Sunday Search: Mother’s Day And Maiden Names

This Mother’s Day I wanted to discuss an interesting situation that comes about in many of the genealogy conversations that I have with others. Unfortunately, the sentiments that follow are not restricted to those only now just starting their research… I have encountered many knowledgeable family historians that just seem to be stuck in a certain mindset. The issue is rather simple, and appropriate for this day, in that there are too many people only focusing on a fraction of their family history by overlooking the wealth of lineal knowledge that exists in a maiden name.

In several instances lately I have spoken to individuals who can, at great length, discuss the history of their surname and can also speak intelligently about their own mother’s line (and sometimes the lines of their grandmothers). However, that is where there maternal ancestry stops. Once they go back a couple of generations it seems as though they have forgotten that there are multiple paths that we can take into the past through both husbands and wives.

First, let me start with the fact that I am proud to have my mother’s maiden name as part of my own, serving as my middle name. It has allowed me to carry with me the surnames of both of my families and I do my best to remember that each day. Second, now as a father, I better understand the importance of teaching my son about all the families that he represents and I look forward to sharing that knowledge with him. Third, I have explored many of the different lines in my tree weaving between husband and wife and I can attest to the rich tapestry that is revealed when you allow yourself to take this journey.

There is so much more to who we are than simply our male descendants and the surname that we each carry. It is with this in mind that I encourage everyone to not just remember your mothers on this day but all the mothers in your family tree that have each had an impact, large or small, known or unknown, on who you are. Without the women in our family we would not have life… we would not have the layers upon layers of history and the fascinating lacework that is our own family genealogy. Mothers are what make genealogy possible and we should always remember that and honor them by knowing about all sides of the family.

Diners, Spelunking, And More Chocolate

Following a great first day away from home and a surprisingly uneventful night of sleep, we woke up early on Mother’s Day knowing that there were a few things that we wanted to see before we headed home. In addition to our room including tickets to Hershey Gardens, we were also given tickets to the Milton Hershey Story Museum which is where we ventured off to after we checked out and packed the car. Only about 5 minutes from the lodge, the museum was in downtown Hershey were we were able to park for free just behind the building. Having not eaten yet, we pushed back our exploration of the exhibits and instead grabbed a small breakfast at the café attached to the lobby (nothing special about the food here).

The museum itself was an interesting timeline of the Hershey story which covered the entire life of the entrepreneur and the legacy that still thrives today. For those of us that enjoy reading all the information posted with the artifacts, it is a nice place to stop while in the area. Of course, being surrounded by cocoa, our son decided to make some chocolate of his own and he wasn’t too happy about the results. Needless to say, the second half of the museum went by much further than the first half. However, we were still able to find our son a job on the first floor so at least we have already started planning for the future.

With our son now a little fresher than before, we picked up a few little items at the gift shop and ventured back out into the lobby where we had our son’s picture taken and we discussed the rest of the day. We were already planning on heading over to Indian Echo Caverns but we decided to stop by a diner for some lunch before our little spelunking adventure. While it fell short of the food from the night before, the lunch we had at the Soda Jerk Diner was pretty darn good (and it was a heck of a lot cheaper). The home made Moussaka is something that shouldn’t be passed up if you happen to stop in (save room for salad before and ice cream after which are included in the price).

From the diner we drove over to the caves just around the corner. While the wait was a little misleading (you can only say 10 more minutes so many times before people get annoyed), the tour was one that I am glad we were finally able to see (this stop has been nearly two years in the making). While there is an interesting story behind all the rooms and tunnels, it is probably best if I just include a variety of picture below that give you a pretty good sense of the spaces and tunnels which we explored during the 45 minute tour.

By the time the tour came to an end, our son was not happy. With all the traveling we had gotten him off of his schedule a bit and he was having nothing of it. Before the rest of the group could block our escape, we scurried up the 71 stairs and walked straight over to the car where we could change him and feed him. It was also a good time for us to rest. Once our son was satiated we got back on the road and began the slow trek back to the house.

Not wanting to make too much progress, too quickly we took the back roads across much of Lancaster County including slow coasting through Ephrata and Lititz. I am sure that my wife would have taken some picture but she was asleep for most of the time. It had been a long day and I would have done the same thing had I been a passenger. As we slowly made our way back east we made one final stop for a slightly early dinner at the Windmill Diner and Family Restaurant. Some place familiar and not too far from home… it was a nice way to end our weekend getaway and our son’s first, albeit short, family trip.

Chocolate, Flowers, And A Full Hotel

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, my wife and I took our son on a little getaway this past weekend. With everything that has happened, we wanted to do something special and get away from everything for just a night. We didn’t want to go too far and we wanted somewhere family friendly were we could walk around. After all, this was his first trip and night away from home so we wanted something a little easier on all of us. That list of simple criteria lead us to Hershey.

