Seeing Faces To Forget

Throughout this season there have been too many gifts to specifically remember any individual surprise. Actually, this year has been full of generosity from friends, family, and coworkers alike. It has been at times overwhelming but appreciated each end every time that an unexpected box or envelope has been put in our hands. However, since I have written about the many gifts that we received earlier in the year, I will stick with those that we have gotten over the last month or two… basically during the holiday season.

Hanukkah was early this year and it was fun surprising both our son and my wife with gifts for each night… and then some. What I got in return was better than anything that I handed out as the faces that they made were something that I am already looking forward to seeing again next year. However, my wife and I agreed, long before the holiday and prior to settlement on the house, that my gift was a new set of office furniture. Of course, my wife also got me a cordless drill during the holiday which I didn’t expect. All of these things I am going to use for years so I pretty much made out like a bandit.

Toward the end of the month I received my preferred gift, a few times over in fact, of a gift card to a few places that I can make that money stretch as far as possible. In all, between friends, family, and coworkers, we probably received close to $200 in plastic. This was on top of the small gifts and has nothing to do with the horde that our son received. Although he probably would have been just as happy with the boxes and tissue paper. More about that later.

However, like the reactions I received from my wife and son, the best part of the holiday season has been the looks on people’s faces when I hand them an unexpected box or envelope. Many of the brothers at the lodge seemed to refuse reality, my coworkers were shocked, and family members were surprised. For me this is what the holiday season is about regardless of your faith. It has been a great season and a difficult one at the same time but seeing those glimpses of joy allow me to focus only on what is good and happy about this time of year.   

Reindeer Down!

The Christmas decorations around town are quite festive and are pretty understated compared to those that I am used to encountering around the Main Line. And while there are houses here and there that have light displays a few bulbs shy of Clark Griswold, there actually isn’t much in the way of individual decorations up and down the streets. It seems as though we all agree that being out here, away from the densely populated areas, the night provides more of a light show than anyone could ever string along their eaves.

We are also in an area where people are incredibly kind and welcoming in the course of our weekly encounters. We have rarely come across someone who wasn’t pleasant and, more often than not, there have been kind words and wishes shared and reciprocated. However, given the occasional sounds in the distance and across the street, Rudolph might want to consider investing in some Kevlar. Who knows, someone around here might hold him personally responsible for Grandma’s death.

I can see it now. After their usual tales from NORAD telling watchers and listeners that Santa was crossing the Atlantic on his way to the East Coast, millions of children lay their heads town struggling to fall asleep. Then, all of the sudden…

from down in the den there arose such a clatter

that they sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

When what to their wondering eyes should appear

but a special report saying there’s nothing to fear.

As the reports pour in the news conveyed by the third string anchormen seemed grim…

they showed little emotion and went straight to their work,

the search teams were deployed and the kids when berserk.

And laying the report just off the screen,

they echoed the outcome which lead to a scream.

They cut to the authorities at the scene of the crash,

who didn’t hold back not fearing the backlash.

And they heard them proclaim at they signed off from the sight,

Rudolph was dead and Santa was grounded for the night.

As it turns out, as was reported the following day,

Rudolph isn’t bullet proof and pulled down the sleigh.

A 12 gauge took him out and with dead weight dragging them down,

the other reindeer couldn’t support Santa and they crashed in a small town.

The fire took Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen

but only singed Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen.

The presents were gone and Santa was pissed

because all that was left was a double checked list.

From Anorexia To Gluttony

Following a weekend of sugar shock and house cleaning it would have been nice to enjoy a simple fall day before the last vestiges of color seeped from the fall foliage. A day without holiday anticipation, decorations, expectations, or advertisements. That is the way that things used to be. The week following Halloween was a time when we were given a seasonal reprieve, a few days to rest before turning up the obnoxious advertising to eleven.

Well, that was then and this is now. There were a few hours in the middle of the night when the commercials stopped and the decorations in the stores were taken down. However, by the time we got out of bed and turned on Sunday Morning, the Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Christmas promotions began trickling across the airwaves (keep in mind that Hanukkah commercials will begin the night before). And, in the stores, the Christmas decorations were immediately put in place where the ghouls, goblins, witches, and vampires once dominated the shelves. Santa was back and he really wasn’t waiting any time this year.

