Between Blog Posts: Part 3

Over the past month I have been able to find a few second and even a few minutes here and there that have allowed me to let my mind meander about and pull together different images and glimpses into the lives of fictional characters. Even while trying to catch up on the blog, there were still a few much needed moments when I needed to take a momentarily creative leave from reality. It is still unclear as to what will be done with all of these little pieces and whether they tie together somehow or if they are completely separate stories. So, following my notes from New Jersey Transit uncovered in the beginning of August, part 1 recorded in the middle of the month, and part 2 published a couple of weeks ago, I bring you another installment in this sporadic series.

6AM

The neighborhood kids called him Mr. Brown but he had many different monikers throughout his life. Whenever they would call his name in the morning he would turn his head and give him them a slight smile. No one said anything else to him. They let him be and simply watched in silence as he went about his morning routine.

He peered out the window each morning at 6am looking up at the sky. When the sun shone on the horizon he would put on his slippers, a coat when the weather turned bitter, and opened the front door with a slow and deliberate precision that baffled those watching.

His purposeful steps didn’t take him far. They carried him to the corner of his walkway and into a gravel bed surrounding his flag pole. Her he would take the flag tucked under his arm, unfold it, and raise the stars and stripes in a way that is familiar to few but respected by all who witness the ceremony.

Every morning he would pause at half-mast with a kind sadness in his eyes that revealed much more about his routine. In a moment of stillness he seemed to mutter almost apologetically before hoisting the flag to the top of the pole. Securing the rope with a figure eight and solitary knot, he would then turn and return to the front door stiffly closing it behind him as if trying to keep out the memories.

When the sky prepares to succumb to the night everyone watches as he emerges from behind his seclusion almost with a sense of relief that the evening will soon descend and another day will end in silence. He returns the flag to the earth folding into a precise triangle, tucked it under his arm, and carried it with reverence back into his home.

As the amber deepens into red and before the purple hue of dusk, a small glimmer of yellow can be seen waiving lightly from the trunk of his oak tree seemingly giving farewell. The same bitter parting he was offered when his son was deployed.

And now the tattered ribbon tethers the memories of a neighborhood as they all remember the jovial laugh that would fill the small street every time Mr. Brown came home from work. A laugh that only lives in distance echoes. But now there is only night. Now there is only silence. For one more day.

Between Blog Posts: Part 2

Earlier in the month I shared some story notes that I uncovered during a bout of digital archaeology and last week I posted another piece that I jotted down between a couple of blog posts and projects. Well, it happened again. While doing some work and personal research this past week, a small light began flickering in my mind like a projector and played a small scene for me. All that was shone is what is recorded below. This, like the other ideas recorded on this blog, might be interesting to pursue when I have a little more time to commit to this type of writing. But, for now, here is what was played for me…

5AM

Jim was never a morning person and never pretended to be one unless he was applying for a job. This was the conflict that stirred in his mind as the alarm echoed off the empty apartment walls.

He kicked the soiled sheets to the other side of the bed and placed his hand in the cold empty hollow in the mattress next to him. It almost didn’t feel like it was worth it to try and get up but he could stand the thought of lying there alone.

As he staggered to his feet the faux floor whined between his toes. In the bathroom he plunged his worn face in the stagnant sink filled with the same water that had been lingering for days.

The spotted mirror told him all he needed to know reflecting his shadow riddled eyes buried behind his beard.

He rustled through his clothes looking for something that could pass as presentable, something that may have appeared on a store shelf in the last twenty years.

Cleaned and dressed to the standard that had haunted him for the past three years, he opened his bedroom door and walked down the short moonlit hallway to the stack of disposable bowls awaiting him in the kitchen. Like the hundreds of days before, he opened the only stocked cabinet, pulled out a box, and watched the sweet processed puffs as they piled into the paper vessel.

Some people take great care with their diet, Jim was not one of those people.

By the time the sun had begun to inch over the horizon, he was already walking deliberately down the stairs, step by step, counting each one as if the total would be different than all the other days.

The orange and red of the sky surprised him and a smile nearly curled the corners of his mouth when it was quickly slapped from his face by the noise of the city. His simple routine had taken him nearly two hours and now the remaining minutes of the early morning were few and precious.

