Mortgage Monday: People You Can Trust

Now that my wife and I have pulled together our list of things that we need to get done, want to get done, and what might need a second look in the future, it is time to start lining things up and getting many of the ‘projects’ evaluated. While we have both been around and lived through renovations, large and small, in the past, this is the first time that we are looking to get the work done ourselves. With such limited experience, it is best to review these growing lists with some professionals. Thankfully, I have a few resources that will be able to let us know what is worth doing, how much it will cost, and how long it will take.

When it comes to having work done on our home I want to make sure to hire people whom I trust. There are many people to which this applies and I will be reaching out to many of them in the near future to have them look at what needs to be done as well as consider what we want to do in the future. Of course, family comes first and I am fortunate to know a family member who will be able to help with some of the renovations needed… this also might be the biggest project that we are considering as well which makes the whole process that much easier.

For many of the other things on our long, and growing, list I have turned to a few of the brothers from my lodge. The members of the lodge represent a hugely diverse mix of occupations, professions, and specialties and while I don’t know what everyone does for a living (not at this point anyway) I know enough brothers whose knowledge and skills will be a tremendous help to me. So far, I have already been in touch with a few contractors, a couple of electricians, and an architect. All people whom I trust and know that they will do great work at a reasonable price.

This is the basic reason why it is so important to get to know the people in your life. Knowing what they do for a living can be a tremendous asset when you find yourself in need of their services. And you never know when they might need your assistance with a project. The most important thing is that we make sure to help, aid, or assist those in our life. Whenever given the opportunity, take the time to help someone. When you need help, don’t be afraid to reach out. This isn’t just something that applies to home ownership, it is a way to live your life. It just happens to help during times like these.

Stacking Meetings

This is what needs to be done every night I go to the lodge...

At the last stated meeting I made arrangements with the new Treasurer that we would meet every third Tuesday of the month. It is a schedule that works out for both of us as I am usually able to make it to lodge on those days and he has greater flexibility during the second half of the month. So, being that yesterday was the third Tuesday, we were both there to have our monthly discussion. However, that was only one of the meetings that I scheduled.

Before any of the other brothers arrived in Ardmore, I met with a new CPA who is also a brother of the lodge and was recommended by another brother with whom I have conducted some personal business. Frankly, I have become fed up with the previous CPA firm that we have been using as their prices are astronomical and there is no regularity from year to year. Basically, I have no idea who will be preparing our taxes. The connection we once had with the firm is long gone and the time for change is long overdue.

As expected, the meeting went very well and I am happy to hand off our taxes this spring to someone I can trust. Of course, by the time we were wrapping up our conversation, there were a few others that had arrived and just as we were about to part ways my next meeting quickly started. Having gone through the requests for information that the lodge has received recently, I scheduled some time to meet with another prospective candidate (I was originally going to meet with two prospects but there was some unavoidable family matter that came up with one of them). I prefer meeting in person and actually having a conversation rather than relying on email or phone conversations.

He may have been the youngest prospect that I have corresponded with so far but he was actually very well informed and we were able to answer many of the initial questions that he had for us about the lodge in particular and Freemasonry in general. Honestly, I am just glad that I was able to answer his questions as, despite recent interest, I have been a little rusty in handing such questions. In the end, honesty never gets old, and that is how I respond to queries that I receive. After the great introductory meeting, I gave him a quick tour of the building, and we parted ways with a plan on meeting again for dinner before the March stated meeting.

By this time the evening was already getting a bit long and it was time to sit down with the Treasurer, and a past Treasurer, to review the books. This is an ongoing issue lately as we want to make sure everything is in line for the current year especially with the audit deadline rapidly approaching. There was some clear progress that has been made and, after our most recent meeting, I am both thankful for all the help that we are receiving and confident that everything will be ready for submission by the end of next month.

By the time that we were all walking back to our cars I was exhausted but also satisfied with the work that I was able to get done both during the day and while at the lodge. We have a great group of brothers that come out on Tuesday nights and there is a lot that is being accomplished during these meetings. Now more than ever, I am looking forward to the progress that will have achieved by the end of the year and the positive changes that will have taken place (more than what already has transpired). Until then, we just have to keep getting our work done.

Chasing Down Dues

Since the last time I was at the lodge, stemming from a conversation I had with one of the brothers, I pulled together a list of those brothers who have yet to pay their dues for the current year. I divided the disappointing list between myself and a few other brothers, all of whom are past Masters, with the hope that we could all reach out to those brothers specified for each of us and make sure that our fellow masons can avoid being suspended. Well, I can’t speak for anyone else but I started reaching out to the members of the lodge that I selected for myself beginning with those whom I am most familiar.

And it didn’t take long before I spoke with a brother who has had a bit of a rough time as of late. Unfortunately, I had lost touch with him over the past year but took it upon myself to reconnect with him via Facebook. While doing so I had the odd feeling that something must have happened since it had been a while since I had seen him at lodge. While he was clearly being too hard on himself, I continued to insist that he is welcomed at the lodge at any time and that we are here, I am here, should he need any assistance. After all, we are brothers.

