TMI Tuesday: Watching Him Sleep

There are moments as a parent when the world stops for just a second. Sometimes it happens because you are scared out of your mind while other times, especially lately, it is because there is a perfect simplicity to that singular time when nothing in this world could improve upon it. It is these latter moments when there is no place you would rather be and there is nothing in the world more important than simply being there to experience the peace and tranquility of parenthood.

Sure there are times when the last thing that you want to hear when you walk through the door after a long day at the office is your son whaling from the playroom. There are those times when that sudden scream in the middle of the night ten minutes after you had just fallen asleep makes you want to pull your hair out (I can actually sense my hair getting gray in those instances). And there are instances when the world stops as you can tell there is something wrong with your child and you don’t know whether to yell, cry, shut down, or take charge. But these moments tend to fade and fold deep into the recesses of your gray matter.

The moments that I remember, that get me through those stressful times in my day when I just want to throw my hands up, that make me take charge when things are difficult, are the times when I walk through the door and I can hear my son let out a joyous squee before scurrying into the kitchen and scrawling up my leg. It is the times when he is feeling tired and shy and all he wants is to be picked up so he can lay his head on my shoulder. It is that moment when I woke up last week to see my son sound asleep between us in bed with his hands behind his head and a big smile on his face.

Those are the moments that remain with me and keep me pushing forward in an effort to be a better example for my son. While I falter more times than not, I am continuously motivated to be a better man, to be a better husband, and to be a better father. Those moments are what live within us as parents and why we tend to forget the difficult times as time passes. It is also why we lay there in disbelief when we realize just how much of the bed our little boy now takes up when it seems like just yesterday that he was so tiny.

9 Months

It may have only been a month since I last wrote a post like this but a lot has changed over that short span of time. Our little boy who once hated being on his belly now enjoys rolling around and flopping on his stomach while trying to reach for a toy. He even lunges at his mommy and daddy when he simply wants to hug or kiss one of us. Of course, that last part is sometimes a little game he likes to play when he is all cuddly and loving one minute and then just goes about playing like nothing happened. When you ask him about it he gives you a momentary smile and goes about what he was doing.

One moment in particular was last weekend when I was taking a break from organizing and all of the sudden, while sitting in the middle of a scattered field of toys, he turned to me and said “daddy”. I tried to get him to say it again but it was one of those things that just happened in the moment when he wanted to let me know that he could say it but he chooses not to say it. The weekend prior had a similar moment during the middle of the day when I was laying on the floor next to him while he was playing. Out of nowhere, he turned, leaned over, and gave his daddy about a half dozen kisses. These are just a few of the spontaneous moments that I will always remember.

There are also new routines that have emerged during the last few weeks. Cheerios have become the favorite way to conclude any meal. Not really sure if it is the taste, texture, or the independence that make them so appealing to our son. Regardless, it is fun to watch him feed himself and play with them a little while sitting in the high chair.

The other regular activity is something that he does when he thinks that no one is watching. Every time that we put him down for a nap or for the night, he spends the first 10 or 15 minutes in his crib trying to crawl. You can tell that he just wants to be more mobile and that he wants to surprise mommy and daddy because while he works on this a bit while we are playing with him it is a completely different intensity when he is all alone with mommy and daddy watching him quietly on the monitor. I guess we should expect another spontaneous moment soon.

TMI Tuesday: Your Dinner Looks Really Good Daddy!

My usual routine at the end of each day is that when I get home I make sure to spend time with our son, play with him, and put him to bed before my wife and I sit down to eat dinner. It may not be the best solution but at this point it is what works and it allows me to spend some time with our baby before having to prep and cook. However, there are times when I get home a little earlier than usual or dinner is particularly quick to pull together and we end up eating immediately after our son finishes his food.

As we are eating we can’t help but get the feeling that we are being stared at with every bite. Sure enough, when we look over we see our son watching the food as it travels from the plate to our mouth. This of course is accompanied by copious amounts of drool (more than what his teething usually produces) as well as a smacking of his lips about every other bit. This has been the same routine for months even back to when he couldn’t sit up on his own.

Lately, he has taken things to an entirely new level as he really wants to taste what we are eating. At least once during the course of our dinner he will give a little screech and babble something that we are supposed to understand given the expression on his face. Most likely it is probably something along the lines of “Your dinner looks really good Daddy. How about you give me a little taste of whatever it is that you are eating?” He will go on to repeat the babble which is usually concluded by a short burst of yelling when we don’t comply.