While little had changed that morning maybe the day would be different. Maybe this would be the day when the burdens of the past would be lifted. Maybe the events of the day would allow him to forget. Maybe this job would be different than the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that…

Between Blog Posts: Part 1

Recently, while going from one topic to the next whether that be at work or while writing about different topics for the blog I find my mind wandering a little bit into the other side of my brain. It’s almost as if it fell off that fine line that I am constantly walking between the two hemispheres and all of the sudden the ideas for stories begin flowing through my fingers. They are only glimpses but, like the rough ideas that I shared before which I uncovered in my computer, I wanted to share them here. After all, you never know what I might do with them…

4AM

Ben had been up all night with the only light shining on the dark country road being the one piercing through his kitchen window. The highway asphalt in the distance had been quite for hours and the autumnal wind carried with it the scent of the approaching season. His work was done, for now, but his labor was just beginning.

The hinges screamed as he pulled the front door toward him. A sound that had become all too familiar in recent weeks. But in that moment, in the darkness of morning, he was the only one who could hear the house shrieking.

His legs were heavy from the rigor of the night and while a fog filled his eyes his mind continued to meander through memories. It took an unexpected effort to traverse the walkway but he endured the haunting thoughts and failing limbs finally slumping over on the rusted trunk of his car. 

He swung open his creaking door and collapsed into the tattered driver’s seat. Turning the key he hoped that the engine would start just one more time. He had a lot of things to do that day but his only desire was to stay home. As the exhaust plumed in the rear view mirror he swallowed the last remanence of cold coffee, rubbed his eyes with his red hands, and slowly skidded down the leaf strewn driveway.

The winding road coddled his eyes while the pings of loose pavement kept his lids from closing. It wasn’t long before he could see the lights from the gas station emerge from the crest of the hill, people walking back to their cars with steaming cups, and the traffic light blinking yellow and red like a beacon on a desolate shore.

As he turned the corner he could hear a rumble cascading across the road. By the time he turned his head the truck had already breached the passenger door. His body was thrown across the intersection until finally resting face down in front of the weathered array of lingering campaign signs.

When the police arrived, they found nothing to identify him, a car which had disintegrated into an unrecognizable heap of scrap, and a heart that had long since stopped pumping. The only thing that they knew about him is what witnesses heard him gargle from between the blades of grass…    

“It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me.”

Mortgage Monday: We Have Gas!

When my wife and I purchased our home we were well aware of the shortcomings of the heating and air conditioning. We also knew that the house ran on a combination of electricity and oil. We were reminded of this throughout the winter each time to boiler switched on and shoot the floor beneath our feet. Being that the house has an always on boiler providing not just the heat coursing through the baseboard elements but also supplying all of our hot water, we were well aware of the fact that it would be a massive undertaking to overhaul these essentials.

After conferring with family and confirming with a few other professionals, the decision was made to switch to propane gas. It was a bit of a shock to hear the total estimate for these projects but, knowing how much we spent on oil the previous year alone, it was clear that this would be a worthwhile investment and something that would solve a multitude of current and future problems. Besides, there was always an outside chance that the antiquated systems would fail sooner rather than later given their condition.

So, with these plans in our minds, I made the calls around to a variety of gas companies in the area, received quotes from them all, and decided on one that simply made the most sense. After a slight delay, they were finally able to make it to the house to install the tank. I actually forgot to mention the logistics of the project which entailed digging a giant hole and installing a sixteen foot, one thousand pound, propane tank… and running the underground gas line to the house. Seems pretty straightforward until you factor in the kind of soil that they had to deal with today.

I warned the sales person who did the estimate a couple of weeks ago that there wasn’t much top soil but it seems as though the message may not have been passed along. About twelve to eighteen inches down and the crew got a nasty surprise… bedrock. Needless to say it was an all-day project but they got it done and they seemed to take a few extra steps to make sure that everything was done right. Even the owner of Great Valley Propane took the time to review everything and discuss what had been done and what he was seeing with my wife. And now I can say with a completely straight face… we have gas!

Mortgage Monday: And Then That Happened…

Last week, in the early afternoon, I was in the middle of a project at the office. The deadline wasn’t until the end of the day and I was looking forward to taking care of a few other things before leaving the office that evening. After my phone had vibrated for the fourth or fifth time I found a good paragraph after which I could take a quick break and read the messages. I knew that they had to be from my wife but I had no idea what she was writing to me about.

