A Hodgepodge of Resolutions

For many this is the time of year when resolutions are made. Some of these are to finish project that have long been dormant. Sometimes it is a matter of getting things started. Other things on most lists usually revolve around improving yourself in one way or another. Overall, resolutions generally have one thing in common to make the coming year better than the last. For me, in this seemingly mandatory post for bloggers, my list is a hodgepodge containing a little from every category.

On the personal improvement side of things I would really like to lose some weight, quit smoking, find more time to relax, and generally improve my health. I think I will focus on that last part and let everything else fall into place so I am going to simplify things a bit. My goal this year is to go to the doctor (once I find one) and follow their instructions. This includes a general family physician, optometrist, and dentist. Others might be added down the line but those are the ones that I will focus on first.

This is also time to finish at least some of the things on my long list of projects that has been teasing my on my computer screen every week. This includes completing builds, submitting manuscripts, pulling applications together, scanning the photos and family documents that I have stored throughout my office, organizing all aspects of the house, and a variety of other things. Just like the last category, we need to simplify this so I am going to focus on completing one project a month (more if time permits) while working on others if they happen to overlap. Expect to see some post in the future on this little smorgasbord of items.

The last of the three mentioned above is to get things started, to get project off the ground. I have already started a few which I cannot mention at this time but there are still plenty of others that need to be done. There are a variety of outlines that I recently discovered forgotten on some flash drives dug up during our move. It is time to write. It is also time to start the other application that have been put on the back burner for the last 2+ years. And it is time to start the small projects around the house that I have been meaning to work on since we moved in. It is a long list which will certainly grow so expect to see this rehashed in future years. The simple approach to this is that as one project mentioned in the previous paragraph comes to an end another begins… one per month.

However, the most important aspect of the New Year that I need to focus on is to keep things going. I can’t stop, I have to keep moving forward. There are a lot of commitments that are already built into my schedule and I make sure to spend as much time as possible with my family (this could be improved upon so add it to the list). The most important things I can do is to keep myself busy, keep things moving in the right direction at work, continue writing honest daily posts, maintain the growth that we are seeing at the lodge, continue to explore during various day and overnight family excursions, further my genealogical research (hopefully more discoveries/documents are on the way), and, most importantly, enjoy and love my family, what we have, and the good aspects of the life that we enjoy every day. That is the real resolution and promise that I am making to myself for 2016!

New Year, New Life

It is always interesting spending time at the lodge for the first time in a new year. The turn from one meeting in the previous year to the next is something that can’t really be explained but there seems to be a new life that is breathed into the lodge as the page turns on the calendar. I guess it is something about working for the better part of a year to put a plan together and now that the time has come we are finally able to put it into action. And it is also a time to catch up on some of the things that I have missed over the last couple of months.

Last night in particular, I spent much of the night jumping from conversation to conversation either trying to figure out the next steps on a project already started or looking for some way to get things off the ground. The lodge office, the contents of which was moved last month, is something that we still have to figure out and it is pretty astounding how much stuff was in that space which was now staring me in the face. Needless to say, the pile in the upstairs room was bigger than I expected.

Seeing this mountain of masonic ephemera and memorabilia, I immediately started trying to figure out a way to configure the room. What did we need to keep? What could we possibly get rid of? Was there a way to have the space serve multiple functions? Was there enough room in the closet for storage? These were just some of the questions that initially came to mind which became more detailed as I explored more options and more closely assessed what we had to work with. There is tremendous potential that I am excited to see realized in the coming months.

Toward the end of the evening it was time to try and get another project off the ground… raising dues. Obviously a topic that isn’t really going to be very popular but we have gotten to a point that it is a necessity to have the discussion (and debate if necessary). We are the smallest lodge in our district (by a good margin) and we have, by far, the lowest dues in the district (maybe in the entire commonwealth). That combination is obviously not going to work in the short or the long term. While I don’t know quite yet what this little journey will entail, we have at least gotten things started and the conversation moving in the right direction. We will have to see what happens.

