Sunday Search: Mother’s Day And Maiden Names

This Mother’s Day I wanted to discuss an interesting situation that comes about in many of the genealogy conversations that I have with others. Unfortunately, the sentiments that follow are not restricted to those only now just starting their research… I have encountered many knowledgeable family historians that just seem to be stuck in a certain mindset. The issue is rather simple, and appropriate for this day, in that there are too many people only focusing on a fraction of their family history by overlooking the wealth of lineal knowledge that exists in a maiden name.

In several instances lately I have spoken to individuals who can, at great length, discuss the history of their surname and can also speak intelligently about their own mother’s line (and sometimes the lines of their grandmothers). However, that is where there maternal ancestry stops. Once they go back a couple of generations it seems as though they have forgotten that there are multiple paths that we can take into the past through both husbands and wives.

First, let me start with the fact that I am proud to have my mother’s maiden name as part of my own, serving as my middle name. It has allowed me to carry with me the surnames of both of my families and I do my best to remember that each day. Second, now as a father, I better understand the importance of teaching my son about all the families that he represents and I look forward to sharing that knowledge with him. Third, I have explored many of the different lines in my tree weaving between husband and wife and I can attest to the rich tapestry that is revealed when you allow yourself to take this journey.

There is so much more to who we are than simply our male descendants and the surname that we each carry. It is with this in mind that I encourage everyone to not just remember your mothers on this day but all the mothers in your family tree that have each had an impact, large or small, known or unknown, on who you are. Without the women in our family we would not have life… we would not have the layers upon layers of history and the fascinating lacework that is our own family genealogy. Mothers are what make genealogy possible and we should always remember that and honor them by knowing about all sides of the family.

No, Really, This Is Something Completely Different…

Last year the notices that I put together for the lodge were pretty light. There wasn’t much information that needed to be relayed each month and there were even times when I had to find content to fill some of the empty space left after all updates were included. This month that was definitely not the case and given what is on the horizon, I don’t expect to have any ‘light’ notices this year.

In addition to two petitioners being listed (the first in quite some time), the passing of a brother, and the full calendar of events to begin the year there was also a portion of the notice dedicated to the raising of our dues. This is a democracy and everyone has a vote so everyone needs to be informed before the meeting. This was all before I put in the Worshipful Master’s brief message and I wrote my rather long letter to the brethren.

It took some work to make everything fit together but, in the end, the notice was completed and put in the mail last night along with a few dues cards for some brothers who sent in late checks. But while I write this and thing about all that has to be done and the event that have happened and that will be happening at the lodge, I am also reflecting on the day itself. Today is one of reflection for a couple of reasons for me.

Today is actually International Holocaust Remembrance Day. Honestly, it had slipped my mind until I looked at the calendar this morning. However, I think I knew that this was the day as I am finally returning to the work that I created years ago. It is something that I dread reading but also take pride in its completion. Similar feelings that simmer in me on this day. Today is one when we not only remember in sorrow the lives lost but we also should rejoice in the simple fact that we survived. And while the world is far from perfect, we are a part of it and we are thriving in today’s society as a people.

And that joy is only matched by the fact that I am able to look back in my own life and celebrate that singular moment of surprise when I proposed to my wife on this day in 2007. While the store may no longer be there, the images and memories that we have will always remain vivid and the evening, having picked up my grandmother from the house and taken her to dinner to celebrate, is a great moment that makes me smile every time… especially when I recall telling my grandmother that she wasn’t allowed to kick until after the wedding (which was two and a half years from that day). Her smile in response is just one of many smiles that I will always remember.

Prayers, Candles, and Presents

A couple of nights ago we started Hanukkah a little early. Over the last month we had bought a few too many toys for our son so we figured we would begin part of the evening routine a couple of days prior. He didn’t really know what to make of it but he was happy with what we got him and seeing that smile made the few extra dollars seem like the bargain of the century. After all, this is his first Hanukkah and we want to make it a little more special so we have tried to make it as fun as possible while setting the ground work for a new holiday tradition.

