Kind Words

Given the subject on which I wrote this past week, there was a bit of irony that played out tonight as I skimmed through the news. It is especially curious since it was only a couple of weeks ago that I did sit down and write a letter in the hope to reconnect with someone who had been so kind to me in the past. It wasn’t until long after the sun had set and our son was asleep in his bed when I learned about the passing of Elie Wiesel. As I read through the remembrances streaming across my computer, I couldn’t help but think about the moment when I received a letter in the mail with his name in the upper left hand side of the envelope.

While we had never met in person, I did correspond with this wonderful man in the past and I had been fortunate to receive his blessing regarding the poems that I originally wrote about Janusz Korzcak. Words that, while brief, carried the weight of the world and of history. At the time I had doubts about whether my writing was honoring the memories of those lost. I have never been one to rely on the approval of others to write but this is a subject and a project that was a completely different scenario. With a few simple sentences, I had the confidence to continue which resulted in the collection that I published this year, What Was Not Said: Echoes From The Holocaust.

What speaks volumes of his legacy is that my interaction with this great man is not a unique experience. He gave more of his time, his energy, his life not just to ensuring the permanence of memory but to the lives of others in pursuit of knowledge and understanding. Dr. Wiesel supported many of us, from near and far, in more ways than most could ever dream. Some were personal interactions while others only got to know him through his words printed on the pages in one of his fifty seven books, countless essays and articles, and numerous interviews and speeches. I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones to have corresponded with this righteous man.

And when we look back on the life of this great man, there is much that we can learn from not just his words but his actions. While he lived through unimaginable horrors, he chose to live with hope and kindness. He pursued the perpetuation of memory and ensured that it served as a means for achieving peace. He was a beacon for the world shining light not just into the darkness of the past but casting a warm glow on the possibilities of the future. Sometimes he would do this on a grand stage in front of thousands or on television in front of millions but also in a classroom in from of a mere dozens or in a conversation, a letter, a phone call one on one. This is why, for many reasons, I now say I will never forget!

Book Update: Finally, Some Progress!

One of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year was to pull together many of the collections of poems and essays that I have compiled over the years and publish them. I have considered this endeavor in the past but was never able to see it to the end. Well, over the past couple of months, I was finally able to see many of those projects come to fruition. It took some time, a considerable amount of energy, and a few dollars but I was finally able to get four books published through Author House.

The first book that I worked on was a collection of poems that I wrote as an undergraduate student at Endicott College. All of the poems in the collection were written at that time, many of them published both in literary journals and in a limited run I pulled together with a local print shop at the time titled Teaching A Stone To Talk: Nature Poems. I am still grateful for the help that I received from Carol Raiche for the formatting the modest book and putting me in touch with the printer.

Now, accompanied with photos taken over the past decade, these poems are once again available in the collection Paintings In Under A Thousand Words: Nature Poems.

Many of the poems found in these pages are all but memories of experiences that have colored my early life. Some see these moments as glimpses of a time past but I see them as paintings formed in slow deliberate strokes that highlight the details of life that instill the feeling of accomplishment when looking at your past. These images don't need the long drawn out descriptions laden with unnecessary letters, they are flashes quick to flood the mind and equally fast in fading back deep into the gray matter. This is why I see these poems, these memories of my encounters with nature, as paintings in under a thousand words.

The next book to be edited was a project that I started while at Endicott and which later served as my Master’s thesis at Rosemont College. The first sequence of poems was published previously both as individual poems in various literary journals and in my first official chapbook, Kaddish Diary, which was published in 2005 by Pudding House Publications. This small collection has long since been out of print and even one of the anthologies that included a couple of the poems has since gone out of print as well. In the years following the publication of the chapbook, I created two additional sequences based on two other works of holocaust literature. However, this collection also remained nearly forgotten on a flash drive for nearly a decade. Now, I have finally brought this project of passion to light in What Was Not Said: Echoes From The Holocaust.

The Holocaust is a subject all of us are aware of but there are countless accounts that are seldom heard. Based on the diaries, letters, and memoirs of Hertha Feiner, Janusz Korczak, and Filip Müller, these poems describe the life surrounding these writings. Every memoir has something missing. This is not a conscious decision by the author; it is the perspective of the writer filtered through the impermanence of memory. Sometimes it is a forgotten foreshadowing phrase said in passing or what is happening outside when their focus is on the room in which they are sitting. These are the aspects painted in this collection.