It seems like I find myself saying this every year but the holidays keep getting earlier and earlier. Heck, even when logging on to Amazon, they are already starting to promote their Black Friday sales… let’s hope they are better than their summer debacle. On top of all this, stores are starting to come out with their holiday, i.e. Thanksgiving, hours. Better not eat any turkey this year or you won’t have the energy to beat everyone to get the good stuff. And, if you do enjoy a nice feast, you might want to consider moving everything to lunch time as many stores will be open by dinner this year.  

It really is a shame that the marketing for all these holidays has gotten so out of hand. It is a beautiful time of year, my favorite season, when the weather is usually warm enough to be comfortable but cool enough that you appreciate the moments you spend walking among the fire falling from the trees. It is the last moments that we have to enjoy being comfortable outside before the bitterness of winter descends. It seems as though the spectacular season beyond the windowpane is no longer enough for most people… they need to focus on what they can buy, what they can look forward to, and what they want to get rather than enjoying the present which doesn’t cost them a thing.   

Why This Day?

Like most religious holidays, especially ones that have become a piece of commercialized pop culture, it is interesting to look at the roots of the Christmas holiday and basically how it came to fall on this particular day in December. It seems that almost from the very beginning, the selection of this date has been a marketing play to ensure the success of the holiday and the spread of the religion. And you can’t really blame the early church for doing this because of the simple fact that it works. This theory is summarized on Wikipedia in the follow passage:

One theory to explain the choice of 25 December for the celebration of the birth of Jesus is that the purpose was to Christianize the pagan festival in Rome of the Dies Natalis Solis Invicti means "the birthday of the Unconquered Sun", a festival inaugurated by the Roman emperor Aurelian (270–275) to celebrate the sun god and celebrated at the winter solstice, 25 December. According to this theory, during the reign of the emperor Constantine, Christian writers assimilated this feast as the birthday of Jesus, associating him with the 'sun of righteousness' mentioned in Malachi 4:2 (Sol Iustitiae).

An explicit expression of this theory appears in an annotation of uncertain date added to a manuscript of a work by 12th-century Syrian bishop Jacob Bar-Salibi. The scribe who added it wrote: "It was a custom of the Pagans to celebrate on the same 25 December the birthday of the Sun, at which they kindled lights in token of festivity. In these solemnities and revelries the Christians also took part. Accordingly when the doctors of the Church perceived that the Christians had a leaning to this festival, they took counsel and resolved that the true Nativity should be solemnised on that day." This idea became popular especially in the 18th and 19th centuries.

It is interesting in the origins and evolution of the holiday that the, for lack of a better term, mood of the holiday has changed so drastically back and forth over the centuries. What was once a means of celebration to rival that of a pagan holiday transformed into a day of reverential awe. Now we find ourselves, regardless of our own particular faith, surrounded by the sights and sounds of the season which are downright joyous. And while it is no longer my holiday of choice the messages of peace, love, family, appreciation, and joy are universal and should be embraced by all. And for everything else there is always Festivus!

A Season Of Fellowship

I was one of the last to leave the office last night having to make a top at the apartment before heading off to Ardmore for the evening. Thankfully, it was the last day in the office for the week before the holiday and I would be able to make up for the few minute that I lost when I headed out the door. With a fair amount of things still left in our previous dwelling, I found the time to pack a few more boxes and get the mail before pulling out of the lot.

Just two days before Christmas and I found myself at the lodge waiting for some other brothers to arrive. While it wasn’t an inconvenience for me (even though Hanukkah was coming to an end), I anticipated that the holiday would decrease attendance pretty significantly for the night. Just as I realized that I had misplaced my set of keys for the new place, my fellow brothers began to arrive.

My mind was in a few places and I was trying to text and talk at the same time but we still managed to establish a plan for the evening and by the time everything began to settle down, everyone was where they needed to be working on the degrees that they were required to study. Even with the rush of the holiday season around us, there were a number of committed brothers who made their way to the lodge last night.

