The Family Masonic Bible

There have been countless times when I have been sitting at my desk in the lodge room looking up and down the sidelines wondering where my grandfather used to sit during meetings. It is a connection that I have with my grandfather despite never having the chance of getting to know him while growing up. Lodge is something that we have in common and I am always reminded of that when I see his ring on my finder and, now, when I look at the family Bible which I have been using recently for my genealogy research.

When I was raised just over three years ago, my mom pulled me aside and handed me my grandfather’s Masonic ring. She knew that I would appreciate and take care of it. She also knew that I was one of the few people in the family who would actually use it as there are not many masons in my family. The ring meant a lot to my grandfather, it means a lot to my mom, and it certainly means a lot to me. Now, just over three years later, my mom again pulled me aside and told me that she wanted to give me my grandfather’s Masonic Bible. The ironic thing is that my grandfather was presented his Bible just over three years after being raised and now I am being presented with that same bible just over three years since I was raised.

Not only was this the Bible presented to him by his lodge but it has also served as the family Bible with my grandparent’s marriage having been recorded in its pages and my grandmother having recorded many of the births and deaths throughout her life. Between the covers there are names across many generations from the death of my great great grandfather all the way through the birth of my niece... my name can be found in these pages too. All written in my grandmother’s hand.

I remember seeing my grandmother with the blue binding on her lap flipping through the book and pulling out the papers tucked between the pages. This became a more and more regular occurrence toward the end of her life. It was also one of the few things that my mom wanted to hold on to after my grandmother passed away. I know how much this Bible meant to my grandmother and I know how much it means to my mom. I am being entrusted with its safe keeping and it is not something I take lightly. After all, this is not just an item that resonates with me as a mason, it is a connection to my grandfather, my grandmother, and my mom.

Sunday Search: Familiar Faces

When my mom and I were looking through some of the family photos last weekend there were a number of times when we could easily see some other family members in the faces of the ancestors who have long since left us. And it was interesting as to when it would hit us as there was really no guarantee whether the person’s name or the current counterpart would be thought of first. At the same time, there wasn’t any certainty as to which one of us would make the connection either.

In some instances my mom would tell me who someone was in the photo and then follow up with something along the lines of “I didn’t realize how much your cousin looks like her.” There were other times when I would see either an aunt, uncle, or cousin in one of the people and as soon as my mom told me who they were it made complete sense. And, of course, there were various combinations of this throughout our time with the album on the table in front of us.

While it is certainly clear to those who know my family, I get much of my looks from my father’s side of the family. However, in looking through the photos with my mom I could see a little piece of myself in some of the pictures. I noticed a couple of little things like my hair line and posture but what really stood out to me, which I knew of before, was the handwriting that was on the backs of many of the photos. While my looks may be predominantly from my dad’s side, my handwriting is, without question, from my mom’s side.

Sometimes these ties are really what make looking through old photos in particular so interesting. On the surface you are putting faces to names but on a completely different level you are finding yourself and many of your other family members in little pieces of the past. It just goes to show that your family, your whole tree, plays a big role in who you are regardless of what you might think. This, of course, is in addition to the obvious genetic traits that we carry. Sometimes it is in the simple things like looks but sometimes it can be in other ways like handwriting, the way you hold yourself, and your demeanor.

For better or worse, I kind of have a mix of all those things. There are little pieces from both sides that I carry with me every day. And I am certain that there are many other similarities that I have yet to discover with some of my ancestors. So you can look at genealogy as pulling together the family history or you can look at it as finding pieces of yourself. For me, it is definitely a little of both.

Throwing Things Together

With my wife’s day booked with taking care of our baby and a myriad of other things, the usual routine when I get home after work is to spend time with our son and to get dinner ready. It is sometimes a difficult decision as to what to do first… should I hold my son for a little bit or get dinner in the oven and hold him afterward or do I hold him before and after? I am a sucker for my son so it is usually the third option.

Thankfully, I am able to throw something decent together pretty fast. This is largely because I paid attention (although it may not have seemed like it at the time) to my mom when I was growing up watching her pull together dinner when she got home from work. While I am not nearly as good as she is, I do my best to get things done quickly and everyone fed at a reasonable time. Given my work schedule, reasonable is any time before 8:00 pm.

My wife is still baffled at times by how fast I am able to get things done (not on chicken strip nights but other evenings) but it is something that I have become used to over the years. It all comes down to the simple fact of knowing what things go together and using as few ingredients and steps as possible. I know how to follow a recipe and still do on occasion, but that takes longer and during the work week I don’t have the extra time. This is also why I don’t bake.

At the same time, I guess that you could say that I do have a few ‘recipes’ as there are combinations that I use regularly using the measuring technique of shake, dump, sprinkle, and cover. So far, nothing has been really bad. Some meals are more unique than others but they have at least been edible. It is all about knowing what flavors go together and it works for me just don’t ask me for exact measurements.  