The next two collections will be quite familiar to many of you as they are collections of posts from this blog. The first of these books consolidated all of the genealogy posts and is really only the first of many that I expect on this topic. It highlights both the process and the discoveries that I have made over the years and includes many family photos and documents that many in the family may have not seen before. I am glad to finally be able to share many of these colorful leaves with the rest of the family in Out On The Limbs: Searching For Answers In The Family Tree.

This is collection which illustrates how one family tree can give shade to the entirety of American history. Each leaf has a little more to add to my family history just as each piece of fall foliage adds to an autumnal landscape. All different trees offering a different variety of colors but working in unison to tell the same story. These essays offer a cross section of topics which includes recent additions to my family tree, interesting resources or programs, and discoveries that have given greater depth to the lives of my ancestors.

The final project in this initial push is the one that means the most to me. Again, these are posts from the blog which spans the past year and a half. This time around, I collected all the posts about the pregnancy and my first year of fatherhood into a single volume. You could even say that this is a baby book taken to the next level. For me this book is a gift to my son and hopefully something that first time parents, especially fathers, will enjoy. After all, it does tell the reader about The Good, The Bad, And The Adorable: My First Year As A Father.

After my son was born I found myself having conversations with other parents about some of the interesting things that I should anticipate happening during the first year. I had not heard about any of these antidotes before and so I wanted to start writing more regularly about these usually humorous occurrences. Arranged chronologically, this book is a collection of both those early posts of doctor appointments and preparations for arrival as well as the more interesting moments that I experienced during my first year as a father.

Well, that is what has been keeping me busy over the last couple of months and partly why there have been times when I have fallen behind on these daily posts. There are other books that I am currently working on but that is a completely different post for another day. In the meantime, if you happen to read any of these books I would appreciate hearing your thoughts and, hopefully, they proved to be worth the purchase price. Four down and countless volumes to go!

Editing And Emailing

A couple of weeks ago I was making the final round of edits to my new book when I decided to do a quick search of my previous titles to see if they were still available for sale. Given the fact that this new volume would incorporate basically all of the previously published works I was going to pull the printing of the previous collections…. Don’t want multiple versions in the marketplace at the same time. Well, that was my original intent but it wasn’t what I found.

As it turns out, the publisher for my previous collection had gone under in the decade since my chapbook was put into print. I guess you could say that this issue was resolved much faster than expected. However, when I dug a little deeper, I did find a couple of websites that had scanned the contents and basically made the book available for digital download. This is not something that I approved or appreciated so I did some research and found the people with whom I needed to speak from the websites.

For those of you who may run into this issue of copyright infringement, here is the DMCA Notice letter that I sent:

To Whom It May Concern, 

My name is Sean and I am the author of Kaddish Diary. Your website, SAMPLE.net is infringing on at least one copyright owned by me.

A book was copied onto your servers without permission. The original book and poems, to which I own the exclusive copyrights, can be found at:

http://www.isbnsearch.org/isbn/1589983637

The unauthorized and infringing copy can be found at:

http://SAMPLE.net/kaddish-diary

This letter is official notification under Section 512(c) of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (”DMCA”), and I seek the removal of the aforementioned infringing material from your servers and website. I request that you immediately notify the infringer of this notice and inform them of their duty to remove the infringing material immediately, and notify them to cease any further posting of infringing material to your server in the future.

Please also be advised that law requires you, as a service provider, to remove or disable access to the infringing materials upon receiving this notice. Under US law a service provider, such as yourself, enjoys immunity from a copyright lawsuit provided that you act with deliberate speed to investigate and rectify ongoing copyright infringement. If service providers do not investigate and remove or disable the infringing material this immunity is lost. Therefore, in order for you to remain immune from a copyright infringement action you will need to investigate and ultimately remove or otherwise disable the infringing material from your servers with all due speed should the direct infringer, your client, not comply immediately.

I am providing this notice in good faith and with the reasonable belief that rights I own are being infringed. Under penalty of perjury I certify that the information contained in the notification is both true and accurate, and I have the authority to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright(s) involved.

Should you wish to discuss this with me please contact me directly.

Regards,

Sean

Unfortunately, after sending off this request and continuing the search for some of the other books in which my work has been included, I found that Charles Fishman’s anthology, Blood to Remember: American Poets on the Holocaust, was also out of print due to the publisher discontinuing operations at the end of last year. I guess I chose the right time to work on the manuscripts that have been sitting on my computer for the last ten years. Stay tuned for details about this and other books that I am releasing to the masses this year!

No, Really, This Is Something Completely Different…

Last year the notices that I put together for the lodge were pretty light. There wasn’t much information that needed to be relayed each month and there were even times when I had to find content to fill some of the empty space left after all updates were included. This month that was definitely not the case and given what is on the horizon, I don’t expect to have any ‘light’ notices this year.

