TMI Tuesday: Baby Doesn’t Need To Know Everything!

Over the past year, especially over the last couple of weeks, I have found that sometimes the best way to protect my son is to not share everything with him. Just over a week ago we didn’t have much choice when I was rear ended on my way home. He knew that I was supposed to be home to tuck him in and when I called that night to tell my wife what had happened and that I would be home in time, he knew something was wrong and he worried about me for most of the weekend. When the same thing happened to me this morning on my way to work I was able to let my wife know and we didn’t mention anything to our son… in fact, he was happy to see me home when my wife walked through the door after picking him up from daycare.

That’s right, the same thing happened. Well, almost the same thing. Either way, our son didn’t need to know what happened…

The incident occurred while on my way to work this morning. I was traveling in the left lane heading eastbound on the PA Turnpike in inconsistent traffic. Traffic was going about 40-50 mph but, soon after passing the Downingtown exit, traffic ceased to move. I came to a halt about 1.5-2 car lengths between myself and the car in front of me. When the car came to a complete stop I noticed in the rear view mirror, first in my peripheral vision and then with nearly instant focus, that the Gray Ford F250 behind me was not stopping. I did not hear any brakes.

When he impacted the rear of the rental card I was in at the time (a White 2016 Dodge Dart for those who need the reminder) I was forced approximately 2-2.5 car lengths forward. Thankfully, I avoiding the car in front of me by guiding the now super-compact car toward the median. After taking about 5 minutes to collect myself and after Turnpike personnel blocked all lanes of traffic I drove the car to the right shoulder of the road about 50-100 yards from impact.

Turnpike personnel, PA Troopers, EMT, and the towing company were on scene soon after the accident. The other driver admitted to me and to others on the scene that he had taken his eyes off the road. The Trooper collected our information and took statements for the incident report. I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance soon after since this was the second such accident in about ten days. Thankfully, they didn’t find anything in the slew of x-ray that I received and I was discharged shortly after noon.

Just when I was beginning to feel better from the previous accident and starting to catch up on everything, I was out of the office for another day and everything else was put on hold as the stiffness and soreness set in. By the time our son came home, I was able to hide the pain and discomfort so that our son would not worry again. I hate keeping things from him but I also hate seeing the worry on his face and the tossing and turning that it causes him at night. Hopefully, this is the last time I have to hide something like this from him… hopefully this meets my accident quota for a while… I don’t know how much more my body can take of this. At least now I am in a slightly bigger car as compared to the Dart… a fully loaded 2016 Chevy Suburban.  

TMI Tuesday: Worrying About Daddy!

Every morning before my wife takes him to school, I tell my son weather I will be home that night to tuck him in or if I will be out late. On Friday, as we packed everything up and put him in the car, I told my son that I would be home at my normal time that night so that I could play with him and tuck him into bed. Well, I had every intention of keeping my word to my son. In fact, I was even on the road a little earlier than usual when the accident happened.

Shortly after leaving the office, about five miles down the road, brake lights filled the highway causing me to come to a nearly complete halt in the left lane. However, the 1986 pickup truck behind me didn’t stop in time and rear ended me at about 40-50 miles per hour. The accident was limited to our two vehicles as I had come to rest with plenty of room between me and the car in front of me. I knew in that moment that I wasn’t going to be home before bedtime.

We pulled off the highway onto the right shoulder, called the State Troopers, our insurance companies, and waited. The 18 year old kid who hit me knew that it was his fault the instant that it happened. Surprisingly, I was just happy to still be in one piece and thankful that I wasn’t driving my old Malibu. While the Jeep held up and kept me safe, the entire back end is a mess and it is doing to require significant work to both the body and the frame.

By the time everything was settled and I was back on the road (the car didn’t drive the same but it still moved) my son was in bed and worrying about daddy. As I would find out later, he kept tossing and turning until I got home and before heading to bed he kept frantically reaching for the phone wanting to check in on me. Baby was worried about me. The next morning, he wanted to spend a little extra time with daddy frequently crawling over to me to give me hugs and kisses. It took nearly the entire day before he fully calmed down knowing that daddy was okay.

