New Project For A New Year

One of the ancillary benefits of being a mason and knowing most of the brothers at the lodge is that, over the years, I have gotten to know most of the professions, occupations, skills, and connections that can be found among the brethren. This past year, especially over the last six months, I have leveraged that knowledge and called upon my fellow brothers for their assistance and I have been tremendously happy with the experiences that I have had thus far. Heck, I don’t think that our real estate search or estate planning would have gone as smoothly had we used anyone else.

The hard work that my fellow masons have put forth on those personal projects is why I made a point to stand at our last stated meeting of the year and make their assistance and talent known. We are here to help one another. Sometimes it is in a direct manner serving as a realtor or attorney, sometimes it is about giving advice which I have done from time to time, and other times it is simply making the expertise known to the lodge or introducing brothers to one another who may not have had the opportunity to meet otherwise.

It was with this last concept in mind that I decided to start a new project for the coming year. Of course, I got the idea approved and made sure my assistant was on board as he will be doing the bulk of the work. It is a rather simple endeavor which is to pull together a lodge business directory which we will make available, physical and digital copies, to all the brothers of the lodge. This way when any of us are in need of a service or advice we know who to call. Unlike the general listings in the Yellow Pages, we know for certain that we can trust the person on the other end of the conversation and that they truly have our best interests at heart.

And I’m not even done trying to find brothers with which I can entrust some personal projects (mainly house work). I am in touch with a few other brothers to take care of some finishing work that needs to be done and I am looking forward to endorsing them as I have done for other brothers in the past. So, my advice to other brothers reading this post (or anyone involved in any kind of organization for that matter) is to take the time and get to know everyone and pull a similar directory together to share among the members of the lodge. After all, you never know when you might be in need of a brother’s help, aid, or assistance.

Holiday Shopping

Because I haven’t had enough to do lately, I have also been looking around and taking care of some holiday shopping. In addition to the “Black Friday” and “Lightening Deals” that are found all over now, there have also been some moments over the past couple of months when better deals were found. And some of those discounts didn’t even require haggling like at Raymour and Flanigan. At this point, because we started so early, we are basically done our holiday shopping. We have either already ordered or picked up gifts or we know exactly what we are getting for some people.

Of course, that has only been half of the purchasing equation lately as many of our orders haven’t been for others but rather for things that we need around the house. Furniture obviously being the biggest of these expenses which would have cause a coronary had we not known the total beforehand and certain death had we not negotiated a decent discount. Most of the other exciting things have been replacements for what was obviously worn out and we had been putting off purchasing until now.

While there is a little more of a sense of immediacy in these orders, especially for our kitchen, I was still able to wait on a number of items and get really lucky on others. Most of the effort was actually in scanning through the Amazon “lightening deals” while keeping a slightly open mind as to brand and style. We managed to get a lot of the things we need for a significantly lower price than we were expecting to pay and, in most instances, the quality of the product was much better too.

With all of this said, there is a word of warning that I would like to share with you. While most of you are aware of this fact, the reality is that Black Friday and Cyber Monday aren’t always the best days to find deals. I spoke with one retailer who specifically said that those days might be the worst times of year to find deals as they already know people are going out to shop so they specifically offer a smaller discount compared to other holidays throughout the year (President’s Day was mentioned as an example). My response to this and my advice is simple… keep shopping around, track the prices of what you are looking to buy, and never be afraid to either price match with another retailer or haggle them down beyond the sale price.

We are all watching our pennies and, like taxes, why pay more than you absolutely have to… a good rule of thumb is to never accept a discount less than 40% during Black Friday sales. This is the generally accepted bar for a good deal. If you take your time, shop around, get to know some retailers and salespeople, and sometimes price match, you can get the best deal no matter what time of year no matter what you are buying. It really is that simple.

Thy Will Be Done!

Before our son was born my wife and I had the conversation that we should really consider getting a basic will put together. It is a subject that has come up from time over the past year but there was always something that would come up to take our attention away from what needed to be done. Finally, at the last stated meeting, I was able to pull one of the brothers aside, who happens to be an estate attorney, and got his contact information. Again, it was a very simple will that we were looking for but something that we now, finally, had the time and opportunity to complete.

