TMI Tuesday: Baby Babble And Toddler Talk

Over the last month our son has been stringing together words faster than we can really keep track. In between those clear and unclear words is usually a string of babble that is definitely supposed to mean something but that we are unable to understand. It is at this point when our son can get frustrated when we don’t hand him the right thing or react the way that he expects. This is usually when he becomes more insistent with both his babble and his gestures as if to ask “Why don’t you understand what I’m saying?”

However, there are the moments when we are able to put together the “words” and gestures offering our son the responses that he expects. Not only is it a nearly indescribable feeling knowing that we are able to communicate but we can tell by his reaction that he is both relieved and excited that we are understanding what he is saying. It is really cute how proud and happy that he gets when we have our brief conversations.

It is amazing to think about how much has changed in this regard as it was only a few weeks ago when his limited vocabulary prevented us from putting the pieces together. Now, with a constantly expanding collection of words, it is becoming easier and easier to understand what he is trying to say. It is actually quite interesting as we have to be careful with what we say because you never know what word will take hold in his ears and play back when we least expect it. This has almost gotten us into trouble a few times.

While he is slowly picking up words and figuring out how to pronounce them, the amazing part of this whole thing is that he comprehends much more than he can currently convey. This has been the case for months as he always seems to understand what we are saying and what is being said around him in general. Now he is picking things up and repeating them with more and more confidence and clarity… this week is a world away from last week and last week was a completely different dimension from the week prior.  

I am curious to hear how things progress but one thing is for sure, he enjoys talking, he enjoys babbling, but, most importantly, he likes being heard and understood. Slowly but surely we are communicating more concisely and we are both doing so with huge smiles on our faces. A smile that seems to say “thank you for understanding me daddy. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time.” Me too my baby boy, me too.

Customer Service To Remember

Whenever I have to buy something or even get a quote, I always pay close attention to the service being offered. While I do purchase many products online, the buying experience is still an important one to me which is why, when I receive excellent customer service (and a great price) I always do my best to pay it forward. I have had some atrocious experiences with various companies and at a myriad of stores and dealerships over the years but I have also had some excellent transactions which have made the experience much more pleasant. In those instances, I also make sure to seek that sales person out when returning to the store.

My recent car ordeal was a perfect example of this as I experienced the range of interactions between the various dealerships. Once my brother’s dealership was ruled out (they don’t sell the car that I settled on), I proceeded to stop by a variety of Mercedes dealers to both talk with a sales person and see what price they could offer. My first stop was to Tom Masano in Reading where the sales woman with whom I spoke was excellent and they offered a great price. The second stop was to Mercedes-Benz of Fort Washington where they were less than welcoming and brushed me off not even bothering to follow up with a reasonable offer. The third was to Euro Motorcars of Devon where I received the same excellent experience that I had in Reading and they came back with a better price. Deal done.

More recently, I have experienced the same variety of satisfaction when getting quotes for the initial projects that we wanted to get done around the house. Some of the contractors listened to exactly what I wanted, others just went about designing something that didn’t make much sense at all. Some prices were really high and others were lower than I was expecting. However, while price was an important factor, it was the interaction that I had with each of the companies that really made the difference as some were clearly looking at the task with dollar signs in mind while others, one in particular, took the time to make sure it was the solution that made the most sense and that would be done right.

Even with regard to our banking, the way that we are treated makes a huge difference. While the hours and locations are convenient, TD Bank has continued to offer one of the worst customer experiences that I have ever encountered with a financial institution. We have already switched our primary banking and now we will be transitioning our secondary banking in the near future as these other institutions are actually pleasant to deal with on a regular basis and haven’t hampered us with ridiculous charges.

Of course, there are the basic retail sales associates that I know by name that have made many transactions much more pleasant in recent years like Dave at Raymour & Flanigan, Frank at Coins & Currency of Wayne, my cousin when I need clothes, many employees at the local Lowe’s, the entire staff at Tanner’s Sports Center, and many other people at various local businesses. Additionally, the customer support teams at Amazon and Sportsman’s Guide have been excellent as of late. Great people that continue to make things just a little easier.

Too Many Departures

While nothing has been as difficult as the loss that we experienced early last year, there have been moments since then that have forced me to stop for a minute and think about the people that have been a part of my life, large and small, over the years. I found myself going through this process once again when I received an email about the passing of a fellow Rotarian’s wife. Oddly enough, I had just seen him last week and, by the end of the meeting, wondered why I hadn’t asked how his family was doing as I normally would have. I guess even these seemingly inconsequential lapses happen for a reason.

I recall meeting his wife a couple of times in the past at Rotary functions and I recall having some very interesting discussions with her on a variety of subject. It was safe to say that there were a number of topics that we didn’t agree on but I remember having a pleasant conversation during which it was abundantly clear that I was discussing these subjects with a highly intelligent and informed woman. I guess you could say that she and her husband were very similar in that regard.

