Fun (And Food) For The Whole Family

There was a little bit of chaos for me leading up to the stated meeting as there usually is before an official district visitation. The usual list of items that need to be prepared before any meeting pretty much doubles in size and given that our lodge is on display to a lot of visitors I make sure to double check that everything is in place hoping that the one thing that I do forget can be overcome with relative ease. And this is something important for every officer to remember… you are going to forget things. The trick is to make sure that it is as insignificant as possible as to not disrupt the meeting itself.

The visitation this year was a little different than in previous years. For one, I was able to enjoy some time in the hall dining with the brethren and, in some instances, with their wives. That was a pretty significant change and one that I hope to see continued in the months and years to come. Not only were wives and families welcomed to join us, we were also treated to a delectable Brazilian dinner prepared by one of the wives (with a little assistance from her husband and Junior Warden). For me, on the top of that to do list was to make sure I thanked her for all of her hard work… something that I am glad that I remembered to do.

The meeting itself went very smoothly with only a minor mistake on my part that was easily rectified. It was also a very productive meeting as there were a number of projects that needed to be addressed and motions that needed to be made. Overall, especially given the last couple of months, it was a welcome respite from the week and a reinvigorating one at that. There is great progress that has been made, positive changes that are in the works, and important motions that have been passed.

When the meeting was over and all the bills were paid, I finally sat back to collect my thoughts for a few seconds before starting another conversation. In many ways, I can’t believe that this is already my third year as Secretary and the beginning of my forth year as a mason. It seems as though I was raised yesterday while, at the same time, I have been coming to lodge my whole life. It is really hard to put into words but something that motivates me to see the lodge succeed and to see new masons to succeed as well. And now, with the changes in process, it is something that I will be able to happily share with my family on a more regular basis… especially my son who I hope will join me at a meeting someday.  

Setting Aside Networking Time

Every day I try to set aside about 15 minutes simply to send out a few emails or make a couple of calls to people that I have met recently or to reconnect with those that I haven’t spoken to in some time. This is both something that I enjoy doing but also part of my job as networking is essential to my line of work. Investing that nominal amount of time each day is well worth the effort and has proven to be hugely beneficial over the years both personally and professionally.

However, there are a few things that I have found to be essential to this outreach over the years. The first being that you cannot be selling when trying to open or reopen communications with someone. I have fallen into this trap a few times in my life when trying my hand at various occupations related to sales. That being said, I have never claimed to be a salesperson and never will claim to have the skill set necessary for success in that line of work. But it is an aspect that I am still well aware of in my current outreach as I prefer to focus on getting to know people rather than trying to get business from them or persuade them to attend an event.

The second essential aspect to effective outreach for me has been to forego social media. While these sites have undoubtedly proven useful in making the basic connections with people and to learn a little bit about them, they should not be used as a means of communication. Personal emails are much more effective in opening up a dialogue but still have limits. Connecting over the phone provides a personal touch and demonstrates that you are taking the time and putting forth the effort to not just talk but to listen and learn about the other person.

The third and final piece of the puzzle is the easiest of them all… listening and learning. Don’t just blankly reach out to people; learn all you can about them before writing that email or picking up the phone. This is where social media should be leveraged. See what they have posted, liked, commented on. Find their birthday, dates of life events, work anniversary, previous places of employment. Essentially, find that commonality that you share with them and use that to start the conversation. Networking is not about business, it is about getting to know people and finding things in common with the people you know is a great way to strengthen your network.  

Finally, familiarize yourself with pictures. There have been countless occasions when I have been at business and social event when I have seen a familiar face. Many connections have started in the virtual world but, by knowing what many of my connections look like, I was able to properly introduce myself in the midst of a large crowd. Most of the time, this is what truly separates you from the countless other connections that someone has made in the virtual world. In the end, never forget the importance of meeting someone face to face… networking can only survive and thrive in the real world.

Firearms Friday: Grips

When practicing my pistol grip the other day I started thinking about all the other sports when I found myself in this routine. It really is interesting when you think about the commonalities that can be found across three completely different sports… golf, baseball, and shooting. Of course there are drastic difference between the three as well but for the sake of this post I will focus my thoughts, as I did the other day, on the grips.

Like most kids growing up I played baseball every year and over time I picked up more and more techniques and learned the proper way to do things including many of the basics including how to properly hold a baseball and, as it pertains to this stream of consciousness, how to grip a bat. While most see a bat and simple grab it there is actually a method to the grip to maximize bat speed. Basically, you start the bat at the tips of your fingers and roll the bat toward the palm. For some the knob is part of the grip to capitalize on the leverage gained by the additional circumference. By gripping the bat this way you completely free up your wrists allowing for full extension during your swing.