The impetus for getting this done really had nothing to do with our financial situation or the possibility of us owning a home in the near future. The motivation was much simpler, we want to make sure, should anything happen to us, that our son would be taken care of by those people that we believe would raise him right and would have his best interests in mind. That is really what we wanted to legally put in place leaving no question as to where he would go and who would take care of him.

The process was actually much easier than we were anticipating as my masonic brother was able to pull everything together in less than a week following my email to him with all the information (names, addresses, special requests, etc.) that were required for these basic drafts. Actually, we had two wills drawn up, one for me and one for my wife. Each mirrored the other as we have been in agreement ass to the contents from the beginning. The only difference being that, motivated by previous discussions at the lodge, I specifically requested a masonic service.

Given how easy it was, the fantastic rate which we were charged, and the simple fact that this brother will go above and beyond to assist us and offer us advice, I have already recommended is services many times over to both friends and family. So now the next stop is to the safe deposit box so that we will not have to worry about misplacing the originals. And I must say that it feels great to have this important document now completed and the worry about what we hope will never happen has now substantially subsided. We are now at ease knowing that, should something happen, our son will be taken care of and will be raised the right way.

Weathered By The Change

It has now been two thirds of a year and the weather is slowly returning to what it was when our son entered the world. The seasons have changed so quickly that it is hard to believe that soon the slight chill in the breeze will become a bitter wind and we will find ourselves looking out the window at the falling snow thinking about the inches that coated the ground when we left for the hospital that morning. Eight months and a heck of a lot has changed since it was just the two of us.

It certainly hasn’t been the easiest experience but it is also one that we wouldn’t trade for anything and we now understand the fondness with which people look back on those early months. It may not seem like it at the time, but those days are full of great moments and memories that will undoubtedly continue to fill our minds as our son grows. All the changes and milestones are things that are both surprising when they happen and amazing when we think about how big he has gotten and what he is now able to do all by himself.

Lately it has been a bit of a challenge with the constant colds and teething but it is the brief moments, even glimpses that put things in perspective and make it all worth the bags under our eyes and the fog in our minds. Even now, watching him peacefully sleeping in his crib, all of those tough hours seem to fade away. And knowing that, when we walk up to the crib to get him up tomorrow morning he will give us the biggest smile that his face can handle, all of those instances when we have doubted ourselves will be forgotten. It is the dichotomy that many people tried to explain to us before he was born but that we were unable to fully comprehend until now.

While there were nights and hours that felt like they would last an eternity, eight months has seemed to be but an instant, almost a singular moment in time. Our memories may contradict that sentiment but the reality is that this is all going by so fast… sometimes too fast. If anything, there are times when I wish I could slow down the hands on the clock, look around, and take everything in. Of course, there are also moment that I wish we had a fast forward button but they are definitely outweighed by all the joy and happiness that we get to hug each and every day. Happy 8 months baby!

TMI Tuesday: What Rhymes With Poop?

Well, the poop hit the fan last weekend! As last week came to an end, we were all tired. It was a long week at the office for me, my wife returned to work after doggedly pursuing the last document she needed from a former employer, and our son had his first experience at daycare (he spent three days there). We were all ready for a quiet weekend spent at home taking a break from the chaotic days that seem to have dominated these days off during the summer. Well, that was the plan…

We had noticed that our son wasn’t feeling well later in the week and my wife had taken him to the pediatrician on Friday to get checked out. We followed the directions they gave us and we put him to bed with a little Tylenol (per the instructions we were given), a cold air humidifier in the corner, and the head of his bed slightly elevated. A few hours later, with my wife and son now both asleep, I was at my computer sorting through my neglected emails when I could hear what sounded like a wounded cow near the top of the stairs. When I turned the corner to walk toward the bedroom there was my wife holding our moaning child. Something wasn’t right.