In addition to two petitioners being listed (the first in quite some time), the passing of a brother, and the full calendar of events to begin the year there was also a portion of the notice dedicated to the raising of our dues. This is a democracy and everyone has a vote so everyone needs to be informed before the meeting. This was all before I put in the Worshipful Master’s brief message and I wrote my rather long letter to the brethren.

It took some work to make everything fit together but, in the end, the notice was completed and put in the mail last night along with a few dues cards for some brothers who sent in late checks. But while I write this and thing about all that has to be done and the event that have happened and that will be happening at the lodge, I am also reflecting on the day itself. Today is one of reflection for a couple of reasons for me.

Today is actually International Holocaust Remembrance Day. Honestly, it had slipped my mind until I looked at the calendar this morning. However, I think I knew that this was the day as I am finally returning to the work that I created years ago. It is something that I dread reading but also take pride in its completion. Similar feelings that simmer in me on this day. Today is one when we not only remember in sorrow the lives lost but we also should rejoice in the simple fact that we survived. And while the world is far from perfect, we are a part of it and we are thriving in today’s society as a people.

And that joy is only matched by the fact that I am able to look back in my own life and celebrate that singular moment of surprise when I proposed to my wife on this day in 2007. While the store may no longer be there, the images and memories that we have will always remain vivid and the evening, having picked up my grandmother from the house and taken her to dinner to celebrate, is a great moment that makes me smile every time… especially when I recall telling my grandmother that she wasn’t allowed to kick until after the wedding (which was two and a half years from that day). Her smile in response is just one of many smiles that I will always remember.

Binding The Blog(s)

A couple of weeks ago I received an interesting email through my blog account (see the “Contact Me” tab on the right for my email address). As I read through the contents I did so with some trepidation as to the validity of what was being offered. I have gotten countless emails before making similar claims but there was always a catch when I would ask for a few more details. This time was different.

As it turns out, there is a small publishing company in Germany that specializes in publishing books by Israeli and Diaspora writers about Jewish life. They had come across my old blog, From Goy To Oleh, and had also read a few posts on this current blog as well. I guess they liked what they read because I was being offered a publishing deal. It is great to have this feeling again since it has been over a decade since my last book was published (the poetry publisher has since ceased operation) and I have been wanting to pursue this endeavor once again in the coming year (this seems to be a goal made annually).

Now I once again have the opportunity to pursue another one of my passions which has been dormant for so many years. And while there are other volumes that I hope to put into print through other publishers over the next few years, this is definitely a great start and the perfect way to get back into the world that I have been absent from lately. This book will comprise of my various posts about our Israel journey, our return, and other aspects of Jewish life that I have written about on occasion. It will be interesting going through all of these posts again and compiling them into a single volume.

This is the first book in my return to publishing. As I pull these posts together I will also be revisiting my master’s thesis, my full length collection of Holocaust poetry, and seeing who might be interested in turning this work into a bound collection. After that I will see if I have produced enough content to publish some family history… I am not sure that there is enough written at the moment but, maybe, by the time this first project reaches completion there may be sufficient content. Beyond these projects, it would be nice to finally flesh out some of the outlines for novels that I have stored on my computer as well as the children’s book that is still in need of illustrations.

But, for now, it is one step at a time. While I have no idea where I am going to find the hours to get this done while working and continuing my other writing projects, I am certain that I can get this done. In the meantime, I would be happy to start a list of those of you that may be interested in purchasing the book when it does come out. Obviously, I am not taking any money at this point but this would allow me to update you as to when it will be published as well as the final price. On all accounts, I will definitely keep you all posted.

Out Of Academia

I will get back to this at some point!

Over the past several weeks I have noticed that many of my friends are leaving academia. It seems to be a nearly daily occurrence on my Facebook feed to see someone leave an academic or research institution for positions in finance, sales, and other, completely unrelated, fields. Having been in that same situation myself, I know both the pros and cons of that field and while there are many great benefits derived from leaving academia there are also a number of things that I miss on a regular basis namely the time and freedom to think, debate, and explore.

While I have enjoyed my career beyond the studious walls, there are times when I think about the work that I was able to do and the pieces I was able to publish. Those are the times when I miss the long days, late nights, and piles of rejection letters. It is a life that is fueled by the occasional kind note, acceptance letter, and rare inclusions in literary journals. And, at least for me on the literary side of things, it is a way of life that is disappearing and is rarely provides a means of financial support. This is the primary reason that I have heard from those leaving academia and it was my reason as well.