This loss is only one of many that has happened over the past year or so from those that I remember fondly seeing nearly every day in high school as was the case with the passing of my homeroom teacher and other times there are people that I had either met only a few times or that I had only corresponded with through letters, emails, or over the phone. Each time I was brought back to those discussions and encounters leaving me wondering why I hadn’t picked up the phone or wrote them a letter lately. I guess it is normal to think about the conversations you never had rather than the ones you did.

Of course, then there are the family members who have passed before I had a chance to talk to them or even really got to know them. Admittedly, there is a little selfishness in this thought but it also speaks to the unexpected, and potential, impact of those who have passed. While this has unfortunately been happening for years, it is a regular occurrence even today. However, the same lesson applies here as well… I need to do a better job of keeping in touch and reaching out to friends and family members. After all, as has been proven time and again, you never know how long you really have.

No Shoe For You!

The last couple of years we have been able to round up the brothers and converge en masse in Conshohocken to take the shoe for the remainder of the year. It seems as though, like many things, time has gotten away from me a bit and the reminders weren’t as frequent as they have been in the past. This was clearly an issue last night as our turnout to the last official district visitation of the year wasn’t nearly what it had been during our previous efforts. Because of this we all got in our cars knowing that another lodge would be holding the shoe until the calendar changes.

However, while we may not have walked away with the shoe, it was a great night when I was able to reconnect with some brothers I had not seen since this same meeting last year while others I was meeting for the first time… at least I think it was the first time. It was during these moments of re-acquaintance that some of the best conversations of the evening took place and I was able to find many more commonalities with a few of my brothers which I had not realized previously. Of course, as usual, there were also moments when I realized more clearly just how much more I have yet to experience in the fraternity.

The meeting itself is always a little odd for me as I am used to sitting in the east for the duration and actively playing a role in all meetings. Sitting on the sidelines for the entire meeting is something that I am simply not used to doing. I can’t tell you how many times that I nearly stood up when I heard only two raps from the gavel. That being said, there were things that I was able to observe from this perspective as I watched another secretary take charge. There were some things that I didn’t prefer while there were other items that I will certainly incorporate moving forward.

However, there was a singular moment that caught me completely off guard. As the names of those brothers that were suspended was read to those in attendance, my mind stuttered a little when I heard a brother who shares my family name was no longer in good standing. I guess this year my work will have to go beyond my lodge and I need to improve my communication not just with the brethren but within my own family as well. After all, no matter you endeavor, which is how we learn and that is how we band together both as brothers and as a family, separately and together.

Fortunately And Unfortunately

Heading to the lodge this week I had a clear cut set of objectives that I needed to address with a number of the brothers who would be in attendance. There have been a few item that have come up over the last week that needed to be worked on immediately and a number of scheduling matters that had to be taken care of so nothing was overlooked heading into the summer. With these projects in place and the responsibilities coordinated, it would afford me the time to take care of a few other tasks so that we could have a clean slate after the stated meeting.

After sitting in an inordinate amount of traffic on my way down and saying goodnight to my son over the phone, I arrived at the lodge with a number of brothers already gathered around one of the dining tables taking care of business. Certainly a welcomed sight knowing all that needed to get done. While I did arrive a touch later than usual, by the time I set my bag down the necessary conversations had already begun. As soon as I sat at the table, I pulled out my laptop and we got to work.

Fortunately and unfortunately, some of the recent difficulties that we have faced earlier in the year have actually put us in a great position to fulfill some of the recent requests made of us by Grand Lodge. This is also why the work that we accomplished last night was quick and highly efficient. There are a few things that still need to be collected but we will certainly be able to submit all the necessary paperwork well before the 45 day deadline. It was actually rather surprised as well as appreciative and impressed by the organization demonstrated by the Trustees of the lodge. Everything was ready to go and transferred to me within minutes.

I had expected this first meeting to be much more drawn out than it was so all the other tasks for the night were handled in a much more casual and also thorough manner allowing me to check and double check regarding a variety of ongoing and new projects. By the time we locked the doors and headed back out to the parking lot I was feeling good about the upcoming meeting and looking forward to the long break over the summer. Hopefully, meetings like the ones I had tonight become more of the norm rather than the exception to the rule which has been the case in previous years.

Family First

I left the office with plenty of time to get to the lodge and meet with a few of the brothers before the meeting. This is nothing out of the normal except this time I knew when I got in the car that I wasn’t going to be able to stay for long. Because of some other unavoidable occurrence the only thing that I had time for on Thursday night was to check the mail and hand everything off to my assistant for the night. It is an odd feeling every time that I have had to do this and especially since this is the first time that I would be missing multiple meetings in a single year. However, in the end, the brethren understand that family has to come first.

It is during these moments, above all others, that I am glad that I have an assistant that I can count on to take over and whom I trust with the various duties during the meeting. Each time that I have had to leave early for personal reasons I was able to hand everything off, run through the agenda, and get out the door to see to other obligations. At no time have I wondered if something was taken care of in my absences. The past couple of years in particular, knowing that I can count on this brother for the information that I need has been an invaluable resource and I greatly appreciate the assistance of my former mentee.

