Sunday Search: The Events Of Each Generation

When researching the lives of my ancestors I am always cognizant of the larger events happening in the world around them. Additionally, I constantly think about the way of life and what would have been part of their daily consciousness during that period of time. Sometimes I am able to find direct connections to those events or ways of life like military service, prohibition, or the expansion and prevalence of the railroad industry.

However, it is important to remember (and sometimes I have to remind myself), that the stories are there we just have to allow our ancestors to tell them. We can't expect to find anything or wish to find a connection to a person or event. We must look at their lives as we do our own and cherish facts (good and bad) like memories. In my opinion, this is a critical in understanding your ancestors and the lives that they lived.

It is this same thought process that is important for us to remember in our own lives as well. While there are many people who have a direct connection to 9/11, there are even more of us that have been impacted by this tragedy in one way or another. Our lives are different because of it and, in many instances, the courses of our lives have been altered by it. Some more so than others.  

This, unfortunately, is an event that has shaped our time similar to how the various events in history have shaped the lives of our ancestors. Not only does this remain a vivid memory but the time in which we live has allowed us to experience it as it happened, in real time, and also relive the horrors of that September morning. This is both good and bad for obvious reasons.

We had instant access to information and readily available (to a certain extent) communication with loved ones. This wasn’t always the case and it actually makes me wonder if previous generations were better off simply not knowing until long after the fact. But, we can’t change the time in which we live, and, similarly, we can ascribe modern technology and thought process to previous generations… a common mistake that I see much too often.

This is life and the world in which we live. While we may not always like it, we have to accept it. And the same can be said for our ancestors. We may not always agree with the common practices or mentalities of the time but those are the realities of the world for that generation. It is difficult at times, but we have to remove ourselves, and our modern perspective, from the lives of our ancestors and let them tell us the stories about their lives.  

Mortgage Monday: Home For Independence Day

I have watched or heard the fireworks on Independence Day in a variety of different places throughout my life but, despite the silence filling the night this year, this was the first year that really took on a deeper meaning for me. In addition to being able to trace back my family to that time in United States history, there is a much more basic connection to the 4^th of July that I now carry with me. I now own a piece of that very land over which we fought the British Army.

As far as I know, there weren’t any great battles or notable residents on my land but it was nevertheless, a small piece of the colonies which was liberated from tyranny. The details remain unknown to me but the fact of the matter is that whomever live on this land was set free with the passing of this “radical” declaration of independence. It is with this in mind that I think about all that could have possibly transpired among the trees that fill my property. There is even the possibility that, while unlikely, one or more of my ancestors could have set eyes on this land.

This is one of the interesting aspects of researching this period of time in my family’s history. While the bulk of the research consists of tracing back, generation by generation, to the time of the revolution, there is also the research into where those ancestors lived and, when applicable, where they served. It is in this further reading when we get a much better sense of the lives that our ancestors lived but knowing where they traveled before, during, and after the war.

While I have been able to trace back to the Siege at Yorktown, the Battle of Brandywine, and the Battle of Long Island, there are still other journeys which remain undiscovered and many lines that need to be investigated further. There are also questions that still endure both in the service of individuals and in the subsequent generations many of which, ironically, tracing back to the land in which they lived and the shifting boarders that are prolonging the research process.

In the end, most of the lines in my family came to and/or fought for this country/colony because of land and identity. They needed to find a place where they belonged, somewhere that could provide them with a home, and where they could enjoy the freedom of personal identity. And while much of this history had been lost for decades (sometimes longer) we are now rediscovering this national and family history. For me, it is a great feeling to have somewhere that I belong, a home and land that I own, and an identity which acknowledges both the past and the present.   

No Shoe For You!

The last couple of years we have been able to round up the brothers and converge en masse in Conshohocken to take the shoe for the remainder of the year. It seems as though, like many things, time has gotten away from me a bit and the reminders weren’t as frequent as they have been in the past. This was clearly an issue last night as our turnout to the last official district visitation of the year wasn’t nearly what it had been during our previous efforts. Because of this we all got in our cars knowing that another lodge would be holding the shoe until the calendar changes.

However, while we may not have walked away with the shoe, it was a great night when I was able to reconnect with some brothers I had not seen since this same meeting last year while others I was meeting for the first time… at least I think it was the first time. It was during these moments of re-acquaintance that some of the best conversations of the evening took place and I was able to find many more commonalities with a few of my brothers which I had not realized previously. Of course, as usual, there were also moments when I realized more clearly just how much more I have yet to experience in the fraternity.

The meeting itself is always a little odd for me as I am used to sitting in the east for the duration and actively playing a role in all meetings. Sitting on the sidelines for the entire meeting is something that I am simply not used to doing. I can’t tell you how many times that I nearly stood up when I heard only two raps from the gavel. That being said, there were things that I was able to observe from this perspective as I watched another secretary take charge. There were some things that I didn’t prefer while there were other items that I will certainly incorporate moving forward.

