TMI Tuesday: Guilty Grin

The highlight for me almost every morning is walking into our son’s bedroom, turning off the music, and welcoming him to a new day. Most of the time, no matter how much he is fussing, when he hears my voice and turns his head he gives me a wide smile and a light in his eyes that make the grogginess of the hour immediately disappear. It is a moment that I look forward to every single day and what allows me to begin the day anew no matter what the previous day had been like.

Of course, there are also the times when I am slightly taken aback when that smile turns quickly into a guilty grim piercing the emanation rising from his crib. Sometimes it is nothing more than air while other times it is a much more pungent and persistent odor that requires immediate attention. Sadly I must admit that he gets that smirk from his daddy as I know all too well what it means no matter if a toxic cloud is present or not.

This reaction has only become more entertaining as time has gone by and our son had continued to grow. Now the questions of “did you fart?” or “did you poop?” elicit that same complicit expression. It seems as though he already comprehends the humor that those bodily functions can bring to a situation (along with the stink). But those are not the only times that this this expression appears.

One thing that annoys my wife from time to time is the fact that our son seemingly saves some of his energy toward the end of the day so that he can play when daddy gets home. There have been several occasions when my wife would have a particularly rough day with our son not wanting to cooperate but when I open the door and he hears my voice, our son’s demeanor completely changes. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t like the fact that he reacts to me in that way but, at the same time, I can see how it can be a little annoying (to say the least) for my wife.

When I sit him on my lap and talk to him about it usually asking if he had been a good boy today, that same guilty grin appears. Except this time he usually drives it home with some cooing and baby gibberish. The force is definitely strong with this one as neither of us can really remain completely annoyed at that point with such effervescent cuteness… this is not the guilty baby you are looking for. At least when this guilt grin appears we don’t have to deal with the same fallout that fills the morning.

Dividing Time

Each week I have the same debate in my mind of whether or not I am going to drive to the lode after work. Honestly, it is getting more and more difficult to dedicate the time during the week after a long day at the office as it is also a long day away from my wife and son. This has been particularly true as of late since I have been wanting to get home as soon as possible and hold my baby boy before he gets too fussy and heads off to bed.

When I get home each night that is pretty much my routine… put everything down, forget (as much as I can) about work, and spend some time with our child. This is both how I like to spend the early part of the evening and what my wife needs at the end of the day… a short break to do the important things like eat. While it has become part of daily life, it is still a surreal experience every time I walk through the door and see him.

It is a new routine that we are still working on and we probably won’t find the right mix until he is ready to move out. While my work hours are going down a little bit this month, there are still other things that have to get done and projects that I have to catch up on. If only I didn’t have to sleep every night I might be able to keep everything on track. I guess it is just a matter of finding the right balance… eventually.  

Thankfully, most of the people in my life understand the directions that I am pulled in on a regular basis and know full well the importance of family. This is especially true when I have a chance to talk with many of the brothers at the lodge. This is also why I am looking forward to him getting just a little older so I can bring him along to some of the family events and take road trips as a family to the occasional meeting on the other side of the commonwealth.

Balance is what is needed to properly measure our days. Maybe then my mind will stop wandering from place to place and from task to task. But, until that time, I am going to keep pushing forward and spending as much time as possible with my family and as little time as possible being unproductive. I am sure that things will, eventually, work themselves out.