Many of us who have departed continue to find small ways to remain active in this unique world. When I first left I continued writing and submitting to publications keeping the daily routine of rejection sprinkled with acceptances. Since those early days on the outside, I did stray from writing and research for a little while but, since then, I have slowly come back to those relaxing and stressful habits.

The industry in which I now work does provide a little bit of the same feeling that I would get in academia. I still write for clients and seek inclusion in a variety of publications… a completely different set of publications but the process is quite similar. However, it has been the personal projects that have brought me back to those productive days namely researching my family and keeping this daily blog.

Even though the results are completely different from what I used to produce (and definitely less polished), I am back in the process and have a daily routine that combines my previous life with my current one. With that said, discovering where I come from, exploring who I am, and sharing both my discoveries and opinions is proving to be just as fulfilling as the work that I once produced. Maybe someday I can even go back to publishing but, for now, I will simply enjoy the process.

50K And 67

There have been many milestones since I started this blog. Many of them I had preconceived notions from the very beginning as to when they would occur. I was completely wrong regarding this latest one as I originally thought that it would happen sometime during the fourth year of writing. This was later revised to a timeline slightly more optimistic than reality but it really was slight. Basically it breaks down to the originally projection of about one thousand views per month later revised to over two thousand.

Well, just over two years since the first words were posted, I hit the 50,000 views mark. While a big number (at least for me) when you first look at it, it is even bigger when you think about it. This blog has been viewed 50,000 times which breaks down to roughly 67 views per day. Obviously some posts have been more popular than others and some days have been more active than the rest. That is the ebb and flow of writing in general and blogging in particular.

Think about that for a second. On average, there were 67 clicks specifically with the intention of reading the content that I have posted. Given the lack of interesting content that has been produced overall, this just goes to show that really anyone can do this. With that said, I appreciate each person and each click that has been made since this blog was launched. It was never my intent to gain a large readership but it is certainly nice to see people enjoying what I am writing (or getting pissed off by it).

The sheer volume is still completely foreign to me. I have written for a variety of companies and executives over the years where these numbers are pretty insignificant but having something with my name on it being read to such an extent is kind of astounding. Of course, this is coming from someone who started off in the poetry market where exposure and popularity are tremendously small in comparison to other genres. Having this many people read my work now would have been unthinkable in those days a decade ago.

The trick now is trying to find the balance between past and present, quality and quantity, honest and opinion, originality and reporting. It is a completely different way of writing these days and something that I am still getting used to. I treat this as a journal but have to maintain some kind of coherence in the posts. It is a balance of writing and of time. It is work and play.

So, thank you again for all your support but don’t just sit back and read. I encourage you to do the same, write about what you want to record about your life. Put yourself out there. Enjoy the process and the sharing of ideas. And, of course, let me know if there is anything that you would like me to write about and I will do my best to accommodate.

Social Hobbies

Growing up I went through a lot of hobbies and, in hind sight, wasted a lot of money. They were the usual stable of collections from baseball cards to comic to coins. As I got older those hobbies shifted slightly with the collection of signed books, movies, music, and various autographs. For the most part, they were all singular in nature allowing me to escape with my collections. While there were the occasional social aspects to each of those hobbies, they were more of a solitary process of sorting, cataloging, and researching.

Books may have been the start to the socialization of my hobbies as many of them I got signed while doing readings and interacting with other authors through phone, email, and in person conversations. Surprisingly, I was seen as an equal with many publications beginning to publish my own work. In fact, I was also becoming an enabler of their book obsessions as well as I would happily sell (or trade) and sign my books. The writing process still held that solitary safety for me but everything beyond that initial creation was completely social.

Event now, the writing process is one that I do at my computer without the distractions of the day (or, more commonly, night). It is a process that I continue to struggle with but one that immediately becomes social as the blogs are posted and the interactions (mostly on LinkedIn) begin. While these pieces differ greatly from my initial introduction into writing and publishing, the process remains the same. Writing has also brought my other hobbies into the public realm of discussion.

I find my family history fascinating and the research process is engrossing to say the least. Recording and sharing some of my findings and recreating many of the stories has become an important part of genealogy for me as it has become a means to share (and sometime correct) the various aspects of our eclectic family. Not only has the dialogue within my family been an amazing way to find additional details, sharing on this blog and through social media has opened up avenues of discussion that I wouldn’t have otherwise enjoyed. Even the messages on Ancestry.com have been great ways to socialize and learn more.

