TMI Tuesday: Daddy Kisses!

A few months ago, while trying to get our son to sound out a few new words, I would pick him up and ask, “Can you say, ‘Daddy, I love you’?” While the first couple of times that I did this there wasn’t much of a reaction and maybe only a few mumbles of a baby babble but, over time, this changed. One morning before sitting him at the table for breakfast, I posed the same question and got a response I wasn’t expecting. He didn’t say anything, rather he leaned over and gave daddy a big, and very wet, kiss on the lips.

This is not something that he had done but only a couple of times previously, before this he simply did not give daddy kisses. This became almost a daily routine for us as I would ask him the same question and our son giving me the same response. Frankly, I kept hoping for the words but was completely happy with the alternative. There were even some instances when, without me saying a word, he would walk over to me in the playroom just to give me a kiss.  

What came as a surprise shortly after this all started was that I didn’t even have to be present for our son to react this way. When driving home from the office one night I asked the question hoping that he may try to sound out the words but, instead, he took hold of the phone and gave it a big kiss and giggled. Again, this has also become part of our weekday routine.

However, a couple of weeks ago the kisses stopped. Our son no longer wants to give hugs and kisses as frequently as he once did. I guess the phase has passed. As we have been told many times over, enjoy the moments when they happen. While the in person affection has slowed, our son has maintained his phone response and continues to kiss and hug the phone when asked the simple question.

In place of the physical responses, now the words are becoming a much more prevalent part of our days with some clearer than others. We still working on the same question we were before, he is now making a more concerted effort to sound it out. While this was the original impetus for my query a few months back I now find myself missing those moments when my son would give me a big kiss as if to say “of course I love you daddy.”

TMI Tuesday: 18 Months

A year and a half (and a day) later and we are still trying to get used to this new life. With all the changes that keep happening and all of the things swirling around in our life right now it is hard to keep track of time. Yesterday, I looked at the calendar and saw that eighteen months has already passed and it is hard to believe how different things are now compared to the life we were living before we became a family.

The day is still etched in my mind, sitting on the surface of memory like it just happened a few days ago. I can still feel my son’s rapid heartbeat as I held him for the first time in the operating room and his tiny pink hand as he gripped my finger for the first time. I can hear the beeping of the monitors faintly filling the background. I can see the words streaming through my phone bringing to the fore both the happy and despicable aspects of humanity. I can see the tears as they silently streamed down my wife’s face both in the joy of the morning and the pain of the evening. However, most importantly, I can see that moment, that first instant, when mother and son embraced one another and began this journey together.

I remember the anxiety and excitement as I pulled the car around to the front entrance, loaded the items that had been accumulating for the past several days into the trunk, and buckled my family into the car. It was a slow ride back to our townhouse and one during which I couldn’t help but think about all the people who would be at the house to greet him and the one that wouldn’t be there. It was a ride that moved us forward as a family but also one during which I wished I could hit eighty eight and drive to the past.

Time has moved so quickly since our son came into our life at 9:14 am and when I look at him it is hard to believe that he was once so small. He has already learned so much and he keeps surprising us every day with how much he knows and understands. Most importantly, even with some of the chaos that has swirled around us, we have protected our son and he remains as happy as ever. While I still enjoy the quiet moments, there is nothing better than coming home to the excited sounds from my son saying “Daddy!”

TMI Tuesday: Get In The Car Daddy!

When my wife and I were planning out our summer last year we weren’t quite sure how our son would react to being in the car for long stretches of time. As it turned out, he enjoyed the time exploring and seeing new places… at least to a certain extent. Of course, last summer he spent most of his time sleeping as the mile markers slipped by the window and sometimes my wife would join him in slumber. Things are quite different now and it is hard to tell how long he would be able to stay in the car before he has enough.

This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t enjoy traveling or being in the car. On the contrary in fact. This weekend was a perfect example of this as there were many instances when we were outside and every now and again, usually whenever he caught a glimpse of my car in the driveway, he would point, babble something, and start leaning toward the car. We quickly discovered that what he was saying was “Get in the car daddy! I want to go for a drive!” So, shortly after, we would pack everything up, climb in the car, and get on the road… fortunately we had some idea as to where we were headed. At least this time around.

Almost as soon as the car would start moving, this restlessness ceased. Unlike the previous year, he was wide awake the entire time we spent driving around the area. Between looking out the window, playing with his small toys, and giving me a wide smile when I would reach back and tussle his hair, he was a happy little toddler enjoying the time on the road with mommy and daddy. And this change has got us thinking about our plans for this year… our, as of now, undecided plans.