Thankfully, after a lengthy conversation we agreed to see one another again at the lodge soon. And, despite my justified offer to remit his dues, he insisted on paying is own way. I give him credit, he had a few very trying moments in his life lately but he managed to push through them and hopefully we can bring him full circle and continue to make this good man even better.

Other discussions never even got off the ground as there have already been a few unsuccessful attempts to reach various brothers. For some their lack of dues seems to be a simple oversight while, for others, there may be a little bit of abuse of the system at play. I can’t say for certain unless I speak with them directly but their track records in the database don’t quite match up with someone facing a recent hardship. But, again, part of being a good mason is giving your brother the benefit of the doubt so I will have to wait and see.

In the end, we are a small lodge with unreasonably moderate dues so when brothers don’t pay it does hurt. It won’t make or break us but it would give us some additional breathing room in the coming year should everyone pay their own way. Heck, they should take note of my interaction above… I was ready to remit his dues on the spot but he wanted to put forth the effort and the finances to pay for himself. I tip my hat to you sir and look forward to meeting again at the lodge in the near future.

What Would You Do With $1.5 Billion?

For much of the week the entire country was obsessed with the Powerball jackpot which, by the time of the drawing on Wednesday night, had climbed to $1.5 Billion. Yes, there is a ‘B’. It didn’t matter what your line of work or where in the country you called home, the lines at the local gas stations, 7 Elevens, and any place that sells lottery tickets were long and the stacks of tickets that people were buying were high. Even those who seldom gamble, and that is what this is, disregarded the long odds and bought tickets. And I was one of them because ‘eh, what the heck.’ Actually, I got two for myself and contributed two dollars to the office pool as well.

One of the interesting things that happens to anyone when they get a lottery ticket in their hand, especially with such a high potential payout, is that you can’t help but think about how you would spend the money should your numbers match. Most of the people I have talked to over the years and what seems to be common in the stories that you read about or watch on television is that a new house, car, and some outrageous vacation are where at least some of the money goes. Well, while tempting and at the same time not eliminating the possibility, it is not what I have on my list. When looking at the $1.5 Billion payday, here are some of the things that came to mind. Here is how some of my initial expenditures broke down in my mind:

·         $10 Million as emergency funds for my employer.

·         $2 Million to each of my 10 coworkers (under the condition that they continued working).

·         $10 Million each to various family members (siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, etc.).

·         $20 Million to my parents.

·         $20 Million to my lodge.

·         $10 Million to the Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania.

·         $5 Million to my masonic district / district school.

·         $1 Million to each of the other lodges in the district.

·         $5 Million to Help for Heroes Fund.

·         $1 Million to various friends (we have a list).

·         $1 Million into college funds for our son and each niece and nephew.

·         $10 Million to each of our undergrad and graduate colleges.

·         $2 Million to the NRA.

·         $10 Million to the Rotary Club of Bala Cynwyd – Narberth.

·         $3 Million to pay off all debt and for some intense splurging throughout the rest of our lives (houses, cars, vacations, etc. would have to fall into this).

·         $20 Million Trust Fund for our son.

·         $10 Million each to Nefesh B’Nefesh and the Jewish Agency for Israel.

·         $10 Million to each of the Synagogues that have welcomed us and supported us over the years.

·         $5 Million to cancer research.

·         $1 Million for hiring genealogists to research all family lines.

·         $5 Million to the Monacan Indian Nation.

Adding all of these up it comes out to approximately $350 million. So, if you do a little calculating, it breaks down in the following way. When you look at the $1.5 Billion Powerball Annuity Jackpot, the lump sum option was approximately $900 million. Out of that $900 million you have to assume that you are going to lose about half to various taxes leaving you with $450 million. Once you subtract the $350 million in distributions above these leaves a total of approximately $100 million in the bank. It would be nice to sit back and relax never having to worry about finances again (especially without debt and with splurging already included into the budget).

New Project For A New Year

One of the ancillary benefits of being a mason and knowing most of the brothers at the lodge is that, over the years, I have gotten to know most of the professions, occupations, skills, and connections that can be found among the brethren. This past year, especially over the last six months, I have leveraged that knowledge and called upon my fellow brothers for their assistance and I have been tremendously happy with the experiences that I have had thus far. Heck, I don’t think that our real estate search or estate planning would have gone as smoothly had we used anyone else.

The hard work that my fellow masons have put forth on those personal projects is why I made a point to stand at our last stated meeting of the year and make their assistance and talent known. We are here to help one another. Sometimes it is in a direct manner serving as a realtor or attorney, sometimes it is about giving advice which I have done from time to time, and other times it is simply making the expertise known to the lodge or introducing brothers to one another who may not have had the opportunity to meet otherwise.