Writing has also made my firearms hobby one that is increasingly social as I am frequently asked by friends and brothers for reviews, recommendations, and general feedback on certain companies, makes, models, calibers, etc. For those of you unfamiliar with shooting sports, this is an endless list of possibilities. While I can’t say that I know a lot, I know a little bit and offer my opinions accordingly. Heck, I may even spend a few more minutes on those reviews/recommendations and post them to the blog. However, beyond the writing, range time, and frequent discussions, this is still a solitary sport that required focus and attention to detail at the firing line.

So, I guess to you could say that my hobbies have evolved from being primarily of a solitary nature to ones that are mostly social. And the same thing can be said about my personality. I was not an outgoing or social child growing up but, over time, I have come to enjoy a good crowd, great conversations with people I just met, and generally being out and about. Plus, the more social I got the more opinionated I have become and that has made this whole writing thing much more satisfying and fun.

One Year, One Blog

Just over a year ago I made the decision to start this blog. It took me a few days to determine what I wanted to write about, what rules I was going to set for myself, and how often I was going to post. Well, as you know, I decided to post every day and I have done so for a complete year now. That’s right, this post is number 365. It has been a busy year with a lot of changes and a lot to write about. I don't know how sane this daily endeavor has been but, at the very least, I had to set this goal to prove to myself that I still had some kernel of creativity left in me.

It has been tough at times to motivate myself and there have been times when I have given up free time and sleep but it was all worth it given the cathartic nature of the things that I have posted. Even the things that may seem like records of what happened the previous day, there was a certain element of venting, processing, or thinking that allowed me to end the day, deposit the experience into memory, and focus on what was in front of me instead of what is behind. It has also been a way to focus on something positive, or just something else, than some of the things that were happening around me or things that I may have been dealing with beyond the words on the screen.

This has been a fun little experiment and one that I have enjoyed sharing with all of you but now the question is… what is going to happen with the blog now? Well, while this anniversary was originally set as a goal it has evolved more into a milestone. This blog is not going to be coming to an end any time soon. However, I will be making a small change that should make a big difference for me moving forward. While I will still be posting my daily thoughts and experiences, I am lifting the minimum word count.

You all know that I can be very long winded with my posts and I think it is time to put an end to that vicious circle. This doesn’t mean that I won’t have my long posts now any again but now, when the thought is complete, I can stop at a more natural point rather than having to continue to meet that 400 word minimum. This may even open the blog up to other forms of writing and observation so that I can write about interesting or funny conversations or I can post a poem or two that I may be working on. Essentially, by lifting the minimum, I am maximizing the possibilities of both content and form.

So, here is to another 365 posts, another 19,000+ views (a little short of my goal but I'll take it), and another year of recording life, thoughts, opinions, and places. Any other suggestions you might have as to content, form, frequency, etc. that you have please feel free to share below. I look forward to entertaining you for another year and, more importantly, I look forward to recording life.

Random Phone Notes

I was going through my phone in an attempt to free up some space and generally delete a bunch of things that were just taking up the screen. You know, the apps that you come across every once in a while and say “why the heck do I have this on my phone?” Well, as I dug a little deeper into many of the forgotten files more and more space became available in my memory.

One of the areas that I keep overlooking is the random notes and ideas that I type into the yellow screen in the hope to not forget the thoughts. Unfortunately, I frequently forget that I recorded the ideas. It is only when I go into the application to make another note when I remember the other content that is just sitting there. Thankfully, the practice of recording my notes in my phone isn’t incredibly common.

On Friday, I had a thought and opened my notes. After recording the random clicker of quasi creative thought, I scrolled through the other notes that were sitting there. Some of the sentences were interesting and could, possibly, be fleshed out to be a somewhat interesting piece. Others, not so much (that collection of completely inconsequential randomness was quickly trashed). But, I will let you be the judge so here is what I found when I read through the forgotten lines…

11/21/11 – The road laced the nightmares of parents in the small Philadelphia suburb when their children turned 16. Every year, a new cross, a new mound of flowers, a new collage of mournful notes lay exposed to the elements. The curve itself wasn't sharp - there was nothing treacherous about its degree. It was the suddenness of the bend that robbed one of control. It was to the relief of everyone in the town when the township decided to close the road. No more nightmares. No more haunting images and nights filled with pacing. No more worrying that they wouldn't see their children graduate. No more ghosts. Years passed and the old road slowly slipped back into the winding creek beside it. However, the curve remained seemingly untouched by time. Last summer, enough time had passed and the stigma had faded to the point that a developer purchased the land at what he thought was a steal. He was looking forward to the profits the thought were sure to follow.

7/4/13 – I hear the sounds of fireworks in the distance without a splash of color to be seen. Instead I watch the fireflies pulse in the darkness to the staccato of liberty.