However, there was a singular moment that caught me completely off guard. As the names of those brothers that were suspended was read to those in attendance, my mind stuttered a little when I heard a brother who shares my family name was no longer in good standing. I guess this year my work will have to go beyond my lodge and I need to improve my communication not just with the brethren but within my own family as well. After all, no matter you endeavor, which is how we learn and that is how we band together both as brothers and as a family, separately and together.

Another Month Gone, One Month To Go

It is rather astounding to think about how much has changed over the past month. Even with the few challenges that we have encountered with an ear infection, fever, and multiple teeth making their way to the surface, it was a great month that provided us with a number of amazing transformations. Probably the most interesting have been the awareness and cognition that our son seems to have now in comparison to previous months.

When we walk into another room for a minute he understandably gets upset unless we tell him that we will be back in a minute or we keep talking to him while we grab out phone, clothes, computer, etc. When my wife says that Daddy is home, our son looks toward the door and waits to hear it open. Sometimes he will even crawl into the hallway so he can watch daddy walk in. Either way, it is usually accompanied with him waving hi as I walk through the side entrance.

He is also much more mobile now having gone from sliding backward on his belly to crawling circles around his mommy in the playroom and chasing the train as it sings while traversing the playroom. It is a big difference from just a month ago when he took great pride in showing us that he could sit up all by himself. And an even bigger difference from the days when we were waiting to see the first time he would roll over on his own. Things are changing so fast.

Now we are less than a month away from his first birthday. Eleven months and our lives are completely different. I can’t believe it has already almost been a year. Given all that happened that day it will undoubtedly be a day of mixed emotions but, above all else, one of disbelief as neither my wife nor I can get around the fact that a year has already passed since our lives took such a drastic change. And that was just the beginning of a year that was probably the most hectic that any of us has ever experienced.

So many changes and differences but, when we look at our son, when we see the smile on his face and hear the joy in his laugh, it is all put in perspective. He is our miracle and he has been the one to get us through the tough moments. Watching him change and grow keeps us on our toes but also pushed us out of bed in the morning with a wonder of what is he going to do next that can’t really be put into words. It is an amazing feeling and I can’t believe that we have been waking up to that feeling for over eleven months now.

Knowing Your Neighbors

Don't be this guy!

Growing up I knew all the neighbors especially the few other kids on our small street. It was nice being able to go from house to house, yard to yard, and know that I could always be reached if I was needed at home (this was before cell phones). It really was like having a giant front yard where we could play, go sledding, or ride our bikes. Everyone knew everyone.

While I still make a point to introduce myself to our neighbors, I am not as diligent on making sure I meet each one. I guess there is something about the impermanence of renting that just makes it seem like there are better ways I could spend my time. This is rather selfish, I admit, but, oddly enough, it has also allowed me to spend the time getting to know more people. Rather than going out of my way, I let things happen and eventually, I am able to meet everyone and find out a little bit about those who live and work around me.

I just let things happen and when we have a chance to meet I do my best to engage in an interesting conversation. Of course, those of you who know me also know that when you get me talking it is almost always going to be a lengthy discussion regardless of the topic. So, in the end, I guess you could call this passive aggressive networking. So far it has worked for me (at home, work, and lodge) and I have gotten to know some great people this way.

I enjoy working with people on a daily basis and find that this approach allows me to treat others as friends more than just someone who lives or works near me and I have treated these relationships accordingly. And the mutually beneficial aspects have been fantastic. We all have different networks of people and sometimes we can connect others either because of business or common interest. While I have given business to others, a number of people have introduced me to contacts that have, in turn, saved me a heck of a lot of time and money.

What I am trying to say is don’t just learn someone’s name. Get to know those around you. Know what your neighbors do for a living (I will try to do a better job of this when we are in a place that we own). Know what your colleagues’ interests are and those in neighboring businesses. Know the occupations and interests of your fellow brethren (or those members in an applicable club, religious institution, etc). You will almost certainly be surprised to find that you have more in common with the people around you than you realize and there is a tremendous opportunity to help those around you and they will usually return the favor in kind. Plus, it is just nice (and comforting) to know the people around you.  

A New Year, A New Perspective, A New Prayer

I am both happy and sad to see this year come to a close and the next one begin. There have been some great times of celebration and also moments that I wish we could forget. It has been a year of polar opposites that has left many of us tired and longing to begin anew… to have a fresh start… to enjoy another chance at seeing the calendar change with only joy filling the previous months. Next year, I hope.

Interestingly, the Rosh Hashanah holiday contains the same paradox as that which I feel when looking back over the year. As is posted on the Aish website:

“The holiday of Rosh Hashanah contains a paradox. On the one hand, we are taught that Rosh Hashanah is the judgment day of mankind. The righteous are granted another year of life, the wicked are slated for destruction, and the average are given until Yom Kippur to mend their ways and merit another year (Talmud Rosh Hashanah 16b).