Gripping a golf club is completely different from holding a baseball bat but it also brings us a little closer to a handgun grip. While you want your wrists to be as free as possible when swinging a bat, your wrists should be locked when holding a golf club. This is why you place the club in your palm and you’re your fingers around it with both your thumbs in line pointing at the ball. Strength is also not your friend when it comes to golf as you should have a firm grip on the club but only enough to keep it in your hand. Any more and you risk tilting the head and sending your shot right or left. You can see this at the range all the time.

That last part sound familiar, doesn’t it? When working on my pistol grip there is actually more commonalities with a golf club grip than that of a baseball bat. I do my best to get a high purchase, line up my thumb just below the slide, bring my support hand with my fingers at a 45 degree angle along the front pulling toward my body and down, and line up my thumb just under the other. The part I am really working on is that support hand angle as this is what is really locking in my wrists, forcing the recoil into my shoulders, and allowing me to be firm but not flex with my other hand. This allows for relaxed initial engagements, quick follow up shots, and little in the way of pushing or pulling the trigger. Again, you can see this at the range all the time.

Understandably this is a very basic overview but it was an interesting chain of thoughts that I wanted to share. I am sure I am not the only one that has had this slinky moving through their mind and it just goes to show how closely muscle memory and actual memory are tied together. If we can tap into that it might be a little easier to retrain yourself at the range… you never know. It might work.

Lessons Learned

We have now traveled with our son a few times with this past weekend being both the greatest distance that we have traveled from home and also for the longest duration. I can’t say that everything was perfect during these weekend adventures but we were able to get there and back in one piece each time so I would call them successful. However, there have been a few takeaways from our travels thus far and here are just a few of them:

• Rest Stops Are Your Friends – Always be cognizant of the rest stops during your drive. Know when you pass one and how long it is until the next one. You may not need to stop at that exact moment but things can change in a matter of minutes.
• Stick As Closely To His Schedule As Possible – The last thing you want is your son being in a different and unfamiliar place and have his schedule messed up. Keeping to a feeding schedule as much as possible and repeating the nighttime routine can make things a lot easier.
• Don’t Underestimate The Number Of Wipes You Need – this is both for the obvious reasons but also because you’ll have other uses for them as well. If you are like our family you will be out and about all day… use the wipes to clean your hands regularly. They are also convenient for the occasional road trip spill in the car.
• You Are Going To Forget Things – Begin with packing the things that you can’t readily replace. Everything else comes after. It is pretty much guaranteed that you are going to forget things so make sure that they are items that you can pick up on the road.

Of course, there are countless other lessons learned during our explorations but those seem to be the four that most readily come to mind. While those might be the things that didn’t go as smoothly as expected, there were also things that we were very thankful for as we drove down the highway. Most notably is the fact that we upgraded our cars over the past few months. While absolutely possible to travel in our former vehicles, having the Outback and the Cherokee have made things a heck of a lot easier.

So this is just the beginning. I am sure that we will make more mistakes and overlook things in the future but we are at least keeping things moving in the right direction. The true test will be next month as we significantly extend our vacation…. I even took time off from work for this one. While there is always going to be some trepidation, I am looking forward to rediscovering a place (and reconnecting with distant relatives) from my childhood and sharing that experience with my wife and my son. Of course, you can read all about that trip next month so stay tuned.

Well, That Was Useless!

The learning curve is steep when you have your first child and there are many instances when you are scrambling to find the answers to questions that seemingly pop out of nowhere. Sometimes you reach out to family and friends who have kids to see what advice they have and chose from one of the many options that have inevitably been offered. Other time you reach out to the professionals and either call the doctor or, as we did a number of times early on, ask the doula. Each time we listen to the advice from those people who have “been there, done that.”

Thanks to social media, we can get a plethora of opinions and answers to our questions in a very short amount of time. At least that is what I have seen on my wife’s Facebook feed as I have usually just picked up the phone or asked someone in person when I run into them. While my approach may take longer and seem outdated by many, it is how I prefer getting the answers and advice that we need. It also eliminates the “other opinions”.

I have had countless conversations and have heard the many humorous anecdotes from family and friends who used social media (mostly Twitter and Facebook; these aren’t LinkedIn conversations) when they first became parents. While they received the helpful hints, tips, advice, and answers that they were looking for they also got the opinions of those who don’t have kids but “read somewhere that this is the best thing to do” or passed along the half of the conversation that they heard 5 years ago when their friend was considering having a child. Basically, useless information… I actually heard of someone saying that you should hold your newborn upside down and lightly shake them if they get hiccups. Wow, just wow. Either they don't have kids or they're in jail. 

