The Night Before

The small memorial at Orange County Choppers. 

I have little recollection regarding the night before 9/11/01. I remember that the semester was just getting started and that I had class early the next morning. I know that I was preparing for a trip into the city for the ASVAB and that I was working on scheduling a meeting with the President of the college to discuss starting an ROTC partnership with Southern New Hampshire University (a partnership was later formed with MIT). I can also faintly recall hearing the sounds of the Giants’ Monday Night Football game coming from a dorm room a few feet away but there is little else that my memory possesses.

Overall, it was just another cool New England night with the biggest concern of those around me was starting off the year right and making sure that they got to class on time the following morning. When I woke up on Tuesday morning I didn’t hear anything out of the ordinary and I went about the early morning preparing for class and taking a slow walk to the Academic Building. It really was a beautiful beginning to the day with only a few thin clouds in the sky, a light breeze coming off of the bay, and the temperature remaining crisp and comfortable.

When I walked through the doors and glanced up at the television perched in the corner I could see that something was going on but didn’t really take the time to watch and process what was transpiring. I was running a little behind getting to class but managed to get there by 8:50am, there was little else on everyone’s mind and the conversation quickly lead to an early dismissal about 5 minutes later. As I retraced my steps back through the building, I once again looked up at that same television just as the second plane struck the South Tower.

This is when we all knew that this wasn’t simply an accident and as the news and speculation streamed across the screen I quickly pulled out my cell phone and called my dad to make sure that his meeting at the World Trade Center the day before didn’t carry over into the morning. Thankfully, it seems as though I was one of the last to place a successful call as cell phone service was nearly nonexistent by the time I got back to my dorm room and turned on the news. As Peter Jennings shuffled through the information we all turned up the volume of our televisions and walked outside to try and catch our breath. And as the fighter jets screamed above our heads low enough to read the warnings on the underbelly of the planes, we could hear the reports come in that the first tower had collapsed.

The rest of the week remains absent from memory as days seemingly condensed into seconds while minutes felt like weeks. Fifteen years later and I still have those memories etched in my mind. And I am sure that fifteen years from now they will remain as vivid as they are today.  

TMI Tuesday: I Want To Talk To Daddy NOW!

Part of my daily routine is calling my wife while on my way home after work. I have done this for a while and in the past it wasn’t as regular as it has become over the past year. Of course, now my wife and I have little say as to whether my phone is going to ring while I am getting on the highway.

Every day, so I have been told, when my wife picks our son up from work he babbles in the back seat saying “da da” over and over again as if it has become his infant mantra. This usually continues for much of the afternoon (and sometimes into the night) until he finally gets to the point when he reaches for my wife’s phone, says “da da”, and waves. He may only be ten months old but he has no issues getting his message across… I want to talk to dada now!

This is pretty much the same routine regardless of whether he is having a good day or a bad day and sometimes, for some reason, hearing my voice on the phone is one of the few things that will calm him down. However, consider yourself warned, if he is expecting to talk to daddy and you decide to call, he will not readily accept this and will be rather vocal about his displeasure. I am told that it is an interesting site to behold when the voice on the other end of the line is not that of his daddy… basically, imagine being cursed out in baby babble.

Of course, I am of two minds when I think about this routine that we have and the close relationship that I have been able to build with our son. While he knows my voice and he looks forward to seeing me every night, I am usually only able to spend anywhere between 30 and 60 minutes with him per day. And that is if I don’t have anything going on that night. This is why I am happy to have the relationship that we do but, at the same time, I don’t like the fact that I see him for such a small amount of time.

It’s almost as if I can hear Harry Chapin warming up back stage letting me know that I am walking a fine line. He is ready to go and can start singing at any time if I screw up. That is the last thing that I want to happen and why when I am home I give my son as much attention as I am able, play with him, and tell him I love him whenever I am given the chance. It may not be ideal but, so far, it is seems to maintain the strength of our connection.

Attempting To Find Space…

Not much space left.

