Too Many Departures

While nothing has been as difficult as the loss that we experienced early last year, there have been moments since then that have forced me to stop for a minute and think about the people that have been a part of my life, large and small, over the years. I found myself going through this process once again when I received an email about the passing of a fellow Rotarian’s wife. Oddly enough, I had just seen him last week and, by the end of the meeting, wondered why I hadn’t asked how his family was doing as I normally would have. I guess even these seemingly inconsequential lapses happen for a reason.

I recall meeting his wife a couple of times in the past at Rotary functions and I recall having some very interesting discussions with her on a variety of subject. It was safe to say that there were a number of topics that we didn’t agree on but I remember having a pleasant conversation during which it was abundantly clear that I was discussing these subjects with a highly intelligent and informed woman. I guess you could say that she and her husband were very similar in that regard.

This loss is only one of many that has happened over the past year or so from those that I remember fondly seeing nearly every day in high school as was the case with the passing of my homeroom teacher and other times there are people that I had either met only a few times or that I had only corresponded with through letters, emails, or over the phone. Each time I was brought back to those discussions and encounters leaving me wondering why I hadn’t picked up the phone or wrote them a letter lately. I guess it is normal to think about the conversations you never had rather than the ones you did.

Of course, then there are the family members who have passed before I had a chance to talk to them or even really got to know them. Admittedly, there is a little selfishness in this thought but it also speaks to the unexpected, and potential, impact of those who have passed. While this has unfortunately been happening for years, it is a regular occurrence even today. However, the same lesson applies here as well… I need to do a better job of keeping in touch and reaching out to friends and family members. After all, as has been proven time and again, you never know how long you really have.

Will This Debate Start Clearing The Field?

Well, it is safe to say that high school is back in session. Of course, we didn’t need to look at the calendar to figure it out, all you had to do was watch the first 45 minutes of the Republican Presidential Debate last night on CNN. Thanks largely to comments carelessly caste by the bombastic Donald Trump, the first part of the over saturated debate consisted primarily of name calling, quips, and generalized statements rather than substantive discussions which should have been the primary focus throughout the evening. Thankfully, once the back and forth between the candidates took on a serious tone, Trump faded into the background having little input on the points being made.

I continue to be dumbfounded by the polling numbers which have shown significant support for the former Apprentice host and after last night those figures are even more confusing. Fortunately, there were a number of people on the stage that treated the event the way it should be, as an exchange of ideas and challenging the ideas of others. And while there were many that neither helped nor hurt themselves last night, there were a couple of candidates that showed some real promise. Of course, we will have to wait and see if it has any impact on their respective polling numbers.

Honestly, I haven’t paid too much attention to Carly Fiorina during these early stages of the campaign season. However, her performance in the secondary debate last month and on the main stage last night demonstrate that she is a viable choice. I have actually been quite surprised by how quickly she has developed her political persona and impressed by her ability to educate herself on the various topics that will surely shape the political landscape over the next year. The only thing that she really lacks is political experience but that can also be a good thing. We will just have to wait and see how she handles the additional pressure as she gains more of the spotlight.

While not my preferred candidate and having previously been hesitant to back him, I have always been a supporter of Marco Rubio. He delivered succinct well informed responses to the questions put on the table displaying a broad but deep knowledge both of foreign and domestic policy. In addition to the intelligence he has shown, I agree with many of his positions and respect his combination of tact and straightforwardness. He has also been willing to forge his own political path at times but never too far from the main road. These are the things that make this Senator, at least in my mind, the front runner for the presidency regardless of what might be reflected in the polling numbers.

Sadly, Rand Paul’s performance last night didn’t help his campaign. While he got a couple of good lines in he didn’t clearly convey the knowledge, passion, or eloquence that many of us know that he possesses. Barring a tremendous comeback (see Reagan in 1984) there seems to be a marginal chance that he will make it to the stretch run. I still support his campaign but I am also a realist. Besides, maybe he can be more effective as a cabinet member and run again in the future.

The other candidates didn’t really stand out, at least for any good reason, to me with many of their words falling into the category of generality throughout the debate. However, at least there were the performances of note, Fiorina and Rubio, and hard hits, Trump, which will hopefully realign the field in the coming weeks and months. It would also be nice to have a smaller field moving forward as having a crowded field is not helping anyone.  

Graduation Party

Today was one that made me think about my own experiences and left me in a state of slight disbelief. We spent a good part of the afternoon at a family get together to celebrate the graduation of a cousin. Oddly enough, the timing worked out almost perfectly and we were all ready to go and out the door with more than enough time to make it down the highway to the party. Given that we left the same time our son usually eats, this was a surprise to both of us.