7/8/13 – Motors whining, suspensions creaking, gears popping, and tired what seem to be tearing and ripping at the road. Where are they going at 2am?

11/12/13 – Along the back left wall the lamp lit the desk with a light that seemed to syphon the warmth and energy from the other three corners of the room.

2/28/14 – Bobby expected things to happen for him. He believe that luck was on his side he just needed that one moment to turn things around. It was this sense of entitled hope and opportunity that kept him searching for a genie in the bottom of a bottle.

So, now that you have read through the random thoughts that have passed through my fingers over the past 2+ years, what would you like to read more about? What would you like me to attempt to develop into some sort of creative draft? Let me know what you would like to read and I will make an attempt to expand the thought into something that resembles a story, poem, article, etc. I have no idea what will come out of the exercise but I will give it a shot.

Full Circle

As you may recall from my resolution post at the very beginning of the year one of the many things that I wanted to focus on this year was to get back to my creative writing roots. The overall goal was to resume writing poetry and stories, pursue publishing them, and doing the occasional reading. While my time is still very limited leaving me little time to pursue these efforts I have been presented an opportunity this week that should get me back on the right path in this endeavor.

For those of you who don’t know, I was rather active in the Philadelphia and Boston area poetry scenes about a decade ago. Since then, time and other objectives seemed to have stymied that creative outlet and it has been a struggle trying to return to that eclectic world ever since. This week proved that sometimes things come full circle when we are least expecting them.

On my LinkedIn profile I have a sample of one of my more popular poems which has been published multiple times in various literary journals, an anthology, and a part of my own small collection (i.e. chap book). Many of the people I have connected to through LinkedIn are from those days in the poetry scene and every once in a while I get the occasional correspondence usually just checking in and seeing if I am still writing. However, this latest message was very specific in its purpose… I have been asked to write an article about Janusz Korczak.

The goal is to complete the 3,000 – 4,000 article by the end of next month with publication scheduled for April. While I have some knowledge still remaining in my mind on the subject and about Korczak’s life, I am going to have to do some extensive mining to recover those raw ore that will power the story. Nearly ten years is a long time between writing projects on a specific subject especially when I am going to have to rediscover my academic writing side.

It will be a challenge and one that I am heading into with some trepidation but I am looking forward to reading the end result. It will not be a scholarly piece but it will serve as an introduction to an astounding life. It will be a means to make history more accessible which was the original goal of my poetry in the first place. This is precisely the reason why I said that this project is going to bring me full circle.

So, what was the poem that sparked this project and inspired a local literary editor to contact me? I could just direct you to my LinkedIn profile but I’m not going to do that. I have included the poem below. I hope that it sparks the same kind of curiosity in you that it has in others.

A Pure Breath

“What matters is that all this did happen.” – Janusz Korczak

The boy pushed away sleep and,
blinking his silent eyes in the candlelight,
he listened to Korczak’s voice.

Echoing above the soldier’s
ash-muffled steps, the only
sound in the camp was
the doctor’s paper cracking
like a stiff flag in a sharp
breeze as he chiseled lead
onto what once was white.

Despite his arthritic fingers,
he had written hundreds of
pages in the ghetto;
but these were the first
curled letters of his Kaddish.
This was his last leaf of script;
the last journal entry which
would never leave his hand.

This was his voice that would rain
down with his body and
rest in the lungs of Treblinka.

 

 

 

 

Did You Stop Today?

Janusz Korczak Memorial at Yad Vashem (Jerusalem, 2009).

Today marked the International Holocaust Remembrance Day. This day, determined by the United Nations in 2005 (yes, it took that long), is one of the many days throughout the year when we, Jews and non-Jews alike, should step back, take stock, and embrace all that we have in life. Heck, just enjoy the fact that we have a life that we are living. Even when we have gone through tough times whether financially or physically, I have always made a point to stop. That is the first thing that we all need to do on this day.

We need to take notice of how the Israelis recognize the souls lost during that black hole in our history when they stop (even in the middle of the highway), stand, and remain quiet as the sirens pierce the morning across Israel on their Holocaust Memorial Day (which falls in April/May). It is this act of stopping, of inaction, that accentuates the need for action. Action not just of our minds to remember but in our bodies to act against the evil in this world. We must ensure that the environment is never again fostered to allow something such as this to happen again.

I am not going to proceed by outlining what I believe is right or wrong. You should know that for yourself. You need to stop and look around. Get involved in your community. Get to know your neighbor and know what is happening in the news, in the government, in the schools. Know your rights and be aware of all the actions and inaction that surrounds you. Knowledge is what we need to have to ensure this never happens again not just memory.

