Great Conversations And Unwanted “Advice”

Ever since we announced that we were having a baby there have been dozens and dozens of family and friends offering us advice based on their experience. I am a firm proponent of gathering as much information as possible from as many people as possible especially from those who are parents. We have already had a variety of great conversations and have received a tremendous amount of excellent advice since the announcement and we are constantly receiving little bits of wisdom every now and again. It is amazing how much love and support that we have received and we are grateful for those people in our life. Yesterday was one of those days when we felt that warmth as family continuously approached us, offered their congratulations, and chatted briefly about how my wife is holding up. But it was not our day and we all wanted to enjoy the party, the real reason why we were all together.

Of course, over the past couple of weeks, there have also been a few people that keep popping up and offering lectures of what we should be doing and what we are currently doing wrong. They have also offered their pessimistic views on what they “hope doesn’t happen” while mixing in monologues about how we can avoid unrelated problems that they know absolutely nothing about. This is usually followed by “offers” to gain some additional practice in the coming months because we have obviously never been around infants and know nothing about some of the unpleasant aspects which they proceed to outline in great detail.

These people have a commonality, they are the center of the world. It is not a dialogue, it is a matter of they know what is best and we need to do it that way or we are wrong. This characteristic also encompasses a few people that are not excited about the good news because that means that we are not able to give them as much of our attention anymore. Did I mention that these people are over five years old? Keep in mind that we prefer to have the quick conversations and move on to another topic. There are too many great things happening to many fantastic people in our life to focus on ourselves or any other single person.

This is a very special time in our life and we want to embrace all the positive energy, unique experiences, and great people in our life. While, for various reasons, we can’t get rid of all the negative people and energy, we will do our best to minimize them and focus on the love and support. At the same time, we are going to continue living life and celebrating the amazing events and milestones of our friends and family. Of course, we won’t turn down great advice now and again!

Yesterday Was A Bit Of A Mixed Bag

Doesn't look like much but this was after only 15 minutes
under a leak that had been 'fixed'.

Yesterday, I had to share the good news because the rest of the day was nothing short of a huge mess. Having taken a work from home day, I expected some progress to be made with regard to the leak in our apartment. Following a ‘discussion’ with management (yes, I actually was able to speak with the woman who was, until that point, merely theoretical), a plumber was called in lieu of maintenance who had called out for the day (no sure if it was because of a legitimate reason or just BS). Nothing was found but by the time that the night had overtaken the light, the problem remained.

Of course, we can’t just have one issue at a time as lodge duties beckoned in the evening and parking problems persisted (no progress on the electrical or parking lot issues at all as a poorly conceived plan has halted progress for at least two days). With the lodge items prioritized and the parking/electrical completely out of control, it was time to sit down during the relatively quiet evening and write another letter to management. So, once again, I share with you my correspondence which pretty much summarizes the entirety of the dripping experience.

Dear Building Manager,

I am writing to make you aware of the ongoing situation. While the plumber today did not find anything and the drip seemed to be slowing this afternoon, it has returned during the nighttime hours. This seems to be the ongoing pattern; slow in the middle of the day and constant at night. This is the pattern that has been in place since we reported the leak nearly a week ago (Wednesday, July 16^th).

To better visualize the problem I placed a piece of construction paper on the Tupperware container positioned under the drip at 9:00 pm and now, at 9:15 pm, you can see clearly in the picture (included with this letter) that this is not just an occasional small drip. The construction paper will be left in place so that the next time the issue is addressed it can be seen in person.

I would appreciate an update as soon as one can be ascertained. Preferably something different than ‘we have to let it dry’ which we have been told time and again since this issue was first reported. Obviously, we are well past the ‘couple of day’ drying time at this point.

As always, if you have any questions please feel free to call or email using the information above.

Regards,

Sean

So now, in the middle of the following day, I have approximately no update to share. With nearly a dozen visits to our apartment there is still work to be done and, no surprise, my patience is wearing out. While I will keep pushing these people to get things done this will be the last post of this kind as I have many other things that I want and need to put my energy into and record for the future. Don’t get me wrong, I may still approach the subject in a future post but not like I have been this past week. Time to step back and think about the good things, the future, and the many ways that life has changed. I will be returning to the positive I just can’t guarantee when or for how long but it will happen as there are too many thing going on that just deserve a good gripe.

Crafting Perspective

Everyone can look back at different points or events in their life and say what if. We all have the lingering regrets that surface if we dedicate too much thought to the past. I don’t care who you are, you know that you have had moments when those thoughts would run through your mind wondering if things would have gone differently if you had made a different decision. While most days these thoughts are nowhere to be found, I have the occasional day when the memories linger like a heavy fog on a cool humid morning.

Regrets, in the right amount, are a healthy part of life. It is the time when the analytical and creative minds meet at a common point and time in your past and try to figure out the scenarios that could have played out. It is actually a fascinating process if you remove yourself from the decision… basically, by taking an objective view of the situation you are able to enjoy the projections and story lines that can be created. It’s like a chose your own adventure book (remember those?) but with a vividness and reality that is seldom achieved through the words on a page.

Of course, in order to do this you have to come to terms with your past decisions. Sure there are moments that you may not be proud of or that may piss you off. Some things were completely in your control and others you had now control over the situation… regardless of the situation you have to leave it in the past. Besides, the clichéd little chestnut is true, all of those events and moments in your past have made you who you are today. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am pretty darn happy with who I am and where I am at this point in my life. There are some things that I wish were a little different but nothing that I would really change.

If you are able to keep things in perspective the creative logic that is applied to your own past can provide you with pages of content and hours of entertainment. I have created many stories and scenes by leveraging my own past and tweaking it to create an alternative timeline to fit the needs of the character and story. As a bonus, once you put a different name in the situation and build an entirely different story arch it, for the most part, removes that trajectory from your own mind and therefore eliminates a avenue of regret.

It may seem odd but it works. This is what makes the creative process so personal at times and why many of us invest so much in the stories that we tell. It is a part of us, a part of our past, a part of our reality… it allows the possibilities of the past contribute to who we are today in a positive and productive way. In the end, embrace the past, good and bad, as well as the realities that did happen and possibilities that never materialized. All of these things are what feed your mind it is up to you weather that is a good thing or bad thing.