It is amazing, but not surprising, to think about all the different things that our son enjoys and the fact that most of them are quite simple. He is not into a lot of the fancy toys or overstimulating shows, he enjoys the simpler things. He likes his wooden and overall non mechanical toys probably more than any others. He enjoys Mickey Mouse and Sunday Morning on the television. However, what he seems to enjoy most is exploring and seeing the world from behind the car window as well as experiencing new places. It makes me glad that we decided to be cautious by replacing my car and, at this point, I guess we better get moving on booking a few places to stay over the summer and schedule a few other day trips.

TMI Tuesday: Feeding Off Daddy

We all have good days and bad days for various reasons. When it is a particularly long day at the office, I have to deal with some other issues, or there is just a lot of work to be done I tend to be quite stressed and can sometimes be a little abrupt (to say the least) in my demeanor. This is pretty much the way it has always been and I have done my best to try and keep those things from entering our home. This is especially important now because our son can definitely sense when something is a little off or if daddy is having a bad day. He feeds off daddy's mood.

Many times, my son’s mood reflects my own which is why I try my best to push everything aside, leave everything at the office, in the car, or where ever I can store those pressing matters, and focus on the present, focusing on just being with my son. I think this might be why he always seems to have a smile when I walk in the door although I can tell how well I am suppressing everything else by the simple fact of how fast he crawls to my ankles. At the same time I can tell when he senses that I am just run down or not feeling well as he tends to be a little more careful around me and comes in for hugs a couple more times than usual.

Lately, my son has gotten better at picking up inflection in my voice as well. I can see it in the look on his face after I say something. Actually, he understands a lot more than most people give him credit for as he is sometimes the first to laugh at jokes or to give me a quick glance when something I say catches his attention. While he has yet to speak a clear word beyond mama and dada, the vocabulary seems to be slowly building as well. In addition to my mood, I am really having to watch my words more and more every time I walk through the door.

This whole thing is something that really isn’t talked about much on the forums or is a main focus in parenting books but my mood has a huge impact on my son’s personality. He is a happy infant right now and I hope that he remains that way… I can’t imagine what he would be like had I not put forth the effort to leave all those things outside of our home. I definitely know that our relationship, our bond, would not be what it is today had I been a grumpy daddy every time I walked through the door. Now I just have to do my best to keep it up.

TMI Tuesday: Where Have You Been Daddy?

This place was an interesting experience. 

Over the past few days I have been away on a business trip and my son was definitely not happy with the situation. Obviously, the explanation that I gave him before leaving on Sunday morning was insufficient and so he has been acting out since the moment I closed the door. Even when I called in the evening hours and spent about an hour on the phone, it didn’t seem to allay is uneasiness about daddy not being home. I guess you could call this the down side of having a son that is a daddy’s boy.

When my wife and I were planning out this trip we knew that my flight got in early enough that I would be able to take my time and still be able to pick him up from daycare later in the afternoon (just before his usual pickup time). So, after stopping by the house to drop off my travel bags and wash up, I turned around and made my way down the street. When I opened the door and said hi to my son he seemed to have a look on his face of disbelief which quickly dissipated as his scurried across the floor and tugged on my pant leg.

While I could tell that he was happy he was quiet throughout the short car ride home. However, when I opened the door to take him out of his seat, I saw the smile that always makes the day a little better. I guess he finally figured out that he wasn’t dreaming and that daddy was actually home. After a quick change and temperamental snack, we went into the playroom where he spend much of the afternoon staring at me and crawling over for hugs.

Once my wife got settled after unpacking a few bags from her car, we all went into the kitchen where I was finally able to spoil my son with a few small things that I picked up while in Austin (and yes I got my wife something too). Thankfully there was a toy store three blocks away from the hotel and a 20 minute gap in one of my days away. The stuffed animal was nice and he snuggled it a little bit but what really made him happy was the Austin t-shirt and hat combo that I found on clearance at the airport. However, even excitement in those items faded as he preferred to simply be held by his daddy, eat, and go to bed early. After all, he knew that daddy was home now and that he would see me in the morning.

TMI Tuesday: Thank You Daddy!