Again, this is very different than that of the previous year as I don’t recall the same participation from the brethren this close to the end of the year. There is not just a dedication that can be seen in many of the new brethren but a true desire to learn about the fraternity from their fellow brothers. While we don’t always have the answers for them, they are still asking the questions and pursuing the answers to deepen their own knowledge. I am excited to see what comes about from this thirst for more light.

Once this surprisingly satisfying evening drew to a close, I made my way, for the first time, back to the townhouse after lodge. While a longer drive than what I have become accustom, it was a relaxing commute that allowed me just the right amount of time to reflect on the night. I guess this is just another reason why this move and my decision to remain committed to my lodge (rather than transferring to one closer to home) was a great decision.

Ugly Sweater Breakfast

They have to specify Christmas or Bill Cosby would win every year!

Every once in a while everyone at the office we all go out and just enjoy ourselves away from work and the deadlines streaming through our email. Sometimes it is as simple as having lunch together in the conference room (although there is usually at least one computer out and everyone is checking their phones for emails and calls). Yesterday was completely different as we all got on the road a little early and met for breakfast at Cracker Barrel dressed in our finest ugly sweater.

The commute wasn’t bad even in the midst of the morning rush hour and I was able to get there just in time having given myself a bit of a buffer for the drive. Others we not so lucky as an accident and general congestion kept them from joining us and put them two cups of coffee behind. However, the important thing is that we all made it to the meal and filled the table with good, non-work, conversation and compliments on the classy designs adorning each of us.

We did the same thing earlier in the year minus the sweaters and with a slightly different crowd around the table. While one person has left, three great coworkers now joined us for the morning relaxation. It was a great time but, as is the case with the piles leaving this country kitchen, we were all left a little sluggish as we drove down the road and to the office.

The light morning was soon followed by round after round of meetings where we continued the transition process set in motion by the departure of one of my coworkers. It is a bit of an odd situation that I find myself in as she is the only one that started working at the office before me having assumed her role a day before I began coming to work. While I am no stranger to having outlasted people at certain jobs, it is weird to be the one with the longest tenure (albeit only by a few days).

Honestly, given all the perks and the family like environment in which I work, it is hard to think about leaving this company. I understood the need for change at previous employers but this is a completely different environment. It is safe to say that I am here for the long haul. I was hear during the chaos of the first few months and I look forward to being here as the company grows even though the faces around the breakfast table may change.

Too Soon!

As stores moved their Halloween candy and decorations to the clearance section out came the Thanksgiving items to be put on display. But the turkey day decorations are limited in their shelf space as the Christmas stock was already dominating the aisles. With nearly two months to go, the winter holiday was already on full display smacking you in the face the moment you walked through the door.

Over the past couple of weeks the oversaturation has only gotten worse as the music is filling the stores and the slowly trickling into the radio rotation. And this week is seems as though the weather has joined in on the premature celebration with the cold and flurries filling the air. Even as I write this line there is the Hershey kiss red and green holiday bells ringing in the background. All of this is too much and way too early.

Growing up this was a time of year that I looked forward to… it was a something that I waited for with great anticipation and I could count on the decorations and music to change the world around me the week following Thanksgiving. Now it is an entire season, the same length as winter or fall, that overshadows all the other days that make up autumn. For some this is a welcomed change but, for me, it is robbing the appreciation that we once had for the sow decent into the cold weather and the holidays, events, and transitions that I enjoyed years ago.

But I guess this is to be expected during a time when people want everything right now and want it for as long as possible. With instant gratification found in every corner of the internet and easy access through all means of communication, there is no more patience left in everyday life. That is what I think I miss the most, the enjoyment of the day to day. Each day offered a little change during the fall and built up the anticipation to what we knew was to fall upon us at the very beginning of winter.

While my focus has changed as I have gotten older and the holidays which I embrace are completely different, the spirit that fills this time of year seems to be watered down by extending it over such a long period of time. Now, we find Halloween trees on display in early October and a mix of music filling stores in the midst of the fire that fills the autumn landscape. If only we could go back to the slower pace and patience that came with the day to day enjoyment of the season. Maybe we could enjoy the individual holidays rather than suffering from a merry overload by the time December comes around.