While this past year was trying and draining in about every way possible hopefully this year I can maintain the energy that we all have seemed to found in this new year. There is a lot of work to be done, much more than the few things I have mentioned and alluded to here and there, and the right people in place and participating in the success of the lodge on a weekly basis. There are enough sturdy shoulders to lift this lodge to the next level and I am definitely not the only who has noticed this and we are all excited about where we are heading.

Firearms Friday: The First Resolution

This will not be one of thee guns taken to the range!

Of the many plans that I made for the past year (and the years prior) one of the things that I never seemed to be able to make time for was heading to the range. The opportunities are few and far between these days. Heck, there are even other build projects and reviews that have been put off for month and those are just the things that I can think of off the top of my head. So, given that the holiday falls on a Friday, I guess one of the first resolutions that I will make is a very simple one… get to the range more often.

Given where we now live, the traveling logistics should be much easier. And now that things are slowly, very slowly, settling down, I might be able to find a little bit of time here and there for some range meditation. Of course, let me be clear that there is little chance that I can find a regular routine for this and I don’t expect to get out a lot but it would be nice get on the firing line more than a couple times over the course of the year.

Not only do I need to regain some proficiency but it will also allow me to assess what I need to work on (both new issues and old glitches). This applies to both my own shooting but also some of the builds and modifications that I have done over the past couple of years. It will hopefully allow me to get some training in while also working in some time for evaluations. If so, expect to be reading some reviews in the weeks and months to come. I am not going to say what I am going to write about but it is safe to say that many of these items have been mentioned before and many of the parts can be found in some of the lists that I have compiled over the years.

There are several AR parts and platforms that need some rounds down range. There are also some interesting (and not so interesting) handguns that need to be tested. And there are a number of people with whom I need to catch up and one of the best places (at least with that motley crew) to meet would be at the range. However, most importantly, I need to have that peace behind the trigger that allows me to forget the world for a few seconds as I focus on putting rounds on target. Maybe, put maybe, I can regain the proficiency that I once possessed.

Third Term

It was rather uneventful when the new Masonic year started on Sunday. The long weekend was coming to an end when I received a rather exuberant text message from the outgoing Worshipful Master. It was at that moment when it really became clear to me the nature of my office. When I took the oath and stepped in as Secretary in 2013 I did so not to simply serve a year and move on. I made the commitment to myself as well as other brothers in the lodge that I was going to serve the lodge for the foreseeable future with six years being my goal.

When I made that commitment I knew that I would see officers move through the chairs and Worshipful Masters come and go. I wanted to be the constant that the brothers could count on being at my desk in the east year after year. And while I didn’t fully understand what I was getting myself into when I agreed to take the office, I have come to appreciate both the rewarding and challenging aspects of the job.

And that is what this office really is… a job. I work month after month not just to keep things running as smoothly as possible but, at time, I am also serving as mediator among the brothers, adviser to the officers, and, on occasion, ambassador of our lodge. This is both a behind the scenes position and one that calls for me to be in the spotlight. I guess you could say that there is a certain amount of politics that one has to accept when they decide to sit at this desk.

It is with this at the forefront of my mind that I make the conscious decision each and every month to do the best job I possibly can to try and make a positive impact, no matter how small, on the lodge. Obviously, this has not gone unnoticed and I have been honored to have been reelected for a third term. And the confidence that the brethren have shone in me is certainly something that I appreciate and carry with me each and every day and why I am determined to really make an impact this coming year.

This year, as I mark my third year in office I will also be celebrating my third masonic birthday. It is certainly an oddity to have assumed this level of responsibility so quickly and it is something that I am proud of having accomplished. Three years ago I was still waiting to hear back from the lodge about when I would be receiving my degrees (I ended up participating in a one day class in April) and now I am on the other end of the conversation inviting potential candidates to join us for dinner before our meeting.

A New Year, A New Perspective, A New Prayer

I am both happy and sad to see this year come to a close and the next one begin. There have been some great times of celebration and also moments that I wish we could forget. It has been a year of polar opposites that has left many of us tired and longing to begin anew… to have a fresh start… to enjoy another chance at seeing the calendar change with only joy filling the previous months. Next year, I hope.

