TMI Tuesday: Leaving Something Behind

Random photo found online of the old school method.

This past weekend with all the stories that we were told about my wife’s family it made me appreciate a couple of things. The first is that my wife and I have done a lot of research about our families and now know more than we ever did growing up. In fact, it is safe to say, that we have more information, stories, and documents now than at any other point in recent generations. Second, I am so glad that I have so much that I have written down about the lives of my family and my own life as well. All of this will be passed down and, hopefully, our son will carry that knowledge with him and pass it down as well.

While there have been time when I have fallen behind on this blog (like now), today marks the 1200^th consecutive daily post that I have written and posted. This is by far my longest writing project and, honestly, there is no end in sight at this point. There are certain to be slow times again in the future and periods when it is difficult to record my thoughts but they will get out and they will be recorded in these posts.

Life has changed drastically since I made the decision to blog again and while there have certainly been challenges along the way, life keeps getting better (and busier) with each passing post. Looking back there are a lot of things that I would probably change but, at the same time, there are many stories, essays, and rants that I am glad that I took the time to record. After all, those are the posts and opinions, when taken together, that will reveal who I am to my son.

However, there are definitely some things that I still have to work on as many of the things written have been rather pointed, some are poorly written, and others just don’t make any darn sense in one way or another. Of course, this is in addition to the fact that there is a slight (and sometimes not so slight) egocentricity that can be found in a few pieces here and there. Hey, I never said I was perfect and, to a certain extent, I am glad that these flaws are present in my writing.

In the end, this is who I am, what I do, and what I leave behind. Like it or not, take it or leave it, clichéd and creative. If this is the only thing that I am able to leave behind I am okay with that. And, just think, this is only the beginning.  

TMI Tuesday: Appointments

It seems that whenever we take our son to the doctor there is always another appointment to be scheduled. Thankfully, he is actually pretty good in the waiting room and even on the examination table so long as we are there and there is plenty of tissue paper to play with. However, the service that we have received from his current pediatrician has fallen far short of the expectations of quality care. The last two appointments are indicative of this level of service.

With our overachieving son deciding to cut about a half dozen teeth at the same time, we have run into a few bumps both during the night and throughout the day. It has interrupted his sleep patterns which have always been pretty good and it has had an impact on his eating. While he is still healthy and generally happy he does have his moments and once things had continued for some time we decided to bring him in to see the doctor. Keep in mind that this was after we called and were told to bring him in to see said doctor if things continued.

While I am not usually a stickler for these things when I make an appointment to see the doctor, especially when acting upon their own advice, don’t give us a hard time making the appointment and make sure that we see the doctor not just someone you call “doctor”. On top of that, it would be nice if this “doctor” would follow the same plan as the actual doctor instead of contradicting almost everything that we have been told and arguing with us each time we said anything.

That was just the first example. The second is the fact that one of the nurses, who too frequently handle the appointments, insisted that we take our son to an Ophthalmologist because he would probably need either glasses or a temporary eye patch. I honestly never noticed a lazy eye but we made the appointment to get it checked out and my wife and I spent some time trying to figure out how to deal with this new situation as we waited for the scheduled day to arrive. A couple of weeks ago, we took our son to see the specialist and it didn’t take but maybe 10 seconds for him to tell us that there was nothing wrong.

It wasn’t even a question… he found nothing. And, while he wasn’t about to say anything directly, we had a little conversation about how we should have probably never been sent there. Nice to have a professional back up the opinion that I have already been forming in my head about the current office. Needless to say, it has not been an easy experience and continued to be a difficult process simply getting someone on the phone at times as well as every time we try to schedule an appointment. Goes to show, sometimes the most well-meaning opinions and advice that you received about a place beforehand are, at the very least, subjective and experience is what really matters.

Not Welcome!

Last night my wife and I decided to again take our apartment building up on an offer that was made to us shortly after moving in… we decided to attend a board meeting. We had attended a meeting sometime during our first few months after being encouraged to do so by board members and management but haven’t been to one since. While we are not shareholders, the meetings have always been promoted as open to all residents but we really had no real motivation to attend until this month. Having handed in our request to terminate out lease last week and no hearing anything back as of yet we were hoping to at least get an answer.

Before heading down to the basement, we went up and finally visited with a couple of residents that we are very fond of. Regardless of the issues that we have had with the building, there are many great people that still live there as well as many that work there too. What we were able to confirm is that we were not the only people that have had issues and do not agree with how things are being managed. And this was coming from a former President of the board.

