TMI Tuesday: Holding Back

Our son is one of those babies that enjoys being out of the house. He likes being in the car (for the most part), visiting new places, and being around most people. It is nice to see him be so outgoing and we try to get him out of the confines of our house and around other people as often as we can. The simple fact that our son is so outgoing made it just a little easier when we decided to put him in daycare.

Today was his first day and while his personality made it a little easier for him, it was still hard for my wife and me to leave him there for the day. He didn’t shed a single tear or really seem phased by this new environment as his curiosity had him looking around the room and searching for other babies with which to “talk”. It was kind of a surreal experience that left us wondering where the last six months had gone and how our son could already have gotten so big.

While we have left him in the care of family in the past to watch him, this was the first time that we parted ways and entrusted his safety to strangers. We had met them in the past but not for very long. However, we were familiar with the daycare and knew of others who have their kids there so we made the decision to ensure that he is able to socialize while my wife and I are at work. Of course, that didn’t keep us from wondering and worrying throughout the day and making a couple of calls to check in on him.

At the end of the day we were both able to pick him up (I spent the day home from work with a headache probably caused from stress and a lack of sleep). As soon as our son heard our voices we could see the smile overtake his adorable face. Again, no crying or fussing, he was just happy to see mommy and daddy again after spending a day with his new friends.

As soon as we left the building we knew that our son was holding back all day as the gas and poop flowed freely now that he was back home. I guess he already knows not to burp and fart in public. Having spent the day apart they were welcomed sounds as we held our son although I could still go without the smells. One day down and a new routine started.

TMI Tuesday: Guilty Grin

The highlight for me almost every morning is walking into our son’s bedroom, turning off the music, and welcoming him to a new day. Most of the time, no matter how much he is fussing, when he hears my voice and turns his head he gives me a wide smile and a light in his eyes that make the grogginess of the hour immediately disappear. It is a moment that I look forward to every single day and what allows me to begin the day anew no matter what the previous day had been like.

Of course, there are also the times when I am slightly taken aback when that smile turns quickly into a guilty grim piercing the emanation rising from his crib. Sometimes it is nothing more than air while other times it is a much more pungent and persistent odor that requires immediate attention. Sadly I must admit that he gets that smirk from his daddy as I know all too well what it means no matter if a toxic cloud is present or not.

This reaction has only become more entertaining as time has gone by and our son had continued to grow. Now the questions of “did you fart?” or “did you poop?” elicit that same complicit expression. It seems as though he already comprehends the humor that those bodily functions can bring to a situation (along with the stink). But those are not the only times that this this expression appears.

One thing that annoys my wife from time to time is the fact that our son seemingly saves some of his energy toward the end of the day so that he can play when daddy gets home. There have been several occasions when my wife would have a particularly rough day with our son not wanting to cooperate but when I open the door and he hears my voice, our son’s demeanor completely changes. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t like the fact that he reacts to me in that way but, at the same time, I can see how it can be a little annoying (to say the least) for my wife.

When I sit him on my lap and talk to him about it usually asking if he had been a good boy today, that same guilty grin appears. Except this time he usually drives it home with some cooing and baby gibberish. The force is definitely strong with this one as neither of us can really remain completely annoyed at that point with such effervescent cuteness… this is not the guilty baby you are looking for. At least when this guilt grin appears we don’t have to deal with the same fallout that fills the morning.

TMI Tuesday: At Least It Hasn’t Hit The Fan

Yellow is the new white. 

Ever since we brought our son home from the hospital he has been pretty consistent at not doing one thing in his sleep… pooping. Of course, while there hasn’t been any mess there has been a fairly large amount of auditory pollution but that is a topic that I have already covered. But the simple, and kind of amazing, fact is that our son learned early on that it is not comfortable to sleep in your own poo. With that said, he does not abide by a rather famous saying… he does crap where he eats.

The eruption usually occurs late in the morning or early in the afternoon. The one commonality is that it happens either during or immediately after he has his bottle. Until recently there was little doubt when this happened at the colonic alarm would usually sound. However, recently our son has employed the sniper crap… you don’t realize what has happened until it is too late.

Because of these sneak attacks, there have been many casualties along the way. It is common for our son, like many babies his age, to wear a multitude of outfits during the day. While we have gotten pretty used to this routine there are occasions when we just have to take a step back, take a deep breath (not through our noses), and proceed with the usual hazmat procedures. Pretty astounding considering he is already wearing size four diapers.