While I did keep telling my son that I was okay, I remained stiff and sore throughout the weekend. On Monday, after dropping off the car to be assessed, I did go to the local Urgent Care to get checked out just in case. Two hours and two dozen x-rays later and they could find nothing wrong… at least nothing related to the accident. I still have to keep an eye on things but, for now, I am fine. However, while I am okay, given the extent of the damage, this car is done.

Regardless of whether it is repaired or totaled, the car is never going to be the same and I no longer have the confidence in its ability to hold up over time. After all, it is not just my safety that we are talking about, it has to keep my family safe. So, expect a post or two in the future about the car search and whether or not I decide to simply replace or changing things up a bit again. Of course, it could take a while before I actually get a new car as the current repair timeline is about 30 days. A lot of recovering, waiting, and looking to come.

Still Looking

Lately our weekends have been filled (at least half of each weekend) with our search to find a home. Our weeks have also been packed with numerous searches on various real estate websites trying to find that perfect place. We have also been looking to find properties that have the potential to be exactly what we want (at a lower price point of course). It has been, and continues to be, a long process.

While we have our list of things that we want in a home, we also have a strict budget. One that we determined not just by how much we want to spend but also how much we have been prequalified for by the bank. Fortunately, this part went relatively smoothly as both numbers ended up being about the same with the slightly higher figure coming from the lenders. It is nice to know what we actually have to work with when we look at properties rather than running the possibility of seeing something we like and wondering if we can get approved.

What we have also been running into here and there is the fact that we are getting toward the end of the real estate season so there isn’t as many listings and sometimes when we have expressed an interest in taking a closer look there is already an agreement in place. On the one hand it says a lot about the areas in which we are looking but on the other it is, at the very least, cause for the occasional moments of frustration. We can’t really do anything about it besides look at the others that are available and hope that we find what we are looking for.

However, we have introduced slight adjustments to our criteria which have opened up a number of other options. You never know what you might find that falls just shy of some of the things on our wish list (this is most notably found in the size of the property). On the other hand, one thing that we haven’t adjusted and will not adjust is the commute time for my wife. I guess the same can be said for everyone’s search to find a home… you have flexibility in some areas and you have to hold firm in others.

Overall, this is whole process is both exciting and frightening. We are both looking forward to owning our own place and finding our home but I am terrified of two very simple things. The first being the fact that we would be taking on around $200,000 of debt. Enough said about that one. The other is just part of my nature… if we agree on a deal and purchase a house, is there a better one out there, is there another place about to come on the market that would be a better fit for us. I guess we will have to just wait and see what we find but, for the most part, these are two things that I am eventually just going to have to accept and be happy with what we have. From beginning to end and afterward, it is not going to be easy.

That’s My Child!

Helloooo Baby!

Early this morning I couldn’t help but quote the Big Bopper when I saw the picture come into focus. Before our eyes, we saw the profile of our baby slowly take shape as the woman moved the ultrasound around my wife’s stomach. What a drastic change from what we saw just five weeks ago!

We were still a little dumbfounded as they began measuring and checking all that they could in the image to make sure that the little one was progressing normally. Given their parents, this might be the only time in their life that they are considered normal. After these initial still shots, it was time for baby to have a little fun. Yes, it turns out that baby likes to mess with people just like their daddy.

Throughout the process, the baby was moving around and having fun in their little rent free dwelling. When it came time for some more pictures that required the baby to be in a certain position that is when it decided to do their own thing… we could hear the doctor talking, asking the baby to lay on its back followed by a slight nudge with the scanner.

Baby did exactly what you think it did, it rolled onto its belly. It took numerous attempts and a few minutes before the baby rolled all the way around. This is when we could really see the profile and see the face of our child. Five or six still frames later the doctor was almost done but baby had enough. Baby raised their arm, either to wave bye or make their first attempt at giving someone the finger, and rolled over again. That’s my child!

That was the end of our visit for today and I will say that this was the best reason to roll out of bed early. Even groggy, it was an exciting morning for the two of us and another day that we will never forget (at least until we are old and senile). Now we just have to wait for some blood work and come back for some more family photos in a couple months… I guess my wife knows what she is getting for her birthday this year!

Twelve weeks in, the baby is healthy and the reality is really starting to settle in. While I was never in denial, seeing a much more developed picture of our child really hit home and has me both a little concerned about our living and financial situation but also eager to meet him or her (I still think it is a boy). It has been quite an early morning and a really long day of thinking.