TMI Tuesday: 18 Months

A year and a half (and a day) later and we are still trying to get used to this new life. With all the changes that keep happening and all of the things swirling around in our life right now it is hard to keep track of time. Yesterday, I looked at the calendar and saw that eighteen months has already passed and it is hard to believe how different things are now compared to the life we were living before we became a family.

The day is still etched in my mind, sitting on the surface of memory like it just happened a few days ago. I can still feel my son’s rapid heartbeat as I held him for the first time in the operating room and his tiny pink hand as he gripped my finger for the first time. I can hear the beeping of the monitors faintly filling the background. I can see the words streaming through my phone bringing to the fore both the happy and despicable aspects of humanity. I can see the tears as they silently streamed down my wife’s face both in the joy of the morning and the pain of the evening. However, most importantly, I can see that moment, that first instant, when mother and son embraced one another and began this journey together.

I remember the anxiety and excitement as I pulled the car around to the front entrance, loaded the items that had been accumulating for the past several days into the trunk, and buckled my family into the car. It was a slow ride back to our townhouse and one during which I couldn’t help but think about all the people who would be at the house to greet him and the one that wouldn’t be there. It was a ride that moved us forward as a family but also one during which I wished I could hit eighty eight and drive to the past.

Time has moved so quickly since our son came into our life at 9:14 am and when I look at him it is hard to believe that he was once so small. He has already learned so much and he keeps surprising us every day with how much he knows and understands. Most importantly, even with some of the chaos that has swirled around us, we have protected our son and he remains as happy as ever. While I still enjoy the quiet moments, there is nothing better than coming home to the excited sounds from my son saying “Daddy!”

TMI Tuesday: Feeding Off Daddy

We all have good days and bad days for various reasons. When it is a particularly long day at the office, I have to deal with some other issues, or there is just a lot of work to be done I tend to be quite stressed and can sometimes be a little abrupt (to say the least) in my demeanor. This is pretty much the way it has always been and I have done my best to try and keep those things from entering our home. This is especially important now because our son can definitely sense when something is a little off or if daddy is having a bad day. He feeds off daddy's mood.

Many times, my son’s mood reflects my own which is why I try my best to push everything aside, leave everything at the office, in the car, or where ever I can store those pressing matters, and focus on the present, focusing on just being with my son. I think this might be why he always seems to have a smile when I walk in the door although I can tell how well I am suppressing everything else by the simple fact of how fast he crawls to my ankles. At the same time I can tell when he senses that I am just run down or not feeling well as he tends to be a little more careful around me and comes in for hugs a couple more times than usual.

Lately, my son has gotten better at picking up inflection in my voice as well. I can see it in the look on his face after I say something. Actually, he understands a lot more than most people give him credit for as he is sometimes the first to laugh at jokes or to give me a quick glance when something I say catches his attention. While he has yet to speak a clear word beyond mama and dada, the vocabulary seems to be slowly building as well. In addition to my mood, I am really having to watch my words more and more every time I walk through the door.

This whole thing is something that really isn’t talked about much on the forums or is a main focus in parenting books but my mood has a huge impact on my son’s personality. He is a happy infant right now and I hope that he remains that way… I can’t imagine what he would be like had I not put forth the effort to leave all those things outside of our home. I definitely know that our relationship, our bond, would not be what it is today had I been a grumpy daddy every time I walked through the door. Now I just have to do my best to keep it up.

TMI Tuesday: Thank You Daddy!

A few months back while spending the day with our friends for their son’s birthday party, our son found one the toys in their house to be greatly entertaining. It was a stationary car that allowed him to sit on the floor and play with all the buttons, steering wheel, and the other odds and ends that are included on it. He must have spent close to an hour that afternoon entertaining himself while the rest of us ate lunch and caught up in our conversations. It didn’t take long before my wife and I realized that was going to be one of his Hanukkah gifts this year.

A couple of weeks ago, before we moved, I got really lucky and found the same car, the only difference was that it was in blue not red, on sale on Amazon. I think it only took me about 10 or 15 seconds from the time I saw it until I had the order placed. A few days later it arrived in an abnormally large box at my office. There it stayed until we got settled in to our new home which, at that point, I moved it into the office closet one night while our son was asleep.

Yesterday, having taken the day off from work, the box finally emerged and while our son was excited enough about the big box he was going to be able to play with, once we were able to put the car together his face lit up as he seemingly recognized the toy that he had enjoyed previously. Just like the first time he saw it, once my wife and I put him in the car he spend at least an hour playing with all the buttons and features occasionally glancing up at the two of us and smiling.