And it never fails that the worst of these atomic tests occur outside of the house. Sometimes in the car and other times while we are eating in a restaurant (among other locations). Always concluding with a mischievous smirk. The latest occurred while having lunch on Saturday before we headed out looking for a new car. It was bad… it was the first time that we had to really clean the car seat.

In the end, his development and early habits are different than we could have ever anticipated. He is so far beyond where we ever expected him to be and I am excited to see how fast he continues to pick things up. Hopefully, this is a foreshadowing for an easy potty training but I am really not counting on that one. Until then we will just have to continue our vigilance when we sit down at a restaurant and hope that wind doesn’t carry the fall out across the dining room.

TMI Tuesday: Blasting The Baby Monitor

When we first starting putting the baby registry together last year one of the things that we made sure to put on there was a monitor. Rather than going with the usual ones, we wanted to upgrade a little bit and get the video monitor for no other reason than we felt more comfortable being able to see our son and not just hear him. So far, that has been the primary use of the camera (especially when he is eerily quiet in his sleep) but it has also been a great source of entertainment at times.

There have been many nights when our son has had trouble sleeping or getting to sleep. Being able to see him has allowed us to take preemptive action during those times. While he may not be screaming yet, we know the restlessness that comes before the ear piercing. We both hate to hear our son cry and preventing that from happening by calming his flailing legs has been a great way to avoid those moments.

Sometimes there are moments, especially after a long and/or tiring day, when we just want to see him. It is calming to watch our son sleep but sometimes we don’t want to risk stepping on that one squeaking floorboard and waking him up. The camera has afforded us the best of both worlds by watching him dreaming peacefully without the risk of disturbing those restful moments for him.

And then there are the entertaining times. Whenever we hear him rustling in his crib we turn on the video. Sometimes, as mentioned above, we need to climb up the stairs and settle him. Other times we know what is about to happen. It can be just as loud as those aforementioned screams and they are much stinker as well. Those are the times when we know he is about to let his colon calm him.

It usually starts with the legs high in the air as if he is practicing some odd form of flatulent yoga. Keep in mind that we are watching this from the foot of the crib (maybe the funniest of all the possible angles). This is followed by a little shimmy. This can happen several times depending on the intensity of the end result. Once everything is primed the fuse is lit and the explosion vibrates the crib. I guess you could say that it is a brief moment of satisfying wakefulness for our baby. Once the dust settles he turns his head to the side and falls right back into a deep and restful sleep. At this point we just hope our laughing isn’t so loud that it will wake him up.

So there are many uses that we have gotten out of the video monitor. Some are very practical and have been beneficial since we brought our son home in the winter. Of course, there are also the other times when it has just been a great source of laughter.  

TMI Tuesday: Squishy Doesn’t Mean Comfy!

Every night I look forward to crawling into bed onto the slightly squishy mattress and enjoying the comfort for a few minutes before falling asleep. Even when away from home, the same basic routine applies and while I prefer the firmer memory foam at home the plush squishiness on the road is sometimes a welcomed change. Regardless of where I am, it is this little moment of relaxation that ensures a long and restful slumber.

Our son has pretty much the same routine as his daddy. However, there is such a thing as too squishy which he proved early on within the first month of being home. It is this experience which has impacted the way that he has slept ever since.

It all started in mid-March when we hear his intense cry piercing through a rather pungent odor. It was clear that the mess in his diaper was not conducive to his ability to sleep which by this time was usually 5 or more hours at a time. When he was brought over to the changing table we couldn’t really blame him for being uncomfortable. Baby’s first night of swamp butt has stuck with him.  

Since that night our son has, for the most part, refused to poo while he is asleep at night. Naps seem to be a big exception to the rule. Basically, out son just doesn’t like the feeling of laying in his own stinky squishiness and would rather hold it in until morning.

This brings about an obvious drawback because the morning can be a rather vicious time of day. It is when everything seems to wake up and in the midst of his morning stretch everything is let loose. The people at Folgers didn’t take this into account when considering what might be the most dominant smell to perfume the morning.

Unfortunately, we have also found that while he still doesn’t like the feeling, he doesn’t quite have the mastery of his bowels when sitting in the car seat. Those seem to be the most interesting occurrences which usually result in the changing of outfits and a strong urge to give him a quick bath. All the while, pooping is fair game when someone is holding him.