A few months back while spending the day with our friends for their son’s birthday party, our son found one the toys in their house to be greatly entertaining. It was a stationary car that allowed him to sit on the floor and play with all the buttons, steering wheel, and the other odds and ends that are included on it. He must have spent close to an hour that afternoon entertaining himself while the rest of us ate lunch and caught up in our conversations. It didn’t take long before my wife and I realized that was going to be one of his Hanukkah gifts this year.

A couple of weeks ago, before we moved, I got really lucky and found the same car, the only difference was that it was in blue not red, on sale on Amazon. I think it only took me about 10 or 15 seconds from the time I saw it until I had the order placed. A few days later it arrived in an abnormally large box at my office. There it stayed until we got settled in to our new home which, at that point, I moved it into the office closet one night while our son was asleep.

Yesterday, having taken the day off from work, the box finally emerged and while our son was excited enough about the big box he was going to be able to play with, once we were able to put the car together his face lit up as he seemingly recognized the toy that he had enjoyed previously. Just like the first time he saw it, once my wife and I put him in the car he spend at least an hour playing with all the buttons and features occasionally glancing up at the two of us and smiling.

After a while he decided he was done and wanted to squirm around on the floor and play with mommy and daddy. This is not a surprise as any parent will tell you that it doesn’t matter how much they like a toy they are going to get bored with it after a while. What we didn’t expect was for our son to come after me kissing me, smiling, laughing, and seemingly thanking me for a toy that he really wanted. It was one of the most adorable 10 minutes that I have ever spent with our son and something that I was both not expecting and will never forget. I just feel bad that he didn’t do the same for his mommy.

9 Months

It may have only been a month since I last wrote a post like this but a lot has changed over that short span of time. Our little boy who once hated being on his belly now enjoys rolling around and flopping on his stomach while trying to reach for a toy. He even lunges at his mommy and daddy when he simply wants to hug or kiss one of us. Of course, that last part is sometimes a little game he likes to play when he is all cuddly and loving one minute and then just goes about playing like nothing happened. When you ask him about it he gives you a momentary smile and goes about what he was doing.

One moment in particular was last weekend when I was taking a break from organizing and all of the sudden, while sitting in the middle of a scattered field of toys, he turned to me and said “daddy”. I tried to get him to say it again but it was one of those things that just happened in the moment when he wanted to let me know that he could say it but he chooses not to say it. The weekend prior had a similar moment during the middle of the day when I was laying on the floor next to him while he was playing. Out of nowhere, he turned, leaned over, and gave his daddy about a half dozen kisses. These are just a few of the spontaneous moments that I will always remember.

There are also new routines that have emerged during the last few weeks. Cheerios have become the favorite way to conclude any meal. Not really sure if it is the taste, texture, or the independence that make them so appealing to our son. Regardless, it is fun to watch him feed himself and play with them a little while sitting in the high chair.

The other regular activity is something that he does when he thinks that no one is watching. Every time that we put him down for a nap or for the night, he spends the first 10 or 15 minutes in his crib trying to crawl. You can tell that he just wants to be more mobile and that he wants to surprise mommy and daddy because while he works on this a bit while we are playing with him it is a completely different intensity when he is all alone with mommy and daddy watching him quietly on the monitor. I guess we should expect another spontaneous moment soon.

TMI Tuesday: Waiting For Daddy

One of the things that I didn’t think about when I decided on my new car was the sound that it makes when I lock it after getting home at night. It is a rather inconsequential attribute and I frankly didn’t car but I wasn’t thinking about how that sound was associated with my return home. With the Malibu, my son had gotten used to the sound it made when I locked the car. He knew that I was home when he heard the noise. Thankfully, the Cherokee makes a very similar sound.

While there are many nights when my car gives away my arrival, there are a several evenings when he is oblivious to my walking through the front door. This is usually the case when he is fussing or sleeping. If he is awake, as soon as he hears my voice he begins looking around trying to find me. It is quite the cute sight. Once he sees me, his eyes brighten and he gives me a big smile (unless he is particularly grumpy that day). I don’t care what kind of day I have had up until then, it is a good day from that point forward.

Because she sees this every work day, this kind of annoys my wife. However, this past weekend I was able to be on the other end of the situation as I watched our son during the day while my wife ran some errands that she had been meaning to get to. Our son was not happy to see his mommy leave but I was able to keep him active and occupied while she was gone. As soon as I heard her pull up and lock the car, I let our baby know, and the search began. As soon as she walked through the door and he turned his head, the same bright eyed smile surfaced.