With that said, I have made it a point to follow up the following day to see what I missed and if there were any action items that I needed to address. More accurately, see what action items I needed to address. Each time that I have made that call I was given a clear rundown of what was accomplished the night before and what I can expect in the weeks to follow. This makes the following meeting that much easier.

I hate missing any night at the lodge but especially a stated meeting. But, as I stated above and as we all hold close to our hearts, family must come first and I have never received any push back for having to miss a meeting for this reason. And each time that I have made the decision to forego the evening gathering, especially this past meeting, I have been glad that I made the right decision. The brethren rely on me to assistance here and there for the tasks that fall under my purview and occasionally for general council but my family needs me during difficult times.

Maintaining The Brotherly Bonds

There is currently a vibrancy at the lodge that I haven’t seen for some time. I have been fielding emails and calls for weeks wanting more information about different programs, dates of when events are scheduled, offers to assist me with some of the initiatives underway, and some are just interested in meeting and learning more about the fraternity. Many of the brothers at the lodge are either active or looking for some way to increase their contributions. I can’t recall a time like this happening over the past few years but I am glad to be a part of it and fortunate enough to see the desire to contribute displayed by the brethren. And I have found that one of the best ways for those brothers to actively participate is to reach out to other brothers.

It is a given that this time of year will bring about names of those which we haven’t seen at lodge in months or years (NPD time) but that tally keeps getting smaller and smaller every time I check the mail and for every brother I find on that list, there are ten brothers willing to reach out to find out what is going on. And that is a big change from the last couple of years. Now we have brothers wanting to be active and wanting to share this masonic experience with other brothers that may have, for one reason or another, lost their connection with the fraternity.

This is a hugely important endeavor for any lodge as we should make sure that all of our brothers should experience the feeling of inclusion that many of us take away from our monthly and weekly gatherings. Furthermore, the effort should also be put forth in reconnecting with brothers that, for one reason or another, have been suspended in recent years. While there are explanations given at the time of suspension, we should never assume that we know the reasons behind our brother ceasing to be included in the membership rolls.

Lastly, and most importantly, we need to maintain constant contact will each and every member of the lodge. This is an undertaking too large for one brother to manage himself but, as a lodge, it can easy be accomplished. Whether a brother moved out of the jurisdiction or is simply of advanced age, they are still our brothers and members of the lodge, and they should be treated as such. The last thing that I ever want to see happen is a brother showing up to lodge and not know anyone. While I don’t expect them to have the same connection that many of the regular attendees enjoy, they are still our brother and they should be familiar as a member of our fraternal family.

Mortgage Monday: A Means To Reconnect

There has been an unexpected benefit to moving into our own house that we have enjoyed over the past several months. Since the day the movers unpacked our furniture and belongings at our new address, we have been able to get together with a number of people with whom we have lost contact over the last couple of years. With all that has transpired we, for lack of a better term, closed ranks for a while just trying to get through some of the tougher moments that we have encountered. Since moving we have been able to open up and reconnect with a myriad of people that have been nothing but supportive and understanding of all that has gone on.

Recently, we were able to invite our Rabbi and his wife to our new home for lunch. I personally owe this man a lot for helping me become who I am today most notably in serving as my mentor during my conversion. My wife and I owe them both a great deal for providing us with the support and guidance over the years specifically during a rather interesting Aliyah experience. We were lucky to have them close by when we were living in Israel and were able to meet with them on several occasions to help us with our difficult decision to return.

As I mentioned previously, this has also been the impetus, or at least one of the contributing factors, in motivating us to restart our family newsletter. It is reassuring to know that in future years these annual reports will always be coming from our home… there is no longer the question of from where the newsletter will be sent. And we no longer have to include a section about moving. By the way, after a few unexpected delays, they are finally in the mail!

Most importantly, over the past few months, our home has been a means to reconnect with people. As I have admitted before, I am not the best person at keeping in touch with others. This has proven to be a great way to restart long dormant conversations and a means to discuss updates with friends and find out what they have been up to. Of course, now the goal is to keep myself from reverting back into old habits and putting forth the effort, and finding the time, to have substantive conversations with friends and family that I truly enjoy talking to and with which I continue to have great conversations.  

Monthly Delays

I think it got stuck!

There is always a little carry over at the lodge from the previous year. Sometimes it is as simple as some events that have postponed or votes that have been delayed from the previous leadership. Of course, there are those other moments when a complete review is need of everything that transpired over the previous twelve months. That is the situation that I find myself in now but, thankfully, this is also why I make sure to keep overly detailed notes and basically records of anything that crossed my desk.

While the last stated meeting went smoothly and we closed the lodge at a completely reasonable time, the conversations that took place after the meeting came to an end filled the remainder of the night. Long after all the other brethren departed and were on their way home, a few of us slowly made our way down the stairs, shut off the lights, and headed out to our cars. Just one of those nights that happens every once in a while.