It was with this last concept in mind that I decided to start a new project for the coming year. Of course, I got the idea approved and made sure my assistant was on board as he will be doing the bulk of the work. It is a rather simple endeavor which is to pull together a lodge business directory which we will make available, physical and digital copies, to all the brothers of the lodge. This way when any of us are in need of a service or advice we know who to call. Unlike the general listings in the Yellow Pages, we know for certain that we can trust the person on the other end of the conversation and that they truly have our best interests at heart.

And I’m not even done trying to find brothers with which I can entrust some personal projects (mainly house work). I am in touch with a few other brothers to take care of some finishing work that needs to be done and I am looking forward to endorsing them as I have done for other brothers in the past. So, my advice to other brothers reading this post (or anyone involved in any kind of organization for that matter) is to take the time and get to know everyone and pull a similar directory together to share among the members of the lodge. After all, you never know when you might be in need of a brother’s help, aid, or assistance.

Progress And Questions

Don't let this be your last question!

With the notice having gone out at the beginning of the week, I felt much better heading down to the main line to take care of a few things before the stated meeting this Thursday. I got to the lodge a little later than usual last night having had to run a few errands after work. By the time I arrived, the lights were on, the doors unlocked, and the brethren were already hard at work moving a few of the heavier items out of the kitchen. As soon as I walked into the small space I knew the best thing that I could do is stay out of the way and sort through the freshly collected mail.

The kitchen has been the primary lodge improvement project while we have been away during the summer and things seem to be progressing nicely. Actually, the space is looking completely different having been gutted, painted, and upgraded thanks to many of the brothers who have campaigned tirelessly to get the work done. It is the first of many on a long list of improvements that need to be made and, thankfully, the trustees have a schedule already formed as to when all the items will be checked off the list.

Once the heavy lifting was completed, I was finally able to catch up with a few of the brethren whom I haven’t seen all summer. We have all been at the lodge at various times but never at the same time until last night. There was a long list of things that we needed to talk about and it was nice to finally have the time to discuss many of the situations that we dealt with throughout the summer. This was also a time that afforded me the opportunity to discuss some potential projects with brothers who know what the heck they are doing rather than someone (me) who doesn’t have the background to go beyond the idea stage. This is only the latest of such situations/conversations.

And this is something that we sometimes lose sight of during the course of the year. The brothers with whom we spend time with every month (or every week) are not just family, they are professionals from all different lines of work. While certainly far from the focus of our fraternity, it is important to remember that there are always brothers with different experiences, occupations, backgrounds, and training who are willing to help no matter if it is personal, work, or lodge related. All you have to do is ask. Sound familiar?

Pulling Things Together

The last fellowship night at the lodge before a stated meeting is always an interesting one as I try to figure out the last few things that need to be done. This is also the night when I double check to make sure that I have all the supplied needed for the meeting and that everything is in place. While I am doing this the steward and some of the officers are going through the same process and making sure that they are prepared for the meeting.

As I was running through the list and sifting through the mail that I had just pulled from the post office, there were a couple of items that remained on my list that I was certain I wouldn’t be able to get done in the next couple of days… at least, I wouldn’t be able to get them done myself. Time and distance were both deterrents in these instances but there were brothers at the lodge that had a little more flexibility. So I was finally able to coordinate with a couple of the brothers in attendance last night to finish off a couple last minute errands for the lodge. It is a rarity that I ever ask and I am always grateful that the assistance is there when I need it.

Hopefully everything will continue progressing as planned and all the pieces will be in place when I arrive at the lodge tomorrow night. I would have liked to have seen more people at the lodge last night, a couple that I was expecting to see didn’t walk through the door, but we always seem to have enough brothers together to make sure that things get done. Lately I have been the one missing these meetings and when I am occasionally there I miss the weekly fellowship all over again.

One more day to go and things are coming together. It should be a busy meeting this month and there has been a lot of work that has been put in to make sure that things got done. Thankfully, there have been many people both at Grand Lodge and brothers from my lodge that have been willing to put in the effort to cover a few of the things that I simply haven’t had time to do. Every meeting is a collective effort by every brother… this is a fact that is too often overlooked. Without each of the brothers in attendance last night (as well as other not in attendance), these meetings would be difficult, if not impossible, to pull together.

Last Time, First Time

I headed into this weekend knowing that it was going to be a long one. Earlier in the week I had to make the decision regarding where I would be going and what I would be able to get done. In the end, there were a couple of things that required my attention and so my long Saturday began with me staggering out of bed around 6:30.

The first stop of the morning was at the lodge where I had to ensure that the Red Cross had enough time to set up for the Blood Drive which was scheduled to begin at 10. For those of you unfamiliar with the logistics, they usually begin unloading the truck between 8 and 830 in the morning. Thankfully the traffic was light so my slightly late departure had me arrive just as the truck was pulling up alongside the building.