We are starting this tradition as a family… just the three of us this year. Throughout the weekend, my wife and I made enough brisket to last for the eight nights and we made sure, beginning tonight, to light the candles with the proper blessings. It is only after the candles are lit, which our son seems to enjoy in and of itself, when we go back into the office closet and pull out the next toy for our son to play with. Reading the transliteration in front of our son know that, at one point I could read the Hebrew, reignited my desire to learn this beautiful language.

There is something calming about slowing down for a few moments, reading the prayers, and carefully lighting each candle. It really allows all three of us to just be in the moment while we enjoy our faith as a family. This followed by the happiness in our son’s face as he played with the toys (and the boxes that they came in) are really what makes this a special time of year and I look forward to sharing with him more and more about the holiday and the significance that it holds.

Of course, there is also another fun part of the evening as I was able to hide the small gifts that I have been accumulating over the past several weeks from my wife. Well, most of them are small. While the vast majority were clearance finds or daily deals, I was also able to find something that I had been meaning to get for her for some time now. Thankfully the camera that I was looking at went on sale and I was able to stay within budget. So now, each night, we will have images to accompany our memories and, most importantly, I might have made up, at least a little bit, for my mistakes during her birthday.

And now, with the candles having long since faded, and my wife and son sleeping, I am sitting here writing this and looking forward to the rest of the Hanukkah holiday. I am so glad that we are able to have this experience throughout the week and I can’t wait to see the smiles every evening. And, just think, it only gets better from here.

Last Day at Double Three

It has been quite the year and now, on my last day at double three, it is amazing how fast and slow the past twelve months have been. Every year I can’t help but ask myself whether this is where I was hoping to be at this stage in my life. There are always some great things that result in a resounding yes and there are also some things when, if I take an honest look at them, I am lead to another question asking myself why those things weren’t achieved in previous years.

This year, I am probably the most content than I have ever been. There have been some great things that have happened lately and there are things for which I am very excited on the horizon. Most importantly, I am able to celebrate my change in demographic for the first time as a father. With all of the bad things that have happened over the past year this fact, by far, outweighs all the sadness, anger, and disappointment. This present from my son is the best gift that I have ever received.

With so much having happened over the past couple of years I am thankful that I have been able to stick with this blog. Being able to revisit and remember those good moments has been a tremendous tool during the tough times. While I may have been writing the posts, the gift that my wife has given me is truly what has made this possible. She has allowed me the time and energy to focus on these words and given me the ability to remember life, in detail, no matter if it was a good day, bad day, happy or sad moment. She has given me the space and the time to continue with this project and that is a gift that I can never fully show my appreciation for.

Maybe the biggest difference between this and all previous years is that I have gained a greater appreciation for all the intricacies of life and I have been given a completely different perspective of the world. Most importantly, I have been able to really focus on what matters and not put my stock in about what other people think. I will continue to love, protect, and do what I think is best for my family… don’t get in my way. I have my views and am happy to discuss them with people but damn me for them and I will write you off. There are more important things in life to which I will continue to devote my time, attention, and energy.

This is what made this past year a good one. It could have been great had some things not happened but we can’t change that. Maybe by the time I hit the residential speed limit next year, I can look back and see that this, the year to come, was a great one. Good bye double three, I wish we had more time together but I am also glad to see you go!

A Reason To Celebrate On Columbus Day

For all the lessons that were drilled into my memory in school while growing up, Columbus Day is not something that I celebrate. Like most people, as I have gotten older, I have learned a lot more about the man who “discovered” this once unknown continent. The more I learn the less interested I am in dedicating this day to the famous European explorer. This is why Columbus Day is just another day on the calendar… we didn’t even close the office.

However, this year there was reason to celebrate on Columbus Day and thankfully it was because of something completely unrelated to the historical figure. Today is also my wife’s birthday. Albeit completely different from all other birthdays she has had in the past. With all that has happened since her last birthday, this year there was good reason to both be sad as well as excited about turning another year older. Of course, I wish I would have done a better job of making the day special… time seems to be getting away from me too often lately.