And that is where the work only really just begins. Now is the time when a couple of us have to make the calls, send the emails, and twist some arms to get all the information that we need to ensure that our records of the previous year are complete. There isn’t really an issue it is simply a matter of collection… there are many things that just need to be brought back to the lodge and filed. Heck, there are some records that I keep at home because it is more convenient given the times when I am able to get work done between meetings.

This was just one part of the delay for the evening. The other part comes down to the fact that I enjoy discussing ideas and plans with the brothers from the lodge. More often than not, this is what adds that extra 20-30 minutes to the end of the evening. While it has been less prevalent lately with the schedule that I need to maintain, it still happens every once in a while and can actually be a quite productive part of the night. These walking brainstorm sessions in the parking lot have produced numerous viable and useful plans and projects during the year.

Sometimes I kind of wish that the work would stop when I leave the lodge or at least get into my car but, at the same time, I enjoy the moments here and there outside of the lodge when progress is made or ideas are turned into reality. However, on the other side of this are the moments when I have to hunt down brothers through every means of communication available to take care of things that should have been wrapped up by the time we replaced the calendar on the wall. Either way, the work never ends at the doors of the lodge and, overall, I am okay with that… for now.

TMI Tuesday: I Want To Talk To Daddy NOW!

Part of my daily routine is calling my wife while on my way home after work. I have done this for a while and in the past it wasn’t as regular as it has become over the past year. Of course, now my wife and I have little say as to whether my phone is going to ring while I am getting on the highway.

Every day, so I have been told, when my wife picks our son up from work he babbles in the back seat saying “da da” over and over again as if it has become his infant mantra. This usually continues for much of the afternoon (and sometimes into the night) until he finally gets to the point when he reaches for my wife’s phone, says “da da”, and waves. He may only be ten months old but he has no issues getting his message across… I want to talk to dada now!

This is pretty much the same routine regardless of whether he is having a good day or a bad day and sometimes, for some reason, hearing my voice on the phone is one of the few things that will calm him down. However, consider yourself warned, if he is expecting to talk to daddy and you decide to call, he will not readily accept this and will be rather vocal about his displeasure. I am told that it is an interesting site to behold when the voice on the other end of the line is not that of his daddy… basically, imagine being cursed out in baby babble.

Of course, I am of two minds when I think about this routine that we have and the close relationship that I have been able to build with our son. While he knows my voice and he looks forward to seeing me every night, I am usually only able to spend anywhere between 30 and 60 minutes with him per day. And that is if I don’t have anything going on that night. This is why I am happy to have the relationship that we do but, at the same time, I don’t like the fact that I see him for such a small amount of time.

It’s almost as if I can hear Harry Chapin warming up back stage letting me know that I am walking a fine line. He is ready to go and can start singing at any time if I screw up. That is the last thing that I want to happen and why when I am home I give my son as much attention as I am able, play with him, and tell him I love him whenever I am given the chance. It may not be ideal but, so far, it is seems to maintain the strength of our connection.

Sunday Search: Keeping In Touch

It's never too early to start coloring in the family tree!

After the reunion in July, I was determined to improve my communication with family members both nearby and far away. After all, there is only so much that I can do with regard to genealogy and it is always best to be in communication with numerous family members trying to fill in the different pieces rather than all of use trying to find all of the answers on our own. Additionally, we all have access to different documents, photos, and stories that we should be sharing with one another. That might have been the biggest takeaway from the weekend, there is so much that we all possess and it would be nice for us all to have access to those pieces of the picture and leaves of the tree.

While in the past this would have been a more exaggerated process full of letters and a lot of postage. That isn’t the reality in which we live today. While there are some that still require the letters, phone calls, and face to face meetings, most can be accomplished through email and social media (I will write about genealogy specific online tools in a future post). Thankfully, there has already been a group formed on Facebook to help facilitate those communications and I have been able to connect with those who were in attendance as well as those who were unable to make it over the past couple of months.

Sometimes it is also these simple things that get other family members interest in family history. I have been able to connect with many family members, some of whom to which I have not previously spoken, based on the simple fact that they want to learn more about the family. In other instances, different stories have been shared… some I have heard before while others are completely new to me. I doubt that the correspondences would have come as easily through any other means other than Facebook or email.

Of course, there are a lot more stories that have yet to be told and information that hasn’t as of yet been shared but the lines of communication are open and I am looking forward to collecting and sharing these new tidbits with the rest of the family. Additionally, there is an open invitation to family members (and other with stories they would like to share) to write a post to be included on this blog (the author will receive full credit). So, the reunion turned out to last much longer than the two days in Virginia, and I expect it to continue until we are able to get together again five years from now… we should have a much more colorful and complete tree by then.

Lodge Via Email

This is actually pretty similar to what the lodge computer looks like. 

The past week has been a bit of a blur with countless emails having passed by my eyes. We may not have our next meeting until September but the work most certainly has continued. It actually might be the most emails that I have received in a single week between the canceled fellowship last Tuesday to my inability to attend this evening. With not being able to make it there tonight, this means that, due to other commitments, I will not walk through the doors of the lodge for at least another two weeks.