Usually as some point during any given day there is a time when I just need a little space. Not just physical space but separation from the noises of the world. Definitely something harder to do than to simple ponder about. Sometimes I can even go all day and have to setting for those meager moments of slumber to escape the world and get some alone time. When I say this, many people see this as a bad thing, like I am trying to get away from people or some people get offended like I am trying to get away from them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Everything requires some space in one form or another. When there is no space things can tend to run together and just seem to blur into a solid brick, much like this post. Sometimesthesimplespacebetweenwordscanmakeallthediffernceintheworldwhentryingtocomprehendwhatisrightinfrontofyou. Even the commute back and forth to work is filled with a lack of space from the cars on the road crowding the lanes to the constant connection maintained with my cell phone. Space is more than just a physical proximity. Space is that single moment of nothing that we all need in our day. That moment when everything around us stops, the phone is silent, and the computer hibernates. It is those times when you step out of the office for a minute, forgetting your cell phone, and feeling glad that you don’t have it flipped out in your palm as you scan the screen or pick up a call. Space, in many respects, is the most precious and healthiest part of the day when you are as even keeled as you can possibly be. But, with work, home, lodge, and all the other activities that fill my calendar, the necessity of space has quickly become a luxury. I guess it is just harder for some of us than others especially those of us that have a mind that doesn’t seem to want to stop. The damn thing just keeps on working jumping from one thought to another without taking that moment to enjoy the microscopic space between the neurons. Sometimes the best time in my day is when I am trying to think of something, finally recall the information, and stop caring about it as soon as the information is retrieved. It is a split second of mental silence after that moment of forgetfulness that can be the most peaceful time in the day. It is a moment of relief that is rarely experienced and one that I can’t seem to find often enough. It is this time of completely blocking out the rest of the world when the mind and body simultaneously relax. It is for this same reason that many of us enjoy one sport or another in our free time. It is the repetition and focus needed that blocks out the rest of the world. You are in your own space focused on the singular experience. That is the time when we have all the space we need. I need to find more moments like that during my everyday life when I can enjoy life. I just have to find the space.

From Simple Technology To Simplifying Technology

You know you miss it!

It’s amazing when you think about how much technology is woven in and throughout our lives. It’s one of those things, like gaining weight, that gradually takes hold of you a little at a time. Before you know it you are constantly checking your email at all times of day and night and you see people getting jittery when they don’t have access to their phones or, what’s worse, when they can see that their battery is getting dangerously low and they are crawling around the waiting room desperately searching for an outlet. You know you have seen those people. Heck, I am sure we have all done it at one time or another especially on long trips.

Personally, it’s interesting looking back to the typing classes in elementary school when we all did our best to get the work done as quickly as possible so we could play Oregon Trail on the green Apple screen. Or the time when I created my first email account, AOL of course, when I was in high school… “You’ve got mail” was something to look forward to in those days before the extreme inundation of spam that we sort through today. There are times when I miss that ear piecing screech before being able to retrieve my messages but those moments are usually very brief and only wash over me when my mental servers begin overheating.

Look back at how far we have come… do you think you could wait through the multiple dials before your modem would connect?

I think back sometimes when I spend the entire day, like today, writing press releases, blog posts, pitches, and emails all revolving around technology. That is what I do for a living and I am pretty good at my job. Of course, I am more about talking to people about the technology. Thankfully, my late blooming technology background, has served me well in that I am able to translate many of the complex topics and innovations that I am surrounded with every day.

Now, it has gotten to the point that I have people seeking me out to apply my abilities. In fact, this summer I will be delving into a new project that the Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania is working on. Actually, it is more of an upgrade or overhaul rather than something completely new. Either way, I am going to be exploring the initial aspects of this program and looking for ways to easily navigate through and explain the details. This is what my brothers will be relying on me for when everything is rolled out.

So, it should be an interesting summer project but one that I am looking forward to as it is a great way to combine what I do for a living with my masonic life, much like utilizing my writing and PR background as Secretary. It makes it a lot easier and allows me to have a greater impact when I can apply my craft to the craft. Of course, there are also times when I want some separation like when you had to wait for the internet to load dividing the real and virtual world. In the end though I wouldn’t change a thing as I enjoy the constant connectivity. Besides, when we really need it, there is an off button for everything.