While there have certainly been a number of tough days this past year, my wife has shown a strength in her that few possess. Even though she may not be able to see it let alone admit it, there were times when it was quite evident when she made the choice to keep pushing forward rather than giving up. That alone is enough to celebrate this day but it is only one of many reasons.

This, of course, is also the first birthday in our small family since the birth of our son. What a change from previous years. With such an amazing gift that we both received it is hard to think of something to give my wife that she would like. And it shouldn’t be a surprise given all the things going on this year and lately in particular that the gift that I did order has yet to arrive (completely my fault as I should have ordered it sooner). I was holding out hope on Friday but by the time I left the office without a package in hand I knew that I was in trouble.

Hopefully I can be forgiven for the late present but that is only the half of it. I found something that I think my wife will like but I need to figure out a way to incorporate something of our son in it. I don’t think that the current idea floating around in the empty space that is my head is going to be enough. I already know that I have some making up to do but I just don’t know how much I am going to have to make up for later. I guess we will have to wait and see.

Sifting Through The Forgotten Cards

There are a few boxes on my office bookcase that I rarely look in. They are usually tucked below the boxes that receive more regular perusals which contain the loosely sorted family photos that I have accumulated over the years and the one with the random office supplies that always seem to come in handy every now and again. These other boxes are frequently added to when certain items are deposited into the mail box but that is the most interaction I have with the box… stuffing some of the cards and invitations under the lid to be seldom seen again.

However, while continuing my organizational endeavor, I opened these boxes just to see what I had put in them over the years. It is actually a great way to reminisce about some of the past family events, recall fond memories with friends, and look back on some of the holidays that have passed. It is interesting to look at the different kinds of cards that people have given me over the years. Some serious, some touching, and other funny. It is a pretty wide variety.

There are items within these boxes that made me pause for a minute and think about all that has changed over the years. All these cards and invitations are things that have already happened and with so much to look forward to in the future, it is a unique dichotomy when you hold these items in your hand. And, of course, there are some items, some cards that have taken on an entirely new meaning as I have gotten older like seeing my grandmom’s signature on a holiday card. I still miss getting those cards every year.

There are also the items that I am glad that I have held onto rather than simply pitching shortly after receiving them. I guess it is part pack rat and also part knowing what has become important to me when putting together the family history. Some of these types of things, the simple cards and notes, are more often than not lost during the course of life. These things are really what bring the memories back, sometimes more so than pictures. Being able to hold these items and see the handwriting of my grandmom, my parents, and my wife are what can trigger the memories of great times in my life. I should really open this box more often.

Milestones And Oatmeal

Earlier today my wife randomly called me in the middle of the day. My first thought when I saw her number come up on the screen was that something was wrong or she was having a rough day. It was actually the complete opposite. It turns out that our son reached a milestone today. These are the calls I look forward to receiving.

He has been slowly getting used to the concept of tummy time over the last month. While still not his favorite thing to do, he is at least tolerating it and has even made tremendous progress in his strength and general awareness in this position. Today he decided to change things up once he got tired of tummy time. Instead of getting upset and waiting for mommy to pick him up he took matters into his own hands and rolled over.

It is amazing to think how much things have changed over the past five months. Not just the daily routines that my wife and I now have but in how much our son has grown. Even just looking at the last month, since my last similar post, there are a number of changes that have happened and milestones that have been reached. His personality continues to develop and shines through regularly… poor kid is turning more and more into his daddy.

This past month we have also started feeding him solids. He didn’t go for it right away but once he got used to the taste and routine, he seems to enjoy his breakfast oatmeal each morning. Thankfully, we usually only see the oatmeal once now. Even while on vacation, we continued this part of his daily routine. Given how much he continues to grow seemingly every day, it is a needed addition to his diet. It was actually quite the surprise to see how much he changed from the time we departed for Virginia to the time we arrived back home.