Interestingly, the Rosh Hashanah holiday contains the same paradox as that which I feel when looking back over the year. As is posted on the Aish website:

“The holiday of Rosh Hashanah contains a paradox. On the one hand, we are taught that Rosh Hashanah is the judgment day of mankind. The righteous are granted another year of life, the wicked are slated for destruction, and the average are given until Yom Kippur to mend their ways and merit another year (Talmud Rosh Hashanah 16b).

“We should be begging G-d for another year of life in the hope we can influence our judgment for the better. G-d’s court is convened. Our books are open. This is our big chance to pray for life.”

In addition to restarting the relationships we have for others through the admission of our faults, sins, and wrongdoings, we also make the same plea to G-d for forgiveness. While I can’t honestly say that I am one to give a clean slate to some people, I do my best to admit my mistakes and try my hardest to move past the wrongdoings of others. This is definitely easier said than done.

However, one of the things that has become more apparent to me over this past year in general and over the past couple of weeks in particular is the need that we have, my wife and I, to reconnect with G-d and the Jewish community in general. We need to do this not just for ourselves but, more importantly, for our son. We want him to know the world and his creator, we want him to understand and embrace all the aspects of faith, family, love, and life that make him who he is and make him such a precious gift in this world. After all…

“The purpose of the world is that mankind recognizes G-d and makes the world a reflection of His glory. G-d judges each of us on Rosh Hashanah not just based on our deeds, but based on how much we were a part of that grand mission. By identifying with and praying for G-d’s kingship to be revealed, we demonstrate that we want to be a part of the world’s purpose. We restart our relationship with G-d and redevote ourselves to Him. True, we might not have been perfect this past year, but we know what the world is about and we want to be a part of it. We want another year of life. We want to make the world a better place.”

Basically, I want him to not have the long list of things at the end of the year for which to ask for forgiveness like his father. I want him to not only have every opportunity in life but the confidence, conviction, faith, love, and support to take advantage of those opportunities. I want him to forever be a gift unto the world regardless of the path he chooses to take in life. I just want him to be a better man than I have thus far proven to be in this life and not look back with the same regrets. This is what I hope this and every new year brings.

Last Minute Notice

Sometimes we all forget about things until the last minute and we have to rush to get them done. It happens to all of us at one point or another. This was the case when I was finishing up some work on my computer late on Friday night when I realized that we had not finalized the lodge notice for the month. With all of the end of the year things that we have been working on is simply slipped our minds and was in limbo for much of the holiday season.

Thankfully the stated meeting was postponed for a week due to the holiday so we still had a little bit of time to get it done. We had both dropped the ball on this one but, fortunately, there was still enough time to pick it up and make the play. By 8am the following morning, we had a rough draft in place and I was able to edit and update the content that I needed to add. This was with no help from my lodge email which decided not to allow attachments during the process. By noon, everything had been finalized and the notices were being printed.

Of course, now that we had gotten it done and had arranged for a time to meet at the lodge to get all the mailings put together, the next bumps in the road presented themselves. On my way to Ardmore I had to take a quick detour to Staples to pick up stamps and envelopes as I have been unable to find the time to get the stamped and addresses envelopes from the post office. I guess a couple more steps won’t hurt us.

We got to the lodge in the mid afternoon and shortly after arrival I pulled out the address labels and noticed another step that we would have to take this month. Normally I go through the list beforehand and cross off all the brothers that get the notice emailed to them… when I looked at the labels it was clear that this had not been done and so I had to go by memory crossing off names that I was certain would receive the electronic version.

Even with all the extra steps we came together and got all the mailing done in under an hour. Not too bad and still faster than when I have to do it myself. Not a great way to start the New Year but at least it got done and it will make the rest of the year seem that much smoother. At least that is the hope.

Back To The Present

The New Year has started and there is a lot that we have to look forward to in the coming months and a lot that we have to be thankful for from the past year. In the past I have taken this opportunity to make a list of resolutions and to look back on the previous year. Well, those posts will be coming soon but I found myself thinking about something else today… Back to the Future… part 2.