The party itself was great. Not only was it nice to celebrate this milestone in life but it was also an opportunity to see a lot of family members that we had not had a chance to speak with since the bris. Things have changed quite a bit since then and the change of pace was welcomed. And, I must say, these people sure know how to throw a party.

One of the things that I couldn’t help but think about was the fact that this year marks 15 years since I had the same kind of celebration. I just can’t believe that it has been that long even though there are many days when it seems like an entire lifetime has passed since I celebrated my graduation along with my siblings (each of them graduated from college the same year). When reflecting on this, there are so many family members that I am friendly with now that I wish I had known better then.

Of course, there are a lot of things that I wish was different about that time in my life. The changes in attitude, perspective, motivation, and experience are staggering when considering my life now compared to my personality immediately after high school. There is a reason why I ended up on the 5 year college program. Thankfully, the one whom we were celebrating today seem to have their head on right and has the motivation to succeed.

When asked to write something to the graduate today there was no way that I was going to say something similar to that above. There really isn’t a need for that. All I could say was to enjoy each day (individually and as a whole), work hard, and take advantage of all the opportunities and experiences that come your way during this time in your life. After all, you may not know exactly where they are going to take you but so long as you keep your head on straight, they will all provide you with a life that is full, vibrant, and makes you excited every day to get out of bed in the morning.

Kind of wish that I had heeded my own advice as a teenager but, in the end, it may have not been a perfect ride so far but I wouldn’t change any of it. Okay, maybe one or two or twelve things but all those experiences made me who I am now and I am pretty darn happy with that. Some of you may not be but I am feeling really good about the way things have turned out.

So, I leave you with this clichéd question to think about (and possibly respond below): Knowing what you do know, the experiences that you have had, and the mistakes that you made, what advice would you give to yourself when you graduated high school?  

Inevitable Appointments

For the first time since I can’t remember when, I think it has been about a year, I made time to see the doctor. Actually, I have been to two doctor’s appointments in the past week. I think that is enough at least for a little while. Don’t worry, it is nothing that is to be concerned about, they were just a couple of checkups. The first was with the regular doctor and the second was basically a double check.

Fortunately, I have the flexibility at work to set appointments that are otherwise not possible… this was an issue when I was working hourly and either didn’t have the time or I was just too darn tired during the normal waking hours to get myself to the office. But now, I have the time, and I am able to make sure I get to the checkups. Maybe I should make this a regular thing just to make sure that nothing does come up.

While I am not a fan of how the health insurance industry if forced to operate these days, it still works, and I really don’t know if such appointments would be possible without it. There have certainly been issues lately with coverage, specifically with getting my wife covered, but that has all been taken care of now. Things seem to be back to usual at the moment.

One thing that I have really come to appreciate in the last couple or few years is the importance of having a doctor that works for me. The office I go to is a very small husband and wife team that harkens back to the neighborhood doctor. Actually, my father grew up with him and he, after medical school, took over his father’s practice and bought the house in which he grew up. He can have a bit of an abrupt demeanor at times but it is always with a sense of looking out for what is best for me. On top of that, these days, with referrals a requirement, this office makes the process easy. It truly is the epitome of a family practice.

While these kinds of offices are slowly disappearing, the recent healthcare legislation seems to be speeding up their disappearance at a staggering rate. The family practice and the attention one receives from such offices, will soon be nothing more than a memory. But until that day comes, even with his shortcomings, I will continue to see my family doctor and do my best to listen to what he says. I’ll at least try.

From Simple Technology To Simplifying Technology

You know you miss it!

It’s amazing when you think about how much technology is woven in and throughout our lives. It’s one of those things, like gaining weight, that gradually takes hold of you a little at a time. Before you know it you are constantly checking your email at all times of day and night and you see people getting jittery when they don’t have access to their phones or, what’s worse, when they can see that their battery is getting dangerously low and they are crawling around the waiting room desperately searching for an outlet. You know you have seen those people. Heck, I am sure we have all done it at one time or another especially on long trips.

Personally, it’s interesting looking back to the typing classes in elementary school when we all did our best to get the work done as quickly as possible so we could play Oregon Trail on the green Apple screen. Or the time when I created my first email account, AOL of course, when I was in high school… “You’ve got mail” was something to look forward to in those days before the extreme inundation of spam that we sort through today. There are times when I miss that ear piecing screech before being able to retrieve my messages but those moments are usually very brief and only wash over me when my mental servers begin overheating.

Look back at how far we have come… do you think you could wait through the multiple dials before your modem would connect?

I think back sometimes when I spend the entire day, like today, writing press releases, blog posts, pitches, and emails all revolving around technology. That is what I do for a living and I am pretty good at my job. Of course, I am more about talking to people about the technology. Thankfully, my late blooming technology background, has served me well in that I am able to translate many of the complex topics and innovations that I am surrounded with every day.

