TMI Tuesday: Watching Him Sleep

There are moments as a parent when the world stops for just a second. Sometimes it happens because you are scared out of your mind while other times, especially lately, it is because there is a perfect simplicity to that singular time when nothing in this world could improve upon it. It is these latter moments when there is no place you would rather be and there is nothing in the world more important than simply being there to experience the peace and tranquility of parenthood.

Sure there are times when the last thing that you want to hear when you walk through the door after a long day at the office is your son whaling from the playroom. There are those times when that sudden scream in the middle of the night ten minutes after you had just fallen asleep makes you want to pull your hair out (I can actually sense my hair getting gray in those instances). And there are instances when the world stops as you can tell there is something wrong with your child and you don’t know whether to yell, cry, shut down, or take charge. But these moments tend to fade and fold deep into the recesses of your gray matter.

The moments that I remember, that get me through those stressful times in my day when I just want to throw my hands up, that make me take charge when things are difficult, are the times when I walk through the door and I can hear my son let out a joyous squee before scurrying into the kitchen and scrawling up my leg. It is the times when he is feeling tired and shy and all he wants is to be picked up so he can lay his head on my shoulder. It is that moment when I woke up last week to see my son sound asleep between us in bed with his hands behind his head and a big smile on his face.

Those are the moments that remain with me and keep me pushing forward in an effort to be a better example for my son. While I falter more times than not, I am continuously motivated to be a better man, to be a better husband, and to be a better father. Those moments are what live within us as parents and why we tend to forget the difficult times as time passes. It is also why we lay there in disbelief when we realize just how much of the bed our little boy now takes up when it seems like just yesterday that he was so tiny.

TMI Tuesday: Where Have You Been Daddy?

This place was an interesting experience. 

Over the past few days I have been away on a business trip and my son was definitely not happy with the situation. Obviously, the explanation that I gave him before leaving on Sunday morning was insufficient and so he has been acting out since the moment I closed the door. Even when I called in the evening hours and spent about an hour on the phone, it didn’t seem to allay is uneasiness about daddy not being home. I guess you could call this the down side of having a son that is a daddy’s boy.

When my wife and I were planning out this trip we knew that my flight got in early enough that I would be able to take my time and still be able to pick him up from daycare later in the afternoon (just before his usual pickup time). So, after stopping by the house to drop off my travel bags and wash up, I turned around and made my way down the street. When I opened the door and said hi to my son he seemed to have a look on his face of disbelief which quickly dissipated as his scurried across the floor and tugged on my pant leg.

While I could tell that he was happy he was quiet throughout the short car ride home. However, when I opened the door to take him out of his seat, I saw the smile that always makes the day a little better. I guess he finally figured out that he wasn’t dreaming and that daddy was actually home. After a quick change and temperamental snack, we went into the playroom where he spend much of the afternoon staring at me and crawling over for hugs.

Once my wife got settled after unpacking a few bags from her car, we all went into the kitchen where I was finally able to spoil my son with a few small things that I picked up while in Austin (and yes I got my wife something too). Thankfully there was a toy store three blocks away from the hotel and a 20 minute gap in one of my days away. The stuffed animal was nice and he snuggled it a little bit but what really made him happy was the Austin t-shirt and hat combo that I found on clearance at the airport. However, even excitement in those items faded as he preferred to simply be held by his daddy, eat, and go to bed early. After all, he knew that daddy was home now and that he would see me in the morning.

Three Months!

It seems like I just posted the two month blog yesterday but here we are just over three months since our son was born (three months and three days to be exact). There have been good times and hard times throughout the last month as our son has become aware of more and more of the world around him. He is slowly learning little pieces here and there and now communicates in his own way with us (especially when daddy comes home from work). That moment when he turns his head and smiles at me is, by far, the highlight of my day.

Everyone said that these days go by fast and while there are certainly times when time seems to move very slowly, I really don’t know where the last three months have gone. It is a blur of work and baby with a few memories from lodge meetings and other events. Everything seems to have faded into unimportance while the specific moments of seeing my son do things, see things, react certain ways, and sooth us remain vivid in my mind. Even some of the unpleasantries that have been experienced are quarantined into the recesses of memory. It is a hard thing to explain but many of you know exactly what I am talking about.

There are times when I have come through the door after a particularly long day at the office and everything seems to just fade away. Other times I have come home later than usual knowing I have to get some more unavoidable work done but lacking the energy to do so… sneaking up to his crib and watching him sleep is all I need to keep going and keep working that night. And when I am at work and my mind begins to drift, I think about my son and I get back on task knowing that if I don’t finish things up during the week, I am going to have to spend some time away from him on the weekend tethered to my computer… I have managed to avoid working on the weekend for some time now.

It has been an interesting and quick adventure so far. There has been a lot of poop and a lot of laughs, many headaches and numerous giggles, a few hard days and countless beautiful moments. All the while we have watched him grow still not quite believing that he is here and that we are a family of three. Things have changed so much and as he understands a little bit more of the world around him we are eager to introduce him to new places and experiences and that is exactly what we have planned for the next three months.