After a while he decided he was done and wanted to squirm around on the floor and play with mommy and daddy. This is not a surprise as any parent will tell you that it doesn’t matter how much they like a toy they are going to get bored with it after a while. What we didn’t expect was for our son to come after me kissing me, smiling, laughing, and seemingly thanking me for a toy that he really wanted. It was one of the most adorable 10 minutes that I have ever spent with our son and something that I was both not expecting and will never forget. I just feel bad that he didn’t do the same for his mommy.

9 Months

It may have only been a month since I last wrote a post like this but a lot has changed over that short span of time. Our little boy who once hated being on his belly now enjoys rolling around and flopping on his stomach while trying to reach for a toy. He even lunges at his mommy and daddy when he simply wants to hug or kiss one of us. Of course, that last part is sometimes a little game he likes to play when he is all cuddly and loving one minute and then just goes about playing like nothing happened. When you ask him about it he gives you a momentary smile and goes about what he was doing.

One moment in particular was last weekend when I was taking a break from organizing and all of the sudden, while sitting in the middle of a scattered field of toys, he turned to me and said “daddy”. I tried to get him to say it again but it was one of those things that just happened in the moment when he wanted to let me know that he could say it but he chooses not to say it. The weekend prior had a similar moment during the middle of the day when I was laying on the floor next to him while he was playing. Out of nowhere, he turned, leaned over, and gave his daddy about a half dozen kisses. These are just a few of the spontaneous moments that I will always remember.

There are also new routines that have emerged during the last few weeks. Cheerios have become the favorite way to conclude any meal. Not really sure if it is the taste, texture, or the independence that make them so appealing to our son. Regardless, it is fun to watch him feed himself and play with them a little while sitting in the high chair.

The other regular activity is something that he does when he thinks that no one is watching. Every time that we put him down for a nap or for the night, he spends the first 10 or 15 minutes in his crib trying to crawl. You can tell that he just wants to be more mobile and that he wants to surprise mommy and daddy because while he works on this a bit while we are playing with him it is a completely different intensity when he is all alone with mommy and daddy watching him quietly on the monitor. I guess we should expect another spontaneous moment soon.

TMI Tuesday: Waiting For Daddy

One of the things that I didn’t think about when I decided on my new car was the sound that it makes when I lock it after getting home at night. It is a rather inconsequential attribute and I frankly didn’t car but I wasn’t thinking about how that sound was associated with my return home. With the Malibu, my son had gotten used to the sound it made when I locked the car. He knew that I was home when he heard the noise. Thankfully, the Cherokee makes a very similar sound.

While there are many nights when my car gives away my arrival, there are a several evenings when he is oblivious to my walking through the front door. This is usually the case when he is fussing or sleeping. If he is awake, as soon as he hears my voice he begins looking around trying to find me. It is quite the cute sight. Once he sees me, his eyes brighten and he gives me a big smile (unless he is particularly grumpy that day). I don’t care what kind of day I have had up until then, it is a good day from that point forward.

Because she sees this every work day, this kind of annoys my wife. However, this past weekend I was able to be on the other end of the situation as I watched our son during the day while my wife ran some errands that she had been meaning to get to. Our son was not happy to see his mommy leave but I was able to keep him active and occupied while she was gone. As soon as I heard her pull up and lock the car, I let our baby know, and the search began. As soon as she walked through the door and he turned his head, the same bright eyed smile surfaced.

So I guess we are doing okay so far. Our son looks forward to seeing each of us and misses his mommy and daddy when they have to go out for a while. It makes me think about how hard it is going to be when we put him in daycare and, down the road, when we send him off to school. At the same time, I can still look forward to that smile and the ensuing cooing when we are reunited at the end of the day. That is, of course, if I don’t screw up between now and then.

Looking Back On The Last 2 Months

It is hard to believe that it has already been two months (and a day) since our son was born. There have been a lot of changes that have occurred, both for better and worse, with each of them bringing us to this point, two months later. While there is still a little disbelief in our eyes when we watch him sleep, my wife and I are enjoying this new phase in our life (even if we don’t readily admit it when our baby is screaming in the middle of the night).

The memories are still so vivid going all the way back to the moment when we found out about our pending arrival. Each and every moment we will carry with us: the reactions when we told our parents, the first time we saw him on the ultrasound, the first time he breathed the same air as us, and all the details surrounding each of those moments and days. We will never forget them.