So I guess we are doing okay so far. Our son looks forward to seeing each of us and misses his mommy and daddy when they have to go out for a while. It makes me think about how hard it is going to be when we put him in daycare and, down the road, when we send him off to school. At the same time, I can still look forward to that smile and the ensuing cooing when we are reunited at the end of the day. That is, of course, if I don’t screw up between now and then.

TMI Tuesday: Guilty Grin

The highlight for me almost every morning is walking into our son’s bedroom, turning off the music, and welcoming him to a new day. Most of the time, no matter how much he is fussing, when he hears my voice and turns his head he gives me a wide smile and a light in his eyes that make the grogginess of the hour immediately disappear. It is a moment that I look forward to every single day and what allows me to begin the day anew no matter what the previous day had been like.

Of course, there are also the times when I am slightly taken aback when that smile turns quickly into a guilty grim piercing the emanation rising from his crib. Sometimes it is nothing more than air while other times it is a much more pungent and persistent odor that requires immediate attention. Sadly I must admit that he gets that smirk from his daddy as I know all too well what it means no matter if a toxic cloud is present or not.

This reaction has only become more entertaining as time has gone by and our son had continued to grow. Now the questions of “did you fart?” or “did you poop?” elicit that same complicit expression. It seems as though he already comprehends the humor that those bodily functions can bring to a situation (along with the stink). But those are not the only times that this this expression appears.

One thing that annoys my wife from time to time is the fact that our son seemingly saves some of his energy toward the end of the day so that he can play when daddy gets home. There have been several occasions when my wife would have a particularly rough day with our son not wanting to cooperate but when I open the door and he hears my voice, our son’s demeanor completely changes. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t like the fact that he reacts to me in that way but, at the same time, I can see how it can be a little annoying (to say the least) for my wife.

When I sit him on my lap and talk to him about it usually asking if he had been a good boy today, that same guilty grin appears. Except this time he usually drives it home with some cooing and baby gibberish. The force is definitely strong with this one as neither of us can really remain completely annoyed at that point with such effervescent cuteness… this is not the guilty baby you are looking for. At least when this guilt grin appears we don’t have to deal with the same fallout that fills the morning.

Looking Back On The Last 2 Months

It is hard to believe that it has already been two months (and a day) since our son was born. There have been a lot of changes that have occurred, both for better and worse, with each of them bringing us to this point, two months later. While there is still a little disbelief in our eyes when we watch him sleep, my wife and I are enjoying this new phase in our life (even if we don’t readily admit it when our baby is screaming in the middle of the night).

The memories are still so vivid going all the way back to the moment when we found out about our pending arrival. Each and every moment we will carry with us: the reactions when we told our parents, the first time we saw him on the ultrasound, the first time he breathed the same air as us, and all the details surrounding each of those moments and days. We will never forget them.

All of the tiring and trying moments seem to have faded leaving just those moments that remain seared into our memory: his first smile, the first time he found his thumb, the first time that he cooed at us, the first time he rolled over, his first car ride, and countless other moments. These are the times when I don’t need a picture to see his smile and I don’t need a recording to hear his coo. They are forever carried with us so that we can look back at the cuteness when he gets older.

It hasn’t been an easy couple of months but seeing him grow and slowly become more aware of his surroundings is something that I can’t really describe… all the parents reading this know what I am talking about. And the love that you have for your child is something that remains indescribable as well. There are already so many great moments and memories to look back on and so many things that we are looking forward to. Before we know it, they will all be memories.  

While time has flown as our baby had grown, we remember each time he grew just a little bit. Now he is nearly 12 pounds and will soon be too big for the bassinette. It will be another interesting adjustment for us not having him beside the bed. But it is also going to be another memory to look back on… the look of a peaceful sleep that occurs when he doesn’t have to listen to daddy snoring on the other side of the room.

3-D Baby

Thursday was a hectic day which will soon be evident over the next couple of posts. But they were hectic in a good way as the early morning was a filled with coffee and anticipation at seeing our son again. It was almost as if he knew he was going to have his picture taken that morning. He was squirming from the moment we got out of bed and was pushing closer to the surface trying to get just a little bit closer.

He was calm for a time and very active at other points in the morning. Once the ultrasound began, he seemed to both want his picture taken and wanted nothing to do with the process at the same time. Of course, like the rest of the men in my family, he had his hands up and ready to block his face.

