TMI Tuesday: Screams In The Night

One of the scariest sounds that I have ever heard is when we have been startled from a deep sleep by the screams from our son echoing across the room through the monitor. While my wife’s hearing is more in tune with the displeasures of our son, when I am able to remain unconscious to the troubles around us, there are times when it doesn’t matter how sound a slumber, the scream that our son makes could wake anyone up… even me!

Just over a week ago this seemed to be the pattern for a few nights as our son spiked a fever well into triple digits. It was a time of little sleep, especially for my wife, as all we could do for a couple of nights was monitor, give him medicine, hold him, and dunk him in the tub if he got too hot. Unfortunately, I am little help during these times as our son insists on having his mommy but will occasionally want his daddy within his sight line. This episode, this sequence of nights, was far beyond those that we have dealt with previously.

Even without a temperature and feeling perfectly fine, there are moments when our son will wake up and make some noise before falling back to sleep. What can I say, he is loud when he shifts just like his daddy. There are also moments when he will fuss or even whimper for a minute or two before he either screams because of some uncomfortable padding under his bottom or he will unleash a different kind of sound that fills the night, lay down, and sleep better than he did before he woke up.

There was also a period of adjustment when we moved into the house when we couldn’t quite get the thermostat right… our son has become rather particular with regard to ideal sleeping temperature in his room. Over the first couple of weeks we were able to figure it out. Who am I kidding, my wife is the one that fine-tuned the temperature. And now, if there are nights that are a little warmer or cooler, our son adjusts his position in the crib sleeping either in a slightly cooler spot near the wall or a little warmer away from it.

And while we have done everything that we can to make him as comfortable as possible, sometimes there are nights when he doesn’t feel well. Sometimes there are evenings when he is startled by a nightmare (also a scream that is hard to forget). Sometimes he simply loses track of his stuffed animal and/or binkie. And other times there are nights when he gets a little lonely being on the second floor by himself or when we didn’t spend enough time playing with him during the day and needs a little more snuggle time with mommy and/or daddy. But these nights are nothing in comparison to that heart wrenching siren.

TMI Tuesday: Still Recovering

Recovering from vacation could be worse!

It has been just over a week and we are all still recovering from our summer excursion. While our feet have recovered and our schedules seem to be back to near normal there are still times of adjustment throughout the day. Also, having now been able to think about the trip and trying to get back to our routine, for the record, our son’s maximum vacation length is eight days.

Since our return there have been times when we don’t want to do anything or go anywhere and there are other moments when we look for things to do and places to go. The same can be said for all three of us as, every once in a while, I catch those looks on my son’s face when I know he wants to be out seeing something new. Of course, he still has the occasional moment of “where the heck am I” and “where are we going today?”

There are a lot of things that are back to normal but there are the hiccups that come with change. There are moments when our son is a little more temperamental with his eating or stubbornly not wanting to go to bed. And, with how much he grew during our week away, there are other things that need to be adjusted as well. However, all in all, he has been great getting back into many of the usual routines that he enjoys. It is definitely easier on my wife not having to carry so much stuff around and find new places to feed and change him.

It has certainly been an adjustment from seeing new things every day, being with each other all day, and not having to go to work in the morning but we are working through the change back to normal. Thankfully, in addition to being able to get caught up at work, much of the house work has been done that we put off until we got back. It is looking pretty good actually. Coming home to some of the messing things after being in clean hotel rooms was a bit of an eye opener… we are working on a better daily/weekly routine to make sure that doesn’t happen again!

While this summer has gone about as smoothly as we could have ever hoped, I know that there are few things that we have learned along the way and that next summer will be structured quite differently. It has been good to get away and spend time with family but the length and frequency of the trips will have to be adjusted moving forward. This most recent trip was a tad too long while the other ones could have been extended by a couple of days. All lessons that we will apply moving forward.