It wasn’t long before we were all in the car on our way to the emergency room. Thankfully, it was a slow night and I was able to hold my son in the hospital bed shortly after our arrival. In the end it wasn’t just a cold as the pediatrician told us earlier, he had Croup. Almost immediately after he was given the right medicine the groans stopped and we could both tell that he was beginning to feel better. An hour after we arrived we were back in the car and on our way home. We were all exhausted and soon after our return assumed our positions from before this whole ordeal began.

Obviously we all slept in on Saturday as we resumed our plans and took it easy allowing our son sleep as much as he needed and my wife and I trying to relax, order dinner, and spend some time together. Well, dinner was a mistake. By Sunday morning our son was returning to his normal happy self while my wife and I were struggling to do just about anything. After my wife reluctantly cancelled her plans for the day, we knew that this wasn’t going to get better without some help so we both headed over to the local Urgent Care once my mom arrived to watch our recuperating baby.

Fortunately, the doctors knew exactly how to treat food poisoning and so after some medicine and two IV bags, we returned to the house feeling a lot better than when we left. While we were both nowhere near ‘better’ we both felt good enough to return to work the following morning and our son, no longer contagious, returned to daycare. It was a long weekend after a long week and I hope we never have to go through that again!

Graduation Party

Today was one that made me think about my own experiences and left me in a state of slight disbelief. We spent a good part of the afternoon at a family get together to celebrate the graduation of a cousin. Oddly enough, the timing worked out almost perfectly and we were all ready to go and out the door with more than enough time to make it down the highway to the party. Given that we left the same time our son usually eats, this was a surprise to both of us.

The party itself was great. Not only was it nice to celebrate this milestone in life but it was also an opportunity to see a lot of family members that we had not had a chance to speak with since the bris. Things have changed quite a bit since then and the change of pace was welcomed. And, I must say, these people sure know how to throw a party.

One of the things that I couldn’t help but think about was the fact that this year marks 15 years since I had the same kind of celebration. I just can’t believe that it has been that long even though there are many days when it seems like an entire lifetime has passed since I celebrated my graduation along with my siblings (each of them graduated from college the same year). When reflecting on this, there are so many family members that I am friendly with now that I wish I had known better then.

Of course, there are a lot of things that I wish was different about that time in my life. The changes in attitude, perspective, motivation, and experience are staggering when considering my life now compared to my personality immediately after high school. There is a reason why I ended up on the 5 year college program. Thankfully, the one whom we were celebrating today seem to have their head on right and has the motivation to succeed.

When asked to write something to the graduate today there was no way that I was going to say something similar to that above. There really isn’t a need for that. All I could say was to enjoy each day (individually and as a whole), work hard, and take advantage of all the opportunities and experiences that come your way during this time in your life. After all, you may not know exactly where they are going to take you but so long as you keep your head on straight, they will all provide you with a life that is full, vibrant, and makes you excited every day to get out of bed in the morning.

Kind of wish that I had heeded my own advice as a teenager but, in the end, it may have not been a perfect ride so far but I wouldn’t change any of it. Okay, maybe one or two or twelve things but all those experiences made me who I am now and I am pretty darn happy with that. Some of you may not be but I am feeling really good about the way things have turned out.

So, I leave you with this clichéd question to think about (and possibly respond below): Knowing what you do know, the experiences that you have had, and the mistakes that you made, what advice would you give to yourself when you graduated high school?  

From One To Many

There is always a time each year when a variety of events seem to converge during a single month at the lodge. Sometimes it can even come down to a single day. It is hard enough when there are a variety of Masonic commitments converging, having family projects that need to be addressed at the same time just adds to the difficulty.

While it would be nice to be able to go to everything and not lose out on the time at home, it isn’t a realistic scenario. Anyone who is or has been an officer knows this routine all too well. And while I have recently significantly cut back on the time I have been spending at the lodge, I am uncertain as to whether I can avoid the pull of my office much longer.

Things have to get done this month and there are certain commitments that I have to make. This is nothing new but the number of things that have to get done before the next meeting, an official visitation, has become overwhelming at times. I can’t even find the time to coordinate the transitioning of tasks to my assistant.