A couple of days ago I found my wife watching the first movie in the trilogy as I ventured up the stairs and got ready for bed. It has always been one of those movies that she would fall asleep to and I really don’t mind because I remember watching them growing up as well. Last night we had to change things up as she had watched part one for a couple of nights in a row. So I put in part two, tucked her in, and came down stairs to get some work done not thinking too much about what was flickering on the screen.

As the clock struck midnight and the calendar turned another page, I could hear the faint sounds of the fictional 2015 echoing down the stairs as the reality of that year was around me. It is amazing to think about something that seemed so far off when we were growing up to now be a reality. While always a little far afield in their predictions, it is even more entertaining to see the drastic difference between reality and the trajectory that Hollywood portrayed over two decades ago.

So where is my freaking flying car?!?!

I am fascinated watching the prediction of the flying car, hover boards, Café 80’s (I am sure there are a few that are around), rehydrating dinner (makes me think of Ramen noodles), 3-D advertisements on the street, the national weather service, and faxing still a prevalent form of communication. All of these things are in addition to the craziness of the ‘fashion’ which you could tell came out of the time when the movie was made. It would be interesting if these things were really part of our daily life but that is not the case.

However, what might be more interesting is what is not represented. The internet and email are a huge part of daily life but are nowhere to be found on the screen. Smart phones are more ubiquitous than the walkie-talkies that Marty and Doc employ but don’t make an appearance. Flat screen televisions have replaced the large boxes that once played our movies but the café still contained the former format. And did you see the size of those discs where they hid Jennifer?

So while we may not have flying cars and weather that we can control to suit our needs (or time travel), there are still a lot of things that we have today that even Hollywood couldn’t predict. It certainly isn’t all perfect but things could be a lot worse as 2015 gets under way. Of course, we will have to see if the Cubs to really beat Miami in the World Series this year… now that would be one heck of a prediction.

Can’t Say I Saw Last Year Coming!

One of the other great aspects of the fall is the Rosh Hashanah holiday. It is the time when we take the time to reflect on life and all that has happened over the past year. It is safe to say that we have a lot to look back on.

In some ways I can’t believe all that has changed and that is about to change. While there are many things that I had hoped to accomplish by now (see my previous resolutions posts), there are many things that I did not expect to happen but I am glad that they have. From family and friends to work and lodge, my daily life is nothing like it was at this time last year and I am grateful for every change, no matter how chaotic and overwhelming they may seem at times.

While this is a time when I try my best to look back at what has happened. This year, I can’t help but think about how things will be different this time next year. A new family and a new home. Another year as a Mason and another year doing what I love for ‘work’. All of these things I hope comprise my reality a year from now. But this is all part of the ‘new year’ and how we embrace the holiday. After all, this is Judaism 101:

In Hebrew, Rosh Hashanah means, literally, "head of the year" or "first of the year." Rosh Hashanah is commonly known as the Jewish New Year. This name is somewhat deceptive, because there is little similarity between Rosh Hashanah, one of the holiest days of the year, and the American midnight drinking bash and daytime football game.

There is, however, one important similarity between the Jewish New Year and the American one: Many Americans use the New Year as a time to plan a better life, making "resolutions." Likewise, the Jewish New Year is a time to begin introspection, looking back at the mistakes of the past year and planning the changes to make in the new year.

There have certainly been mistakes made over the past year but nothing I would change and not really anything that would cause me to change my outlook on the coming new year. While by no means perfect, the new year is something that I am eager to embrace and share with those I love. However, even though I can’t say I am looking forward to screams replacing the sounds of the shofar the next time autumn comes around, I am excited to share this holiday, this holy time of year, with a gift that only G-d can give. L’Shanah Tovah!

First Words

Tonight it was time to work on the monthly lodge notice. Not a new occurrence but for me it was a first. The notice that will be sent out to the brethren in the coming week will have a message from the new officers meaning that this is my first communication to the lodge as Secretary.

I wasn’t sure exactly how to go about it but once I set down and thought for a few minutes about what I was doing it was quite easy. What I found myself writing was a simple message of gratitude and of anticipation for the upcoming Masonic year. While I am still uncertain as to the ins and outs of my new position one thing I already know how to do is to be forthright in my words and honest in my message. After all, that is really all we can ask of one another and that is exactly how I will treat each and every brother regardless of office, age, or involvement.