“We should be begging G-d for another year of life in the hope we can influence our judgment for the better. G-d’s court is convened. Our books are open. This is our big chance to pray for life.”

In addition to restarting the relationships we have for others through the admission of our faults, sins, and wrongdoings, we also make the same plea to G-d for forgiveness. While I can’t honestly say that I am one to give a clean slate to some people, I do my best to admit my mistakes and try my hardest to move past the wrongdoings of others. This is definitely easier said than done.

However, one of the things that has become more apparent to me over this past year in general and over the past couple of weeks in particular is the need that we have, my wife and I, to reconnect with G-d and the Jewish community in general. We need to do this not just for ourselves but, more importantly, for our son. We want him to know the world and his creator, we want him to understand and embrace all the aspects of faith, family, love, and life that make him who he is and make him such a precious gift in this world. After all…

“The purpose of the world is that mankind recognizes G-d and makes the world a reflection of His glory. G-d judges each of us on Rosh Hashanah not just based on our deeds, but based on how much we were a part of that grand mission. By identifying with and praying for G-d’s kingship to be revealed, we demonstrate that we want to be a part of the world’s purpose. We restart our relationship with G-d and redevote ourselves to Him. True, we might not have been perfect this past year, but we know what the world is about and we want to be a part of it. We want another year of life. We want to make the world a better place.”

Basically, I want him to not have the long list of things at the end of the year for which to ask for forgiveness like his father. I want him to not only have every opportunity in life but the confidence, conviction, faith, love, and support to take advantage of those opportunities. I want him to forever be a gift unto the world regardless of the path he chooses to take in life. I just want him to be a better man than I have thus far proven to be in this life and not look back with the same regrets. This is what I hope this and every new year brings.

Graduation Party

Today was one that made me think about my own experiences and left me in a state of slight disbelief. We spent a good part of the afternoon at a family get together to celebrate the graduation of a cousin. Oddly enough, the timing worked out almost perfectly and we were all ready to go and out the door with more than enough time to make it down the highway to the party. Given that we left the same time our son usually eats, this was a surprise to both of us.

The party itself was great. Not only was it nice to celebrate this milestone in life but it was also an opportunity to see a lot of family members that we had not had a chance to speak with since the bris. Things have changed quite a bit since then and the change of pace was welcomed. And, I must say, these people sure know how to throw a party.

One of the things that I couldn’t help but think about was the fact that this year marks 15 years since I had the same kind of celebration. I just can’t believe that it has been that long even though there are many days when it seems like an entire lifetime has passed since I celebrated my graduation along with my siblings (each of them graduated from college the same year). When reflecting on this, there are so many family members that I am friendly with now that I wish I had known better then.

Of course, there are a lot of things that I wish was different about that time in my life. The changes in attitude, perspective, motivation, and experience are staggering when considering my life now compared to my personality immediately after high school. There is a reason why I ended up on the 5 year college program. Thankfully, the one whom we were celebrating today seem to have their head on right and has the motivation to succeed.

When asked to write something to the graduate today there was no way that I was going to say something similar to that above. There really isn’t a need for that. All I could say was to enjoy each day (individually and as a whole), work hard, and take advantage of all the opportunities and experiences that come your way during this time in your life. After all, you may not know exactly where they are going to take you but so long as you keep your head on straight, they will all provide you with a life that is full, vibrant, and makes you excited every day to get out of bed in the morning.

Kind of wish that I had heeded my own advice as a teenager but, in the end, it may have not been a perfect ride so far but I wouldn’t change any of it. Okay, maybe one or two or twelve things but all those experiences made me who I am now and I am pretty darn happy with that. Some of you may not be but I am feeling really good about the way things have turned out.

So, I leave you with this clichéd question to think about (and possibly respond below): Knowing what you do know, the experiences that you have had, and the mistakes that you made, what advice would you give to yourself when you graduated high school?  

Three City Friendship

Our old lunch spot half a block from the office in New York City. 

After not having seem one of my best friends in nearly four years we have now had the chance, however brief it may have been each time, to get together twice in the mast couple of months. This time I was able to introduce him (and his welcoming parents) to our son who actually has the same name. It is still a little odd considering that we used to see one another nearly every day when we both worked for the same PR agency in Manhattan years ago. After having made the time on a business trip to Chicago in late March, he was in the Philadelphia area for a wedding this past weekend.

Since those days of long lunch breaks (mostly at Ben’s on 38^th Street) and lengthy conversations after work while we walked to the train there have been a lot of changes that have happened in each of our lives. And I’m not just talking about geography. It is really interesting to think about how our perspectives have shifted since then and the experiences that we have both had that have brought each of us to this point in our lives.