I stayed at the lodge through most of the set up and left for my second commitment about an hour before donors were supposed to begin showing up. It was time to backtrack a bit and take care of some final things at my mother-in-law’s house. My wife and I arrived at about the same time and double checked what had to be moved out. Once my brother-in-law pulled up, the moving went quickly (the 4 larger items were much lighter than expected) and we were soon headed back to our house to unload everything.

Fortunately, the only items that my wife decided to take from the house are ones that have a practical use and that we were going to pick up at some point in the future anyway. Because of this, we had plenty of room and knew exactly where everything had to go. After offering a little compensation to my brother-in-law for his help, my wife and I took a few minutes to relax and plan the rest of the afternoon.

My wife and I agreed that she would join me in Ardmore giving me a bit of a head start so that he could take care of our son before leaving and so they didn’t have to spend too much time at the event. With our plans in place, I got back in the car and headed off to the lodge for the remainder of the blood drive. After a quick retrieval of the mail, I walked back through the doors and checked on the donor progress… the turnout wasn’t bad for a last minute arrangement and it soon got a little better as a brother walked into the hall and signed up.

While we were catching up on things, my wife arrived and seeing others laying on the tables decided, for the first time, to donate. Of course we had to double check first but given that she was well beyond the 6 week waiting period, she walked up and registered to donate. As it turns out, she was perfectly fine and somewhat surprised at how easy the whole process was from beginning to end.

So it was an interesting and busy day that came to an end with the lodge once again having been cleared out and my wife and I enjoying the weather by taking our son for a walk along Lancaster Avenue. And after a quick dinner with my parents at a local restaurant, we headed back home a little tired but having gotten a fair amount accomplished during the day. We all slept quite well last night and looked forward to a mostly open schedule for the rest of the weekend

Well, That Was Useless!

The learning curve is steep when you have your first child and there are many instances when you are scrambling to find the answers to questions that seemingly pop out of nowhere. Sometimes you reach out to family and friends who have kids to see what advice they have and chose from one of the many options that have inevitably been offered. Other time you reach out to the professionals and either call the doctor or, as we did a number of times early on, ask the doula. Each time we listen to the advice from those people who have “been there, done that.”

Thanks to social media, we can get a plethora of opinions and answers to our questions in a very short amount of time. At least that is what I have seen on my wife’s Facebook feed as I have usually just picked up the phone or asked someone in person when I run into them. While my approach may take longer and seem outdated by many, it is how I prefer getting the answers and advice that we need. It also eliminates the “other opinions”.

I have had countless conversations and have heard the many humorous anecdotes from family and friends who used social media (mostly Twitter and Facebook; these aren’t LinkedIn conversations) when they first became parents. While they received the helpful hints, tips, advice, and answers that they were looking for they also got the opinions of those who don’t have kids but “read somewhere that this is the best thing to do” or passed along the half of the conversation that they heard 5 years ago when their friend was considering having a child. Basically, useless information… I actually heard of someone saying that you should hold your newborn upside down and lightly shake them if they get hiccups. Wow, just wow. Either they don't have kids or they're in jail. 

While I have an opinion on just about everything (I know, you’re shocked) there are certain things that I will not offer second hand advice on. This includes parenting. And I still hold fast to that as we are only 6 weeks in so I can’t really speak from experience on anything. If specifically asked, either by phone or in person, I will gladly share my experience but I can’t give advice especially when there are general posts made on social media. Maybe after we have done this more than once I might offer my opinion but I doubt it.

A Family Of Three

Sometimes the easiest and hardest thing you can do is to ask someone for help. This is especially true when you have your first child. While there was a part of us that just wanted to do it ourselves, we knew that with everything that was going on around us it would, at the very least, be a difficult undertaking. It is with this in mind that we decided to have a doula (also known as baby nurse or postpartum nurse) assist us during the first month.

We first met one of the doulas when we were still in the hospital trying to center ourselves again after all that had transpired over the first 24 hours as a family. With our son arriving a little earlier than expected, there were a number of projects around the house that we had yet to complete. This is when we experienced one of the big perks of having this extra help as I was able to take her to the house and show her a few of the things that we would like taken care of before we got home (mostly laundry, dishes, and a few organization projects).

When we opened the door, there were a number of things checked off our list. Maybe the most important one was that we were able to go to bed that night and sleep on clean sheets. This support continued for the next several weeks as we became more comfortable with having a newborn in our life and while we had to deal with a variety of other events beyond our control.

As time passed, the help continued to be appreciated (most recently while I was on my annual business trip) but the need to be alone with our son continued to grow. Our routine was taking shape and we looked forward more and more to the times when it was just the three of us. It was time to do things on our own and look to family and friends for the advice we needed from time to time (we still sought the advice before but now it is what we solely rely upon when needed).