However, when I step back and take a look at the problem it really doesn’t seem that bad. There have been times in life when I had to look for something to do and now I am looking at a variety of options. While it would be nice to be able to pick just one, I still have the options and people who want me to be present at each. It is a really good feeling and on that is too often overlooked.

This is a message that I do my best to relay to the new brothers that come into the lodge… we want you to be here. We are all integral to the success of the lodge and the fraternity as a whole. You never have to look for a place to be or somewhere that you can go… there is always a place for you, sometimes a chair for you, at the lodge. It is a powerful thing to think about especially during this time when the digital barriers as so ever-present. We want you here, as an equal, as our brother.

Even though Michael Keaton warned us of the pitfalls, it looks like I may have no other option than to be present at two or more events… I am pretty sure that the simple one will be showing up to one of them calling everyone Steve. The trick is trying to figure out how to accomplish this seemingly impossible task. It is just nice to know that wherever I find myself I am going to be welcomed and I will be among family.

Well, That Was Useless!

The learning curve is steep when you have your first child and there are many instances when you are scrambling to find the answers to questions that seemingly pop out of nowhere. Sometimes you reach out to family and friends who have kids to see what advice they have and chose from one of the many options that have inevitably been offered. Other time you reach out to the professionals and either call the doctor or, as we did a number of times early on, ask the doula. Each time we listen to the advice from those people who have “been there, done that.”

Thanks to social media, we can get a plethora of opinions and answers to our questions in a very short amount of time. At least that is what I have seen on my wife’s Facebook feed as I have usually just picked up the phone or asked someone in person when I run into them. While my approach may take longer and seem outdated by many, it is how I prefer getting the answers and advice that we need. It also eliminates the “other opinions”.

I have had countless conversations and have heard the many humorous anecdotes from family and friends who used social media (mostly Twitter and Facebook; these aren’t LinkedIn conversations) when they first became parents. While they received the helpful hints, tips, advice, and answers that they were looking for they also got the opinions of those who don’t have kids but “read somewhere that this is the best thing to do” or passed along the half of the conversation that they heard 5 years ago when their friend was considering having a child. Basically, useless information… I actually heard of someone saying that you should hold your newborn upside down and lightly shake them if they get hiccups. Wow, just wow. Either they don't have kids or they're in jail. 

While I have an opinion on just about everything (I know, you’re shocked) there are certain things that I will not offer second hand advice on. This includes parenting. And I still hold fast to that as we are only 6 weeks in so I can’t really speak from experience on anything. If specifically asked, either by phone or in person, I will gladly share my experience but I can’t give advice especially when there are general posts made on social media. Maybe after we have done this more than once I might offer my opinion but I doubt it.

A Family Of Three

Sometimes the easiest and hardest thing you can do is to ask someone for help. This is especially true when you have your first child. While there was a part of us that just wanted to do it ourselves, we knew that with everything that was going on around us it would, at the very least, be a difficult undertaking. It is with this in mind that we decided to have a doula (also known as baby nurse or postpartum nurse) assist us during the first month.

We first met one of the doulas when we were still in the hospital trying to center ourselves again after all that had transpired over the first 24 hours as a family. With our son arriving a little earlier than expected, there were a number of projects around the house that we had yet to complete. This is when we experienced one of the big perks of having this extra help as I was able to take her to the house and show her a few of the things that we would like taken care of before we got home (mostly laundry, dishes, and a few organization projects).

When we opened the door, there were a number of things checked off our list. Maybe the most important one was that we were able to go to bed that night and sleep on clean sheets. This support continued for the next several weeks as we became more comfortable with having a newborn in our life and while we had to deal with a variety of other events beyond our control.

As time passed, the help continued to be appreciated (most recently while I was on my annual business trip) but the need to be alone with our son continued to grow. Our routine was taking shape and we looked forward more and more to the times when it was just the three of us. It was time to do things on our own and look to family and friends for the advice we needed from time to time (we still sought the advice before but now it is what we solely rely upon when needed).

We still question whether we held on to the doula safety net too long but, in hindsight, we know that there were moments early on when it would have been a struggle without their presence. But now we have our routine and our son expects to see us rather than someone else when he gets fussy or wakes up in the middle of the night. While the constant support may be good for some for a long period of time, it is not something that we wanted to last and now we can enjoy life as a family of three.