While my wife and I have moved around quite a bit finally settling back in the area where we grew up, my friend has done the opposite by moving away from family and now enjoying a successful career in the middle of the country. Since the day that we first met at the office we have each gotten married (and were groomsmen at each other’s wedding) with my wife and I taking the next step by starting a family and my friend finally breaking free from a wife that, to put it nicely, epitomized the greed and self-centeredness that seems to becoming more pervasive in the younger generations. While completely different journeys we are both happy with where we are now and what seems to be just beyond the horizon.

Even with everything going on, good times and bad, we have always remained in contact and did our best to keep things in perspective for one another. I can’t stress enough the importance of having a friend that offer this when you need it. We have each had some great times and some difficult times of the years and it has been nice getting together lately to talk about the positive changes that have happened and the optimism that is now part of our daily routines. Even when we shared a common company this was not always the case.

Hopefully, the visits will become less sporadic in the future as we continue to enjoy life and the different paths we chose to take. If anything, it is interesting to hear about the different turns and detours that life can take us on. Regardless, we will be certain to talk on a regular basis (not always a guarantee with me as many of you know) and keep one another up to date as to the great changes and experiences that come our way.

Where Did February Go?

I knew heading into the month that this was going to be a bit of a challenge both at work and at home. The shortened calendar provides a bit of a crunch with regard to billing and just making sure everything is accomplished within the confines of the calendar. Two days may not seem like a lot but that is about 2 hours of billable time per person that are lost. Thankfully, that all seemed to work out and I was still able to put in my usual 200 hours. Of course this also shortened my lodge timeline a bit and I am still trying to make up for time lost.

However, work and lodge are far down the list of things that colored the calendar. My wife and I began the month as a family of two and now we find ourselves bringing the last day to a close with a son nearly two weeks old. It was a month that also saw a tremendous loss to our family… thankfully it is a short month and the page on the calendar can be quickly turned. Two days makes a hug difference in this regard.

The month began interestingly enough with all the football fanatics going into warm weather hibernation, Phil declaring that we were screwed for at least six more weeks, and Brian Williams announcing that he was not a highlander and has not shaped the course of history since the big bang. That same week I witnessed quite the interesting lodge meeting followed by the raising of another brother the following week. It was a unique experience going from seeing boys transformed into men through scouting and a man transformed into a mason a few days after.

Things were also busy at the office as we waited for Rip Torn to tell us what was going to happen next. This compounded the whole billing situation mentioned above. Things were just beginning to calm a little when my wife and I reached the fateful weekend that brought us to Bryn Mawr Hospital two days in a row. Of course, since the arrival of our son my perspective has changed just a wee bit. All the chaos from the first half of February just seemed to go away, the subsequent scramble to catch up doesn’t seem to bother me like it used to, and the rest of the days in the month just evaporated leaving only the memories behind. I know it happened but at this point I really don’t know what happened to February.

Firearms Friday: Safe

Having brought my son home just a couple of days ago from the hospital for the first time I am glad that I already have a means to protect my family locked away in the house. What many people (parents in particular) fail to realize is that you are the first line of defense when it comes to keeping your family safe. With that said, that safety comes in two parts: safe from those threats that want to harm you and your family and protecting your young (especially new) children from that which they do not yet understand.

The first is quite evident as there is no question that if someone breaks into our home, I will be sure to greet them in manner fitting of their illegal entry. Yes, the police will be called but they cannot instantly appear to fit the situation. Until they arrive, I am the only one between the threat and my family. It really is that simple.

The second is a matter of common sense. If you own a firearm you should keep it locked up whether or not you have kids. Why take the risk when you can have them secured and out of the reach of anyone and everyone that should have access to them. This is especially true when you consider the fact that there are a variety of secure quick access options that you can keep near your bed.

These are just the top two things that came to mind that first day and night at home with the baby. Of course, when he gets older I will make sure that he is familiar with and respects firearms but I will still keep everything locked away. Safety is something that should never be assumed… that is when accidents happen. Rather, safety should be practiced even if you believe that you and everyone in your home (regardless of age) are familiar with and respect firearms.

Just the simple subject of firearms is something that my wife and I have never agreed on 100%. However, she knows that I would never be unsafe and practice the above level of safety in our home. For the most part, from the beginning she has understood that this is my hobby and it is what I enjoy doing. With that said, ever since we found out that we were having a child my wife has come to better understand that safety that this ‘hobby’ provides to both her and our child. She may not be as adamant but she understands my perspective.

Don’t Be Albert Brooks!

All the extra hours at the office and at home this week came to a head today as many of my colleagues were out of the office at a client meeting in Judgement City. Actually, it was more than a meeting. We have spent the last couple of weeks preparing for our defense as our client (at the direction of someone else in the company) opened up the business to a variety of public relations firms. Thankfully, we not only have the knowledge and relationship to back us up but we have the results to demonstrate the work that we have put into this account over the past year.