We still question whether we held on to the doula safety net too long but, in hindsight, we know that there were moments early on when it would have been a struggle without their presence. But now we have our routine and our son expects to see us rather than someone else when he gets fussy or wakes up in the middle of the night. While the constant support may be good for some for a long period of time, it is not something that we wanted to last and now we can enjoy life as a family of three.

Donate Space, Donate Blood

On an almost daily basis lately, there seems to be one thing or another that I need to address when it comes to keeping things running as smoothly as possible at the lodge. Sometimes I can help while other times I am not sure that there is anyone that can offer assistance. A midst all of the phone calls and emails this week revolving around a variety of lodge matters, there was one particular call that I didn’t expect. A call that allowed me to take action on behalf of the lodge and make something happen to help someone else.

As you may recall, the lodge conducted a blood drive in December and for the event we had a pretty good turnout especially given the fact that this was the first time that many of us were in charge of coordinating and the fact that we were late in scheduling the day and time with the Red Cross. Well, afterward everyone left happy with a respectable turnout and a lot of donations made. It wasn’t the easiest thing to pull off but the results motivate us to ensure that we make this an annual occurrence.

We had come up with a preferred date toward the beginning of the year and while I had been meaning to call the coordinator I simply haven’t gotten around to tracking her down. Yesterday I didn’t have to call her, all I had to do was pick up the phone. As it turns out, the Red Cross needed our help. The venue that they were scheduled to use on April 18^th was now unavailable and so the scheduled blood drive had everything but a location.

After making a few calls and making sure many of the brothers were on board I was able to call her back and offer her, on behalf of all the brothers, the use of the lodge for that particular day. While it was by no means an expected task during a busy week, it was gratifying to know that we were able to help in some small way. Of course, while I had her on the phone I also booked our blood drive for the fall on Saturday, October 3^rd, from 10am to 3pm.

I guess it is a simple lesson that while it is good to seek out ways to help the community sometimes you just have to keep yourself open and pick up the phone when it rings. You never know, you could make a difference just by answering. So, whether you are free in April or October (or both), take some time out of your day, give something to those in need, and donate blood.

One Fast Month

It is hard to believe that a month has already passed since our son decided to surprise us. We had been planning for his anticipated arrival for many months but when he showed up we were taken off guard. Even if everything had gone according to plan I think we still would not have felt as if we were prepared. I guess that just comes with the territory.

Since that early February morning, things have been a little hectic to say the least. It has been both a challenge and a time of wonder watching him adapt to life outside of the womb. Each day there is something a little different. Sometimes it is a rather unpleasant surprise (hence the TMI Tuesday posts) while other times there are moments of awe when my son hears me come home from work and smiles.

The nights can sometimes be long (more so for my wife) and the days go by way too fast. I don’t know where the last month has gone. All the while we have done our best to adapt and get acquainted with the fact that our life is completely different and our priorities have changed significantly.

There have been moments when people have been tremendously helpful and there have been times when those people, contrary to their good intentions, have been quite the hindrance. All the while our son has be surprisingly understanding of all that is going on around him and, for the most part, has not unleashed a plethora of protesting cries. It is a steep learning curve which we sometimes struggle with but have, thus far, been able to keep up.

Now I find myself a lot left that I still have to learn, a stories that I look forward to sharing with my baby, and a schedule that still needs some tweaking. All of this tends to go out the window on a daily basis as our little boy wants nothing to do with schedules and plans. We are all trying to just take things as they come, coordinate the best we can, and see how each day and night plays out.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that I can’t look forward to the future so I am slowly forming my baby bucket list that began germinating not long after we found out that we were having a child. Some of the things are common events during development like hearing his first words, watching him crawl and walk for the first time, and enjoying the silence as he sleeps through the night. Other things are very specific like sharing our hobbies, our family history, and taking him to the places that we enjoy visiting.

This is just a quick overview of what I am jotting down here and there. Don’t be surprised if you read a post in the future about many of the things that I am looking forward to doing and sharing with him. But, for now, I am going to keep it simple and enjoy the wonders of the first month and these first memories that my wife and I have of our new life as a growing family.

One Meeting Or Two?

The more you know the harder you laugh!

Since our usual stated meeting was postponed and a degree already scheduled for the evening, last night was an interesting and condensed meeting. As if the scheduling wasn’t enough of a concern, I also had to make a point to have discussions with the Worshipful Master and the Trustees. Some extra fun that I really wasn’t looking forward to but, in the end, everything seemed to smooth out… hopefully my phone will stop ringing now.

Of course, as is the nature of my office, this was not the end of the discussions for the night. There were a number of behind the scenes things that needed to be addressed in order to keep things running smoothly. They were actually great conversations with a lot of progress made to hopefully take care a number of things that have been quite the headache as of late. It simply came down to making sure that everything was communicated and everyone knew what was expected of them. It happens.

Something that I hope to change one of these months is bin able to sit down and enjoy dinner with my brothers. At this point I can’t remember the last time that I was able to grab a plate and sit at a table before a stated meeting. It has been so long that the Steward was ready to make a plate for me to take home after the night was over. He is just one of the many brothers that has taken the time and gone out of there was to make things just a little bit easier for me month after month.