Even with all of the moving around, kicking, and punching, the nurse was able to take all the measurements that she needed… more than enough to tell us that our son is developing normally and maybe a little bit ahead of schedule. She was also able to catch him in the middle of one of his shifts with his face uncovered taking a nice 3-D image of our baby. A second later and he put his hands back up and didn’t move them away for the rest of the morning.

And now we have a face without a name. The latter will come in time but, for now, we know he takes after my side of the family both in his mannerisms and some of his facial features. And, yes, he still listens to daddy when I ask him to move, kick, etc. I am going to enjoy his cooperation while it lasts!

Kick!

 The doctor soon followed and double checked everything that had just been done and all the measurements that had been taken. Thankfully, everything was confirmed and our son is expected to be approximately 8 ½ pounds by the time his birthday comes around. While a big baby, we were expecting this as I was about the same size when I was born.

While everything has gone as smoothly as possible thus far we still have a lot of things that we need to take care of not the least of which is figuring out a few more options for his name. Other things that we are working on are pulling together his room, setting a delivery date, and bracing ourselves for the changes that are ahead. We will get them done I just don’t know when and in what order!

It’s A…

Samantha and I pulled into the parking lot of Paoli Hospital a little later than we were expecting. It wasn’t a matter of choice as traffic was particularly bad this past week. We were both particularly eager to get into the building and excited to start see our baby again. After all, this was the ultrasound appointment that everyone has been asking about in one way or another and we had been waiting for this appointment for some time. Of course, the day finally came and we both got held up before leaving for the hospital and slowed down on our way there. That seems to be the case for many of our appointments.

Thankfully, the office was very understanding when we called to let us know of our delay and they greeted us warmly upon seeing us walk up to the front desk. It wasn’t long before we were sitting in front of the ultrasound monitor seeing our child kicking and punching the crap out of Mommy. While it was a little odd for me to watch it was even stranger for my wife as she could both see and feel the baby hit her stomach.

We sat there in awe of our child as measurement after measurement was taken and they checked the development. We watched the screen as image after image was captured and they confirmed the health and development time and again. Everything was progressing as it should when we heard a little chuckle from behind the screen. This was quickly followed with the question of whether we wanted to know the sex.

As it turns out, our baby passed the winkie test.

Our little baby boy, my son, is happy and healthy. He is an active little baby a day ahead of schedule. While I would have been happy no matter the sex of our child, knowing that we are having a boy did bring me a sense of relief. I would have loved our child no matter what but I know what it is like to be a little boy and I am looking forward to every moment that I can share that experience with my son. I have a feeling that my wife would have felt the same way if we had found out it was a girl.

Everything suddenly became a little more real in that moment. We will soon have a son. I will soon have a little boy who will carry on the family name. I am more nervous than I ever thought I would be but I think I am now ready to be a father. As an added bonus, my sister now owes me five dollars!

That’s My Child!

Helloooo Baby!

Early this morning I couldn’t help but quote the Big Bopper when I saw the picture come into focus. Before our eyes, we saw the profile of our baby slowly take shape as the woman moved the ultrasound around my wife’s stomach. What a drastic change from what we saw just five weeks ago!

We were still a little dumbfounded as they began measuring and checking all that they could in the image to make sure that the little one was progressing normally. Given their parents, this might be the only time in their life that they are considered normal. After these initial still shots, it was time for baby to have a little fun. Yes, it turns out that baby likes to mess with people just like their daddy.

Throughout the process, the baby was moving around and having fun in their little rent free dwelling. When it came time for some more pictures that required the baby to be in a certain position that is when it decided to do their own thing… we could hear the doctor talking, asking the baby to lay on its back followed by a slight nudge with the scanner.

Baby did exactly what you think it did, it rolled onto its belly. It took numerous attempts and a few minutes before the baby rolled all the way around. This is when we could really see the profile and see the face of our child. Five or six still frames later the doctor was almost done but baby had enough. Baby raised their arm, either to wave bye or make their first attempt at giving someone the finger, and rolled over again. That’s my child!

That was the end of our visit for today and I will say that this was the best reason to roll out of bed early. Even groggy, it was an exciting morning for the two of us and another day that we will never forget (at least until we are old and senile). Now we just have to wait for some blood work and come back for some more family photos in a couple months… I guess my wife knows what she is getting for her birthday this year!

Twelve weeks in, the baby is healthy and the reality is really starting to settle in. While I was never in denial, seeing a much more developed picture of our child really hit home and has me both a little concerned about our living and financial situation but also eager to meet him or her (I still think it is a boy). It has been quite an early morning and a really long day of thinking.