After catching up for about 20 minutes we all piled on the elevator with someone else heading to the meeting. We walked into the room and quietly shuffled into the back row not saying a word to anyone. We were there to listen not to cause a ruckus (other residents had already planned on doing so making there no need for us to say anything). My wife and I had just settled in and were chatting about other things that we needed to get done when the current president made her way to the back of the room.

It didn’t come as a surprise that we were asked to leave. After all, I didn’t bow and kiss her ring when we walked in the door. The new rule (declaration might be a better word) is that the meetings are only for shareholders… a complete change from our last experience nearly three years ago. Again, we were not there to make a scene so we got up, let our friends know what was going on, and made our way back to the apartment without any answers or even an acknowledgement of our formal request.

For now, we have to keep waiting until we receive notification. However, given the length of time that has passed, I am starting to plan on taking alternative action with regard to our lease. Nothing drastic, just putting all of the hard facts on the table and allowing them to speak for themselves. I guess we will just have to keep preparing and see what happens from here.

Another Alarming Evening

View of the cluster from outside.

It was a busy weekend for the two of us as we both needed to just get out of the apartment and do something. We spent all day on Saturday driving around enjoying some new scenery, running errands, and trying to stay warm. It was a slower pace than usual but we still got a number of things done. Today was much of the same for the first part of the day until we got to the point that we just needed to close the door, make some dinner, and try to catch up on all the emails and projects that filled our computers.

While the plan was simple it was not one that we were able to stick with as not long after finishing dinner the fire alarm began screeching throughout the building. Unfortunately, this was not a surprise at it had been nearly a month since the last time we were forced to grab out coats and sit on the bench outside. After spending about 10 minutes trying to get our son to calm down a bit and once the fire department turned off the alarm, I wandered into the lobby to try and listen in for an update (even though I pretty much knew what had happened). Unable to hear anything but with the all clear from the fire chief, we headed back to our apartment to try and resume our routine.

Just as we had begun recovering from the evening detour and had resumed our plans for the night, that same familiar sound pierced the apartment walls. At this point I knew for certain that the same faulty sensor on the 4^th floor was not fixed and causing the interruption to the evening. However, even with the false alarm, we repeated the steps from an hour prior, grabbed our coats, and made our way out the door… again.

Moments later, my wife and I were sitting on the bench trying to calm down the baby as we watched the same fire crew pull in (with their lights off this time) and go through the same routine that they had just completed a half our ago. Granted, they were much grumpier this time as they too knew what the problem was. So, we waited another 30 minutes, watching the commotion as the President of the Board finally came down to the lobby (she was nowhere to be found when the alarm went off the first time) and began pointing her finger at the fire chief. I give the Union fire department credit as they remained calm despite the frustration of the situation. 

As the trucks once again began packing things up, I ventured into the lobby where I finally heard the confirmation as to the cause of the evening disturbances. With the lobby now clearing and the trucks pulling away, I decided to ask a few questions regarding the situation and what is going to be done moving forward to prevent another reoccurrence (especially since the fire department already stated that they will not respond to another false alarm without levying a heavy fine). Simply and polite questions where quickly responded to by the President with condescending venom.

I can’t say I was surprised by this reaction as I was not there to kiss her ring so she wanted nothing to do with me and because she didn’t think of those questions or options then they must be wrong. So, we exchanged a few words and I left the lobby simply confirming a common opinion about her which I will not elaborate upon at this juncture but you can figure it out. This is just another example of why things aren’t managed properly in the building, why the residential door keeps revolving, and the reason that small issues have become big expensive problems. I’m just glad it wasn’t another leak or we would still be dealing with it this morning.

The Education Question In Pennsylvania

Last week I saw two completely separate items in my email arrive in my inbox almost at the same time. While unrelated, they played off of one another in a rather interesting way. The first email was one of many from WalletHub about their most recent national ranking. The subject this time was “The Best and Worst States for Teachers” which immediately had me wondering, based on much of the biased media coverage I have been reading for months, how low Pennsylvania would rank on this list.

To my surprise, they ranked Pennsylvania at #2 based on a variety of variables such as salary, employment opportunity, quality of schools, ratios, and spending per student. The facts supported what I have been saying all along that education in the Commonwealth is not in the sorry state that the Democratic Party would have you believe. This leads me to the other email that arrived just moments later.

The debate the previous night between Governor Corbett and Tom Wolf (in sheep’s clothing) was full of the faulty statistics that have been bandied about in many of the attack ads by the desperate challenger. No one can argue that the education system in the commonwealth needs to be fixed but funding is something that is not lacking and more money is not the solution to those problems. Four things are slowly crippling the education system especially in areas still considered to be economically depressed: unrealistic educational expectations, wasteful spending, an unsustainable pension system, and the financial black hole known as common core.