Before and after the meeting, in-between conversations and other duties, I was also turning to many of the brothers in attendance asking for their dues which were now long overdue. And, not surprisingly, the requests continued from various brothers for a variety of reasons which added a number of things to my Masonic to do list. This is something I both dread and look forward to as it allows me to look into some of the things in freemasonry that I may have previously neglected.

Because of all the aforementioned reasons, and the fact that he attended the Secretary’s Seminar last month, my assistant is still astounded that I am able to juggle all of these things. However, I do agree with him that the pay could be better. But no one takes on the responsibilities of this office for financial gain… we enjoy the work and take pride in the role we play in the history of our lodge and the Masonic lives of our fellow brothers.

The meeting itself was the quickest that I have ever experienced and while we may have postponed a lot of the usual business, it was still amazing how fast we were able to move through the night and how much we were able to accomplish. By the time the lodge was closed, I was heading back home as if we had only had one meeting rather than two. My wife still wasn’t happy (mostly because my son insists on waiting up for me) but it could have been a lot worse.

Late To Lodge

As I wrote yesterday, time has not been kind to me and last night was the perfect example of that. For an extra meeting I usually try to get out of the office between 5:30 and 6 but with a major presentation scheduled for Thursday, I was in the midst of a meeting throughout the afternoon and into the early evening. 6 o’clock came and went soon followed by 6:30. When I walked out of the door at 6:40, with a pile of work that needed to get done later that night, I knew that I was going to be cutting it close for the 7:30 meeting so I texted the Worshipful Master and let him know of my delayed arrival time.  

Pulling into the parking lot there was only a minute left before things where scheduled to get started and I still had to get in the door, head downstairs to my office, change, and grab a Bible. I have missed a couple of meetings in the past, only one since becoming Secretary, but this was going to be the first time that I would be arriving late. So I prepared as fast as I could and made my way up the stairs and continued resisting the urge to reply with “land shark” from behind the closed door.

Thankfully, when I knocked into the meeting the candidate had yet to enter and I was granted a few minutes by the Worshipful Master to collect myself and get situated at my desk. As soon as I sat down, we officially started the degree portion of the night. I am glad that my brothers waited a little as the candidate last night is someone that I was looking forward to seeing take the next step. Many of us have been impressed with both his eagerness to learn and his ample participation thus far (even before he officially became a mason). I look forward to seeing him thrive in the lodge and in Freemasonry in general.

The evening came to a close with the brethren converging on the newly raised Mason to congratulate him and sign his Bible. Soon after many sought me out to remind me of a variety of things that needed to be taken care of and ask for my assistance with others. At this point I have pretty much gotten used to this routine after meetings. However, as we walked down the stairs one of my brothers, knowing all that I am juggling at this time, made good on his countless offers and removed one of the small but still time consuming tasks from my list. Yes, I actually took him up on his insistence this time.

We all went our separate ways once we ventured back out in to the bitter cold. A few headed off to the brewery across the street, several went home to enjoy some down time with family, and I made my way back home to tuck my wife and son into bed and get a few hours of work done before passing out. By the time I went to bed it was 2 in the morning which was only made worse by the fact that the week wasn’t even half over. Just one of those weeks but at least I was able to forget all of that for just a little bit last night.

Baby Shower

It was bitterly cold as I left the house on Saturday morning to get the oil changed at the dealer. My wife and I had planned on meeting up in Wayne later in the day just before her baby shower. However, as soon as I pulled into one of the service parking spots, and saw the crowd in the waiting room through the window, I knew we were going to have to adjust things. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize just how much our plans would change.

My wife picked me up on her way to the late lunch and while in transit I called my dad to have him pick me up at the venue. This was my wife’s day and I didn’t want to stick around too long and get in the way. After chatting with a few people and greeting some early arrivals, it was time for me to head out and wait for both the call from the dealer and the text from my wife.

While we chatted about work, planning for the year, and other things the dealer finally called about 2-3 hours after I first walked through their doors. It turns out that my car needed more than just an oil change as the front brakes needed to be replaced and the slow leak that I had them check on the front tire was actually a bent rim… I guess I won’t be seeing my car for a few more days. Well, things happen and thankfully my wife was having a much better day than I.

The shower was a small gathering of family and friends all of which brought overly generous bags and boxes. We had put a lot of things on the registry but simply to offer a variety of both items and prices thereof, we didn’t expect so many items to be purchased. When I got the text from my wife, I was glad to read that things had gone well and that she was happy. Everything else didn’t really matter at that moment… my wife had a good time and everything had gone as smooth as possible.