No worries, everyone knows that I am accessible at all times. Sometimes there are periods when we can’t make it to the lodge especially those of us that neither live nor work in the area. Things will continue to move forward without my presence because the lodge, as many of you know, can’t be run by a single man. There are numerous brothers that make the lodge work and ensure that things move along smoothly. No one person needs to be there.

With that said, it is nice to be able to catch up and make sure that various projects are being taken care of. We all check with one another and make sure that the tasks that we set out to accomplish are completed. This is why I get so many emails from within the lodge, the district, and from other lodges across the commonwealth. We all check in on one another, offer assistance, and seek advice on various problems and projects. We work together as a single, unified, fraternity.

However, nights like this I do miss driving down to the lodge and meeting with the brethren. The fellowship is something that I continue to look forward to each and every time that I am able to participate. This has only been amplified over the last couple of years with the increased involvement of new and old brothers alike. It is a great time at the lodge and a great time to catch up on life.

But everyone knows, no matter how active you are in the lodge, you have to have a balanced life. I am still working to find that balance between family, work, and the lodge. Modern communication does help in this regard but it is still far from perfect. I don’t think this is going to be taken off of my list of things that I need to work on in the foreseeable future. But, I will continue to measure my days and do my best to balance my hours.

Three City Friendship

Our old lunch spot half a block from the office in New York City. 

After not having seem one of my best friends in nearly four years we have now had the chance, however brief it may have been each time, to get together twice in the mast couple of months. This time I was able to introduce him (and his welcoming parents) to our son who actually has the same name. It is still a little odd considering that we used to see one another nearly every day when we both worked for the same PR agency in Manhattan years ago. After having made the time on a business trip to Chicago in late March, he was in the Philadelphia area for a wedding this past weekend.

Since those days of long lunch breaks (mostly at Ben’s on 38^th Street) and lengthy conversations after work while we walked to the train there have been a lot of changes that have happened in each of our lives. And I’m not just talking about geography. It is really interesting to think about how our perspectives have shifted since then and the experiences that we have both had that have brought each of us to this point in our lives.

While my wife and I have moved around quite a bit finally settling back in the area where we grew up, my friend has done the opposite by moving away from family and now enjoying a successful career in the middle of the country. Since the day that we first met at the office we have each gotten married (and were groomsmen at each other’s wedding) with my wife and I taking the next step by starting a family and my friend finally breaking free from a wife that, to put it nicely, epitomized the greed and self-centeredness that seems to becoming more pervasive in the younger generations. While completely different journeys we are both happy with where we are now and what seems to be just beyond the horizon.

Even with everything going on, good times and bad, we have always remained in contact and did our best to keep things in perspective for one another. I can’t stress enough the importance of having a friend that offer this when you need it. We have each had some great times and some difficult times of the years and it has been nice getting together lately to talk about the positive changes that have happened and the optimism that is now part of our daily routines. Even when we shared a common company this was not always the case.

Hopefully, the visits will become less sporadic in the future as we continue to enjoy life and the different paths we chose to take. If anything, it is interesting to hear about the different turns and detours that life can take us on. Regardless, we will be certain to talk on a regular basis (not always a guarantee with me as many of you know) and keep one another up to date as to the great changes and experiences that come our way.

TMI Tuesday: Feed Me!

Every once in a while our son can be rather fussy. During those moments he can cry for a myriad of reasons but usually it revolves around food. Sometimes he is hungry while other times he is just tired. He is an odd little monkey.

Watching my wife feed our child is something beautiful to see. Those of you who have children know what I am talking about. However, there are some moments of humor during those moments that don’t take away from the experience they just add some color to the process. This is even more pronounced when someone other than his mom tries to feed him.

Regardless of who is feeding him the expressions on his face are an interesting study. I’m sure he would fit right in at the Actor’s Studio. Sometimes it can be a subtle smirk while other times it is a slight crinkle as he shifts and stretches. And, of course, there are the red faced moments when you know that an eruption is about to happen.

That is the other part… the sound effects. There is a certain amount of squeaking, grunting, and occasional burping that takes place (usually while his arms and/or legs are going) which is to be expected. There are also the time when he decides to try and communicate by stringing together those grunts and squeaks while gesturing. And, let’s not forget the aforementioned explosions that add a certain punctuation to the process. Let’s just say that our child is rather advanced in this area.

When someone else besides his mom tries to feed him there are a few other things that happen. First, he will give you the look of “what the heck are you doing?” This is followed by a quick look around for his mommy and sometimes a squint and split second cry just before the bottle is put in his mouth. Sometimes he fights the feeding while other times his hunger just takes over. But once he starts, it is pretty much the same regardless of who is feeding him at this point. However, he does seem to enjoy seeing the reaction on faces when he blasts one… mommy has gotten pretty used to it after all.

So the feeding time with baby can be interesting but mostly it is entertaining. This is especially true when he give you a surprised look of “that came out of me?” after he lets go of a good burp or fart. That is probably a look that I will always remember. Funny how the more “interesting” moments and expressions stick with you.