Also playing a supporting role in the current situation is the evaporating federal funding so heavily relied upon by the previous administration. Even if you only focus on the stimulus numbers, Wolf’s claims don’t hold up. Even the local media has picked up on this fact as was reported on philly.com, “If the federal stimulus money is not counted, it is true: Corbett has increased the state's annual funding for basic education - to $5.5 billion in 2013-14…”

As was reported in another article, “how you count pensions, charter reimbursement and federal stimulus money makes a big difference.” What it comes down to is that you can’t believe the BS that is floating through the radio of teachers complaining about no toilet paper in the schools and blaming the Governor for it. The money is there, more money than ever before, but little is left once the nearly billion and a half pension system takes a chunk, administrative and school inefficiencies chip away a few more dollars, common core requirements suck the marrow out of the funding, and dollars are wasted on thinking all students are the same and all students need to go into higher education.

Unfortunately, the billion dollar illusion still seems to work in the public and in the media despite the curtain having been pulled back and the mirrors broken. People and school districts these days pretty much have the same mentality in that they don’t want to take responsibility for their own shortcomings. So, instead of staying on course and slowly increasing spending at a reasonable rate while trying to make the changes necessary for educational growth and success in the commonwealth, we face the very real possibility of higher income, sales, and real estate taxes under a new administration that will piss away the money that we are forced to give them (regardless of your income). Of course, you can prevent that from happening come November.   

Someone Needs A Time Out!

In the midst of the Ebola news that was swirling around last week and dominating all the nightly news programs there were countless statements made, ‘experts’ interviewed, and reports made of possible cases. There was also a variety of social media posts both attempting to find any possible, badly timed, humor and also the never fail conspiracies.

It should come as no surprise that one of the most controversial pieces that has been circulating throughout the main stream media comes from, no surprise, Ann Coulter. While I do give her credit for unflinchingly sharing her opinion with the world it really isn’t helping anyone and it is probably doing more harm than good… especially for my party. Frankly, this woman needs to come to terms with the fact that she is the flashpoint for anti-conservatism amongst the liberal media and learn how to shut the heck up.

Contrary to the earlier paragraphs in Coulter’s article, I don’t believe in criticizing those who are using their talents to help people throughout the world. Those people are dedicating their lives to better the world and that is an admirable calling and they should be respected for that. To attempt to lay waste to their life’s work is indeed in poor taste and it makes one wonder, what has Ann Coulter done to better this world? I would argue that she has done nothing but prance like a peacock in the field trying to call attention to herself while providing the Democratic Party with all the ammunition they need to misguide the public. In Fact, she may be the Ebola of the Republican Party.

However, just like the study of such horrendous outbreaks there is always something fascinating that can be found in the chaos. While poorly phrased, there were a few lines that did stand out to me as having some semblance of sanity: “America is the most consequential nation on Earth, and in desperate need of God at the moment. If America falls, it will be a thousand years of darkness for the entire planet. / Not only that, but it's our country. Your country is like your family. We're supposed to take care of our own first.”

While grandiose in language, the underlying idea behind those words make tremendous sense. While world causes need our attention, we can’t lose sight of what is happening here at home and the problems that permeate society. Both may be equally important but if the choice has to be made dedicate your life to making your home just a little better, improve your community in some small way, make the effort to help your neighbor. Set the example at home first. If we work on solving the problems around us now we will be able to better serve each other and the world in the future.

Draining My Patience

I know, your already jealous with anticipation.

With a busy day planned (as has been previously mentioned), I was up and out of the apartment early so that I could get to the office in time to pull some plans together an prep for a couple of calls. Nothing like a full day ahead of you to ensure that your entire morning routine is completed in about 15 or 20 minutes… showered, dressed, packed, and coffee poured. As is a known rarity lately, I was actually running on time and was on track to get everything accomplished on my list by the time I went back to sleep that night.

Just like the day before, Wednesday, my phone betrayed my progress at the office. As I read the text from my wife I knew that it wasn’t going to be an early evening. In my rush to get out of the apartment in the morning I didn’t notice the fact that the shower drain was completely blocked and so when my wife got home, looking forward to a relaxing shower, she found herself in anything but a relaxing situation as the water level was still a quarter of the way up the side of the tub. This wasn’t the first time so toward the end of the work day we agreed to meet out for dinner and I would pick up a couple of bottles of Drano on my way home.

When we got home, ceiling still in shambles by the way, I headed to the bathroom, made a quick and unsuccessful attempt to snake the drain, and poured about half a bottle of the clog dissolvent in the tub. Per the instructions I waited about thirty minutes and checked the progress. With the water level unchanged it as time to escalate the attack so I pulled off the plate below the spout and attempted to run the snake down the trap. Once again, unsuccessful. Finally, I poured the other half of the bottle directly down the trap and walked out of the bathroom to calm my exhausted wife while we waited the thirty additional minutes. These apartment issues have really been a drain on my patience (embrace the pun).  