While I have an opinion on just about everything (I know, you’re shocked) there are certain things that I will not offer second hand advice on. This includes parenting. And I still hold fast to that as we are only 6 weeks in so I can’t really speak from experience on anything. If specifically asked, either by phone or in person, I will gladly share my experience but I can’t give advice especially when there are general posts made on social media. Maybe after we have done this more than once I might offer my opinion but I doubt it.

What Are Your Symptoms?

And both will kill you over time!

Stress is something that we all deal with on a daily basis on one form or another. Most of this encounter this little monster at the office while others deal with numerous outside factors that impact the level of stress in their life. Lately, life seems to be shuffling the grab bag and pouring out numerous stressors all at one time from all different areas. While I am a firm proponent that stress in moderation is a good thing that can help with motivation, too much stress, especially on a consistent basis rather than the normal ebb and flow, has the exact opposite effect.

Unfortunately, stress is frequently overlooked when someone isn’t feeling right. I have seen it time and again in countless friends and coworkers and have experienced a few symptoms here and there in my own life at different points and for various reasons. It is with this underdiagnoses in mind that I want to bring to your attention (or remind you) of the detrimental symptoms and effects that stress can have on you. While by no means complete, here is the list from WebMD:

What Are The Symptoms of Stress?

Stress can affect all aspects of your life, including your emotions, behaviors, thinking ability, and physical health. No part of the body is immune. But, because people handle stress differently, symptoms of stress can vary. Symptoms can be vague and may be the same as those caused by medical conditions. So it is important to discuss them with your doctor. You may experience any of the following symptoms of stress.

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Emotional symptoms of stress include:

·         Becoming easily agitated, frustrated, and moody

·         Feeling overwhelmed, like you are losing control or need to take control

·         Having difficulty relaxing and quieting your mind

·         Feeling bad about yourself (low self-esteem), lonely, worthless, and depressed

·         Avoiding others

Physical symptoms of stress include:

·         Low energy

·         Headaches

·         Upset stomach, including diarrhea, constipation, and nausea

·         Aches, pains, and tense muscles

·         Chest pain and rapid heartbeat

·         Insomnia

·         Frequent colds and infections

·         Loss of sexual desire and/or ability

·         Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ear, cold or sweaty hands and feet

·         Dry mouth and difficulty swallowing

·         Clenched jaw and grinding teeth

Cognitive symptoms of stress include:

·         Constant worrying

·         Racing thoughts

·         Forgetfulness and disorganization

·         Inability to focus

·         Poor judgment

·         Being pessimistic or seeing only the negative side

Behavioral symptoms of stress include:

·         Changes in appetite -- either not eating or eating too much

·         Procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities

·         Increased use of alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes

·         Exhibiting more nervous behaviors, such as nail biting, fidgeting, and pacing

Those are just the symptoms that you could be feeling at any given stressful moment, the more serious and damaging problems occur when there are periods of prolonged stress. Those consequences include:

·         Mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and personality disorders

·         Cardiovascular disease, including heart disease, high blood pressure, abnormal heart rhythms, heart attacks, and stroke

·         Obesity and other eating disorders

·         Menstrual problems

·         Sexual dysfunction, such as impotence and premature ejaculation in men and loss of sexual desire in both men and women

·         Skin and hair problems, such as acne, psoriasis, and eczema, and permanent hair loss

·         Gastrointestinal problems, such as GERD, gastritis, ulcerative colitis, and irritable colon

So, here is where you would usual read about the “useful tips” that someone has for you in how to deal with stress… well, I am not going to do that. Whatever I say will work for some (if any) but not for others and, honestly, it depends on the stressor, situation, and individual. Sometimes I just stopped giving half a crap about while other things I have had to cut back on. In the end, it all comes down to what calms you regardless of what other people think… go to the range, play golf, take pictures, write, drive, paint, etc. I can’t tell you what will work for you. I know what works for me and that was hard enough to find.

However, I will say that you need to be aware of stress and whether it is effecting you. Also make sure to look out for your family, friends, coworkers and make sure that they don’t head down this path. Just be there for others and listen. What can also be helpful is a simple invitation to join you when you are looking to release your own stress (get your mind out of the gutter you dirty people). Sometimes this can be beneficial to both of you. I guess you could consider that my ‘useless tip’ for you, free of charge.