While not the entire message, here are my first thoughts as expressed in the current notice to the Brethren:

As we welcome a new year I am humbled by the trust you have placed in me to serve you and the lodge in the coming Masonic year. Thank you for granting me the privilege to serve. I look forward to working with and for all of you in the coming year and supporting the Worshipful Master, the officers, the trustees, and all of my fellow brethren to make this coming year both memorable and one for which we can all be proud… I wish you a happy and health holiday season and a new year full of Masonic light!

This pretty much sums up my plans for the upcoming year. While there are many things that need to be worked on and many ideas floating around in my head, the basic sentiment remains the same across the board. My job is to be a resource to the lodge and to my brothers and that is exactly what I hope to be. While I may never be the most knowledgeable and I am certainly not always going to have the best ideas, I am going to do everything in my power to improve the lodge and provide an experience for my fellow brothers that will leave them wanting to do more, contribute more, and participate fully in this fraternity for which I have a growing passion.

My first words will not be my last and the hope that I have for my fellow Masons and for the loge will forever grow brighter. I am heading into this part of my journey knowing that this path is not a temporary sojourn but one that I will traverse with all the fortitude that I can muster. While some may view my pending task(s) with trepidation, I am looking forward to the challenge and the opportunities for growth that have been laid before me. This is indeed a long trek and one that I begin with great anticipation.

Sensing the Season

It has felt like fall for a couple of weeks now. There were also a couple of crisp days before then but the consistency only just started to take hold. This may be my favorite time of year but the temperature is only half of the equation.

Today was the first day that I was really able to enjoy the season. Not because of the official announcement yesterday that the season had changed but because of the fact that today was the first time that it started to envelope all of my senses not just one. The sights, sounds, and smells are beginning to fill the air.

I enjoy the crunch under my feet of the freshly fallen leaves; the first line to fold in the seasonal change. While some may view the suicidal foliage in a way that foretells of the bitter cold just a few short months away I prefer to enjoy the moment that we are living in now. The year is too short to always be looking toward the darkness of winter; seasons are meant to be enjoyed.

Those same leaves give off the aroma unique to this time of year and one that is really hard to explain. Soon it will be joined by the comforting scents of the fall harvest and freshly carved pumpkins before the cold takes hold and mutes the olfactory experience. There is a lightness to the air that with a cool dry breeze the season wraps around you the smells of the season.

Looking up, just outside our apartment door, the edges of the leaves are beginning to burn with the autumn palate. Each leaf is unique in their chameleon change but all adding the overall collage of colors while retaining the memory of the summer arbor just beneath the branches. Soon the horizon will be filled with the fire of fall for all but a fleeting moment that will, undoubtedly, leave us wanting more.

This is a season of beauty and of change. While the departed summer is a time to relax for many this is the time of year that lets be slow down a bit from time to time just to enjoy the world around me. It is the time when we can’t help but be amazed by the world around us and we pursue new adventures and endeavors simply to partake in as much of the season as we can before the slumbering season takes hold of us and the calendar flips over to a new year.

This is the time of year to start something new and to emblazon our memories with new experiences like the flamboyant foliage around us etches their transition in our minds. This is the time that the slowly descending temperature brings us together and holds us to the warmth of family and friends. This is the season to share with the ones you love and to embody the passion that is portrayed in the trees around us. This is, by far, my favorite season.

Early Is One Thing, But This Is Ridiculous!

...In the seventh month, on the first of the month, there shall be a sabbath for you, a remembrance with shofar blasts, a holy convocation. -Leviticus 16:24

The Symbols of Rosh Hashanah

It didn’t occur to me until this morning that some of the blogs that I have posted recently, especially yesterday, have served as my way of preparing for Rosh Hashanah (which is showing up this year earlier than a needy party guest looking for attention). Whether it is my own subconscious or divine guidance, I feel that I am in a much calmer mindset heading into the High Holy Days than I have been in the past largely because of the writing I have done lately. I like to think that it is G-d’s way of looking after me and showing His approval for many of the decisions that I have made this past year.