Face Value

While there are some trying personal situations going on lately, I have been doing my best to stay as objective as possible, offer the few tips that I have to make things a touch easier or prepare those a little better, and, in some instances, just stay the heck out of the way. More often than not it all comes down to the “shut up and listen” mentality. However, there have been a few moments when I have attempted to make things a little easier by letting people know of a few things that they need to keep in mind.

Recently I did just that and, just like in previous instances, it was a complete mess. While I will not get into details or divulge any names, let’s just say that the reaction that I saw made me second guess the motives of some individuals. Furthermore, it confirmed that those people don’t trust me whatsoever and believe that I have an ulterior motive with everything that I say. While that perception is not in line with the reality of my words, the fact that things were so heinously skewed makes me question the motives of the person with whom I spoke.

I take great offense when my offer of assistance, however minor it was in this instance, is viewed in such a manner. And frankly, I am done in trying to help certain individuals. There are other caught in this same situation for which I would do anything I possible can but then there are the others. I wasn’t even expecting acknowledgement of this tip so if nothing were to be said I would continue to offer the little I have from my experiences to assist. However, to be confronted in this way… I am done. Thomas Hardy said it best and for those incurables there is little that can be done to change their prognosis.

So while I am finished with those who revel in the conspiracy of their on minds and searching for a different meaning behind advice that does not exist, I will continue to listen, process, and do my best to relay any helpful information to those that will take it in the way that it is intended… a simple offer to ease the process in any minute way that I can. And with all that is going on we can’t say with any certainty about what is going to happen in the future but some things are coming into focus and we are able to plan for the inevitable. Until then most of the time I will simply shut up and listen and help those who take my offer at face value.

Productive Day At The Lodge

For the first time in a few weeks, I got up early this morning for a Saturday full of activity. While I had plans to run a few errands as well, by the time I left the lodge in the early onset of evening I had already gotten plenty of things done. While only a few of us showed up to the lodge cleaning event (this was largely due to my forgetting to send a slew of emails prior) the few of us there took care of the essential tasks that have been put off for months.

In addition to the work that needed to be done, it was also a time of exploring the lodge, planning for the next few months, and just enjoying the company and fellowship. Even though we see one another most months, it is a different experience spending some time with one another without having to prepare for a meeting. It was also an interesting time looking into the corners of the building that we seldom see and discovering a few long lost documents and artifacts from the history of the lodge including old lodge bylaws (my salary hasn’t gone up much in the last 90 years) and a collection of thirty year old glasses from throughout the district.

However, the most productive part of the day was in the conversations I had with handful of brothers that helped us achieve at least some of our weekend goal. I was able, in preparation for the anticipated changes coming early next year, talk with my mentee about becoming my assistant. I am incredibly proud of the progress that he has made in such a short period of time and I know that he will be able to step in at a meeting if I need him too.

The other conversation of note was with a brother who happens to also be a realtor. While during meeting nights business isn’t really discussed beyond how things are going in a general conversation, I try my best to take note of a brother’s occupation just in case. He happened to show up at the lodge today to help with the cleaning so I thought it was the perfect time to discuss some real estate questions and I am so glad that I did as it looks like our dreams might actually be within reach for the spring. There could be one more big change on the horizon.

While we all gathered to do our part to improve our lodge we all seemed to get much more out of the day than we were expecting. We found a new officer for next year, new business, and a future that seems to be a little bit brighter and cleaner than when I got out of bed this morning. While it would have been nice to have more brothers join us, I can’t really complain about the great day that has now come to an end.

Great Conversations And Unwanted “Advice”

Ever since we announced that we were having a baby there have been dozens and dozens of family and friends offering us advice based on their experience. I am a firm proponent of gathering as much information as possible from as many people as possible especially from those who are parents. We have already had a variety of great conversations and have received a tremendous amount of excellent advice since the announcement and we are constantly receiving little bits of wisdom every now and again. It is amazing how much love and support that we have received and we are grateful for those people in our life. Yesterday was one of those days when we felt that warmth as family continuously approached us, offered their congratulations, and chatted briefly about how my wife is holding up. But it was not our day and we all wanted to enjoy the party, the real reason why we were all together.