Having previously met with this particular client and with everything that is swirling around in my life right now, we all agreed that I should stay at the office and make sure that someone was actively working on the account while we were also defending the business. It really was an odd feeling sitting at my desk and pitching another great story while my colleagues were making our case. However, no matter how unique the situation, I still had a job to do and so I put my head down and pushed like I have every other day of the year.

So during the middle of the meeting, I am sending emails to our client of the opportunities that have been secured and the interviews that have been requested. Nearly every person in the room was receiving the same email demonstrating another successful product launch as the challenges were fielded in a small conference room. We all had a job to do today and frankly I am glad that I was back in the office doing what I know how to do best… getting media coverage.  

While this is going on I could help but think of Albert Brooks in Defending Your Life. Actually, it is more along the lines of the Meryl Streep character in that movie when everyone knows that she lived a full life without fear but she still has to go through the process and stand trial anyway. While I certainly would have liked to have achieved more over the past year (this is the common disease that every successful person and firm in this industry shares), the work that we did get done could not have been matched by another firm.

The meeting is over and soon the week will be coming to an end. Now we wait for the decision while we continue pitching, scheduling, and producing the results that we have been since the relationship began. After all, this process is nothing new and we still have a job to do.

Hospital Perspectives

Having been to many different hospitals over the years for a variety of reasons I have really some to not enjoy the experience but have become unfazed by the environment and having to spend countless hours within their walls. While much of that calmness depends on the reasons for making the trip there, the majority of my experience has been of the non-life-threatening variety. Mostly those stays have involved pain and/or preventative measures… in some cases, like allergic reactions, it would have been a different scenario had we waited any longer.

Lately many of those brief visits to the medical compounds have been to check in on our son. These have been a welcomed change to the history that my wife and I both have with many of those medical buildings. It is here that we have been able to both see and hear our baby and really get lost in each and every moment. It is those times when the world melts away and any pain, discomfort, and stress disappears for a fleeting moment… it is better than any medication that any doctor could administer.

However, last week I was reminded of how much hospital trips can suck as I had to take a family member to the emergency room at 1:00am (it was not my wife so don’t freak out). It was a pain that I was all too familiar with having had a kidney stone in the past but this one seemed to be a lot worse. At least by what I could observe. And while we were able to quickly move through triage that is where the quick pace ended. 

This was the first time that I had been to the emergency room at this particular hospital in Chester County and I can’t say that I would rank it very high on the long list of hospitals and emergency rooms that I have visited during my life. The staff was slow and many of them didn’t seem like they knew what they were doing… while waiting in a "room" surrounded by curtains, I could actually hear a handful of staff members asking their colleagues where they were supposed to be. It really was a long cluster of a night/morning that dragged on for hours.

Once the pain was managed and the discharge papers signed, we headed back out into the cold and slalomed down the slightly icy roads. By the time I got back home I had about 15 minutes to sleep before my alarm would start going off. Needless to say I got to work a little later than usual last Friday.

And now with that experience fresh in my mind I am looking forward to what will hopefully be my next trip to the hospital. It won’t be much longer before I will welcome the trip to the hospital and anxiously pace around the room waiting for the birth of our child to happen. While all these other memories will remain, I am eagerly waiting for this new experience to be the prominent thought in my mind when I think about hospitals.

Just An Inconvenience

 

In the 45 minutes that is took for our food to arrive at the table, Armageddon had already passed by the front window. What had been a nearly empty restaurant when we arrived was quickly beginning to fill up as those without power poured in the through the doors for a late dinner. With the occasional flickering of the lights, the dining room filled to near capacity with new guests arriving and those who had been there long before we arrived refusing to leave.

By the time we walked out the door the winds had calmed and the rain was a slow drizzle of large drops. The street was spotted with a confetti of leaves and the clouds began to lighten as we approached our cars. It was just a quick storm but the sirens and fire trucks charging down the road let us know that the rain was not the primary concern. It didn’t take long before we found ourselves inching up to inoperable intersections that seemed to encourage people to put their foot down and pray that no one decided to turn in front of them.

My wife continued down the road as I quickly stopped by the lodge to check the building. It didn’t take long and I was back on the road within a few minutes. About halfway home my phone rang and I can’t say I was surprised when my wife said that the power was out at our apartment building. Because of changes made since we moved in two and half years ago, this is no longer a rare occurrence. During Sandy, with the old systems in place, the power stayed on… now, 20-30 minutes of intense wind and rain and the building is completely shut down. Thanks PECO! In fact, the power remained absent from our apartment until the early morning hours when we were both trying to sleep in a pool of sweat.  

