A New Year, A New Perspective, A New Prayer

I am both happy and sad to see this year come to a close and the next one begin. There have been some great times of celebration and also moments that I wish we could forget. It has been a year of polar opposites that has left many of us tired and longing to begin anew… to have a fresh start… to enjoy another chance at seeing the calendar change with only joy filling the previous months. Next year, I hope.

Interestingly, the Rosh Hashanah holiday contains the same paradox as that which I feel when looking back over the year. As is posted on the Aish website:

“The holiday of Rosh Hashanah contains a paradox. On the one hand, we are taught that Rosh Hashanah is the judgment day of mankind. The righteous are granted another year of life, the wicked are slated for destruction, and the average are given until Yom Kippur to mend their ways and merit another year (Talmud Rosh Hashanah 16b).

“We should be begging G-d for another year of life in the hope we can influence our judgment for the better. G-d’s court is convened. Our books are open. This is our big chance to pray for life.”

In addition to restarting the relationships we have for others through the admission of our faults, sins, and wrongdoings, we also make the same plea to G-d for forgiveness. While I can’t honestly say that I am one to give a clean slate to some people, I do my best to admit my mistakes and try my hardest to move past the wrongdoings of others. This is definitely easier said than done.

However, one of the things that has become more apparent to me over this past year in general and over the past couple of weeks in particular is the need that we have, my wife and I, to reconnect with G-d and the Jewish community in general. We need to do this not just for ourselves but, more importantly, for our son. We want him to know the world and his creator, we want him to understand and embrace all the aspects of faith, family, love, and life that make him who he is and make him such a precious gift in this world. After all…

“The purpose of the world is that mankind recognizes G-d and makes the world a reflection of His glory. G-d judges each of us on Rosh Hashanah not just based on our deeds, but based on how much we were a part of that grand mission. By identifying with and praying for G-d’s kingship to be revealed, we demonstrate that we want to be a part of the world’s purpose. We restart our relationship with G-d and redevote ourselves to Him. True, we might not have been perfect this past year, but we know what the world is about and we want to be a part of it. We want another year of life. We want to make the world a better place.”

Basically, I want him to not have the long list of things at the end of the year for which to ask for forgiveness like his father. I want him to not only have every opportunity in life but the confidence, conviction, faith, love, and support to take advantage of those opportunities. I want him to forever be a gift unto the world regardless of the path he chooses to take in life. I just want him to be a better man than I have thus far proven to be in this life and not look back with the same regrets. This is what I hope this and every new year brings.

Clarity And Closure

For the past week we have been thinking about the previous year and considering all the mistakes, missteps, and errors that we have made since the last time we asked G-d, and people, to forgive us for those things that we have done wrong. While I cannot recall having done any person wrong over the past year, that doesn’t mean that those issues don’t exist. I apologize to anyone I may have wronged.

However, given our interesting journey in Judaism over the past couple of years, it is important for me to acknowledge my lack of observance and maybe not knowing as much as I could and not studying the way that I should. For those things only G-d can forgive. And while I cannot swear to do one thing or another I ask to be forgiven for not finding the time to improve my faith. Thankfully, I know G-d to be far more understanding than is commonly thought as I have been given much more in this life despite my faults and errors.

This is a day when our humble confessions bring us closer to G-d. It is also on this day when I think about all those moments when G-d has, in one way or another, brought us closer to Him during the many days on the calendar. Anything from making me 5 minutes later in the morning to ensure I wasn’t involved in the pile up on the Pennsylvania Turnpike or blessing us with our first child after receiving difficult news from the doctor. Those are just two of the many moments that will continue to remind me of his presence.

So, in light of the confessions above, I am posting the following description of this holy day as posted on Chabad.org. It will both provide many people with some new information and give the rest of us a few moments to reflect on the day and this particular time of year when we bring ourselves closer to G-d. Sometimes just reading and absorbing can block out the distractions of the day and bring us that moment of light and clarity that we seek during this time of year.

Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year—the day on which we are closest to G‑d and to the quintessence of our own souls. It is the Day of Atonement—“For on this day He will forgive you, to purify you, that you be cleansed from all your sins before G‑d” (Leviticus 16:30).

For nearly twenty-six hours—from several minutes before sunset on 9 Tishrei to after nightfall on 10 Tishrei—we “afflict our souls”: we abstain from food and drink, do not wash or anoint our bodies, do not wear leather footwear, and abstain from marital relations.

Before Yom Kippur we perform the Kaparot atonement service; we request and receive honey cake, in acknowledgement that we are all recipients in G‑d’s world, and in prayerful hope for a sweet and abundant year; eat a festive meal; immerse in a mikvah; and give extra charity. In the late afternoon we eat the pre-fast meal, following which we bless our children, light a memorial candle as well as the holiday candles, and go to the synagogue for the Kol Nidrei service.

In the course of Yom Kippur we hold five prayer services: Maariv, with its solemn Kol Nidrei service, on the eve of Yom Kippur; Shacharit—the morning prayer, which includes a reading from Leviticus followed by the Yizkor memorial service; Musaf, which includes a detailed account of the Yom Kippur Temple service; Minchah, which includes the reading of the Book of Jonah; and Neilah, the “closing of the gates” service at sunset. We say the Al Chet confession of sins eight times in the course of Yom Kippur, and recite Psalms every available moment.

The day is the most solemn of the year, yet an undertone of joy suffuses it: a joy that revels in the spirituality of the day and expresses the confidence that G‑d will accept our repentance, forgive our sins, and seal our verdict for a year of life, health and happiness. The closing Neilah service climaxes in the resounding cries of “Hear O Israel . . . G‑d is one.” Then joy erupts in song and dance (a Chabad custom is to sing the lively “Napoleon’s March”), followed by a single blast of the shofar, followed by the proclamation, “Next year in Jerusalem.” We then partake of a festive after-fast meal, making the evening after Yom Kippur a yom tov (festival) in its own right.

Stop The Timer!

Last week my wife and I had some time off for Rosh Hashanah and while I would have preferred to spend the day in reflection of the previous year and planning for the upcoming changes there were other things that had to be done. It is just one of those times that we had to take advantage of the time that we had and make sure that certain things got done. It had already been too long and we weren’t left with any other option. Finally, we were going to have access to our entire apartment as, after two and a half months, the work to ‘fix’ the leak was done. Albeit a halfhearted budget cut remedy, it was done.

In the middle of the afternoon, one of the guys from the building came over with the carpet cleaner, filled the reservoir with tap water and dish soap (the building refuses to pay for carpet cleaner) and proceeded to take his time going over the 6x6 area in the corner of our living room. In the past the building had brought in professional cleaners when there was a leak in the office but things have obviously changed. This time it took half a dozen letters to management, countless stops at the front desk, two work from home days, a day off, and more patience than I thought I had to make sure that the work was complete but it was finally done.

This process pretty much epitomizes the drastic changes that have occurred since my wife and I first moved into the building in late 2011. Nearly half of the apartments in the building have been bought and sold, the board has been completely overhauled, management has been outsourced, and only a handful of staff remains from the time our first lease began. One positive is that the only thing that hasn’t changed is our rent.

While the apartment has served its purpose, things have changed so drastically that it no longer fits our needs. This would be the case even if nothing had changed and the ‘luxury’ tag that people like to plaster onto the building actually meant something. And while things are holding together at the moment I am constantly thinking and worrying about that which is on the other side of the ceiling tiles and behind the surface of the walls. Having lived in, worked for, and knowing the guys still dealing with the various issues on a daily basis, I know what condition the building is in and it leaves me very uncomfortable. But, right now, I am happy that the work is ‘done’ and that we finally have access to our entire apartment!

Can’t Say I Saw Last Year Coming!

One of the other great aspects of the fall is the Rosh Hashanah holiday. It is the time when we take the time to reflect on life and all that has happened over the past year. It is safe to say that we have a lot to look back on.