Reconnecting In A New Way

It has been a bit crazy lately with everything that has been going on. If you look back at the most recent crop of posts you can easily figure out why. Adding to all of this is the fact that I am hearing from people on Facebook that I haven’t had conversations with in quite some time. If it happened at any other point it would seem odd but the simple fact of the matter is that as soon as you post the first picture of your new baby (which we keep to a minimum) people come out of the woodwork.

This influx of communications has been great. It has been the perfect excuse to restart conversations and see how people are doing. As many people, family and friends, can attest I am not the greatest when it comes to staying in touch. I am rather sporadic in reaching out to people as there is usually one thing or another that comes up and steals my attention. I am not nearly as bad as I used to be but I am by no means where I would like to be. This is proving to be a tremendous opportunity to fix that at least a little bit.

Social media has always been an issue for me as it is part of my daily work routine so by the time I get out of the office I am kind of done with it. As has been evident, much of my usage of Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter has been largely one way rather than the dialogue that it is meant to be. This is why I included the screen shot at the top of this post. This is what social media is supposed to do… it is an alternative means of communication.

With that said, it is still difficult to combine the work and personal and social media is one of those places where I still see it as work. Maybe it is for this reason, or the fact that I am still a traditionalist, that I prefer talking to someone on the phone or writing a letter (an actual letter not email). Those are the places where I can disconnect from work even though I still use each of them during the course of the day.

Social media is where I still have the issue of being able to disconnect but the recent discussions I have had have gone a long way to alleviate that issue. In the end, don’t be surprised if I am not as responsive as most people on social media… I spend too much time on it getting work done for clients and by the end of the day I tend to ignore those sites. Plus, I have seen the good and bad sides of these social sites and I tend to limit much of what I put on there (believe it or not). This is now particularly true as it pertains to my son. However, if you want to catch up and/or talk about the baby feel free to give me a call, write a letter, or send an email.

Did You Get My Emails?

Blackberry included. Order yours today!

Every once in a while I will run into issues with my work and lodge email accounts. It happens to everyone. Most of the time it is a quick fix or I am able to step away from the screen for a few minutes while the computer reboots. This is the simplest solution and usually it works. However, there have been times when I have lost access for a day or two (usually on the antiquated lodge system) which is frustrating but there are ways to work around it as I have most of the contacts loaded into my personal email and so I am able to maintain productivity even without direct access. So long as I CC the main account, I don’t have any problems keeping accurate records.

While I can’t say for certain, this seems to be the generally accepted practice in the business world. It might even be acceptable at government agencies but, again, I can’t say for certain. This is what has made the recent news from the former Secretary of State so baffling. Every person that I know in the corporate world would have been fired for using their personal email without backing it up to the company server/email. It is simply a matter of accountability and maintaining an accurate record of all communications/records. Heck, there is even an entire legal subset of specialists focusing on e-discovery for just this reason. A former client, Evidox, comes to mind in this instance.

Maintaining an accurate communications record is what allows a company, or in this instance a government department, to ensure transparency. That idea sounds familiar doesn’t it? While the President may not have noticed the odd address, hdr22@clintonemail.com, and found out about this whole debacle “like the rest of us: through news reports this past week” it still calls into question the bar that has been set in this administration. And this hasn’t been the first time that the concept of transparency has been questioned.

While it may not have solved the problem or answered all the questions, turning over the entirety of her email archive would have at least been a step in the right direction. After all, as was reported in The Christian Science Monitor, “Once the controversy became known, Clinton tweeted: “I want the public to see my email. I asked State to release them. They said they will review them for release as soon as possible.””

However, this is not going to be the case as the records are incomplete to say the least as emails have been deleted and physical prints provided rather than electronic copies making the search-ability of the existing correspondences cumbersome and laborious at best. From the same article:  

The problem is, that review could take weeks or months. Those e-mails total 55,000 pages, and as Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post wrote the other day, “Those are the e-mails that Clintonworld decided should be turned over…. not exactly the classic definition of transparency.”

So now we wait to see what is there and what no longer exists in the records provided… I’m pretty sure she deleted the limited emails from her husband (now his would be an interesting account to look at). I guess we will never know all the details of her workout routines, whether or not she is secret pen pals with Monica Lewinsky, if she really approved of her daughter’s groom, or if she originally thought that Benghazi was a Japanese art form rather than a giant situation best described as FUBAR. I’m pretty sure all of those emails are long gone.

Technology Can Only Go So Far!

My job which is by no means critical to the security of the country requires me to get information as quickly and efficiently as possible and disseminate that information in a like manner. The majority of the time email will not deliver the results in a satisfactory manner as it does not permit immediate follow up and the process of obtaining all the necessary information can string across multiple correspondences. Even when a dialog has taken place over multiple emails, a call is sometimes still required. By this time, actionable items have passed and deadlines are sometimes pushed back to those projects with remaining viability.