Think Before Sending Ralphie A Bunny Suit

Everyone, at some point in their life, has found themselves in a position when they open up a gift, fain a smile as best as they can, and tuck it off into the corner in the hopes of forgetting about that brief but unpleasant memory. While those gifts may not be as extreme in their unpleasantness as Ralphie revealing a pink bunny suit, they are still a hiccup to the festivities of the day. We do our best to forget the figurative magenta and look high and low for that Red Rider BB Gun tucked behind the piano if anything to erase the memory of a horrid gift.

To varying degrees this happens to each of us every single year. Some gifts are exactly what we asked for… usually an item off of a previously requested list. While not a unique or creative gift, it is what we asked for and what we got. Can’t complain about that.

Other gifts we may not have put on any list, we may not have even thought of them as an option, but there is a clear thought process behind the item and, while unexpected, you are happy to have received it. These little surprises are appreciated both for the gift received but, more importantly, for the thought and consideration that was put into it.

However, there is a third category of gifts. I call them WTF with a bow on top. These are the boxes that when you crack open you wonder if they either mislabeled the box or, even worse, if they even bothered to think about who they were shopping for. Other gifts in this category range from the completely useless to the “I like it which means that everyone should like it”. Some even encompass both and are therefore deemed pink bunny gifts.

Those are the reasons why I put so much time into buying gifts (in addition to investing in trying to find the best deal). I don’t like being on the receiving end of a pink bunny gift and I really don’t want to be on the giving end. In fact, I hate the latter more than the former. There is nothing like seeing the reaction in someone’s face when you surprise the heck out of them which is immediately followed by the how did you know stare (sometimes a simple fondling of the gift gives the same message). If I don’t know how to achieve that I will either revert to their list of ask someone else for ideas.

Give and you shall receive. Your efforts will eventually pay off even if you have to go through a lot of bunny suits in the process. Even Ralphie gets the gift he has been anticipating and wishing for at the end of the movie. Keep giving great and thoughtful gifts, watch out for icicles, and don’t let the hounds get into the kitchen.

Black, White, And Gray

Most people in this world, especially the vocal ones, see the world as black and white and, at times, I can be the same way. There are some topics/subjects, as you may have read, that I can be very opinionated about and can even seem very narrow in my view but every opinion I have offered on this blog has had at least a hint of gray in it. This is why I like putting my thoughts in these posts… it has been a great way not only to open up discussion with others but also think topics, subjects, or viewpoints through. If anything, this blog has added quite a bit of gray into my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still openly debate people and stand firmly behind my views which many people may not agree with but I have had to put in the time and the energy to think things through and come to those decisions/conclusions. Putting that energy into those opinions has also allowed me to enjoy what I have and stand behind my decisions. It seems all too common these days that people are willing to be part of a collective that leads them around based on the beliefs of few. While I may be a part of many groups we are all individual thinkers and have very divergent opinions on a variety of subjects. We all live in the independent gray rather than a life dictated by black and white allowing us to be blindly herded between the extremes.

Embracing the gray hasn’t always been a part of my everyday life. There have been a number of times, periods really, in my life when things were all or nothing. The holidays are a perfect example of this change in my views. A couple of years ago my wife and I tried to distance ourselves from the Christmas holiday as much as possible. It really was a season when we did all we could to avoid the festivities. However, as I have previously written, now I am much more open to the experience simply as a time to enjoy the spirit of the holiday. I think of it as going to a foreign country… you can enjoy were you are and the spirit of the place but it doesn’t make you a citizen. Thanks, just visiting.

This is just one example. While apt for the time of year the gray is not limited by the calendar. It is a means to be open to experience and to see the best in both people and places. I hope you all have a gray holiday.

