. Many connections have started in the virtual world but, by knowing what many of my connections look like, I was able to properly introduce myself in the midst of a large crowd. Most of the time, this is what truly separates you from the countless other connections that someone has made in the virtual world. In the end, never forget the importance of meeting someone face to face… networking can only survive and thrive in the real world.

The Progress Is Palpable

With a full notices comes a busy meeting and our stated meeting this month certainly lived up to that. It was a long night, both the meeting itself and the conversations after, but there was a heck of a lot accomplished during the night. It actually made me wish that I had been in attendance last month as there is a palpable difference in the way that the meeting flowed from beginning to end. This year is certainly a welcomed change and I am looking forward to many of the issues that we faced in the past to completely evaporate.

The evening was also full of information of which I was previously unaware. I knew about many of the items discussed but there are always details that are absent from discussions that happen outside of the meetings. Actually, I am not really used to this being the case. Many times, I am the one with the details which usually leads to the dozens of brief conversations before and after the sound of the gavel.

It was obvious that there are things that we still need to work on with regard to the memorization and actual mechanics but there was a huge amount of progress that was on display for both the other members of the lodge as well as a roster of guests in attendance. It is a testament to the work and outright effort that has been put forth by many of the officers between the meetings and I am looking forward to seeing and experiencing the progression of ritual throughout the year.

For the first time in a while, I found myself interested again in learning more about the lodge and some of the other offices… I can only sit as Secretary for so long before I want to start progressing through the chairs and I might as well be prepared for when the time comes because I don’t want to have to cram in order to move throughout the lodge room. And I also know that my memory is not my strength so it might take a while to get everything down cold or at least good enough to pass. But, for now, I have a job to do.

For a while I was filling in some of the holes in the East and, honestly, it really tired me out. The last couple of months have remained hectic but in a completely different way as there have been brethren removing the weight on my shoulders and bags from my eyes. If anything, the way we have started the year has served us well as it immediately brought us together to square everything back to level. There is still work to be done but we are all pulling in the same direction and we are slowly gaining ground.

Mortgage Monday: Directions

We have yet to find the roads like the ones we found exploring in Virginia. 

Every time that my wife and I have moved it has taken us a while to get our bearings. Generally speaking, when we have moved to a new place we have known one or two ways to get to certain places while there were other destinations that remained a complete mystery as to what roads we needed to take. This inevitably led to studying various maps of the area just to figure out a few roads that took us to places where we could figure things out from there. Having been looking in our current area for the past two years and driving around on the roads from time to time since our first visit, this map studying was less of a factor than it had been in the past.

However, there are still plenty of places where we drive that it is nearly essential to pull up the directions on the cell phone and, as we proved this past week, we are still not confident in our navigation to simply just get in the car and drive. When driving to my sister’s house last week, I knew how to get there but having never taken this particular way in the past, the landmarks were unfamiliar and some of the route numbers weren’t as clearly marked as I would have liked. Driving back was an entirely different story altogether as the way with which I was familiar was nearly unmarked and we found ourselves pulling over and pulling out the cell phone.

While we can manage to get to most places without much forethought, they are still the rudimentary ways of getting from point A to point B. The next step for us (and my wife is well ahead of me on this one) is to find the back roads that cut out the truck traffic and long lights. For me, that has always been the best sign regarding my comfort level with a particular place and how well we know the area. That being said, I still stink with giving directions as I am more of just knowing where to turn rather than recalling the specific street names.

There are a lot of pleasant roads around where we live and there are countless little shortcuts that we have yet to discover. For me, this is one of the fun parts about moving is being able to explore without ever being too far from home. The difference this time around is that the vast majority of these routes are nearly empty with the exception of the occasional car or buggy compared to the previous places we have lived when we would spend more time waiting at lights, pausing at stop signs, and following the slowly moving out of state cars. Now I can keep a steady pace and relax as the landscape rolls by the windows.

Sometimes fog hinders our ability to explore.

It’s Official, We’re Exotic Now!

Maybe this is what we will put on the doors next year...