Picking up the phone can cut out much of the time and get me the answers and information I need to take immediate action on a given topic. However, whenever possible, in person meetings are by far the best means by which to get a complete picture on a subject in an efficient manner. Whenever I am given the opportunity to meet with someone, I always make the time. Quality information and program efficiency are two of the keys to a successful PR campaign. Really, they are the drivers in any high volume industry that requires immediate decisions and actions.

There are times when in person briefings, meetings, and information sessions are not possible but I do everything I can to avoid missing the opportunity. This is why the recent report released by the Government Accountability Institute, a conservative watchdog group, were a little mystifying. In that report they report that President Obama has had in-person intelligence briefings during only 42% of his days in office which is slightly lower than the figure reported in 2012. Previously, the White House has addressed the subject saying that the President “doesn’t feel the need to have a daily in-person briefing, but that he reads his intelligence briefing daily on his secure iPad and often sends emails with follow up questions.”

At the very least he should have taken someone from the intelligence community with him golfing. Even if those were his only meetings he might still be over 42%. Heck, he could even have them get some intelligence on how to play particular holes. That could be a win-win scenario.

While I don’t know the statistics from previous administrations it seems that any executive that conducts his intelligence briefings in such a way would be hard pressed to be an effective, well informed, and overall decisive leader. I can’t effectively do my job without having all of the information in my hands as soon as possible. The percentage seems a little too low especially given how many events that have occurred (that we know about) over the past six years. But, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe all those golf outings are just a rouse and the real briefings occur at the third bunker to the right of the 17^th hole at precisely 10:54am.

Measured Communication

Most work days I am on the phone, writing emails, and scanning the recent trade and general news sources constantly from the time I arrive to the time I depart the office. Occasionally, I will switch things up and work on something different but that seems to be a rare occurrence recently. However, there are moments when I am able to take a break, relax, and just have a casual moment.

In fact, those times just before a phone interview or when I am reaching out to a reporter/editor that I know particularly well are some of the best times of the day for me because we are able to talk, see how things are going, and today talk about any plans that they might have for the weekend. It is a glimpse into life rather than a constant focus on work. Heck, I am downright pleasant during those brief interludes.

Of course, there are certain days, like earlier this week, when I have to just keep to the business at hand. Not because of the long list of things to do that is hanging over my head, although that does have an impact, it is simply because there are certain days when I am not in a good mood. I might even be downright pissed on some days. Those days, while sometimes difficult, I have to work to remain positive. Obviously something had previously gone awry but I can’t let that come across to those with which I am corresponding.

The other part of those task oriented days and communications is the fact that I takes a considerable amount of effort to remain even keeled. Those are the days when I find myself exhausted when I shut down the computer and struggling to get just about anything done at night when I get home. It’s a simply fact that being negative and/or angry just takes too much effort. I know some people that are always negative regardless of the situation and I honestly don't know how they get out of bed every day.

While I am certain that weeks like this one will come and go and there will be times when my stress levels will gain force me to that angry and loud place, they are just moments in life and none of those inconveniences will last forever. After all, things could always be worse (the leak could have been above or bed) and there are much better things to focus our energy on and be positive about (our little, probably will become a big and hairy, baby). So I may have a few bad days here and there and different stresses may pop up now and again, I really can’t complain about much (but you have to give me some leeway on that).

Rocking The Boat In Crap Creek

I'm pretty sure that is not dirt that he is shoveling.

Well, another day and another cluster at our apartment building. Saturday was a wasted day as maintenance was in our apartment three times attempting to fix the leak leaving us behind on our errands and too tired to do much more on Sunday. After those unsuccessful attempts they agreed that a plumber needed to be brought in to address the problem… that was the plan until today when we were informed that they had entered our apartment without our permission to attempt to ‘fix’ the problem again. I am not sure as to whether they lied or management wouldn't approve the request; either way it is a huge load of crap. By the way, still no word from management about the situation nor an apology for previously ignoring my communications regarding our refrigerator.

On top of that mountain of crap we found out on Friday (luckily I read the notices posted in the mail room) that work will be done to repair the connection to the power grid beginning on Monday morning at 7:00 am. While the repair is necessary it should have never been required as the line was severed in the fall when they dug up the parking lot and lowered the new boiler into place. It wasn’t until a recent two day power outage that this became a priority. So what does this mean? Per the posted notice, residents that normally park in the garage under the building now have to park in the lot which is already at capacity. Translation: no parking spots available.

While we have rarely requested any maintenance work in the two and a half years since we moved in and we have not caused a stir in the building regarding little things that have come up here and there, this situation has put us over the edge. We are done with this building and we are done with playing nice and letting the little things go. So much so that I sent a letter to the management office and copied the president of the board. One of those correspondences when you summarize many of the issues that you have been letting go, the bag of crap if you will, all stemming from the most recent turd left at your door. Now, I post it here for all of you to enjoy (I removed the building name and all proper names).   

Dear Building Management,

On Friday evening I took note of the notice posted in the mail room regarding the repair work that will begin on Monday morning. While not required under House Rule 18, my wife and I would have appreciated a note placed in our door or in our box which was previously done as a courtesy prior to all major projects. This has previously been an effective means to keep us informed as we do not regularly enter and exit the building through the main lobby.

