Tuesday, May 3, 2016

TMI Tuesday: I Can’t Poop!


There are many different cries and screams that we have learned to decipher over the past year and a half. Granted, my wife is much better as interpreting them but there are a few that I have been able to pick up over time. One of them has a certain decibel and cadence that simply translates to “I can’t poop and I am not happy about it!” Unfortunately, we tend to know that this one is going to happen when he goes nearly an entire day without a red faced movement.

This is also one of those screams that can really happen at any time, day or night. And it doesn’t matter where we are at the time either as we have experienced his vocal cords piercing our ears while in bed, at the dinner table, in the playroom, while out to dinner, with family, and in the car. It is an equal opportunity scream that definitely gets your attention. Keep in mind that all of this is in despite of him regularly eating a healthy amount of movement inducing foods.

When we hear it we know that he is uncomfortable and, if at night, he is going to have trouble sleeping. And, given the backup that it represents, we try to keep his situation in mind when he doesn’t eat as much or doesn’t scurry around the house at the rate or regularity that he normally does. What’s worse, is that this particular siren becomes more pronounced when he doesn’t get the results he is looking for after the latest colonic pilates session.

During some of these more intense blockages, he even produces what can best be described as golf balls in between complete expulsions. Try sitting on a golf ball or small rock while at your desk and see how that feels. It is a sensation that doesn’t offer any relief. On the contrary, it makes him even grumpier and I can’t really blame him for the reaction.

However, when all is said and done and the increased fiber intake overtakes the barrier, the sense of relief that washes over his face is quite the site to see. Of course, there is a hint of fear in his eyes as well as he knows that the odds of a blowout are rather high in this situation. But, when all is said and done, it is nice to have our cheeky little baby boy back to his normal self. At least until the next time.