Of course, over the past couple of weeks, there have also been a few people that keep popping up and offering lectures of what we should be doing and what we are currently doing wrong. They have also offered their pessimistic views on what they “hope doesn’t happen” while mixing in monologues about how we can avoid unrelated problems that they know absolutely nothing about. This is usually followed by “offers” to gain some additional practice in the coming months because we have obviously never been around infants and know nothing about some of the unpleasant aspects which they proceed to outline in great detail.

These people have a commonality, they are the center of the world. It is not a dialogue, it is a matter of they know what is best and we need to do it that way or we are wrong. This characteristic also encompasses a few people that are not excited about the good news because that means that we are not able to give them as much of our attention anymore. Did I mention that these people are over five years old? Keep in mind that we prefer to have the quick conversations and move on to another topic. There are too many great things happening to many fantastic people in our life to focus on ourselves or any other single person.

This is a very special time in our life and we want to embrace all the positive energy, unique experiences, and great people in our life. While, for various reasons, we can’t get rid of all the negative people and energy, we will do our best to minimize them and focus on the love and support. At the same time, we are going to continue living life and celebrating the amazing events and milestones of our friends and family. Of course, we won’t turn down great advice now and again!

Summer Travel Pit Stop

Giving the camera and travel journal a little rest before resuming our day trips.

The past couple of weekends my wife and I have just been tired. By the time the work week has come to a close neither one of us is in the mood to do anything and we are lacking the energy to convince ourselves otherwise. With all that we have been doing lately it really isn’t a surprise but it would be nice to get back to the routine of our weekend day trips. Now just isn’t the time, we need to take a break and just be for a little bit.

After all, we have 7 more weekends left in the summer and a list of places we have yet to visit. So far, we have a few commitments already made and trips roughly planned to Knobles, Indian Echo Caverns, Winterthur, Milford, and a few other places. A bit different this time around is that we will not be alone on a few of these little adventures with a number of family members and friends joining us in our travels. And, no surprise, there are a few Masonic commitments that I will be attending as well. It should be a pretty busy summer from here on out.

At the same time we are already beginning to plan the adventures for next summer including an extended trip to Virginia to both enjoy the family history and to explore a place where I haven’t been since the family reunion in 1987. Can’t say I remember much but I do recall having a great time and with all that I have learned in recent years, I am looking forward to seeing everything through a completely different lens. Plus, it is another place that my wife has never been and I always enjoy bringing her places where she can experience something new. This trip will be in addition to our little Masonic excursion to Pittsburgh.  

Anyway, that is next summer. Beyond those two trips we really don’t have anything planned beyond the fact that we will try to visit the places that we don’t get to this summer. So, I guess we better get moving again or we are going to have too many things to do and places to see next summer and not enough time to get to all of them. Just look at our work situations, if the difference between last summer and this one has taught us anything it’s the fact that you never know how much your life can change from one year to another. Life is meant to be lived now not put off for the future or else you will just be stuck in a cycle of perpetual planning.

*As a side note, if you want to read some posts from someone living for the moment go visit my friend Nadine's blog about her walking the Camino in Spain! She has some amazing photos too!

Saturday Afternoon Detour

Final decision... Smith & Wesson M&P 9C

On Saturday I alluded to a stop that I made on the way back from Scranton with my mentee. Well, it shouldn’t be a shock to anyone, at least anyone who has been reading this blog for any length of time, that we stopped by my local gun shop. It was actually one of those instances that everything seemed to work out perfectly… we left Scranton earlier than expected, the trip was fast than anticipated, and it turned out that my passenger didn’t have to get back right away and was free for the afternoon. All of those things added up to a slight detour to enjoy looking at a variety of firearms.