It is a routine and a way of doing things that continues to work for us. Sure there are nights when I pick something up but knowing what ingredients work well together gives us the option. Maybe if I enjoyed cooking I would spend those few extra minutes but at this point I doubt it as the more time I spend in the kitchen, the more time I am away from my smiling baby boy. So I am just going to continue throwing things together.

First Mother’s Day

My wife and I have both been looking forward to today and dreading it at the same time. There has been a lot that has happened since the last time that the calendar noted this holiday. There is a lot that we have to celebrate and a lot that we are missing on this day. To my wife’s credit, which says a lot about her strength, she decided to focus on the joy of the day and I did my best to make that a reality (even in the face of a few trying moments). Like many things these days, time is moving both fast and slow. It seemed to take forever for this day to come but it also caught us a little off guard.

For the past couple of months we had been anticipating the good and bad of the day. In an effort to focus on the former we decided to get away for a couple of days. I nearly dropped the ball on this one but managed to make it happen by booking a room early last week (more on the trip itself in my next post). It was also late in the week when I was finally able to order flowers for my mom (for which we got a call when they were delivered yesterday)... ProFlowers.com kind of saved me on that one. We both owe a lot to our mom’s and now that we have a son we understand even more the importance of this day.

We were a little apprehensive about the overnight stay at a hotel with the baby given that this was his first night away from home but, in the end, the entire trip went better than we could have ever hoped. There wasn’t a single moment of crying for much of the getaway and he seemed to be happy to explore a new place and simply spend time with his mommy and daddy. Of course, it could be that maybe our son is already learning that you don’t mess with mommy on Mother’s Day.

While we did our best to think of all the good things that have happened and the fact that it is the first Mother’s Day that we have celebrated with our son, I couldn’t help but think about the one thing that I couldn’t give my wife today. I didn’t buy a card or flowers as there wasn’t really anything that I could find that made sense… at least not this year. I could have bought a “First Mother’s Day” card but it was also a first for another reason… one that I couldn’t change. It was a hard day but a great day as well. I just wish that I could have given her the gift that she really wanted today.

Mother’s Day Isn’t Limited By The Calendar

There are some holidays that just seem to get overlooked. No matter how much effort we put into celebrating the day, it just doesn’t seem to be enough. I have always felt that way about Mother’s Day as there is so much that my mom has done for me and so much support that she has given to me and my siblings that I don’t know if there is anything that we could do to really show how much I appreciate everything that she has given to me and the love that has never wavered no matter how crazy my life plans tend to be.

While we have this day that is prepackaged to honor our mothers, the origins of the day really show the love that most of us feel and the kind of honor that we wish to bestow upon the wonderful women that raised us. When you read about the founding of the holiday on Wikipedia you will get my point:

The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she had started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, "the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world." Anna's mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who had cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.

Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, several states officially recognized Mother's Day, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers. In a thank-you note to Wilson, Jarvis wrote of a “great Home Day of our country for sons and daughters to honor their mothers and fathers and homes in a way that will perpetuate family ties and give emphasis to true home life.” Jarvis became critical, however, of the commercialization of the day.

So, while I will do what I can on this day to show my mom how much I love her and appreciate her, I will keep working every day to make sure I convey that beyond the confines of a single block on the calendar. I know too many people who rely on holidays and only reach out when there is another reason to call their mom. I don’t ever want to end up like one of those people (although I think there were times in my life when I did). There really doesn’t need to be a reason to talk, to make sure you remain connected, and to let you mom know (even if it is not directly stated) that you love her.

My Mom Is Now Unemployed

Wild times at the retirement after party!

Last night was an interesting one for my family. It was my mom’s unemployment, I mean retirement, party. It was a great night to finally see my mom as the center of attention. My family knows how amazing she is and it is nice to know that other people outside of the family see that too.

The last few years I have really come to appreciate what my mom has done during her working life. It is not easy to stay in the same industry doing the same kind of work day after day. And to have only worked for two companies in over 45 years is nearly impossible.

I have always been, and unfortunately I never say it enough, proud of my parents and appreciative of all they have given us and how hard they have worked to do so. While my dad will probably never fully retire, it is nice to see my mom able to finally take a break and change gears. Maybe some relaxation is on the horizon.

So now my mom gets to venture into uncharted territory… unemployment. Albeit the best kind, it is still a drastic change from the daily grind. With the next six months planned out it should be interesting to see the transition from a long standing routine to the new, freer, schedule.

I hope this means more time doing what she wants to do rather than what she has to do. All I want is the best for my family especially my mom. After all, you had to work AND raise us so I know you definitely earned your retirement!

Mom, I wish you all the best in your retirement and I hope you take the time to do anything and everything you have been meaning to do and never did. All I asked is that you do one thing… drag dad’s butt to New Hope! Love, Sean