One of the interesting things that we are finding in the new area where we have chosen to live is the fact that there are very few Jews around us. It actually made finding the house during Hanukkah really easy because all someone had to do was look for the only house on the street with a Menorah (Hanukiah technically) in the window. Although, you might be a little confused if you walk up to our door as there is a wreath decorated with mini Magen David on it (thanks mom). Of course, we knew what we were getting into when we decided to move out here so the fact that we are clearly in the minority really doesn’t bother us.

It is actually kind of interesting when I think about the different places we have lived. In Jerusalem it was assumed that we were Jewish and, most of the time, the same can be said about our time in Brooklyn. In Bala Cynwyd we were members of a clear majority in the area and in Metuchen and Chesterbrook we were part of a pretty even mix. Even in Chester Springs there were a number of Hanukkah houses around us but, at that point, the percentage was pretty low. Now, we are one of very few families in the area with a Mezuzah on the doorpost.

We are so far removed from the Jewish communities that our son’s daycare asked us to come in and talk about Hanukkah. Being such a small minority it is pretty safe to say that we are no longer seen as simply Jewish but as some exotic family… and we are fine, and entertained, by that fact. So far, those with whom I have spoken to in the area, especially this time of year, have sincere questions about our faith and hang on to every word in our responses. And this is without us talking about the fact that we are Israeli too.

Obviously, there are other Jews in the area but it has been entertaining thus far being the token Jews in the neighborhood. And as we try to find a local synagogue in the area (local meaning 20+ minutes away) I am curious to see if others have had the same experience. But, what has been important to us here is that our beliefs are ancillary to people getting to know us… the only reason the subject came up was because of the time of year. While being a Jew is an important part of us it is not the only thing that defines us and here we are finding that to be how people look at us.

I Didn’t Like Working From Home…

Every year, I am given ten work from home days to use as I see fit. However, even though I have been given the option to do so I have rarely used more than a couple out of necessity. I have never been a fan of working from home. This has not been a secret and there are a multitude of reasons for my dislike of this arrangement. What it really comes down to is the simple fact that I am not as productive at home as I am at the office. And that is all about the focus that I lack when there are so many distractions around the house.

However, in the few weeks that we have been in our new home, that stance is beginning to waver and, with the office arrangement that I have, I seem to be maintaining my focus better than I have been in the past. On some days it is even better than at the office. While I don’t believe it is one specific thing that has helped me I do know that it is a much more comfortable arrangement.

In the past, my office has either been upstairs or in the basement far removed from anything else in the house. Theoretically, this seems like a good arrangement but in reality it created, over time, an atmosphere that wasn’t conducive to getting work done. Over time I would use these spaces less and less until they eventually remained relatively unused and my laptop and work documents overtook the kitchen table. It proved to be quite the vicious cycle.

The only time that I had an office on the main floor was in our apartment in Bala Cynwyd. It actually worked well for a little while but because of the odd hours I kept, the close proximity to the bedroom which prevented me from typing too loud, and the maintenance issues that proceeded to drip all over the carpet, this too was a short lived arrangement. Of course, it also didn’t help that my wife and I shared the office space and we have completely different ways of working.

Now we have separate spaces on the main floor of the house. While there is still some work that needs to be done so that I can use the space on a more regular basis (i.e. doors put in so the sound doesn’t travel up the stairs at night and wake up our son), it is already proving to be an excellent place to get things done. I think I have completed more projects in this office over the past month than I did sitting in the basement in our last rental. So, now working from home might not be so bad which is a good thing because the roads might not be as friendly in our current location.

Last Day at Double Three

It has been quite the year and now, on my last day at double three, it is amazing how fast and slow the past twelve months have been. Every year I can’t help but ask myself whether this is where I was hoping to be at this stage in my life. There are always some great things that result in a resounding yes and there are also some things when, if I take an honest look at them, I am lead to another question asking myself why those things weren’t achieved in previous years.