Well, it could have been worse but it also could have been so much better. It turns out that the air conditioning, a project still lingering in the middle of our to-do list, decided to stop working in the middle of the day. And, of course, it was one of the hottest days of the year. That short break from the project I was working on was no longer a short break as I had to make half a dozen phone calls before a “solution could be found”.

Between the calls with my wife to get some additional details, texting my brother in law (this is what he does for a living), calling and emailing the home warranty company (the AC is covered under our policy), and finally trying to get a hold of the referred service company, all that time that I once had quickly went up in steam. Thankfully, I had gotten enough written before the chaos and I was able to get the project completed by the time I left the office (which was a little earlier than usual so I could meet the repair person when he arrived at the house). Driving home, I was expecting the worst as the half sized unit had been struggling lately.

I arrived at the house just as the service window was opening. Not surprising was the fact that it was another two hours before the technician pulled into the driveway. Almost immediately he began making comments on the small AC unit tucked away behind the garage. What did provide us with a rather pleasant surprise was the fact that it was a relatively simple solution to our problem with a loose wire (likely due to the constant usage) being the culprit. Thankfully, the air conditioning was restored quickly allowing for the house to cool a little before we put our son to bed.

Of course, this little hiccup has really put our renovation list in focus as the overhaul needs to be completed in the near future as I doubt that the next stoppage will be remedied so easily. We really are just waiting for the next time at this point and hoping that it holds off just a little longer until we can budget for the replacement system. But, for now, we are just going to enjoy the cool air for as long as it lasts.

Transitioning To The New System

Now that things seemed to have settled down at least a little bit, I have been circling back to try and figure out the new website launched by Grand Lodge late last year. While there are many quirks to the old system it is something that I had gotten used to and knew exactly where to go if I needed anything. This new site is something completely different and I am finding that it is taking much longer than I anticipated to find the information and functions that I need. It isn’t that there is anything wrong with it, it is simply new and unfamiliar which takes time to figure out.

However, there are a few things that I have noticed that are both incredibly helpful and also lacking in comparison to the legacy system. While I enjoy having access to the names and lodges of brothers from across the commonwealth, I don’t need that information all of the time. In fact, 99% of the time I just want to see the members of my own lodge, read and respond to emails, and update and input records when needed. That is the bulk of the work that I do on the website and all of these other things just seem like unnecessary bells and whistles to me right now. Of course, that could change over time but that is what I am finding at the moment.

And this speaks to the larger issue at hand… simplicity. I make my living distilling and simplifying complicated concepts into easily digestible text and quotes… it is a necessity of the industry in which I work and partly why companies pay for my services. However, this should not be something that is needed when trying to update records and input data. There is an overly complicated nature to the new process that will undoubtedly keep some brothers from serving as Secretaries in the future… especially those brothers who may be a few years older than the rest.

But the main issue that I have had with the new system is that I didn’t start using it earlier. After all, this could all simply be a matter of unfamiliarity. Because I continued to use the legacy system for so long I am finding myself having to reenter the same information again into the new system… I could have avoided this extra work. Like many things in life, sometimes the biggest obstacle lies in the person sitting at the computer. This is something that we all learn in our lives and especially during our time in the fraternity. The biggest hurdle to get something done can sometimes be in the individual(s). In the end, in order to keep moving forward and moving this fraternity forward, we can’t be afraid to point the finger at ourselves. It really is that simple.

Mortgage Monday: House Files

When we first made an offer on the house one of the contingencies that we put in the contract was to have all the files related to the property. Given the simple fact that the people from which we were buying the property are the ones that built it (the former owner was actually the contractor for the house) and I had seen him produce the paperwork during the inspection process, I knew that the files would be thorough and we would be able to really know all the details about the land and the structure.

While inclusion of this paperwork is usually assumed during a sale I didn’t want this seemingly small item overlooked so we included it anyway. Of course, now a couple of months have passed and while I know where everything is, I am still trying to properly organize everything into my filing cabinets… because I didn’t have enough files already. This seems to be an ongoing project and even with the headway that I have made during the sporadic bouts of organizing, there is obviously still a lot of work to do and the number of items that need to be filed just keeps getting bigger.