We met up at the tail end as the last guests were walking out the door. The bags and boxes seemed never ending as we walked back and forth between the restaurant and a few cars. Thankfully we had some help from my family as well as a bigger place to live in which to fit all of this new stuff. The help continued later in the evening as my sister and brother-in-law (along with the kids) helped us get everything in the house and move around the furniture that I was unable to get up the stairs previously.

It was a long and tiring day for both of us but a great day and one that will serve as a happy memory for us and many of our family members. And now we will wait for our son to arrive so that we can start using all the new items that will soon be organized in his room… which is another project all together. I guess that is going to have to be the new project.  

Taking Turns

Yes, I am using this post as an excuse to include another picture of our baby boy!

 With everything that is going on lately with the move, work, lodge, and other things, I was looking forward to going to the next doctor appointment to check on our baby. That’s right, I actually had a reason to look forward to a doctor appointment. With our scheduled checkup a little later in the evening, I left the office a little later than usual and called my wife during the commute. It has been, to say the least, a little chaotic for her lately as well and she too was looking forward to hearing our son’s rapid heartbeat.

In the past we have endured prolonged periods in the waiting room so as the first flakes of precipitation brushed across our cheeks we walked into the office a little early and settled in for what we expected to be another long evening. Thankfully we were wrong as before we could even get settled, and certainly to the displeasure of those who were already waiting, we were escorted back to an examining room. Once all the basic vitals were checked, it was time for my wife to lay down and let the baby take over the moment.

As many of you know and have experienced before, hearing your child’s happy heartbeat takes over the moment allowing for everything else that may be going on in your life to disappear for a brief moment. Last night it couldn’t have come at a better time as that one instant, that fleeting flutter of a moment, made much of the thoughts from the previous few days, weeks, and months disappear from our thoughts. It didn’t last long of course but it was enough to get us through the rest of the day and into the night.

In the end, our baby remains healthy and slightly ahead of schedule. That is really all that we want. It just happens to be a bonus that he is already starting to listen to us, sleeping when we need to sleep, and shifting into a different position when needed. Even if he didn’t do any of those things we would still love him just as much as we do now and that, our new reality as parents, continues to be what is getting us both through many tough moments lately. Essentially, baby is already helping to take care of us know before we have to start taking care of him.

And now we wait for the next appointment. While we just had the most recent checkup last night, we are already looking forward to the next one. Before long he will be here and that is when our lives will really change but, for now, we are enjoying the change that he has already had on our lives.

Face Value

While there are some trying personal situations going on lately, I have been doing my best to stay as objective as possible, offer the few tips that I have to make things a touch easier or prepare those a little better, and, in some instances, just stay the heck out of the way. More often than not it all comes down to the “shut up and listen” mentality. However, there have been a few moments when I have attempted to make things a little easier by letting people know of a few things that they need to keep in mind.

Recently I did just that and, just like in previous instances, it was a complete mess. While I will not get into details or divulge any names, let’s just say that the reaction that I saw made me second guess the motives of some individuals. Furthermore, it confirmed that those people don’t trust me whatsoever and believe that I have an ulterior motive with everything that I say. While that perception is not in line with the reality of my words, the fact that things were so heinously skewed makes me question the motives of the person with whom I spoke.

I take great offense when my offer of assistance, however minor it was in this instance, is viewed in such a manner. And frankly, I am done in trying to help certain individuals. There are other caught in this same situation for which I would do anything I possible can but then there are the others. I wasn’t even expecting acknowledgement of this tip so if nothing were to be said I would continue to offer the little I have from my experiences to assist. However, to be confronted in this way… I am done. Thomas Hardy said it best and for those incurables there is little that can be done to change their prognosis.

So while I am finished with those who revel in the conspiracy of their on minds and searching for a different meaning behind advice that does not exist, I will continue to listen, process, and do my best to relay any helpful information to those that will take it in the way that it is intended… a simple offer to ease the process in any minute way that I can. And with all that is going on we can’t say with any certainty about what is going to happen in the future but some things are coming into focus and we are able to plan for the inevitable. Until then most of the time I will simply shut up and listen and help those who take my offer at face value.

Box Bombardment

What happened UPS? 

Last week the packages began arriving at our townhouse. It started with a few small items that I pulled from out mailbox as there were a few items that we ordered for the holidays. Of course, this is in addition to the numerous things that we purchased for the house, crammed in our car, and carried up and down stairs. The latest deluge is a result from the large items from our baby registry being left outside our door.

Each time one of these large boxes arrived my wife would get that look like the father receiving his ‘major award’ in A Christmas Story. Of course, she would have that look as I was carrying or pushing the box up the stairs and into the baby’s room. Let’s just say that it really isn’t fun when the 110 pound box barely fits up the stairs and you spend the majority of the time just trying to navigate the corners while keeping it from tipping back.

Now we have all of the furniture in the townhouse without any help from UPS due to their not being allowed to bring things inside of homes. And everything has been finagled up to the second floor with the only exception being that of the dresser which it simply too big for one person to maneuver. We are going to have to unbox it first and have at least two people carry it up the stairs on its end… it is the only way that we are going to be able to make the turn.