This year, I am probably the most content than I have ever been. There have been some great things that have happened lately and there are things for which I am very excited on the horizon. Most importantly, I am able to celebrate my change in demographic for the first time as a father. With all of the bad things that have happened over the past year this fact, by far, outweighs all the sadness, anger, and disappointment. This present from my son is the best gift that I have ever received.

With so much having happened over the past couple of years I am thankful that I have been able to stick with this blog. Being able to revisit and remember those good moments has been a tremendous tool during the tough times. While I may have been writing the posts, the gift that my wife has given me is truly what has made this possible. She has allowed me the time and energy to focus on these words and given me the ability to remember life, in detail, no matter if it was a good day, bad day, happy or sad moment. She has given me the space and the time to continue with this project and that is a gift that I can never fully show my appreciation for.

Maybe the biggest difference between this and all previous years is that I have gained a greater appreciation for all the intricacies of life and I have been given a completely different perspective of the world. Most importantly, I have been able to really focus on what matters and not put my stock in about what other people think. I will continue to love, protect, and do what I think is best for my family… don’t get in my way. I have my views and am happy to discuss them with people but damn me for them and I will write you off. There are more important things in life to which I will continue to devote my time, attention, and energy.

This is what made this past year a good one. It could have been great had some things not happened but we can’t change that. Maybe by the time I hit the residential speed limit next year, I can look back and see that this, the year to come, was a great one. Good bye double three, I wish we had more time together but I am also glad to see you go!

More Sleep?

It used to be that I would look forward to daylight savings time either for the extra hour of sleep or the extra hour of work. Either way, the following morning was just a little bit better. This year, things are a little different. While the potential is still there for an extra hour of sleep it was really more like an extra hour to stay up and get work done. And the morning presented a new slate of issues.

A few weeks back, each of us needing a bit of a respite on the weekends, my wife and I each took a day to sleep in. After a long work week, I preferred to take Saturday morning to remain in bed until 10 while my wife took Sunday to get a little extra rest before the week got started. It is a system that should work well but there are a few hiccups along the way a big one happening this morning.

Our son has been having a few issues sleeping during the week which makes him a little extra tired over the weekend. Of course, it doesn’t help that he insists on getting up at the same time each morning no matter what time he fell asleep or if he stayed unconscious during the night. Needless to say, there were a few rough nights leading up to daylight saving time and even though the dial on my watch may have moved back, the timer in our son’s head didn’t get the memo.

By the time I got him out of bed he seemed a bit out of sorts. It may have only been an hour to many but it made a huge difference to us as we were woken up at the old time. While I always enjoyed the extra hour of rest before, I never truly appreciated that hour until this year. That is a long hour when the bonus time was used to stay awake the night before. Turns out, that wasn’t the smartest thing to do.

Of course, the true impact of the time change didn’t really hit our son until this evening when what he thought was bed time was approaching… after all the windows had been dark for a while so it must be time to sleep. That was the longest hour of the day. But there were some lessons learned and mental notes taken for next year. Maybe the same mistakes won’t happen again when we adjust the clocks in the spring.  

Not The Same

Last night I did something that I haven’t done in a long time… I stayed up to watch David Letterman. This being his last show, I wanted to see what kind of sendoff he would be given... especially the last Top 10 list. I guess you could say that curiosity got the best of me as I kept on thinking back to the night when I watched Johnny Carson sign off one last time before heading into retirement.

The evening was definitely not the same as the one I watched back in 1993. Not just in my perception and perspective but the final night had a completely different feel then that which happened 22 years ago. And that pretty much sums it up, the Carson departure was a happening while Letterman’s last night was something that happened. There were, of course, memorable moments (including an overdue (for many reasons) standing ovation for his wife and son) but it was not the same sad farewell that I remember so many years ago. However, I do prefer Foo Fighters over Bette Midler. 

With that said, I still recall many nights watching Letterman over the years. Once Carson retired, there wasn’t much of a choice for me as I was never a big fan of Leno and some of the newer hosts just didn’t catch my attention. Nothing compared to the classic Tonight Show but Letterman seemed to be the closest (albeit a tremendous departure itself) to that feel. At least that was the case years ago… since then things have most certainly changed and I have pretty much foregone  the late night shows altogether. 