Now, it has gotten to the point that I have people seeking me out to apply my abilities. In fact, this summer I will be delving into a new project that the Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania is working on. Actually, it is more of an upgrade or overhaul rather than something completely new. Either way, I am going to be exploring the initial aspects of this program and looking for ways to easily navigate through and explain the details. This is what my brothers will be relying on me for when everything is rolled out.

So, it should be an interesting summer project but one that I am looking forward to as it is a great way to combine what I do for a living with my masonic life, much like utilizing my writing and PR background as Secretary. It makes it a lot easier and allows me to have a greater impact when I can apply my craft to the craft. Of course, there are also times when I want some separation like when you had to wait for the internet to load dividing the real and virtual world. In the end though I wouldn’t change a thing as I enjoy the constant connectivity. Besides, when we really need it, there is an off button for everything.  

A Lion In The Classroom

Experience is one of the most powerful teaching tools that we have to offer to others and yesterday we all learned many lessons at our weekly Rotary meeting. There are people that you meet during your life that you will always remember the stories they told about the life they have lived. Jack Binstead is someone whose life has impacted countless people and continues influence more and more people every day.

Jack spent 27 years as an English teacher at Overbrook High School trying to bridge the educational gap that still exists in many of our urban schools today. In his decades in the classroom he experienced the highs and lows few experience in their chosen profession. He recalled the countless students who have gone on to become authors, artists, singers, professional athletes, politicians, CEOs, and even a movie star which was tempered by the fact that, during his career, he experienced the loss of 45 students who didn’t live to see graduation.

Unfortunately, all too often the tragedy of 45 commonly outweighs the success of hundreds and is used to generalize the students that attend this and similar schools. It is important to remember that greatness is not limited by race or the economy; it is determined by desire, passion, and education. What we need are teachers that can kindle desire, inspire passion, and motivate students to value education. Jack was one of those teachers in the classroom and is still one of those teachers outside of the confines of academia.   

Jack’s passion for education is evident when he talks about the many students and experiences he had at Overbrook and his passion for service shines through when he speaks of his long tenure with the Bala Cynwyd – Narberth Lions. Whereas his served a community of students for many years, his focus on service now extends to the entire community. Similar to Rotary in many ways Lions are a service centric organization that follows a simple principle, “Whenever a Lions club gets together, problems get smaller. And communities get better.”   

Locally and internationally there have been many instances where both organizations have worked together to improve communities and help solve common problems. Just as when you enter many towns throughout this country with a Rotary and a Lions sign along the road, we work together in each community. Sometimes it takes a Lion. Sometimes it takes a Rotarian. Sometimes it takes a Kiwanis. Sometimes it takes a Mason. The most important thing is that we get people involved, we work together, and we all do what we can to solve some of the problems facing our local communities and the international community.

In this drive to do good we have to be open and we must communicate. This is not a batter of “I’m better than you” or “this is better than that”. We are all different organizations but we can still have a common voice and in order to accomplish this we have to remember that communication is key, the effectiveness of which all comes down to what you say and how you say it. This is one of the tenants that Jack taught to his students and it is something that we should all keep in mind as it is something that can easily be forgotten.

Simply put, don’t use your words to segregate service, use them to unite a community. Rotarians, invite a Lion to speak at your club. Lions, invite a Rotarian to speak at your club. Learn from all your experiences and find ways to help each other as well as the community and objectives you have in common. Remember, it’s all about “service above self”!

Change Is Good Even With Gray Hairs!

Thursday night was a mark in time that I will never forget. I was able to watch my oldest niece graduate from High School (with Honors). I can’t really explain why but I watched from the stands with a great sense of pride as she walked across the stage (preceded and followed by intense periods of boredom). I am very happy for her and for my sister… it was a long journey for both of them and they damn well deserve this time of celebration.

This was also a night that really pointed out the fact that I am getting old. I have no idea where the time has gone and I can still clearly remember sitting with my little five year old niece on the couch one summer afternoon when I was babysitting and watching all three original Star Wars movies in a row on VHS (I think that was the last time I have seen any of them). It’s amazing how we take those simple moments for granted and how things tend to get away from us as we get older.

I’m glad that I was able to experience this before having children of my own. The last thing I want is to have my life resemble the chorus from a Harry Chapin song. By taking the time now, by understanding and embracing the importance of family, and by supporting one another during these times of celebration I hope that I am setting myself up to, eventually, being a good father.

For the time being all I can do is focus on what I have… an amazing wife, a wonderful family, and great nieces and nephews. This will continue to be my focus until things change and my wife and I are in a better position to start our own family. But events like the one on Thursday make me look forward to the future and all the experiences that are yet to come (even the ones that force my hair line to retreat).