Thankfully this final attempt was indeed successful and we were able to resume with our usual, but slightly adjusted, evening routine. An hour until midnight and I was finally sitting down at the computer to get some work done. Not a great end to the day especially given the number of things on my to do list and the fact that I have to crawl out of bed and be awake enough to participate in a conference call at 7am. I guess it is a good thing that I am able to function on four hours of sleep for an entire day. I am sure that skill acquired during college and, more recently, working the overnight shift will continue to pay dividends.  

What Are Your Symptoms?

And both will kill you over time!

Stress is something that we all deal with on a daily basis on one form or another. Most of this encounter this little monster at the office while others deal with numerous outside factors that impact the level of stress in their life. Lately, life seems to be shuffling the grab bag and pouring out numerous stressors all at one time from all different areas. While I am a firm proponent that stress in moderation is a good thing that can help with motivation, too much stress, especially on a consistent basis rather than the normal ebb and flow, has the exact opposite effect.

Unfortunately, stress is frequently overlooked when someone isn’t feeling right. I have seen it time and again in countless friends and coworkers and have experienced a few symptoms here and there in my own life at different points and for various reasons. It is with this underdiagnoses in mind that I want to bring to your attention (or remind you) of the detrimental symptoms and effects that stress can have on you. While by no means complete, here is the list from WebMD:

What Are The Symptoms of Stress?

Stress can affect all aspects of your life, including your emotions, behaviors, thinking ability, and physical health. No part of the body is immune. But, because people handle stress differently, symptoms of stress can vary. Symptoms can be vague and may be the same as those caused by medical conditions. So it is important to discuss them with your doctor. You may experience any of the following symptoms of stress.

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Emotional symptoms of stress include:

·         Becoming easily agitated, frustrated, and moody

·         Feeling overwhelmed, like you are losing control or need to take control

·         Having difficulty relaxing and quieting your mind

·         Feeling bad about yourself (low self-esteem), lonely, worthless, and depressed

·         Avoiding others

Physical symptoms of stress include:

·         Low energy

·         Headaches

·         Upset stomach, including diarrhea, constipation, and nausea

·         Aches, pains, and tense muscles

·         Chest pain and rapid heartbeat

·         Insomnia

·         Frequent colds and infections

·         Loss of sexual desire and/or ability

·         Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ear, cold or sweaty hands and feet

·         Dry mouth and difficulty swallowing

·         Clenched jaw and grinding teeth

Cognitive symptoms of stress include:

·         Constant worrying

·         Racing thoughts

·         Forgetfulness and disorganization

·         Inability to focus

·         Poor judgment

·         Being pessimistic or seeing only the negative side

Behavioral symptoms of stress include:

·         Changes in appetite -- either not eating or eating too much

·         Procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities

·         Increased use of alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes

·         Exhibiting more nervous behaviors, such as nail biting, fidgeting, and pacing

Those are just the symptoms that you could be feeling at any given stressful moment, the more serious and damaging problems occur when there are periods of prolonged stress. Those consequences include:

·         Mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and personality disorders

·         Cardiovascular disease, including heart disease, high blood pressure, abnormal heart rhythms, heart attacks, and stroke

·         Obesity and other eating disorders

·         Menstrual problems

·         Sexual dysfunction, such as impotence and premature ejaculation in men and loss of sexual desire in both men and women

·         Skin and hair problems, such as acne, psoriasis, and eczema, and permanent hair loss

·         Gastrointestinal problems, such as GERD, gastritis, ulcerative colitis, and irritable colon

So, here is where you would usual read about the “useful tips” that someone has for you in how to deal with stress… well, I am not going to do that. Whatever I say will work for some (if any) but not for others and, honestly, it depends on the stressor, situation, and individual. Sometimes I just stopped giving half a crap about while other things I have had to cut back on. In the end, it all comes down to what calms you regardless of what other people think… go to the range, play golf, take pictures, write, drive, paint, etc. I can’t tell you what will work for you. I know what works for me and that was hard enough to find.

However, I will say that you need to be aware of stress and whether it is effecting you. Also make sure to look out for your family, friends, coworkers and make sure that they don’t head down this path. Just be there for others and listen. What can also be helpful is a simple invitation to join you when you are looking to release your own stress (get your mind out of the gutter you dirty people). Sometimes this can be beneficial to both of you. I guess you could consider that my ‘useless tip’ for you, free of charge.