Over the past 20 years Letterman and late night have changed. The politicizing dialogues / monologues that he and others have employed in recent years haven’t made me want to watch these shows. This is what truly differentiates Letterman from Carson. The Tonight Show was not a place for politics (decides a few light jabs during the opening) as Carson knew that his job was not to form public opinion or influence public policy (or the supply of toilet paper). This is why politicians were seldom seen on the set. Letterman has made his views very clear both in his monologues and in his banter with guests.

Carson was a mainstay in the media and on the television. We watched him to wind down and forget about the day. All the BS that happened during the daylight hours were put behind us as we were entertained for an hour each evening. There were other places to turn to get riled up and/or discuss politics. While he once embraced that basic concept, Letterman veered to the far left as time went on and that evening respite slowly evaporated.

The new crop of hosts seem to be turning back to that formula and reaping the benefits. This is why there are many that will continue to miss those evenings with Johnny and why Letterman’s departure seemed to be more of an inevitability rather than a surprise. Hopefully, with the last of his generation stepping down, we can continue our progression back to the way late night was supposed to be. I guess, like many things, only time will tell.

Happy Work Anniversary!

Every day when I log on to LinkedIn I see the various status updates from my connections. One that often crosses the screen is the work anniversary. A couple of years ago I missed seeing that update on my account but today that changed as it has now been exactly one year since I returned to my chosen profession.

I still remember the moment that I met my boss for the first time. There was something very different about that interview as she had a genuine interest in not only my work history but who I was and why I enjoyed working in PR. I am not your usual PR professional so being able to talk at length about what I am able to do and how I apply my trade was something that I was glad to share. It was during that interview when I realized that she was looking for something more than just an employee.

This was in stark contrast to the PR environment that I first started in while working in Manhattan. There it is commonplace for people to jump from job to job, firm to firm, just to move up and change things around. That is not what I wanted. I enjoy the profession but that part always seemed against my character. Call me old fashion but I always wanted to work at a company where I could stay for a long time.

A couple of months later, she brought me in for another interview. I still remember walking into the barren office space, announcing myself when I walked into the empty room, and finally being able to sit in the conference room and talk things over with her again. While we had only met once before, we picked up the conversation as if we had shared the same office for years.

I was excited to get started and to rejoin those who occupied the day light hours and enjoy going to the office every day to apply the skills that I have acquired over the years. This office, this company, was a fresh start for both of us and while it has been a lot of work during this past year, I have enjoyed every minute of every day (despite the occasional gripes). It is nice to once again take pride in my work and feel a sense of ownership at the end of the day.

My work anniversary coincides with the company anniversary and to see what we have all built together is something that I take great pride in. While there have been a lot of changes over the past year it is nice to have this one constant offering some stability to the craziness. The year has flown by and I am looking forward to many more years working for the same company and enjoying every day at the office.

What Do We Consider Labor?

Last year I wrote about the history of this holiday and the story behind thecreation of this holiday that we call Labor Day. I wrote that post in the early hours of the morning while working the front desk of the apartment building. The irony was clear having to work on the holiday. This year I find myself in a completely different situation with the office closed and enjoying the day with my wife. Of course, there are always things that need to be done on the computer, there are always things that I am working on, but this year I had a choice.

This year I am wondering if I am working hard enough. There seems to be times when my focus isn’t what it should be and items aren’t checked off the list as quickly as they should be. I don’t know if I am working any slower or if my expectations keep going up. Honestly, I am not sure which one it is. All I know is that I keep thinking lately about where I should be versus where I actually am right now. This is particularly odd as I feel I am in the right place but not as far along as I should be if that makes any sense. Who knows, maybe I am just impatient and expect more of myself than is possible.

But, I digress, this is a day to celebrate the contributions that people have made to this nation with their own hands and their minds as well. While many may differentiate physical and office labor they are both contributing to the success of this country. The sweat, the stress, the creativity that has changed the society in which we live is what should be honored on this day. This is not a day to celebrate the unions which too many worker have become beholden, this day should honor the strength and work ethics of the individuals.