There have certainly been a few hectic and tying days, especially with all the other things that others are expecting from my wife, but he continues to be a good baby. Generally, he tends to just go with things and take the day as it unfolds; he enjoys being out and exploring; he is always smiling and continues to sleep ten or more hours per night; and he only gets fussy or cries when there is a good reason for it. It is safe to say that we really got lucky!

TMI Tuesday: Guilty Grin

The highlight for me almost every morning is walking into our son’s bedroom, turning off the music, and welcoming him to a new day. Most of the time, no matter how much he is fussing, when he hears my voice and turns his head he gives me a wide smile and a light in his eyes that make the grogginess of the hour immediately disappear. It is a moment that I look forward to every single day and what allows me to begin the day anew no matter what the previous day had been like.

Of course, there are also the times when I am slightly taken aback when that smile turns quickly into a guilty grim piercing the emanation rising from his crib. Sometimes it is nothing more than air while other times it is a much more pungent and persistent odor that requires immediate attention. Sadly I must admit that he gets that smirk from his daddy as I know all too well what it means no matter if a toxic cloud is present or not.

This reaction has only become more entertaining as time has gone by and our son had continued to grow. Now the questions of “did you fart?” or “did you poop?” elicit that same complicit expression. It seems as though he already comprehends the humor that those bodily functions can bring to a situation (along with the stink). But those are not the only times that this this expression appears.

One thing that annoys my wife from time to time is the fact that our son seemingly saves some of his energy toward the end of the day so that he can play when daddy gets home. There have been several occasions when my wife would have a particularly rough day with our son not wanting to cooperate but when I open the door and he hears my voice, our son’s demeanor completely changes. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t like the fact that he reacts to me in that way but, at the same time, I can see how it can be a little annoying (to say the least) for my wife.

When I sit him on my lap and talk to him about it usually asking if he had been a good boy today, that same guilty grin appears. Except this time he usually drives it home with some cooing and baby gibberish. The force is definitely strong with this one as neither of us can really remain completely annoyed at that point with such effervescent cuteness… this is not the guilty baby you are looking for. At least when this guilt grin appears we don’t have to deal with the same fallout that fills the morning.

Enjoying The Day And Driving Home

I woke up this morning looking forward to getting up and seeing my son smiling back at me in his bed. After all, he is the reason for why this day is so special and why I have been waiting for this day for such a long time. What I wasn’t expecting was the gift that my wife and my son made for me. It may not seem like much to those without kids but having a picture and hand impression to put on my desk is something that I will always cherish. I really wish I had done the same thing for my wife last month… I guess the distraction was enough of a gift then as it is now.  

It wasn’t long before we were up, packed, and heading down to the front desk to check out. It was going to be a long day of touring and driving but one that I have been eagerly anticipating. After another quick breakfast in the lobby, we started the day by returning to Station Square. Yesterday, we had planned out the day and knew that we could pick up the tour bus at this location. With a long drive ahead of us we didn’t have a lot of time so the best way to see as much of the city as possible was to take the two hour tour on the double decker bus.

Our timing was pretty good and we were able to depart about twenty minutes after buying our tickets. This gave us enough time for a quick diaper change and allowed me to call my dad and wish him a happy father’s day. The bus was wide open with only about a dozen people on the top deck and the entire lower level to ourselves. The views might not have been as good but we spread everything out and kept our son out of the sun for the duration. It also helped when it came time to feed him during one of the extended stops.

The tour covered the entire city and while we didn’t have a chance to get out and explore we were able to see the stadiums, museums, schools, neighborhoods, and bridges. All the while, we were entertained by the nervousness of the first time tour guide. He did a decent job especially given the script that he had to work with. One thing that we did notice was that the city is in a heavy state of construction/repair. In addition to the horrendous roads throughout the area, there were countless buildings being raised in the downtown area.