In some ways I can’t believe all that has changed and that is about to change. While there are many things that I had hoped to accomplish by now (see my previous resolutions posts), there are many things that I did not expect to happen but I am glad that they have. From family and friends to work and lodge, my daily life is nothing like it was at this time last year and I am grateful for every change, no matter how chaotic and overwhelming they may seem at times.

While this is a time when I try my best to look back at what has happened. This year, I can’t help but think about how things will be different this time next year. A new family and a new home. Another year as a Mason and another year doing what I love for ‘work’. All of these things I hope comprise my reality a year from now. But this is all part of the ‘new year’ and how we embrace the holiday. After all, this is Judaism 101:

In Hebrew, Rosh Hashanah means, literally, "head of the year" or "first of the year." Rosh Hashanah is commonly known as the Jewish New Year. This name is somewhat deceptive, because there is little similarity between Rosh Hashanah, one of the holiest days of the year, and the American midnight drinking bash and daytime football game.

There is, however, one important similarity between the Jewish New Year and the American one: Many Americans use the New Year as a time to plan a better life, making "resolutions." Likewise, the Jewish New Year is a time to begin introspection, looking back at the mistakes of the past year and planning the changes to make in the new year.

There have certainly been mistakes made over the past year but nothing I would change and not really anything that would cause me to change my outlook on the coming new year. While by no means perfect, the new year is something that I am eager to embrace and share with those I love. However, even though I can’t say I am looking forward to screams replacing the sounds of the shofar the next time autumn comes around, I am excited to share this holiday, this holy time of year, with a gift that only G-d can give. L’Shanah Tovah!

Early Is One Thing, But This Is Ridiculous!

...In the seventh month, on the first of the month, there shall be a sabbath for you, a remembrance with shofar blasts, a holy convocation. -Leviticus 16:24

The Symbols of Rosh Hashanah

It didn’t occur to me until this morning that some of the blogs that I have posted recently, especially yesterday, have served as my way of preparing for Rosh Hashanah (which is showing up this year earlier than a needy party guest looking for attention). Whether it is my own subconscious or divine guidance, I feel that I am in a much calmer mindset heading into the High Holy Days than I have been in the past largely because of the writing I have done lately. I like to think that it is G-d’s way of looking after me and showing His approval for many of the decisions that I have made this past year.

It has been a year of many changes, opportunities, and challenges. While I can’t say that I am happy with where I am, I am content with who I am. It has been a long time since I have had that feeling and while I will look to improve various aspects of my life (you may recall my half year resolutions) I at least know that I am starting off from a good place.

It has been a year of great memories and moments that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. From the trips my wife and I have taken and witnessing the life changing events in my family to reigniting my passion for writing and forging a bond with my community and with my heritage. There have also been moments of sadness that while difficult to experience they have brought me to this point in my life.

Introspection is at the heart of this holiday. Not just remembering the events of the past year but also thinking about the ways that G-d has shown Himself during those times and the gifts that we have been given. It is a time to make changes, much like the resolutions made in the changing of the Gregorian calendar, and think about the ways things might have been handled differently. It is a time to embrace life and let go of past wrongdoings. It is a time to come to terms with yourself and your Creator.

If you put forth the effort, this is a beautiful time of year. This is a holiday that removes some of the burdens of life, lifts you up, and kindles the flame that brightens your future. So before the silence is broken by the sound of the Shofar, take a step back and reflect upon your life, appreciate what you have, and forget about what you don’t need.

L'shanah tovah tikatev v'taihatem!

(May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year!)

For more information about Rosh Hashanah, please visit the Judaism 101 and/or Chabad.org websites (of course, you can get some really good information from your local synagogue(s) too). 

If you are looking for a way to give back during this time of year I recommend making a donation (tzedakah) to the Jewish National Fund and/or to the Lone Soldiers Program run by the Friends of the Israel Defense Forces. Of course, Nefesh B'Nefesh is a good one too. With all the recent turbulence in the region both organizations need help now more than ever.