Maybe the most important aspect of ensuring that the vicious cycle of history is not continued is to stop and think. Think for yourself rather than letting someone tell you what is true, what is right, what is wrong. If you stop and pay attention to the world you will see that there are many things happening that worrying in this world. Again, I am not going to tell you what to look for, you can probably surmise my views by simply going through previous posts.

However, I think there is one constant that should be embraced… Freedom. Are you living a life that embraces the freedoms that you have and is concerned over the freedoms that have been taken away? Is the ‘interpretation’ of freedom crippling your ability to be free? These are the basic questions that you should ask yourself and what you should do everything in your power to ensure that your freedom is not lost. So stop, think, appreciate what you have, and ensure that you are truly free.

Resurrecting Holocaust Poetry

As I mentioned in my goals for the second half of 2013 one of the things that I am in the process of doing is getting back to the, sometimes daunting, task of submitting poetry to magazines for publication. It has been approximately eight years since I last published a chap book of original work and subsequent pieces have been languishing in my computer since that time. Individual poems, sequences, chap books, and collections are just sitting there waiting for me to do something with them. This is a task that I frequently revisit as many of you may remember the last time I wrote about this on my previous blog, From Goy to Oleh, in April 2011.

While I do have poems spanning a wide range of topics and experiences, most of the more well received poems that I have written are my own recreations of the lives of three victims of the Holocaust: Hertha Feiner, Janusz Korczak, and Filip Müller. The poems are fictionalized historical accounts of what might have happened in the world immediately surrounding these people.

The general thought behind them is that every memoir has something missing. Sometimes it’s a forgotten foreshadowing phrase said in passing or simply what is happening outside when their focus is on the room in which they are sitting. These are the aspects painted in this collection. It is my hope that these poems are not only stirring but accurate as well and I have, so far, been fortunate enough to verify that very fact with those who were there.

Many people have asked me why I started writing Holocaust poetry. I really don’t have an answer to that question but I can tell you how it happened…

During the winter of 2004, I began writing about the Holocaust because I needed an outlet for my own pain and fear. It was not a conscious decision to write about Janusz Korczak, it just happened. I began relating to Korczak and his children on the most basic level: I was discontent, I couldn’t eat, and I was in pain. It was a time in my life when writing was work.

I was struck not only with what Korczak recorded in his diary but also by the thoughts of what was not written in those pages. This feeling was intensified further when I would come across passages that were of longing, passages that recalled of a different time in Korczak’s life, a time without worry. I understood the feeling of wanting to escape but my thoughts were firmly planted in the Warsaw orphanage in which Korczak was writing amongst sleeping children.

It was the contrariness between thought and reality that forced me to scribe ink on the page. When Korczak wrote, “I used to write at stops, in a meadow under a pine tree, sitting on a stump. Everything seemed important and if I did not note it down I would forget. An irretrievable loss to humanity,” I couldn’t stop thinking about what the children were experiencing at that time, at that exact moment. Were they awake or asleep, were they hungry, were they scared, were they healthy or sick? What was happening outside the window, what sounds did they hear, what smells slipped through the cracks?

That is how these poems started and resulted in some of them being published in Midstream Magazine, The Endicott Review, The Hypertexts, Charles Fishman’s anthology Blood to Remember: American Poets on the Holocaust, and my own chapbook (the Janusz Korczak section), Kaddish Diary (Pudding House Publications, 2005). The need to know more can be a powerful motivation.

I continued writing Holocaust poetry for the next few years after that completing three small series. However, the resulting nightmares and emotional exhaustion increasingly gotten worse resulting in my taking a break from writing about the subject.

Maybe it is finally time to resurrect these Holocaust poems and start working on reinforcing memory. Maybe I will finally be able to do so. Maybe enough time has passed.

If need be, I will spread them out and in between those sketches from my own life that I have filed away. I might even use some of the images from this blog to provoke the concise language I have since lost. Hopefully, results will come with this renewed focus and I can finally fulfill the goal I set many years ago… to publish a complete collection.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start by pulling them from cyber storage, re-familiarizing myself with my former voice, and getting them into circulation. We will see what happens.  

New (Half) Year’s Resolutions

I WANT THIS PIN!

I can’t believe that we are half way through the year already. Many changes have occurred (some good, some bad) but the fact that I can’t seem to grasp the hours of each day still frustrates me. Every day there is something that gets carried over to the next making my “to do” list more of a living compilation of tasks rather than something I can simply check off and throw away.