With that said, we must remember that some don’t have the choice of whether or not to work today. From those who would be considered ‘laborers’ to those sitting behind the desk at the office trying to meet a deadline. While completely different kinds of work and vastly different pay, they are all working to keep the job they have, doing the best they can at that job, and trying to find a way to reach their goals whether it is simply to support their family, ensuring the safety of others, or something more grandiose. Everyone who is striving to make a difference in their lives and/or the lives of other through their labor should be recognized on this Labor Day.

Time To Start Cooking Again

For some time, my wife and I had gotten away from cooking but we are starting to slowly get back into it. While there have been the quick meals thrown together on a number of nights I would really call it cooking. For many, they would consider what I do multiple times a week as making dinner, some would call it cooking, I just think of it as getting things done as quickly as possible while still making it taste pretty good.

I have always been a person who would throw things together without really following a recipe (the only exceptions being when I would be backing something). Directions just slow me down and I am a firm believer that as long as you know what flavors go together and the rough proportions needed to create flavors there is no need to go step by step. Everyone has their own method of doing this and, over time, you understand approximately how much your “pinch of salt” really is and what a “single” scoop is using a regular spoon.

I guess it is just something that I have picked up over the years watching my mom put things together when she got home from work. I have tried to show my wife this method and she has watched me many times but it is not something that is picked up quickly. However, my wife, regardless of what she says, knows what she is doing in the kitchen. It is a completely different way of doing things but it works for her.

The fact that we have completely different ways of going about things in the kitchen is a great situation. While many nights I can quickly throw something together, sometimes that can leave a limited selection of options given the usual time constraints. My wife, on the other hand, is rather methodical in her approach which while it takes her a little longer to make something it gives her greater flexibility in what she can make. Essentially, she has much more patience when it comes to cooking.

Now, everything that I have just written is something that you have heard me say before but I thought it was worth repeating. So, as we return to really cooking in the kitchen and making dinner on a more regular basis, I hope to record some of the successes, and some of the less successful, dishes that we make in the coming months. Maybe this would also help with my first resolution but we will have to see. Are there any dishes/meal, especially healthy ones, that you enjoy and that you would like to see us, read about our, attempt? Let me know in the comments below.

I Know Something You Don’t Know!

No! I'm not going to outright say the cliche. Deal with it!

Today was quite the interesting day. Nothing was any different through about noon but during a meeting with my boss something interesting happened. It is something that I am not going to share at the moment but I will write about later in the month. Let’s just say that I will be able to return to a previous topic covered extensively on this blog.

My day was long but didn’t seem like it. Noon helped with that a bit but my day wasn’t dependent upon it. It is getting really busy around the office but in a really good way that makes you look forward to the next day and the following week. It drives you to get things done and see how much you can accomplish by the end of the week. I think I am a little behind this week but that could just be the particular reflection I see.

Before I knew it the day was over and I was in the car on my way to the lodge. It is Tuesday night after all and I was awake this week. That was another interesting time. It is the most future focused meeting at the lodge that I have had up to this point. It was refreshing to hear about the goals that some of the brothers have for the lodge and the building in general.

There is a lot of work that needs to be done but nothing that can’t be overcome with some thought, effort, and a significant amount of funds. I hope the money tree yields a good harvest this year. All kidding aside, if the changes are implemented correctly it would be a long term windfall unseen in this small band of brothers.

Fourteen hours after leaving for work, I pulled back into the parking lot and walked into the dark apartment with my wife sound asleep in the bedroom. While I enjoy the time we have now to talk at night it was a nice change, especially as of late, to see her peacefully sleeping. We are both overdue for some much needed rest.

So I am going to wrap this up and head to bed. While not conveyed well in this post it was an exciting day and one that you will better understand in a couple of weeks. I will just leave you with the final thought/teaser… I not only have a new job but for the first time I am feeling like an adult in the wide working world. It is amazing how two jobs in the same industry can differ so greatly. Stay tuned!