Monday, March 30, 2015

A Family Of Three


Sometimes the easiest and hardest thing you can do is to ask someone for help. This is especially true when you have your first child. While there was a part of us that just wanted to do it ourselves, we knew that with everything that was going on around us it would, at the very least, be a difficult undertaking. It is with this in mind that we decided to have a doula (also known as baby nurse or postpartum nurse) assist us during the first month.

We first met one of the doulas when we were still in the hospital trying to center ourselves again after all that had transpired over the first 24 hours as a family. With our son arriving a little earlier than expected, there were a number of projects around the house that we had yet to complete. This is when we experienced one of the big perks of having this extra help as I was able to take her to the house and show her a few of the things that we would like taken care of before we got home (mostly laundry, dishes, and a few organization projects).

When we opened the door, there were a number of things checked off our list. Maybe the most important one was that we were able to go to bed that night and sleep on clean sheets. This support continued for the next several weeks as we became more comfortable with having a newborn in our life and while we had to deal with a variety of other events beyond our control.

As time passed, the help continued to be appreciated (most recently while I was on my annual business trip) but the need to be alone with our son continued to grow. Our routine was taking shape and we looked forward more and more to the times when it was just the three of us. It was time to do things on our own and look to family and friends for the advice we needed from time to time (we still sought the advice before but now it is what we solely rely upon when needed).

We still question whether we held on to the doula safety net too long but, in hindsight, we know that there were moments early on when it would have been a struggle without their presence. But now we have our routine and our son expects to see us rather than someone else when he gets fussy or wakes up in the middle of the night. While the constant support may be good for some for a long period of time, it is not something that we wanted to last and now we can enjoy life as a family of three.