At least we didn’t have to clean the fridge out… yes, that issue has yet to be resolved. As if we didn’t need the extra motivation to move when our lease is up. But, in the end, this is nothing more than an inconvenience. And without the distraction of the television or internet constantly barraging my senses, it has forced me to think about what many of our friends are experiencing in Israel. As I write this there are rockets headed toward Tel Aviv and toward our old (literally) neighborhood in Jerusalem. And while there is a certain part of me that is glad that we are here with this minor inconvenience there is another part of me that wishes we were there with our friends standing together as if to say “bring it, we’re not going anywhere!” This is just an inconvenience. Baruch Hashem and may G-d bless and keep Israel and her people safe during this period of conflict and for all time.

Quarter For Your Thoughts: Part II

 

I know you have already read about my little excursion to Erie over the weekend but I didn’t talk much about the actual meeting and my experiences with my fellow brothers. While there is much that I cannot divulge, I can still talk about things in broad terms to give you a little flavor as to the purpose of my trip. While I have attended a Quarterly Communication of the Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania in the past (you can read about it here), this was the first time that I traveled any significant distance to such a meeting.

From the time I arrived at the hotel to the moment I departed, I was in the midst of what can best be described as a family atmosphere. Sure there are distant cousins that you really don’t know but you understand how you are connected to them. At the same time, there are many people in attendance that are much closer like an immediate family. In the end, you are all brothers sharing the same reunion-like experience.

It is during those events surrounding the actual meeting when you talk with the brothers you do know, reconnect with brothers that you only see on occasion, and introduce yourself to brothers whom you have yet had the chance to meet (it also helps when the DDGM introduces you). This rather easy when you go into the conversation knowing that you already have something in common and it makes future gatherings (whether it is a Quarterly, Annual, or some other Masonic event) more interesting when you can catch up with your fellow brothers. Sometimes it doesn’t even take that long as I found myself sitting at the meeting with a couple of brothers I had just met the day before.

To those who are familiar with the ritual and activities of a local blue lodge, the meeting itself is very similar to a regular lodge meeting. However, it is fascinating to watch the slight differences and see those brothers participating who have achieved such distinction in the craft. It is also interesting to hear about what is taking place across the Commonwealth both at local lodges and with regard to Pennsylvania Freemasonry in general. This is of particular interest to me as I am focusing daily on the activities of my lodge and my district with only the occasional glance as to the Commonwealth. I would discuss this more and in greater detail but there are certain things that must remain unsaid.

When all was said and done there is a little disappointment that things have come to an end but, at the same time, there is anticipation for the next gathering (and not just because it will be at the Grand Lodge in Philadelphia which is a slightly easier commute). This is an experience that too few brothers are embracing and I hope that will change in the future as I look forward not just to the meetings that are close to home but also the ones that take me across the state. It really is just another part of what I enjoy about being a Mason.

Crafting Perspective

Everyone can look back at different points or events in their life and say what if. We all have the lingering regrets that surface if we dedicate too much thought to the past. I don’t care who you are, you know that you have had moments when those thoughts would run through your mind wondering if things would have gone differently if you had made a different decision. While most days these thoughts are nowhere to be found, I have the occasional day when the memories linger like a heavy fog on a cool humid morning.

Regrets, in the right amount, are a healthy part of life. It is the time when the analytical and creative minds meet at a common point and time in your past and try to figure out the scenarios that could have played out. It is actually a fascinating process if you remove yourself from the decision… basically, by taking an objective view of the situation you are able to enjoy the projections and story lines that can be created. It’s like a chose your own adventure book (remember those?) but with a vividness and reality that is seldom achieved through the words on a page.

Of course, in order to do this you have to come to terms with your past decisions. Sure there are moments that you may not be proud of or that may piss you off. Some things were completely in your control and others you had now control over the situation… regardless of the situation you have to leave it in the past. Besides, the clichéd little chestnut is true, all of those events and moments in your past have made you who you are today. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am pretty darn happy with who I am and where I am at this point in my life. There are some things that I wish were a little different but nothing that I would really change.

If you are able to keep things in perspective the creative logic that is applied to your own past can provide you with pages of content and hours of entertainment. I have created many stories and scenes by leveraging my own past and tweaking it to create an alternative timeline to fit the needs of the character and story. As a bonus, once you put a different name in the situation and build an entirely different story arch it, for the most part, removes that trajectory from your own mind and therefore eliminates a avenue of regret.

It may seem odd but it works. This is what makes the creative process so personal at times and why many of us invest so much in the stories that we tell. It is a part of us, a part of our past, a part of our reality… it allows the possibilities of the past contribute to who we are today in a positive and productive way. In the end, embrace the past, good and bad, as well as the realities that did happen and possibilities that never materialized. All of these things are what feed your mind it is up to you weather that is a good thing or bad thing.