Some people set goals in the beginning of the year but I like to be a little different and put greater emphasis on the second half of the year. Of course, there are a few certain things that are achieved in the first six months but, in the end, it’s all about how you finish the game not about how it begins. Therefore, it is now time to outline my list of goals, in no particular order, for the second half of the year.   

1.      Improve my health – isn’t this something that is, in one shape or form, on everyone’s list? For me, it really comes down to two very simple things, stop smoking and lose about 60 pounds (I have struggled with both over the years). There is an entire subset of things I could list in order to accomplish this but, again, those are the common things that everyone jots down. What is different than most is that I have to make sure to schedule regular checkups with my doctors just to keep an open line of communication and make sure I am doing things the right way.
2.      Write a blog every day – I made it through last month with only a few delays. I still got a blog out every day in June but some of them were barely under the wire. I have a blog schedule which, so far, would take me to the end of October but that is the easy part… the “hard” part is taking the time every day to write and post. To this point, I have accomplished a staggering amount of growth in a single month and I greatly appreciate the support. Thank you all for reading, commenting, liking, sharing, etc.
3.      Find a place to live – Such a basic thing to have on a list at first glance. However, there is a greater underlying factor to this which is why I have chosen to list it. We have an apartment which has served us well and we live in an area that is very familiar but we are both looking for home. We have been looking for this for a long time now and in many locations and while we have been comfortable and thought we had found it a few times it just didn’t hold up against the clock and calendar. Hopefully, we find home this year.
4.      Find a new job – Minor detail. As was posted previously, I have been seeking a new position for some time now. While it has been difficult at times I am still confident that not just a job but a career is waiting for me because it just takes one to make it happen. As the great SNL philosopher Stuart Smalley (not to be confused with the pull your hair out quote from Senator Franken) said, "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."
5.      Full year of Rotary – As was posted last week I am now the President Elect for the Rotary Club of Bala Cynywd – Narberth and there are certain things that I would like to accomplish in the coming year. I am not going to go over the whole list again in this post but, suffice to say, there are many things that I need to work on to truly make my first full year as a Rotarian a success in my eyes.  
6.      Full year as a Mason – I have only been a member of the fraternity since April and I have already gotten a tremendous amount out of Freemasonry. There are a number of personal things that I would like to achieve in this first full year and many goals that I have set for myself in this category including, just to name a few, completion of the Master Builder Award and Lodge of Research requirements as well as becoming a member of Scottish Rite. It’s going to be a busy Masonic year.
7.      Sons of American Revolution Application – This project has been put aside since the fall and it is time to “git-r-done”. Given the time of year it is especially poignant to get this done soon. I am proud of my family heritage and for me this is a great way to show it. I will be sure to write more about this process and my family’s Revolutionary past in a future post so stay tuned.  
8.      Publishing and Readings (one is already booked for November 16^th in Collegeville, Pennsylvania) – If I remember correctly, it has been almost eight years since I last actively sought publication of my work. It is a very trying and tiring process that I am not particularly fond of but it’s an addiction that never leaves you so I guess it’s time to do some lines and chase the dragon once again. So, keep in mind that I may be creatively and poetically medicated moving forward. The long layoff from giving readings coincided with my vacation from publishing. If I am going to publish I have to read as well. I always enjoyed the performance side of writing because that is where you find out if a poem or story works. You feed off of the reaction, good or bad, which helps you to improve and pushes you to challenge yourself and your audience. Words on the page are just ink and paper, the experience defines the creation.  
9.     Continue to explore my faith – Many changes have occurred in the past couple of months with regard to our observance but our faith has remained steadfast. The means by which we express and embrace our faith has evolved over time to something that suits us both as individuals and as a family rather than subscribing to the black and white outline of a particular branch of Judaism. While it is not for everyone it is how we connect with G-d and I look forward to exploring our faith and deepening that connection through His words and his creation.
10. Travel - I am looking forward to continuing our weekly excursions both as a way to spend time with my wife and also to explore the beauty of creation that surrounds us. We have weekly day trips planned out to last the summer and into fall but, like anything else, it is flexible and I am sure it is going to change. This is also a means to feed content to this blog and share with you some of the wonderful places that surround me in my own Commonwealth. I hope that it will encourage some of you to do the same and explore and appreciate the places that are near to you but you never took the time to visit (this is especially important for those of you who may have children).

That is my list. It may change, in fact I am certain it will, but this is a starting point in recommitting to the process of improving myself throughout this year. This is the foundation of change and the map which I can fall back on to keep myself moving forward (ING is of no use with the above goals). What are the things that you would like to work on or accomplish in the second half of 2013?