Thankfully, he is now able to feed himself some small puffs so we usually put some on his tray when we sit down at the table with our plates. This has been much more effective than the small rotation of toys that quickly lose their ability to calm him when food is present. We have also introduced tiny pieces of banana which the three of us are able to share… baby really like when we are all enjoying the same thing. At the same time, we are slowly introducing him to new foods and broadening his palate so that, one day, hopefully he will like what he tastes when mommy and daddy are able to give him a bite of their food.

TMI Tuesday: Blasting The Baby Monitor

When we first starting putting the baby registry together last year one of the things that we made sure to put on there was a monitor. Rather than going with the usual ones, we wanted to upgrade a little bit and get the video monitor for no other reason than we felt more comfortable being able to see our son and not just hear him. So far, that has been the primary use of the camera (especially when he is eerily quiet in his sleep) but it has also been a great source of entertainment at times.

There have been many nights when our son has had trouble sleeping or getting to sleep. Being able to see him has allowed us to take preemptive action during those times. While he may not be screaming yet, we know the restlessness that comes before the ear piercing. We both hate to hear our son cry and preventing that from happening by calming his flailing legs has been a great way to avoid those moments.

Sometimes there are moments, especially after a long and/or tiring day, when we just want to see him. It is calming to watch our son sleep but sometimes we don’t want to risk stepping on that one squeaking floorboard and waking him up. The camera has afforded us the best of both worlds by watching him dreaming peacefully without the risk of disturbing those restful moments for him.

And then there are the entertaining times. Whenever we hear him rustling in his crib we turn on the video. Sometimes, as mentioned above, we need to climb up the stairs and settle him. Other times we know what is about to happen. It can be just as loud as those aforementioned screams and they are much stinker as well. Those are the times when we know he is about to let his colon calm him.

It usually starts with the legs high in the air as if he is practicing some odd form of flatulent yoga. Keep in mind that we are watching this from the foot of the crib (maybe the funniest of all the possible angles). This is followed by a little shimmy. This can happen several times depending on the intensity of the end result. Once everything is primed the fuse is lit and the explosion vibrates the crib. I guess you could say that it is a brief moment of satisfying wakefulness for our baby. Once the dust settles he turns his head to the side and falls right back into a deep and restful sleep. At this point we just hope our laughing isn’t so loud that it will wake him up.

So there are many uses that we have gotten out of the video monitor. Some are very practical and have been beneficial since we brought our son home in the winter. Of course, there are also the other times when it has just been a great source of laughter.  

Finding The Afikomen In The Easter Eggs

I remember scurrying around the church grounds when I was younger looking for those little plastic eggs filled with assorted sweets. Looking back it is fascinating to think about how all the kids around me and I were so focused on a singular objective to find those mythical embryos. Fed by competitiveness and sugar, there was nothing stopping any of us until we were certain that all of those pastel containers were scrounged up and piled high in our baskets. In that moment, Easter was not a religious holiday it was simply an afternoon scavenger hunt.

These days, much like the Christmas holiday, Easter is a time to spend with family. As a Jew there is nothing that really appeals to my religious side but being able to spend time with everyone is something that makes me look forward to this time of year. Of course, seeing the little kids with that same singular objective in their eyes does make me think back to those afternoons and is also a reason why I enjoy this day. I guess you could say that his epitomizes the difference between watching or seeing and observing.

There are many holidays that happen around us every year, even within our own families, many of which we see all around us and we enjoy watching all that happens during those times of year. There are also times when we observe our holidays and the roles within our families are reversed. And there are times when I find doing a little bit of both during many of the Jewish holidays as I try to build a mental database of memories of all the different holidays and ways that people and families observe them.

This is something that many people who were raised in a faith take for granted. Seeing the different holidays from the very beginning you build upon a series of memories in youth which influences the way that you observe the holidays later in life. As converts we have a bit of a mixed bag in that we have those mental records from another faith but observe completely different holidays later in life. While it takes a little more effort during our chosen holidays, the memories of those former holidays easily surface during various times during the year.

The trick is harnessing those memories of childhood, accepting them, and looking for a ways to embrace some of those moments, like searching for eggs, and applying them to your chosen holidays. Maybe Easter has made us better as hiding the Afikomen. Maybe that need to search, that desire to see things to the end, lead us to take a lead of faith, search for, and find our faith. Maybe that Easter egg hunt was only the beginning of our search. Maybe that is the reason why those memories are so intense and the emotions tied to this holiday, for me, are absent of religion. Beyond the questions, it is a great day to spend with family and that is really what the focus should be on during all of our holidays.