TMI Tuesday: At Least It Hasn’t Hit The Fan

Yellow is the new white. 

Ever since we brought our son home from the hospital he has been pretty consistent at not doing one thing in his sleep… pooping. Of course, while there hasn’t been any mess there has been a fairly large amount of auditory pollution but that is a topic that I have already covered. But the simple, and kind of amazing, fact is that our son learned early on that it is not comfortable to sleep in your own poo. With that said, he does not abide by a rather famous saying… he does crap where he eats.

The eruption usually occurs late in the morning or early in the afternoon. The one commonality is that it happens either during or immediately after he has his bottle. Until recently there was little doubt when this happened at the colonic alarm would usually sound. However, recently our son has employed the sniper crap… you don’t realize what has happened until it is too late.

Because of these sneak attacks, there have been many casualties along the way. It is common for our son, like many babies his age, to wear a multitude of outfits during the day. While we have gotten pretty used to this routine there are occasions when we just have to take a step back, take a deep breath (not through our noses), and proceed with the usual hazmat procedures. Pretty astounding considering he is already wearing size four diapers.

And it never fails that the worst of these atomic tests occur outside of the house. Sometimes in the car and other times while we are eating in a restaurant (among other locations). Always concluding with a mischievous smirk. The latest occurred while having lunch on Saturday before we headed out looking for a new car. It was bad… it was the first time that we had to really clean the car seat.

In the end, his development and early habits are different than we could have ever anticipated. He is so far beyond where we ever expected him to be and I am excited to see how fast he continues to pick things up. Hopefully, this is a foreshadowing for an easy potty training but I am really not counting on that one. Until then we will just have to continue our vigilance when we sit down at a restaurant and hope that wind doesn’t carry the fall out across the dining room.

TMI Tuesday: Squishy Doesn’t Mean Comfy!

Every night I look forward to crawling into bed onto the slightly squishy mattress and enjoying the comfort for a few minutes before falling asleep. Even when away from home, the same basic routine applies and while I prefer the firmer memory foam at home the plush squishiness on the road is sometimes a welcomed change. Regardless of where I am, it is this little moment of relaxation that ensures a long and restful slumber.

Our son has pretty much the same routine as his daddy. However, there is such a thing as too squishy which he proved early on within the first month of being home. It is this experience which has impacted the way that he has slept ever since.

It all started in mid-March when we hear his intense cry piercing through a rather pungent odor. It was clear that the mess in his diaper was not conducive to his ability to sleep which by this time was usually 5 or more hours at a time. When he was brought over to the changing table we couldn’t really blame him for being uncomfortable. Baby’s first night of swamp butt has stuck with him.  

Since that night our son has, for the most part, refused to poo while he is asleep at night. Naps seem to be a big exception to the rule. Basically, out son just doesn’t like the feeling of laying in his own stinky squishiness and would rather hold it in until morning.

This brings about an obvious drawback because the morning can be a rather vicious time of day. It is when everything seems to wake up and in the midst of his morning stretch everything is let loose. The people at Folgers didn’t take this into account when considering what might be the most dominant smell to perfume the morning.

Unfortunately, we have also found that while he still doesn’t like the feeling, he doesn’t quite have the mastery of his bowels when sitting in the car seat. Those seem to be the most interesting occurrences which usually result in the changing of outfits and a strong urge to give him a quick bath. All the while, pooping is fair game when someone is holding him.

While it smells, it’s messy, and it can be annoying when it happens in a newly sealed diaper, you can’t help but laugh when he gives you that cheeky little smirk that he has already managed to master. He may crap, and crap a lot, but he is so darn cute while doing it that it doesn’t seem that bad… at least in hind sight. And the loud loads are just funny.

TMI Tuesday: Feed Me!

Every once in a while our son can be rather fussy. During those moments he can cry for a myriad of reasons but usually it revolves around food. Sometimes he is hungry while other times he is just tired. He is an odd little monkey.

Watching my wife feed our child is something beautiful to see. Those of you who have children know what I am talking about. However, there are some moments of humor during those moments that don’t take away from the experience they just add some color to the process. This is even more pronounced when someone other than his mom tries to feed him.

Regardless of who is feeding him the expressions on his face are an interesting study. I’m sure he would fit right in at the Actor’s Studio. Sometimes it can be a subtle smirk while other times it is a slight crinkle as he shifts and stretches. And, of course, there are the red faced moments when you know that an eruption is about to happen.

That is the other part… the sound effects. There is a certain amount of squeaking, grunting, and occasional burping that takes place (usually while his arms and/or legs are going) which is to be expected. There are also the time when he decides to try and communicate by stringing together those grunts and squeaks while gesturing. And, let’s not forget the aforementioned explosions that add a certain punctuation to the process. Let’s just say that our child is rather advanced in this area.

When someone else besides his mom tries to feed him there are a few other things that happen. First, he will give you the look of “what the heck are you doing?” This is followed by a quick look around for his mommy and sometimes a squint and split second cry just before the bottle is put in his mouth. Sometimes he fights the feeding while other times his hunger just takes over. But once he starts, it is pretty much the same regardless of who is feeding him at this point. However, he does seem to enjoy seeing the reaction on faces when he blasts one… mommy has gotten pretty used to it after all.

So the feeding time with baby can be interesting but mostly it is entertaining. This is especially true when he give you a surprised look of “that came out of me?” after he lets go of a good burp or fart. That is probably a look that I will always remember. Funny how the more “interesting” moments and expressions stick with you.