It all stemmed from previous conversations that we had discussing additional carry options for him. An upgrade if you will. I kept telling him that we would eventually make it up to Tanner’s Sport Center so that we could take a look around and see what worked for him. This trip put everything into place so that our side trip made sense. We had the time to drive over there and we had plenty of time, up to Scranton and back, to discuss all the things that he wanted in a new carry gun. By the time we got to the shop I had a pretty good list of things that I wanted to show him for consideration.

Now, I want you to keep in mind that I am fully aware that a firearms purchase, especially one that is going to be carried, is a very individual process. Something that works for me, whether it be caliber, size, weight, action, etc., may not work for someone else. I am not a brand loyal shooter. There are too many options and high quality firearms out there that I couldn’t really settle on one brand, model, and caliber. I have my preferences but I am not going to rule anything out (even the cheaper options have their place).

His list was pretty basic: 9mm, smaller, double stack magazine (10+ capacity with larger magazine options as a plus... we live in a free state), and striker fired. Keep in mind that he was carrying a Ruger LCP at the time. So, with those options as a starting point we walking into the gun shop and began browsing the used gun case. While he was asking the sales person if they had a used Glock 26 I spotted a Smith & Wesson M&P 9C off in the corner of the case. While he had a few doubts at first, he soon realize when he put the two side by side that they were the same size with many of the same features. The only real difference is preference in both appearance and feel.

There were also a few single stacks that we pulled out of the case (Walther, Kahr, Smith & Wesson M&P Shield, etc.) but capacity weighed heavily on his decision. What finally pushed him to make the purchase was the various holster options that seemed to work well for him and the extra magazines that were available on the rack. So, in the end, I guess you could say that I helped to guide my mentee in more than just Freemasonry. In both instances, I am really just there to offer advice and guidance with the final decision being his to make. I’m just glad that I am able to help him with two things that he enjoys.

The Many Definitions Of Family

Whether you realize it or not we each have many different families in our lives. Of course we all have the family we are born into, the ones with which we share the same blood (good or bad). We also have the families that we marry into (again good or bad). But we also have other families whether they be through the military, through a fraternal organization, a community service organization, or whatever other groups that we become associated with during our lives and slowly develop a bond with over time.

There is another basic group that is a little tougher which comprises of some of the close friends that you meeting during the course of your many days that you build a trust with that can only be compared to the trust that you have with a family member. These are the people, at least for me, that are probably closest to blood without being related. This is a very small group maybe the smallest of them all. These are the people that you will do anything for just like you would for someone you share your DNA with and they treat you in the same manner (essential if you are going to consider them family in the first place).

One of these friends, I will call him my Irish brother, gave me a call this past week. It had been some time since we last spoke but, as usual, we picked up the conversation as if we sat down for lunch the day before. Unfortunately, this was not a call that contained good news. No death or unemployment but it was something equally jarring (some would even say more so). Having half a continent between us, all I could do is listen and offer the little advice I had (I have never found myself in the same position).

But sometimes, like family, the best thing that you can do is be there for them. They know you’re not going to be able to fix whatever is wrong, sometimes you just have to donate your ear and offer whatever encouragement and/or perspective that you can to try and get them through the rough spot in their life. It is a time when your own issues need to be put aside and all of your focus needs to be given to your unrelated family. In the end, if you consider them family you know they would be doing the same for you.

In this instance, I did what I could and tried to keep things in perspective. Being able to see everything from the outside looking in I know he is going to be better off and his future has been opened up to many more opportunities than he had before. Sometimes something bad needs to happen in order for the best in life to be laid at your feet. I am certain that is what will happen and I am looking forward to the calls from the other end of the spectrum in the near future.

Optimism is sometimes the best cure for what ails you and this was one of those instances. And while I tend to be a realist during my daily life there is nothing that says the two can’t coexist. So I will finish this post with a very simple collection of thoughts for my friend, my Irish brother: While it is hard to see through the foggy lens of shock and mourning for what has been lost, you have the opportunity of a lifetime. You have the ability to create memories that will never suffer the degradation of time. You have life opening up in front of you with opportunities unthinkable in the past. You have a future that will allow you to shine and bask in all that this world has to offer. You have been born again (and not in the loopy religious way). Stay strong and carry on!