Hope You Are All Enjoying The Winter/Spring Holidays

When I woke up this morning the bedroom seemed a little is warmer than usual. Being that it is the first day of winter, the window was open, and the heat not yet turned on this should not have been the case. In a day more indicative of spring the temperature today reached the 60’s for the first time in a while. I can’t remember the last time that it has been this warm so late in the year. As you have probably already figured out by now, the snow that that blanketed the greater Philadelphia area about 2 weeks ago is now is tatters with only a few miniscule piles remaining in the corners of the parking lot.

So, as the temperature continues to warm, it is supposed to hit near 70 tomorrow, the natural thing to do is to wrap gifts in preparation for the family day in the middle of the week. For those of you dreaming of a white Christmas this year, you are pretty much SOL. You will just have to settle for the time with family, the time off from work (thank you to those whose jobs require you to work on the holiday), and the hours upon hours of “Small World” syndrome inducing music, and, I have to admit, some darn funny movies.

It’s an interesting time of year for me. Growing up, this was the only holiday that I knew and I have many great memories of spending time with family, opening gifts, and making the wine disappear from my glass before dinner. Maybe that last one wasn’t really great at the time but it is funny in hind sight. Those memories, and the spirit of the holiday that is still on full display every year still instills a fondness for this time of year for me. Even though it is no longer my holiday, it is still a great time to spend time with family and to see the happiness not only in my nieces and nephews but also my parents. Seeing that look in the faces of my family is what makes this a happy holiday.

I consider myself very lucky because I am able to experience the holiday happiness much more frequently than most people. I can see the joy in my family members during the Christian holidays and I can feel the joy during the Jewish holidays. Okay, maybe not all of them as some are not really known as “happy” holidays. So many of the holidays throughout the year have meaning to me for different reasons. It has taken me a long time to come to the realization but just because it may not be your holiday, it doesn’t mean you can appreciate the spirit of the holiday. And, of course, you should enjoy all of the amusing pictures and jokes that seem to be a natural byproduct of any celebratory time of year.

Happy Holidays!

A Little Too Early!

Two days from tonight we will all, at least those of us in the US, will be sitting down for Thanksgiving Dinner. After stuffing our faces many of us will be heading home on the slow sleepy drive back home while others will roll themselves into the adjacent room, beach themselves on the couch, and go to sleep. It is a great day to spend with family without the obligation or expectation of gifts, it’s simply a time to get together and give thanks for what you have and the people around you (at least most of them).

At the tail end of the day, with only a couple/few hours until the calendar page is turned, stores will be opening their doors to throngs of people looking for the best deal of the year (until it hits the clearance rack) and the cheapest gifts possible for the impending gift giving season. Every family has that one person who goes to the Black Friday sales (or whatever you call the Thursday openings) and I will admit it that I am no stranger to the chaos although I have never waited in line to get into a store.

I can understand the need for a good deal and with Thanksgiving over it is natural for retailers to capitalize on the next big holiday on the horizon… Christmas. However, Black Friday does not mark the debut of the decorations, displays, cards, or freaking music. All of that holiday gaudiness begins creeping out right after Halloween.

At this point, I am pretty sick of it. It is too much, too soon, and it has to stop. Growing up I loved the Christmas season and I recall the sights, sounds, and music immediately surrounding the big day. Immediately surrounding, not the surrounding months. What has happened over the years?

While it is not my chosen celebration in my adult life, it is still a season that surrounds us. The message is positive and people are generally in a good mood but let’s stop trying to extend the season every year. Let’s go back to simple way that it should be and start all of the extravagance just after Thanksgiving. Actually, start it on Thanksgiving as it used to be. When Santa comes down the street on the float, the holiday season has officially begun.

So, sit back and enjoy the holiday season. Enjoy the fact that you are allowed to blame the dog for your farts for an entire month. Embrace the gifting ability to pick favorites in the family without saying a word. Reminisce about the days when Chevy Chase was funny and watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (snicker, snicker, snicker).

And, finally, enjoy your one day late in the year… long after we celebrated our eight days of Hanukkah (we will be celebrating while you are just starting your shopping). You might have missed the beginning since we don’t have a lot of songs to mark the holiday because we were too busy writing Christmas songs. By the way… O J Simpson, still not a Jew.