All of the tiring and trying moments seem to have faded leaving just those moments that remain seared into our memory: his first smile, the first time he found his thumb, the first time that he cooed at us, the first time he rolled over, his first car ride, and countless other moments. These are the times when I don’t need a picture to see his smile and I don’t need a recording to hear his coo. They are forever carried with us so that we can look back at the cuteness when he gets older.

It hasn’t been an easy couple of months but seeing him grow and slowly become more aware of his surroundings is something that I can’t really describe… all the parents reading this know what I am talking about. And the love that you have for your child is something that remains indescribable as well. There are already so many great moments and memories to look back on and so many things that we are looking forward to. Before we know it, they will all be memories.  

While time has flown as our baby had grown, we remember each time he grew just a little bit. Now he is nearly 12 pounds and will soon be too big for the bassinette. It will be another interesting adjustment for us not having him beside the bed. But it is also going to be another memory to look back on… the look of a peaceful sleep that occurs when he doesn’t have to listen to daddy snoring on the other side of the room.

TMI Tuesday: Feed Me!

Every once in a while our son can be rather fussy. During those moments he can cry for a myriad of reasons but usually it revolves around food. Sometimes he is hungry while other times he is just tired. He is an odd little monkey.

Watching my wife feed our child is something beautiful to see. Those of you who have children know what I am talking about. However, there are some moments of humor during those moments that don’t take away from the experience they just add some color to the process. This is even more pronounced when someone other than his mom tries to feed him.

Regardless of who is feeding him the expressions on his face are an interesting study. I’m sure he would fit right in at the Actor’s Studio. Sometimes it can be a subtle smirk while other times it is a slight crinkle as he shifts and stretches. And, of course, there are the red faced moments when you know that an eruption is about to happen.

That is the other part… the sound effects. There is a certain amount of squeaking, grunting, and occasional burping that takes place (usually while his arms and/or legs are going) which is to be expected. There are also the time when he decides to try and communicate by stringing together those grunts and squeaks while gesturing. And, let’s not forget the aforementioned explosions that add a certain punctuation to the process. Let’s just say that our child is rather advanced in this area.

When someone else besides his mom tries to feed him there are a few other things that happen. First, he will give you the look of “what the heck are you doing?” This is followed by a quick look around for his mommy and sometimes a squint and split second cry just before the bottle is put in his mouth. Sometimes he fights the feeding while other times his hunger just takes over. But once he starts, it is pretty much the same regardless of who is feeding him at this point. However, he does seem to enjoy seeing the reaction on faces when he blasts one… mommy has gotten pretty used to it after all.

So the feeding time with baby can be interesting but mostly it is entertaining. This is especially true when he give you a surprised look of “that came out of me?” after he lets go of a good burp or fart. That is probably a look that I will always remember. Funny how the more “interesting” moments and expressions stick with you.

It’s A…

Samantha and I pulled into the parking lot of Paoli Hospital a little later than we were expecting. It wasn’t a matter of choice as traffic was particularly bad this past week. We were both particularly eager to get into the building and excited to start see our baby again. After all, this was the ultrasound appointment that everyone has been asking about in one way or another and we had been waiting for this appointment for some time. Of course, the day finally came and we both got held up before leaving for the hospital and slowed down on our way there. That seems to be the case for many of our appointments.

Thankfully, the office was very understanding when we called to let us know of our delay and they greeted us warmly upon seeing us walk up to the front desk. It wasn’t long before we were sitting in front of the ultrasound monitor seeing our child kicking and punching the crap out of Mommy. While it was a little odd for me to watch it was even stranger for my wife as she could both see and feel the baby hit her stomach.

We sat there in awe of our child as measurement after measurement was taken and they checked the development. We watched the screen as image after image was captured and they confirmed the health and development time and again. Everything was progressing as it should when we heard a little chuckle from behind the screen. This was quickly followed with the question of whether we wanted to know the sex.

As it turns out, our baby passed the winkie test.

Our little baby boy, my son, is happy and healthy. He is an active little baby a day ahead of schedule. While I would have been happy no matter the sex of our child, knowing that we are having a boy did bring me a sense of relief. I would have loved our child no matter what but I know what it is like to be a little boy and I am looking forward to every moment that I can share that experience with my son. I have a feeling that my wife would have felt the same way if we had found out it was a girl.

Everything suddenly became a little more real in that moment. We will soon have a son. I will soon have a little boy who will carry on the family name. I am more nervous than I ever thought I would be but I think I am now ready to be a father. As an added bonus, my sister now owes me five dollars!