Looking Back On The Last 2 Months

It is hard to believe that it has already been two months (and a day) since our son was born. There have been a lot of changes that have occurred, both for better and worse, with each of them bringing us to this point, two months later. While there is still a little disbelief in our eyes when we watch him sleep, my wife and I are enjoying this new phase in our life (even if we don’t readily admit it when our baby is screaming in the middle of the night).

The memories are still so vivid going all the way back to the moment when we found out about our pending arrival. Each and every moment we will carry with us: the reactions when we told our parents, the first time we saw him on the ultrasound, the first time he breathed the same air as us, and all the details surrounding each of those moments and days. We will never forget them.

All of the tiring and trying moments seem to have faded leaving just those moments that remain seared into our memory: his first smile, the first time he found his thumb, the first time that he cooed at us, the first time he rolled over, his first car ride, and countless other moments. These are the times when I don’t need a picture to see his smile and I don’t need a recording to hear his coo. They are forever carried with us so that we can look back at the cuteness when he gets older.

It hasn’t been an easy couple of months but seeing him grow and slowly become more aware of his surroundings is something that I can’t really describe… all the parents reading this know what I am talking about. And the love that you have for your child is something that remains indescribable as well. There are already so many great moments and memories to look back on and so many things that we are looking forward to. Before we know it, they will all be memories.  

While time has flown as our baby had grown, we remember each time he grew just a little bit. Now he is nearly 12 pounds and will soon be too big for the bassinette. It will be another interesting adjustment for us not having him beside the bed. But it is also going to be another memory to look back on… the look of a peaceful sleep that occurs when he doesn’t have to listen to daddy snoring on the other side of the room.

Weekend Drive

So far, we are enjoying taking some small trips in the new car. 

My wife and I have been waiting for a warm weekend just so we could get out of the house for a little while. Sunday we were afforded that opportunity as the wind subsided, the sky cleared, and the temperature ticked up a few more degrees. We had originally planned on driving somewhere to walk around for a bit but give our son’s fussiness as of late, we decided to drive down another exit on the turnpike for lunch.

During our explorations over the last few months of 2013, we had crisscrossed the turnpike around the Morgantown exit. During one of those trips we came across the Windmill Family Restaurant. While they aren’t going to win any awards for their fair, it remains an inexpensive place to stop for a good meal. Actually, their chicken corn chowder is what brought us back this time so I guess you could say that is an award worthy item.

It had been months since we last ate there and, obviously, the first time that we were bringing our son. When we walked through the doors this time I kept on thinking about how similar the feeling and décor was to some of the places I ate growing up. Ironically, I kept thinking about the places where we stopped (the names of which have long since been forgotten) when we drove down and back from the family reunion in Virginia. Some may call it old and outdated but I prefer to use the term authentically nostalgic.

Our son was surprisingly quite throughout the meal allowing my wife and I to enjoy the time out and catch up on some of the conversations that get overlooked during the course of our hectic week. With a quart of soup to go in hand, we got back in the car and turned away from the highway. With the moon roof open and the windows slightly cracked, we drove up and down the backroads moving generally in the direction of home. This weaving across the landscape was to enjoy the time out, get some fresh air, and allow our son to catch up on some much needed sleep.

About a half hour into our return trip, having not heard a sound from the back seat in a few minutes, I glanced in the rearview mirror to check on our son. There he was still sleeping… and so was my wife. So I continued driving, turning when the asphalt changed direction, until I found a road that would lead us back home. It was a quite drive but it was still time out with my family. Not a bad way to spend the afternoon.

Long Awaited Weekend

I have been looking forward to this weekend for several months now. I knew that this past week was going to be a long one and that is was also going to eat into last weekend as well. In addition to counting down the days until my return from the Midwest, I have also been counting down to the end of the week and being able to shut down the computer for a couple of days (at least as it pertains to work). Of course, that was the plan and as has become commonplace lately, the plans don’t really mean anything.

Everything, as it usually does, seemed to converge today with lodge work coming back to the forefront of my mind (with deadlines attached), work projects not moving along quite as fast as I had hoped, and baby becoming rather fussy yesterday which continued through today. However, even with everything going on it has still been nice just to be home and with my family. While there are many things going through my mind that have to get done, being present is what really matters and what brings me back into the moment (even if that moment involves incessant screaming.