I guess the sheer number of files that I have is all about wanting to have as much information available to me as possible. There are a number of things that most people would consider trash or would simply digitize and destroy the physical copy. However, more often than not, I have utilized the amassed hoard of information that I have on hand to find different items or figure out dates on short notice. Additionally, I have gone through enough computers and digital storage devices to know that just because something is digitized doesn’t mean that it can’t be lost or destroyed. For me, having both available is the best option.

And that presents another issue. Well, in reality, it is simply a project that has to be completed. All of the files that we now have about the property need to be scanned and sorted for easy reference. We obviously have the physical papers on hand but, as stated above and what will be written about again in the near future, it is prudent to have both the physical and digital copies stored and easily retrievable. More so than some of the other documents I have crammed into my drawers, we really can’t afford to lose these. After all, it is not just a house as it was when we made an offer, this is our home.

New Project For A New Year

One of the ancillary benefits of being a mason and knowing most of the brothers at the lodge is that, over the years, I have gotten to know most of the professions, occupations, skills, and connections that can be found among the brethren. This past year, especially over the last six months, I have leveraged that knowledge and called upon my fellow brothers for their assistance and I have been tremendously happy with the experiences that I have had thus far. Heck, I don’t think that our real estate search or estate planning would have gone as smoothly had we used anyone else.

The hard work that my fellow masons have put forth on those personal projects is why I made a point to stand at our last stated meeting of the year and make their assistance and talent known. We are here to help one another. Sometimes it is in a direct manner serving as a realtor or attorney, sometimes it is about giving advice which I have done from time to time, and other times it is simply making the expertise known to the lodge or introducing brothers to one another who may not have had the opportunity to meet otherwise.

It was with this last concept in mind that I decided to start a new project for the coming year. Of course, I got the idea approved and made sure my assistant was on board as he will be doing the bulk of the work. It is a rather simple endeavor which is to pull together a lodge business directory which we will make available, physical and digital copies, to all the brothers of the lodge. This way when any of us are in need of a service or advice we know who to call. Unlike the general listings in the Yellow Pages, we know for certain that we can trust the person on the other end of the conversation and that they truly have our best interests at heart.

And I’m not even done trying to find brothers with which I can entrust some personal projects (mainly house work). I am in touch with a few other brothers to take care of some finishing work that needs to be done and I am looking forward to endorsing them as I have done for other brothers in the past. So, my advice to other brothers reading this post (or anyone involved in any kind of organization for that matter) is to take the time and get to know everyone and pull a similar directory together to share among the members of the lodge. After all, you never know when you might be in need of a brother’s help, aid, or assistance.

Digital Cleanup

The office situation at the lodge is pretty obvious to all the brethren who have ventured down into the basement. One thing that they don’t see is just how much digital clutter is accumulated on the weekly, monthly, and annual basis. Not only that but there are other documents and lists that need to be updated and organized in order for me to do my job without pulling my hair out. It is definitely a process but at least I don’t have to actually be at the lodge in order to make progress on this front. It is all on the computer and on the email server which makes it both easier and harder at the same time.

Over the summer I did my best to try and make some headway with the dozens of folders and thousands of unfiled emails but there never seems to be much progress when time is limited and the emails keep coming in. Besides, this project, while important, is well down on the list of things that I need to get done on a monthly basis. However, it seems as though there is now a time limit to this virtual endeavor as there is a new system rolling out in the spring which will switch over everything from what I know to a platform of which I am familiar but with which I do not agree.

At this point it is really a question as to how much work I want to put into this digital cleanup when I am not sure what the transition is going to mean over the next few months. I agree that the other ancillary files on the computer, those not reliant upon the online portal, should and will be updated but what about all the records being housed there? I actually believe that, having had some previous experience with the provider chosen, I should be backing everything up, copying it from the current portal, and hoping that I don’t have to manually input it later. In this highly digital age, there is something to be said about the additional security locally housed data (and hard copies) can provide.

So I guess this is all a roundabout way of saying that while the digital housekeeping will continue, it will be more strategic than productive. We are a fraternity full of history, tradition, and ritual most, if not all, of which relies on the accuracy and completeness of our records. I don’t want to run the risk of losing any of that. Sometimes it is best to stick with the way that things have always been done. At least for now.