By the time we arrived back to our departure point it was time for lunch… the last thing that we would do before heading home. We had already previously eliminated a number of options so we decided to do something a little different and make our own meal… so off we went to the Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant that we walked on our way to the book store yesterday. It really was something different and the Father’s Day special that they had was something that was just right… I even got a gift certificate during our meal from the manager just for the heck of it. It was an excellent meal and experience (even with our son making is presence known) and it definitely filled us up for the trek back across the Commonwealth.

The long ride home was uneventful as I was able to set the cruise control and turn on some music as my wife and son slept in the back seat. We made pretty good time and the scenery seemed to fly by faster than the confines of time would allow. 

Back home, we unpacked the car and carried our son into the house. I will never forget the look on his face when we told him that we were home… obviously he wasn’t done yet. I guess he enjoys exploring just as much as his daddy… that really was another great gift that I received on this my first Father’s Day.

Frequent Errands

One thing that has definitely increased both since we found out about our son’s arrival and since his birth is the number of errands that we have to run. This is pretty much on a daily basis as there is always one thing or another that we have to pick up, drop off, exchange, or just get more information as well as a plethora of appointments. And it really doesn’t matter how well prepared you think you are, there is always that one essential item that is missing from your stockpile of baby stuff.

I do my best to take care of most of these things, so long as they can wait until the end of the work day when I am on my way home, but, for the most part, my wife is the one that has to run back and forth trying to get everything done during the day. This would be hectic enough if it was just her but adding the preparation and logistics needed to get the baby ready and out the door adds to both the length of the commitment and the energy it takes to get some of these seemingly simple things done. I don’t know where she finds the energy but, somehow, she is managing to get all of the constant errands done.

All of these small time and energy consuming trips during the day are something that we tried to prepare for but, in the end, we weren’t expecting. While no one thing in particular is consuming the hours in our days, all of these small trips have added up. Some days more than others and overall having a huge impact on our schedules. Hopefully things will calm down a bit in the coming months but we are definitely not holding our breaths for that.

This is why I have been trying to stick to a more consistent schedule at work. In the past, my departure from the office has been fairly open ended. There were some nights when I would get back home well past eight and sometimes long after 10. Now I am doing my best to get home by 7 while trying to walk through the door around 6:30. This allows me to both get some of those other things done but also allows me to spend more time with our son while giving my wife a much needed break at the end of her day.

It is not a perfect system by any means but it is working fairly well thus far. It may be time to take a day off here and there to better prepare above and beyond our anticipated needs. Until then we will have to keep trying to become more and more efficient with these small trips.

Returning Home

This morning I woke up to the reassuring thought that tonight I would be home sleeping next to my wife and son. However, there was a long day ahead of me and a conference call that was about to start moments after I stumbled out of bed. During this postponed weekly call I couldn’t simply let the productive few morning moments pass me by so I used the time confined to my room to take care of a last blast of emails and packed my bag. With a few minutes to go I had everything ready and as soon as I hung up the phone I was out the door.

After returning the key cards to the front desk, I made my way across the street and walked through the Hilton on my way to the show shuttle. Before inspecting the line I swung through the gift shop in search of an item required for my return to the office tomorrow… a Chicago refrigerator magnet. It may seem odd but it had become tradition that each time we travel to a new place for work we pick up a magnet for the office fridge. We have put together quite the collection from across the country.

With the line for the shuttle painfully long which would have prevented me from making to the booth on time, I made the detour to the front of the building, hailed a cab, and was at the convention center with a little breathing room. Enough time to check my coat and bags and make my way to the booth before the first scheduled meeting of the day. I guess it is a good thing that I was busy this morning because it left me little time to think about getting back home to my family.

The morning flew by with a number of excellent conversations and introductions including an interesting discussion with a fellow brother that happened to be passing the booth. Immediately after lunch it was time to leave the floor and so I made my way, along with the CEO and his wife, back to the coat check and out to the sidewalk to catch the final cab of the trip. Thankfully the show was a success and the hard work that everyone put in paid off so the conversations during the 40 minute drive was of a great experience and looking forward to the show next year in Atlanta.