While many people I know would look at what needs to be accomplished at work or at the lodge and deem it important it really doesn’t matter all that much when I am looking at my son trying to figure out what to do to calm him down or when I am able to look at him as he smirks in his sleep. Everything else can wait. Right now I just want to be with my son and enjoy every moment that I can so I don’t regret overlooking these simple moments later as he continues to grow.

With that said, these moments late at night while my wife and son are sleeping have also provided a great respite to both get work done that I have pushed back from the daylight hours but also as a time to reflect and appreciate the day that has just passed. Things seem to be changing so fast lately and every moment that I can slow down and look around (Bueller? Bueller?) I have insisted on taking. After all, work will always be there with the same kinds of projects popping up time and again but these moments in life are a onetime deal and I don’t want to miss them.

Today From The WTF Files: “Silent Cheer Day”

Don't snore! It could be too loud and you might offend someone.

A big part of sports is the cheering, booing, and everything in between. This aspect of athletics only becomes more prominent as we get older and we can’t be the ones in the competition. Just go to any baseball, football, hockey, or basketball game and you know exactly what I am talking about. For those outside the U.S. think rugby or soccer.

When I was younger I can remember my parents on the cold uncomfortable metal bleachers just beyond the dugout cheering on the rare occasion when I actually showed some semblance of athletic ability. Albeit a rare occurrence I had a few moments. Most people know that feeling of those moments (some more some less) when they can hear the cheers of their team mates and family ringing in their ears. It is a part of growing up and it motivates you to try and get better.

On the flip side, we all know that feeling when we let our team down. I remember many long hits given up when I could see hear the cheers against me and see the faces of my team mates as they did whatever they could to minimize the damage. Even those moments can prove to be formative ones as you bear down, move on, and focus on turning things around. Learning how to deal with a little adversity is a great thing growing up. In many respects it is a better learning tool than the moments of glory.

In both of these instances the roar of the crowd for or against is the fuel that is needed to succeed the next time around. But what if there weren’t any cheers? What if parents were penalized for cheering? I know, that is just crazy talk and things would never become so screwy that something like that would ever happen. Right?

Think again. The notion of “Silent Cheer Day” has been around for probably 20 years in one incarnation or another and every once in a while a story pops up to remind us all of the quality ideas coming out of California. I know, it sounds like something from the stoner Olympics (Denver 2018). This year, Idaho is in the news for implementing this mellow means of ‘you’re all special’ kind of athletics. Funny, I was certain it would have been Colorado this year. From The Coeur d' Alene Press:

“Silent Cheer Day” focused on sportsmanship and encouragement without spectators yelling negative or even positive remarks at the players or referees.

“Coaches said the kids played a little better because there was less noise,” said Post Falls recreation coordinator Justin Brown.

Brown got the notion for the silent cheer at a seminar he recently attended at the National Alliance for Youth Sports in San Diego. The goal is for parents and spectators to find less distracting ways to communicate their support for their kids, such as applause and signage, and eliminate some of the negativity that can come out during a game. If they were loud during Saturday’s games, they were given a red penalty card and sent to the penalty area for one minute.

I repeat, hearing cheers either for or against you are a means of motivation (especially when they use your name or position). Incurring such penalties, even for a day, is a ridiculous waste of time and energy. And what is it really teaching these kids? It’s not your fault if you don’t succeed, the crowd was too noisy. Give me a freaking break.

Oh, wait, I forgot. It’s a California idea. That means we can’t hold people accountable for their own actions. We can only blame those around them or some other circumstance that was out of their control. We might as well start them off early and teach them while they are young that there is always something or someone else you can blame for anything that goes wrong.

I just wish that they would start silent bitching day. Instead of forcing the rest of us to participate in this crap, how about you miss and moan silently to yourself and leave the rest of us out of it. That is a day that I will be happy to stand behind.