As I write this on Sunday afternoon all of the parking spaces in the lot are occupied. As I expect this to be the situation when I return home from the office tomorrow I am writing to inform you that if I, or my wife, are required to park in the shopping center across the street we will be holding the building personally liable for any damage, theft, or towing that may occur. Additionally, it is my hope that the building has received written permission from the shopping center to allow residents overnight (it remains unclear as to whether this has been received). Simply put, the parking arrangements outlined in the notice are unacceptable. Parking across the street will not work.

With regard to parking, there has been numerous issues that we have taken note of over the years and we have gone without bringing this to the attention of management or the board, until now. While most “contractors, workmen, and service persons” abide by House Rule 9.B.9 there have been numerous occasions when resident parking spaces have been occupied by service vehicles most notably in front of apartments A and B. I have yet to witness and rectification of these instances when they occur. This is in addition to the fact that, when my wife and I first signed our lease, we were given the verbal assurance that the parking spaces along the side of the building were reserved for the aforementioned apartments. While not outlined in the House Rules or our lease, it is disappointing when a verbal agreement is not honored.

There are a few residents that frequently use these spaces, the agreement of which they are certainly unaware, however that is not my concern with these individuals. What concerns me is that there are at least two apartments that park along the side of the building so that they can specifically use the emergency exit from the fire tower to enter and exit the building. In addition to this being detrimental to our own sleep as they discourteously slam the door behind them both late at night and early in the morning, they seem to be in violation of Lower Merion Fire Code (78-12.1, Section 5-2.1.5: “Locks, Latches, Alarms and Release Devices” and 78-26: Sections C.7 and D both pertaining to high-rise buildings).

Furthermore, additional consideration needs to be made regarding parking during large gatherings as we find ourselves in a similar situation that we are in now. This parking situation needs to be resolved (even three extra spaces like the ones occupied by the immobile vehicles near the dumpsters might offer some additional logistical leeway). There are more and more cars parking in the lot that are without a proper permit. For all visitors, parking tags or passes should be issued as well. As residents, it is our responsibility to have our permits displayed on our vehicle. All residents and employees should be issued permits, all others found in the parking lot that do not have a resident or employee permit, visitor pass, or are service personnel in the building should be towed!

Lastly, I would like to express my displeasure regarding the limited communication from the Management Office. When I recently attempted to contact management directly regarding an issue with our refrigerator I never received any communication back. I attempted to reach out through numerous means of communication (phone message, verbally through the front desk, and a note left at the front desk) as a courtesy before calling to have the service done but did not receive a single correspondence in return. While I don’t expect an immediate response, no response is simply unacceptable.

If you have any questions regarding the content above please feel free to contact me via phone or email. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Regards,

Sean

I am generally an easy going person. True I can let my passionate opinions shine now and again but, overall, I maintain a pretty even disposition. This stockpile of issues has recently ruined that for me and that fact alone has pissed me off. I guess we are just going to have to see how this thing plays out. All I know is that I am not going to just sit in my paddle less boat as the crap level in the creek continues to rise.

Returning To Rotary... For A Night

Ever since I began working ‘normal’ hours I haven’t been able to make it to a Rotary meeting especially at my home club which meets for lunch in the middle of the week. Logistically it just hasn’t worked out. Of course, there have been other activities that have kept me occupied but I have only been able to schedule so much before my wife gets that look in her eye. And, honestly, I can’t say I blame her. There is only so much I can do without burning out and I have to have time at home or else I will just start shutting down.

However, last night, for the first time in months, I was able to once again join my fellow Rotarians in Bala Cynwyd for a wonderful dinner and, as always, excellent discussion. On what would have been my induction night as President of the club, I sat at one of the four crowded tables in the back room of Aldar Bistro and watched as another Rotarian took office. It was interesting to think about what could have been but that moment was fleeting because, while I may not be involved in Rotary like I once was, there are a lot of other things that I enjoy in what I consider to be a great life.

Unexpectedly, the new president gave a bit of a hat tip to me as in the short time I was active in Rotary and at the club, I make what turned out to be a positive impact. As I have said before, sometimes work and life in general can get in the way of things like Rotary but what is really important is that we remain active in our desire to give back and do good work. After all, we each have the responsibility to bring light to the world because while one candle may only be able to make a pin point in the dark, if we each hold a candle we can turn night into day. Rotary is just one of the many places where you can old your candle high.

By the end of the evening there were many people I hadn’t caught up with, many to whom I was introduced, and most that I had a chance to talk with about the long time that had passed. While I doubt that there will be time in the near future when I will be able to attend another meeting, I look forward to the next gathering I will be able to attend and I am determined to do a better job in keeping the like of communication open with my old club. Regardless of what happens, I will never forget what my club and Rotary did for me during a difficult period, the welcoming receptions that I continue to receive whenever I am able to make it to a meeting, gathering, or event, and what it continues to do as it influences my daily life.