It has been a year of many changes, opportunities, and challenges. While I can’t say that I am happy with where I am, I am content with who I am. It has been a long time since I have had that feeling and while I will look to improve various aspects of my life (you may recall my half year resolutions) I at least know that I am starting off from a good place.

It has been a year of great memories and moments that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. From the trips my wife and I have taken and witnessing the life changing events in my family to reigniting my passion for writing and forging a bond with my community and with my heritage. There have also been moments of sadness that while difficult to experience they have brought me to this point in my life.

Introspection is at the heart of this holiday. Not just remembering the events of the past year but also thinking about the ways that G-d has shown Himself during those times and the gifts that we have been given. It is a time to make changes, much like the resolutions made in the changing of the Gregorian calendar, and think about the ways things might have been handled differently. It is a time to embrace life and let go of past wrongdoings. It is a time to come to terms with yourself and your Creator.

If you put forth the effort, this is a beautiful time of year. This is a holiday that removes some of the burdens of life, lifts you up, and kindles the flame that brightens your future. So before the silence is broken by the sound of the Shofar, take a step back and reflect upon your life, appreciate what you have, and forget about what you don’t need.

L'shanah tovah tikatev v'taihatem!

(May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year!)

For more information about Rosh Hashanah, please visit the Judaism 101 and/or Chabad.org websites (of course, you can get some really good information from your local synagogue(s) too). 

If you are looking for a way to give back during this time of year I recommend making a donation (tzedakah) to the Jewish National Fund and/or to the Lone Soldiers Program run by the Friends of the Israel Defense Forces. Of course, Nefesh B'Nefesh is a good one too. With all the recent turbulence in the region both organizations need help now more than ever.

The Last Trip Through The Lobby

Working the graveyard shift is one that generally doesn’t bother me. I'ts quiet and I can get a decent amount of work done on the computer in the middle of the night. It has sapped some of my sleep but I am still able to get most of what I need to get done during the day so long as nothing pops up. It is a bit of a bother but nothing that can’t be overcome.

Sleep is something that can be made up, I certainly have on many of my days off, and after a couple of good night’s sleep the tiredness is soon forgotten. However, there is one thing that I can’t fully forget and, given the demographics of our building, something that I am most likely to see again. I can’t seem to get the last trips that some residents take through the lobby in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, during a particularly unpleasant period over the first four months of the year I watched as this happened three times. Each time I said good bye without the expectation of a response. One of the residents I knew well while the others I only knew by name. Either way, it is something that is very difficult to witness and something that lingers with you during the overnight hours when you know there are people up stairs that are in worse shape than those who have passed.

These departures were so regular that it had gotten to the point that I recognized the medic that worked the same shift that I did whose job it was to check vitals and confirm time of death. About 30-40 minutes after this unpleasant declaration, the funeral home would arrive, recognize me behind the front desk, and head over to the elevator. The next time I would see them was when the elevator came back down, the doors opened, and they accompanied the resident through their last trip across the lobby.  

What might have been more difficult than that period of time was that in the months prior to the changing of the calendar I was asked to check on a resident who wasn’t doing well but still insisted on living alone. Each night, I would head up to his floor, open the unlocked door, and quietly walk down the hall and peek around the corner to make sure he was breathing. Every time I walked through the threshold I was terrified by what I might find. It wasn’t so much the fact that I might find that the resident had passed peacefully in his sleep and was no longer in pain it was more that I didn’t want to have to cause his children pain by informing them of his departure.

A couple months into the New Year, he also made his final journey through the lobby. A stark contrast to the man I met shortly after my wife and I moved into the building whose personality was barely contained by the concrete walls. That night in particular is the one that I will never forget.

During the night, when nothing is supposed to happen, it is these moments that are the most difficult but also the ones that motivate me to continue pushing forward. They also make me a more pleasant and tolerant person as I still say good morning and good night to everyone that passes through on my shift no matter what their response, or lack thereof, is going to be. But, more importantly, it motivates me because I dread the night that I witness this again and, I admit a little selfishly, I don’t want to be there when it happens.