Even though I was a little late in scheduling the trip, I got lucky and found a room available at the Hershey Lodge for Saturday night. With the hotel booked, we headed out late Saturday morning amidst the mist enveloping the highway. Just over an hour later and we were checking in at the front desk as the cocoa aroma flowed through the lobby. After a quick lunch at the Bear’s Den (decent burgers but I suggest you have the salt ready) we walked out front, hopped on the free shuttle, and made our way to Hershey Gardens (free tickets included with our room).

Not the greatest view.

The gardens proved to be a nice little walk despite the overcast sky. However, having spent more time at much larger places (i.e. Longwood Gardens) we covered the entire grounds pretty quickly. While not as impressive as many other horticultural attractions it was still a nice walk with a decent variety of plants, paths, and views. Here are just some of the pictures that I took with my phone during our walk (also the one at the beginning of the post):

Now much later in the afternoon, we walked back to the shuttle and enjoyed a nice conversation with the driver as we made our way back to the lodge. After unpacking everything in our room and taking a little break, we spent some time outside with our very happy baby.

It was nice to have the quite time to enjoy the cool breeze and people watch as prom goers and military officers convened at the same time to attend their respective events (this is in addition to the countless little cheerleaders scurrying about the building).

When we walked over to the Hershey Grill afterward, we were nearly turned away by the hostess. Given the busy weekend there was limited seating and we were about to turn around when the manager escorted the three of us to the patio and sat us at a very nice table near the ducks playing in the water fountain. The meal that we had here was excellent… I suggest the mushroom bruschetta, the smoked trout lettuce wraps, and the eggplant parmigiana (a little different than what we were expecting but good nevertheless). Tired and full we slowly meandered back to the room so that we could put our feet up, and put out baby down, for the night. Thankfully, he slept through the night in the strange room.

First Mother’s Day

My wife and I have both been looking forward to today and dreading it at the same time. There has been a lot that has happened since the last time that the calendar noted this holiday. There is a lot that we have to celebrate and a lot that we are missing on this day. To my wife’s credit, which says a lot about her strength, she decided to focus on the joy of the day and I did my best to make that a reality (even in the face of a few trying moments). Like many things these days, time is moving both fast and slow. It seemed to take forever for this day to come but it also caught us a little off guard.

For the past couple of months we had been anticipating the good and bad of the day. In an effort to focus on the former we decided to get away for a couple of days. I nearly dropped the ball on this one but managed to make it happen by booking a room early last week (more on the trip itself in my next post). It was also late in the week when I was finally able to order flowers for my mom (for which we got a call when they were delivered yesterday)... ProFlowers.com kind of saved me on that one. We both owe a lot to our mom’s and now that we have a son we understand even more the importance of this day.

We were a little apprehensive about the overnight stay at a hotel with the baby given that this was his first night away from home but, in the end, the entire trip went better than we could have ever hoped. There wasn’t a single moment of crying for much of the getaway and he seemed to be happy to explore a new place and simply spend time with his mommy and daddy. Of course, it could be that maybe our son is already learning that you don’t mess with mommy on Mother’s Day.

While we did our best to think of all the good things that have happened and the fact that it is the first Mother’s Day that we have celebrated with our son, I couldn’t help but think about the one thing that I couldn’t give my wife today. I didn’t buy a card or flowers as there wasn’t really anything that I could find that made sense… at least not this year. I could have bought a “First Mother’s Day” card but it was also a first for another reason… one that I couldn’t change. It was a hard day but a great day as well. I just wish that I could have given her the gift that she really wanted today.

Mother’s Day Isn’t Limited By The Calendar

There are some holidays that just seem to get overlooked. No matter how much effort we put into celebrating the day, it just doesn’t seem to be enough. I have always felt that way about Mother’s Day as there is so much that my mom has done for me and so much support that she has given to me and my siblings that I don’t know if there is anything that we could do to really show how much I appreciate everything that she has given to me and the love that has never wavered no matter how crazy my life plans tend to be.

While we have this day that is prepackaged to honor our mothers, the origins of the day really show the love that most of us feel and the kind of honor that we wish to bestow upon the wonderful women that raised us. When you read about the founding of the holiday on Wikipedia you will get my point:

The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she had started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, "the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world." Anna's mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who had cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.

Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, several states officially recognized Mother's Day, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers. In a thank-you note to Wilson, Jarvis wrote of a “great Home Day of our country for sons and daughters to honor their mothers and fathers and homes in a way that will perpetuate family ties and give emphasis to true home life.” Jarvis became critical, however, of the commercialization of the day.

So, while I will do what I can on this day to show my mom how much I love her and appreciate her, I will keep working every day to make sure I convey that beyond the confines of a single block on the calendar. I know too many people who rely on holidays and only reach out when there is another reason to call their mom. I don’t ever want to end up like one of those people (although I think there were times in my life when I did). There really doesn’t need to be a reason to talk, to make sure you remain connected, and to let you mom know (even if it is not directly stated) that you love her.