Overdue Project

Of all the projects that have been talked about at the lodge time and again there is one that piques my interest each time that it is brought to the forefront of the conversation. The discussions have been ongoing about reallocating different spaces in the lodge to fill our various needs one of which is moving the Secretary’s office to the main floor. I fully support this idea but I also do my best to stay out of the back and forth unless someone asks for my opinion. After all, it is just a room, I can do the work no matter where there is a place set aside in the lodge whether it remains in the back of the basement or it is right off the main hall on the ground floor. The change would be nice but it doesn’t really matter.  

Not long after being raised I began spending a fair amount of time in the basement assisting the previous Secretary with the various tasks that fill the weeks between gatherings and the nights after the meetings. For all of its flaws, it has always been a bit of an escape for me. However, when I assumed the office shortly after that, it was painfully clear just how much work needed to be done in the space to simply make it functional again. And in my first year as Secretary, the situation didn’t get any better when a leak was discovered streaming down the outside wall. Needless to say, the “organization” project never got back on track after that and I rarely venture below grade these days.

That is a projects that is long overdue… finding some sanity in the office and turning this old fallout shelter (designated by the town years ago) into a fully functional working space not just for me but for any of the brothers who need a place to privately meet at the lodge. What it really comes down to is setting aside the time, convincing a few brothers to do the same, coordinating with the Trustees to sort the material crammed within the walls, and cleaning out the entire room. It actually might be best to just hit the reset button and start from scratch.

We need to consolidate the furniture and figure out what is really needed in the space. Part of that will be consolidating the filing cabinets after sorting through the draws full of files with the Trustees overseeing this operation. And finally, it is about simply getting rid of all the trash and clutter that has accumulated over the years from old phone books and computers to empty boxes and brittle desk organizers. It seems like a quick and easy endeavor but I know that it’s not. This is going to take some time and some significant effort but I do have a plan together to finally get it done next year. Let’s just hope that it sticks on the calendar.

Sunday Search: Beyond The Camera

The McKannan Family c. 1920:
(L-R) William Jacob, William Reuben, Robert James, Helen Walker (Fulton).

In the last few years of my grandmother’s life, she went back and forth between wanting to pass things along to many of us (I will never forget her telling me that she wanted me to have her, and my grandfather’s, High School class rings) and just wanting to get rid of things “because no one would want them”. Unfortunately, what she thought no one would want were the piles of family photos piled in many of the drawers in my parent’s house. In hindsight, I wish I had told her that I wanted to see them from time to time and ask her who everyone was. Definitely a missed opportunity.

Thankfully there are some photos that have survived and recently I came across a few of the older photographs that I don’t remember ever seeing. While sorting through the boxes and files that have been piled in my office for the past several months, I came across a Priority Mail box that my Aunt had sent to me just prior to our move out of the old apartment last year. I had put it aside with the plan of opening it once we got settled and looking through what I thought would be an album of photos from when my mom was growing up.

When I finally pulled the tab on the box I peered in and saw an expected album along with an envelope. I first pulled out the bound pages and only half of it was about what I was expecting. There were also photos from long before that time back to around the year that my grandparents met. I didn’t think that this discovery could get better until I put the binder aside and opened the envelope.

In this unassuming package I found, in layers and layers, a wealth of family history in images. Sliding from one photo to the next, I was unaware of the existence of each image. Some of them were simple portraits and family photos while overs told a little more about the lives of the people in those images. Knowing the basic family history beforehand only added to the story even behind those moments captured. Having done the research, I know that the following photo shows my grandfather around 1910 as a driver for a local grocery store (as was recorded in the 1910 federal census).

Additionally, looking at the family portrait at the top of this post (my great grandparents, grandfather, and great uncle) I can’t help but think about what is happening beyond the scope of the camera. The picture was take around 1920 and shows a family of four. At one point, in 1919 and early 1920, this was a family of six (my great aunts passed away in 1920 and 1922 respectively). By the end of 1922, this was a family of three with my great grandmother having succumb to a stroke in September of that year. It just goes to show that pictures are truly representative of a single moment in time.

Of course, this is just a couple of the photos that have been shared with me and just the stories behind the photos that I have been able to piece together. There are still a lot of images that I have yet to scan, people in those photos that I have to identify, and stories that I hope to find. It is an ongoing project that I hope never ends but I need help from the family to accomplish that… I just hope that I don’t come across another situation when people don’t think that anyone wants these pieces of family history. I want to do everything I can to avoid that situation and prevent that regret for not talking about the photos and asking about family history. Definitely a lot of work but well worth the effort.