Plagued By The Blank Screen

As you may have noticed, lately I have been posting late at night in an attempt to keep the daily blog streak going. This is not ideal but they are getting up and that is the real task at hand for me because the simple purpose of this blog has always been to just keep writing.

The common sense rational is that if you want to be a writer, keep writing. Sometimes you will produce something to be incredibly proud of while other times you will fall flat. No one gets it right one hundred percent of the time and I am choosing to do so publicly.

Another hazard that every writer faces at some point in time is “writer’s block”. This has been my burden as of late and has caused the delays in putting up posts at a more ideal time early in the morning. But I am determined to break through the wall and return to the level of productivity that I am more accustomed.

Many of you know that this situation is one that has many causes including illness, lack of sleep, mental preoccupation, laziness, and limited time. While any of these factors can be overcome they all cause a slowing or, sometimes, freezing of the writing process. Unfortunately, I have been juggling all of the above in my attempt to keep this blog going.

How I have been able to do this I honestly don’t have an answer that would explain it completely. All I have done is write. I keep writing and just try to form quasi lucent thoughts that hopefully at least a few people will be able to follow. I have had to make it a selfish process where I am writing to think things through for myself. This is why there may be one topic being addressed in the beginning of the post and something completely different being discussed by the end.  

Having a topic at hand is another way to combat the drudges of disassembling a creative roadblock. When I started this blog I want to take things day by day and have spontaneous posts about things that have happened, strange occurrences, random thoughts, etc. That lasted about three days before I started working on a list of ideas and events on my calendar. Having that list has given me direction on a daily basis and has saved me from starting with a completely blank screen. Sometimes all it takes is a quick idea at the top of the page to get things going. It still required a lot of work but it is definitely easier getting to point B when you know where to locate point A.

Overall, I guess it just proves that creative stubbornness can sometimes be a good thing. Taking the approach of getting your thoughts down no matter what is essential in staving off what can lead to a severing of the connection between your brain and the page. This is when writing becomes work but it is what needs to be done if you want to return to creative state that is free flowing and fun. Sometimes you have to work at something before it becomes enjoyable (again).

Friends With Benefits

When trying to keep a budget and cut costs there is a small group of friends that are always there to help me out… membership cards and coupon. Whether its groceries or office supplies, oil changes or admission fees, I am always looking for ways to reduce the price of items and services. Sometimes I am able to save a little, sometimes I save a lot, and occasionally I can either get something for free or make money purchasing it.

No, I am not one of those extreme coupon people on TLC although I do get a kick out of watch that show. I simply take about 20 minutes each week and go through the circulars, mailings, and emails that I get, clip or copy them, and put them in an envelope. That’s it. It doesn’t take much effort at all and that basic process, combined with the free membership cards, usually averages about a thirty percent savings at the super market every week.

Over the course of the year, with regard to total dollars, that is the most significant chunk of my savings. However, there are other areas where I can save a significant amount at a much higher percentage. The most common of which are office supplies. Thanks to Staples, I am able to save anywhere between 50-75% on anything ranging from printers to paper to bottled water. This is also the place where they have paid me to buy supplies.

Again, this is very simple and requires minimal effort. What usually happens is that they will promote a 100% rebate offer for a product (most recently it happened to be 4x6 photo paper). So, if you are willing to wait a month for reimbursement they will essentially give you the product for free and credit your rewards account for the purchase. But you can take it a step further. By utilizing a coupon that takes a percentage off your total purchase (rebate items are not sale items so they are not exempt) you can essentially get a rebate back for more than you paid for the product.

Of course, as I have previously written about, sometimes I come across free items and free contests. If it’s free, and I don’t have to set aside time to do it, I am definitely interested. No time, money, or effort is a great, and rare, combination.

The other side to this cost saving equation is where some effort is definitely required. Usually, this is when you are looking for a specific item or brand and you have to shop around to find the best price. There is a simple way to ensure success: know the price match policies. You can look around and think you found the best price but, sometimes, you may forget to check a certain store or maybe that item goes on sale the following week. It’s a great safety net that can put money back into your pocket.

One last thing to remember is that while the savings on any given day or on any particular item may not seem like much it really adds up. Keep track, a rough estimate is fine, on how much money is left in your pocket by taking the time to pay attention to prices and using the system to your advantage. You would be surprised how quickly the dollars add up by simply investing a little effort and even less time. Or think about it this way… how much are you saving during an average week? How much time are you putting into this? With those two figures in hand, what is the hourly rate you are getting paid?

Let me, and all who happen to read this, know of your experiences. How do you save money? Where do you find the best deals? What is the best deal you have ever gotten on an item?