Keeping The Travel List In Perspective

As you may have read yesterday, I am finally at the point in the year when I am giving considerable thought to the places that my wife and I would enjoy visiting this summer. Of course, this is in addition to any business travel as well as the lodge related trips to Erie, Scranton, Philadelphia, and, probably, Elizabethtown that I will be making during the sweltering season. Interestingly, while I was thinking about summer travel and putting my list together I came across an email (thanks Vocus) about the top ten destinations as reported by the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Talk about keeping things in perspective!

For those of you unfamiliar with Make-A-Wish, here is the summary of the nonprofit from their website:

Make-A-Wish^® grants the wish of a child diagnosed with a life-threatening medical condition in the United States and its territories, on average, every 38 minutes. We believe that a wish experience can be a game-changer. This one belief guides us. It inspires us to grant wishes that change the lives of the kids we serve.

Not all wishes require travel, many of them do and the foundation is determined to make sure that distance is not a hindrance to the fulfillment of those dreams forming in a child’s mind. 

While my wife and I visit places to get away and relax a bit, for these kids, these are dream destinations, not just a simple means of getting away. However, these trips do offer some sense of escape from reality which seems to be why the destinations tend to focus on places where wish kids and their families can experience the excitement something different whether it is a big city, theme park, foreign country, or beach destination. Based on data from wish trips that occurred in 2013, the destinations most visited by wish kids and their families were:

1. Orlando
2. Hawaii
3. Los Angeles & Orange County
4. The Caribbean
5. New York City
6. San Diego
7. France
8. Italy
9. Australia
10. Alaska

It is an interesting and diverse list and something to think about when putting your own summer itinerary together. We constantly focus on the places where we are going and forget the reasons why we go. It is to spend time together and experience life together beyond the usual routine of life. For some of us all it takes is a day trip while others need a little more and need to go a little further to put their daily lives behind them. We all need a break now and then, some people just need more of a break than others.

Mil Spec Is Not Always Best!

That title will have some firearms enthusiasts writing long responses about the fact that I must be full of it. All of their words penned before they even read this sentence. But, unbeknownst to those raging individuals, this post has nothing to do with firearms beyond the brief mentions in this paragraph.

Mil Spec in this instance stands for ‘Mother-In-Law Specifications’. Having a MIL as a realtor and looking for an apartment can either be a valuable asset in our search to find a new place to live or it can be a challenge. While I don’t anticipate any problems in the process there is always the possibility but I guess you can say that about any realtor.

My wife and I have our list of what we want in an apartment and it really isn’t complicated. However, it is the gray area that usually determines the final outcome. I guess, for me, it comes down to treating my MIL as a realtor and, in this instance, setting aside the fact that we are part of the same extended family. There is a particular saying about opinions which will not be repeated at this time. Sometimes the opinion of a family member (weighted based on how closely you are related of course) makes a difference but there are other decisions that have to be made differently.

As a realtor, I will take her suggestions but once it goes beyond that and there is an attempt to add extra weight to those opinion, that is when we could run into some problems. It is for this reason that I have stated quite clearly, and I am now repeating, that I have no qualms about changing realtors during this process. I definitely know, and have them saved in my phone, other realtors in the area who would be happy to help.

That may seem cold to some but it allows for the separation of what needs to be done and the relationships I have with family members. I have done this my whole life and, up to this point, it has kept my professional life out of my family life (for the most part). Another thing to keep in mind is that this is more for the protection of my family as I am a different person when it comes to work in comparison to my personal family life. Some may use a certain unpleasant descriptor at times similar to donkey cave.

So, while there is nothing really wrong with Mil Spec, sometimes it is not the best option. You have to find what is right for you and what fits your needs. After all, Mil Spec represents one person, one view, and one way of doing things among a plethora of potential options.

Long Awaited Extra Meeting

Every month we have an extra meeting for the conferral of degrees. Obviously, the degrees vary but the schedule remains pretty consistent. Our stated meetings are on the first Thursday of every month with the degree conferrals occurring the following Tuesday. Not a complicated schedule and one that seems to have worked for some time now.

However, in an attempt to make things a little easier for us all during the week, the decision was made to hold the extra meeting on a Saturday morning. With three separate degree conferrals scheduled for the same meeting, this would prevent us from being at lodge until 11:00 PM or later on a Tuesday night. That was the plan. Unfortunately, the weather didn’t agree with our attempt for convenience and after cancelling two Saturdays in a row, it was back to Tuesday night.

As it turned out, we only conferred two degrees on Tuesday evening as one of the new brothers has a growing family that needs his attention. A completely understandable reason to postpone until the following month. So, we began trickling in on Tuesday night as we all looked around and began counting to make sure we had enough to fill in all of the officers positions (elected and appointed). As 7:30 quickly ticked to the present, we had just enough to get things done.

It was a bit of a shuffle, as some brothers were able to physically do more than others so I found myself being shifted around from one place to another, east to west and back east, until I finally took my seat as Senior Deacon. Working in our favor is the fact that degree work has a pretty standard set of minutes that need to be taken so, between degrees, I was able to quickly step over and jot a few details down on the notepad at my desk. The rest of the time was trying to remember what to hand the Worshipful Master and following the directions of others during the meeting.