Thankfully there should only be one more big item that will be delivered in the coming weeks as we have another couch due to arrive this week. This too will have to be taken up stairs but this time to my wife’s office to serve as the guest bed for when we have overnight out of town visitors. Hopefully it is like the other couch and I can simply take it up in pieces and assemble in the right place.

There will also be a continued package bombardment as the due date approaches and the baby continues to accumulate more and more items. But at least we are nearly done with the items that we wanted to get to complete our new home. Everything is finished in the basement (at least everything that I had planned on putting down there), my wife’s office is nearly done, and the first floor is full of all our existing furniture. The baby’s room is the only one that will continue to accumulate a heck of a lot more stuff… stuff in all different sizes of boxes.

Range Time Equality

In the beginning every target looks the same. 

After reading an amusing article on Sass, Brass & Bullets I took some time to think about the stereotypes that she discussed. When talking about going to the range or firearms in general, the view from the outside is completely different than that which we, as enthusiasts, experience. In fact, it is pretty much the complete opposite of the judgmental views that many people have of the sport and of us as individuals. So I wanted to take this time to talk a little about what my experiences have been like with the sport.

It is interesting to me when I go to the range, look around, and see the different people walking off the firing line as well as those in each lane. While there are many people with tunnel vision out there who would like to paint a picture that encapsulates every gun owner out there, that is simply an impossible task. Heck, just in the people I know personally, there is a tremendous variety of those who enjoy the shooting sports. It doesn’t matter what race, gender, orientation, social standing, financial stature, or background, there is a wide variety of people on the line at any given time enjoying the same right afforded to all of us.

On the range, some people may have the nicer firearm, but that doesn’t matter. Just like the aforementioned diversity doesn’t matter. It all comes down to putting holes in paper or shots on target, everything else doesn’t mean crap. And many times we take the time to learn from one another, we look out for each other, and we admire the talent that some people have (I am certainly not one of those being sought after for tips).

We all go to the line, focus, and block out the rest of the world with a basic relaxing task that we all enjoy. Granted there are some people that go to the range and shouldn’t but, the majority of the time, those of us that respect firearms and truly enjoy the sport are there to either guide or ‘kindly correct’ them. This is not a sport where ignorance and stupidity are tolerated. Sure you can have a little fun or, within certain parameters, ‘kid around’ but this is all with safety and respect in the forefront of our minds.

The main thing to remember is that the stereotypes that are bandied about by the anti-gun, anti-equality, people out there are simply untrue in just about every sense. I have enjoyed having great conversations with a wide variety of people on a number of different topics all stemming from our common interest in firearms. At the same time, it is a great way to share time with friends within the social atmosphere of the range.

Firearms have always been the great equalizer but most people have lost sight of the fact enjoyment of the craftsmanship, skill, and talent that can be found at the range is also a tremendous means of equality. Those that truly enjoy and appreciate the shooting sports understand this and many of us go to the range seeing talent on the trigger not the differences in the person behind the butt stock. In the end, if you want to find utopia, go to the range.

Is This The Beginning Of A Masonic Renaissance?

Time seems to be back on our side!

Things seem to be getting out of hand a little bit at the lodge lately. Our extra meetings are going longer, there are more entries that need to be written in the ledger, a lot of campaigns and projects that are running or being organized, and more brothers that are attending meetings. While it is a little more work than in previous years, all of these things are great for the lodge.

Last night was a perfect example of all of these things converging on a single evening as I found myself running around the lodge for about 5 hours trying to keep up with everything that needed to be done. It was a long degree night with three scheduled and completed. The blood drive signup sheet got a few more names listed. And the ledger was filled in a little more than most nights.

I enjoy the nights when we are doing degree work as I am able to partake in the fellowship that eludes me during the stated meetings. Last night was a mix between the two as I was well prepared for the evening but all the other things that we have going on carried from one conversation to another. Some nights, some months, there is just too much that needs to be done to sit down and eat. I remember the meals when I had not yet received my degrees and while enjoyable, I prefer my current hectic routine. Everything has to be on the go right now because I don’t want to be the one to hold things up even for a little bit.

As this was happening I caught a glimpse of a new petitioner helping with the meal and conversing with his future brethren. It is because of this quality of candidates that we are slowly turning things around and growing the lodge not just in the basic membership numbers but with regard to the participation of the brethren. However, thinking about that time in my masonic life, it seems as though that was the start of this new trend and the growth that we are currently experiencing.

While I am certainly not the reason for this shift (far from it in fact), I am proud to play a small roll in welcoming new brethren to the fraternity and welcoming back brothers to the lodge. There are many masons that I have seen come in and I am excited by the quality of character and desire to learn that each one of them has demonstrated. This is why we are pushing forward and working hard because if we can keep things moving forward this could potentially be the beginning of a Masonic Renaissance.