Not The Kind Of Day I Look Forward To Or Enjoy…

I had been dreading today for weeks now (i.e. procrastinating) and I have, unfortunately, done everything that I could to postpone, delay, and generally ignore the issue for too long. Of course, every time I did that things got a little worse with a little more dust collecting in the corners. Today, like many times before, we finally took the time to clean the apartment. Well, at least most of it as there is still about twenty five square feet that is still unusable as a result of the delays in getting the leak ‘fixed’. It’s only been about six weeks (or more).

Anyway, even with that section of the apartment out of commission, there was still plenty of areas that needed to be addressed and sorting projects that needed to be checked off the list. What was a little different this time was that we were both finally ready to get a handle on the problem so we were able to go back and forth getting small things done one after the other. Of course, I made sure that my wife had a few projects to do where she could sit at the dining table which was were much of the sorting took place.

As a result of this deep dive into the dust and unsorted mess, we found a number of things that we had both forgotten about as they were set aside for one reason or another to be dealt with at a later time. From books, to papers, to cloths, we had a variety of such discoveries and now they have been put back where they are supposed to be and where they are readily accessible. However, one of the things that is all too common is the realization of how much crap you have accumulated and how many things should have been thrown away but, for some reason, weren’t.

Between cleaning and sorting out the crap, I hauled nine trash bags to the dumpster throughout the day. Also, as is a natural result of our deep cleanings, we set aside a few bags of things that we will be giving away and a few items that we will be selling (mostly books and DVD’s). It was just one of those times when we realized that we hadn’t been missing them and haven’t taken them off the shelf for such a long time that it wasn’t worth the limited space to keep them. I am sure there will be more stuff once we are able to complete the cleaning and sorting (see roadblock above).

So now, after some sweeping, vacuuming, and dusting, I am finally taking the time to relax for the day knowing that this project is far from over. In addition to the things that we need to take care of in the main living space we still have piles of laundry to do and an entire office to sort. But, we made progress and the apartment does feel a lot better than when we got up this morning. Finally, there seems to be an end in sight.

Membership Audit

For the past two weeks I have going through the lodge membership line by line, name by name, birthday by birthday. My thought was that since we had just completed the financial audit of the lodge, why not put some effort into a membership audit. This is an important project that I have been meaning to start ever since I decided to take on the office of Secretary as there were too many instances, even a few since I took office, when it was discovered that a brother had either passed earlier within the year or, sometimes, even years ago.

This whole thing goes back to a blog I posted last week about the difficulties of keeping I touch but, in this instance, the job is ten if not one hundred times harder. We have so many brothers coming in and out and officers rotating around the lodge that sometimes we can lose sight of the people that are not around us every month. We also find that brothers move out of the area and nature gradually takes a toll on their bodies as well.

Unfortunately, we have not had a process in place for the families of individual brothers to inform the lodge of our passing. It has always been something that was conveyed by word of mouth with documentation rarely available. In recent years the communications have slowly deteriorated, Masonic funeral services becoming less and less frequent, and now here we stand trying to catch up and find all those brothers that have been called off from labor. This issue is particularly prevalent among those brothers who have been a member of the fraternity for over 50 years as they no longer pay dues and therefore our communication with them is limited even further.

However, this year we seem to have hit a turning point as we have put greater emphasis on keeping in touch with our distant and elderly brethren. While no system is perfect and I am sure that there will be the occasional oversight here and there, we are at least refocusing our efforts to ensure that those we may not see on a monthly basis are not forgotten. This may seem like an obvious thing to do but think about how many people you have lost touch with in your life and imagine having to do that for an entire lodge, even those people you have never personally met previously before.

So, with the conclusion of the audit the sad news stands that nine brothers were called off from labor in the last few years that were never reported to us. Even though the passing of these brothers was months and years ago, we will still be sure to remember them during lodge and make sure we reflect on the contributions they made to the fraternity. And every time, every month that we pause to remember, I am glad that I have my letter filled out already and ready for my wife to mail just in case anything should happen to me. You never know. I just don’t want to create more work for a future Secretary.