It was a different experience and one that I believe, to my memory, was the fifth position that I had viewed conferrals from (including my usual spot behind the secretary’s desk). While I prefer to sit in the position to which I have been elected by my fellow brothers, I enjoyed the change of pace for the evening and learning the duties of that officer. As I have said many times before, just being a part of the ritual and ceremony is something that every brother needs to experience, especially when it is during the raising of Master Mason.

Even with the postponement of one of the degrees, I still didn’t get home until about 11 at night (after a little bit of work in the office). This is why we tried to get this moved to Saturday. Hopefully the weather will cooperate the next time we try to make things a little bit easier for everyone during the middle of the work week. Only time will tell but the important thing is that we got everything done and advanced our brothers in their Masonic journeys.

Did You Stop Today?

Janusz Korczak Memorial at Yad Vashem (Jerusalem, 2009).

Today marked the International Holocaust Remembrance Day. This day, determined by the United Nations in 2005 (yes, it took that long), is one of the many days throughout the year when we, Jews and non-Jews alike, should step back, take stock, and embrace all that we have in life. Heck, just enjoy the fact that we have a life that we are living. Even when we have gone through tough times whether financially or physically, I have always made a point to stop. That is the first thing that we all need to do on this day.

We need to take notice of how the Israelis recognize the souls lost during that black hole in our history when they stop (even in the middle of the highway), stand, and remain quiet as the sirens pierce the morning across Israel on their Holocaust Memorial Day (which falls in April/May). It is this act of stopping, of inaction, that accentuates the need for action. Action not just of our minds to remember but in our bodies to act against the evil in this world. We must ensure that the environment is never again fostered to allow something such as this to happen again.

I am not going to proceed by outlining what I believe is right or wrong. You should know that for yourself. You need to stop and look around. Get involved in your community. Get to know your neighbor and know what is happening in the news, in the government, in the schools. Know your rights and be aware of all the actions and inaction that surrounds you. Knowledge is what we need to have to ensure this never happens again not just memory.

Maybe the most important aspect of ensuring that the vicious cycle of history is not continued is to stop and think. Think for yourself rather than letting someone tell you what is true, what is right, what is wrong. If you stop and pay attention to the world you will see that there are many things happening that worrying in this world. Again, I am not going to tell you what to look for, you can probably surmise my views by simply going through previous posts.

However, I think there is one constant that should be embraced… Freedom. Are you living a life that embraces the freedoms that you have and is concerned over the freedoms that have been taken away? Is the ‘interpretation’ of freedom crippling your ability to be free? These are the basic questions that you should ask yourself and what you should do everything in your power to ensure that your freedom is not lost. So stop, think, appreciate what you have, and ensure that you are truly free.

From The Beginning…

I have seen many degree conferrals since becoming a Mason and I have even filled in as an officer on a few occasions in the past but last night was a little different. This time through, for the first time, I watched as two brothers receive their second degree and one man become a Mason from the perspective of and elected officer. While all brothers should take ownership and pride in the conferral of degrees and witnessing the journey that is taking place before their eyes, that feeling is magnified when you play a role in that process, no matter how small that role may be.

Given all the members that pay dues, many of which live close by, I am constantly surprised by the low turnout both at stated meetings and extra meetings as well when we can be witnesses to the same process that we all have gone through. I recently came across a question which asked whether someone can truly call themselves a Mason if they never attend or participate in lodge activities. While there is no clear cut answer to this query, my perspective on the subject is rather simple.

A man becomes a Mason as soon as he receives his first degree and, as an Entered Apprentice, he is then granted all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities of that degree. At that point he is a man who has become a Mason. Later he receives his Fellowcraft degree and raised to the degree of Master Mason (3^rd) and that is when we sometimes lose a few due to misdirection. While many Masons attend stated meetings every month, for most that is the extent of their Masonic experience.

That is really only a fraction of the Masonic experience. In my experience, it is the times beyond the stated meeting that make up what it is to be a Mason. First of all you are always a Mason not just during meetings so being familiar with the craft both in knowledge and action so you can favorably represent the fraternity is critical. Secondly, and on which the first point relies, being a part of the lodge in some way is essential to the pursuit of light and knowledge of the craft as well as the formation of bonds with your brothers. What better way to both remind yourself of that pursuit but also form bonds with new brothers than to be there to greet them at the beginning of their journey.   

These are times that are separate from the rest of the day. While, as I have previously mentioned, there were certainly a lot going on that day, this was one of the rare opportunities to take a break from all of that and focus on what is happening right in from of me. From the opening to the closing charge, it is a window of appreciating the present and a moment that you know is both greater than yourself but also a memory that will live on in the minds of others as well as your own.