While it smells, it’s messy, and it can be annoying when it happens in a newly sealed diaper, you can’t help but laugh when he gives you that cheeky little smirk that he has already managed to master. He may crap, and crap a lot, but he is so darn cute while doing it that it doesn’t seem that bad… at least in hind sight. And the loud loads are just funny.

TMI Tuesday: Feed Me!

Every once in a while our son can be rather fussy. During those moments he can cry for a myriad of reasons but usually it revolves around food. Sometimes he is hungry while other times he is just tired. He is an odd little monkey.

Watching my wife feed our child is something beautiful to see. Those of you who have children know what I am talking about. However, there are some moments of humor during those moments that don’t take away from the experience they just add some color to the process. This is even more pronounced when someone other than his mom tries to feed him.

Regardless of who is feeding him the expressions on his face are an interesting study. I’m sure he would fit right in at the Actor’s Studio. Sometimes it can be a subtle smirk while other times it is a slight crinkle as he shifts and stretches. And, of course, there are the red faced moments when you know that an eruption is about to happen.

That is the other part… the sound effects. There is a certain amount of squeaking, grunting, and occasional burping that takes place (usually while his arms and/or legs are going) which is to be expected. There are also the time when he decides to try and communicate by stringing together those grunts and squeaks while gesturing. And, let’s not forget the aforementioned explosions that add a certain punctuation to the process. Let’s just say that our child is rather advanced in this area.

When someone else besides his mom tries to feed him there are a few other things that happen. First, he will give you the look of “what the heck are you doing?” This is followed by a quick look around for his mommy and sometimes a squint and split second cry just before the bottle is put in his mouth. Sometimes he fights the feeding while other times his hunger just takes over. But once he starts, it is pretty much the same regardless of who is feeding him at this point. However, he does seem to enjoy seeing the reaction on faces when he blasts one… mommy has gotten pretty used to it after all.

So the feeding time with baby can be interesting but mostly it is entertaining. This is especially true when he give you a surprised look of “that came out of me?” after he lets go of a good burp or fart. That is probably a look that I will always remember. Funny how the more “interesting” moments and expressions stick with you.

A Little Too Early!

Two days from tonight we will all, at least those of us in the US, will be sitting down for Thanksgiving Dinner. After stuffing our faces many of us will be heading home on the slow sleepy drive back home while others will roll themselves into the adjacent room, beach themselves on the couch, and go to sleep. It is a great day to spend with family without the obligation or expectation of gifts, it’s simply a time to get together and give thanks for what you have and the people around you (at least most of them).

At the tail end of the day, with only a couple/few hours until the calendar page is turned, stores will be opening their doors to throngs of people looking for the best deal of the year (until it hits the clearance rack) and the cheapest gifts possible for the impending gift giving season. Every family has that one person who goes to the Black Friday sales (or whatever you call the Thursday openings) and I will admit it that I am no stranger to the chaos although I have never waited in line to get into a store.

I can understand the need for a good deal and with Thanksgiving over it is natural for retailers to capitalize on the next big holiday on the horizon… Christmas. However, Black Friday does not mark the debut of the decorations, displays, cards, or freaking music. All of that holiday gaudiness begins creeping out right after Halloween.

At this point, I am pretty sick of it. It is too much, too soon, and it has to stop. Growing up I loved the Christmas season and I recall the sights, sounds, and music immediately surrounding the big day. Immediately surrounding, not the surrounding months. What has happened over the years?

While it is not my chosen celebration in my adult life, it is still a season that surrounds us. The message is positive and people are generally in a good mood but let’s stop trying to extend the season every year. Let’s go back to simple way that it should be and start all of the extravagance just after Thanksgiving. Actually, start it on Thanksgiving as it used to be. When Santa comes down the street on the float, the holiday season has officially begun.

So, sit back and enjoy the holiday season. Enjoy the fact that you are allowed to blame the dog for your farts for an entire month. Embrace the gifting ability to pick favorites in the family without saying a word. Reminisce about the days when Chevy Chase was funny and watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (snicker, snicker, snicker).

And, finally, enjoy your one day late in the year… long after we celebrated our eight days of Hanukkah (we will be celebrating while you are just starting your shopping). You might have missed the beginning since we don’t have a lot of songs to mark the holiday because we were too busy writing Christmas songs. By the way… O J Simpson, still not a Jew.