Everything went as smoothly as possible at the airport (unlike my departure on Sunday) and I found myself with a little extra time before the flight. With nothing else that needed to be done I found a little restaurant where I could sit down for a late lunch and called the office to give a little update and my wife to tell her how much I looked forward to getting back home. Before I knew it I was on the plane, propped up against the window, and fast asleep with my legs crumpled against my briefcase.

The flight landed on time with me waking up just before the wheels touched the ground. After a bit of a wait outside the baggage claim (for some reason we pulled into the international terminal) I was soon nested next to my son as my wife drove us away from the cluster of a pickup area. It was a great feeling to be home and finally reunited with my family. While I may have woken up in Chicago, I will be going to bed with my wife and son tonight. A perfect end to a business trip.

A Long Day Away From Baby

Given how things played out last year, I expected things to be busy today at the trade show. What I didn’t expect was sheer volume of people that would be attending the show. What had taken me 20 minutes to go from getting on the bus to the booth, was now an hour voyage through the sea of attendees and exhibitors. Thankfully, I had left early enough that I still made it to the booth with plenty of time to spare before the first appointment that I had booked for the day.

As the day flew by you could tell who had been at the show for both days walking up and down the aisles. Sore feet and slow moving legs were apparent. And, of course, there was the larger than life crowd… the ones that made me look like the after picture from a weight loss commercial. It was a constant fluffy wave that made you think twice when you took a lunch break or went over to the cart to get a cup of coffee.

While our booth was busy throughout the day with only a handful of moments when we were left to ourselves, there were other companies when the exact opposite was true. It was rather odd to see the lack of interest that they were inciting especially in a room where there were more than a few niche companies and products that were constantly talking to customers all day. Makes me glad that some of our previous discussions never panned out but also make me wonder how we could have made the show different for them.

Even during the numerous humorous and busy moments, I couldn’t help but think about what I might be missing back home. I kept thinking about my wife and son and hoping that he wasn’t missing me too much. While he may not be aware of everything he does know when I am out late and I am certain that he knew I was gone.

Those times were tough but it was also nice getting those pictures and videos from my wife and sharing them with those around me. While I may not have been able to talk to him, I could at least talk about him. That was my way of getting through the times when I missed him most and the best way that I was able to relate to those around me who all had kids. That is how I got through today!

Coming Home

When we were given the option of leaving on Wednesday or Thursday we did take a few moments to think about it. However, being confined to our hospital room since we arrived, it really wasn’t a hard decision to make even with the linger fears of heading out on our own. So once the doctor came in for our morning visit, we let her know that we were ready to go and that we would be out and on the road by midafternoon.

The first part of the prep was making sure that the car seat was secured in the back of the car. I vaguely recall having done this in the past when my niece still used one (she’s 20 now) but that little piece of knowledge has long since shaken out of my head. It’s not a difficult process by any means but when you are trying to make sure that your child is safe every parent, no matter how laid back, gets incredibly OCD about these kinds of things.

We got the room backed up, secured our surprisingly quiet son in his car seat, and called for an escort to help us get down to the lobby and out front to our car which I had pulled up earlier. It was a surreal feeling knowing that we came to the hospital just a few days ago still as a married couple and now we were leaving as a family of three. We were about to enter the real world covered in a fresh coating of snow and a bitterly cold wind barreling down the street.

With all three of us secured in our seats and the pile of stuff crammed in the trunk, I slowly pulled around to the stop sign and started our drive home. I can’t recall any other point in my life being so careful and deliberate behind the wheel… not even during my driving test. Needless to say, with a new baby and my wife still recovering from major surgery, it took a little longer than expected to get to the house but we made it there safe and sound.

Walk in the door we knew things were completely different and that coming home meant so much more now than it did in the past. We were home and ready to start living our life as a family. However, starting off, just like with the car, I am sure that we are going to have plenty of OCD and overprotective moments. Such is the beginning of parenthood.

Family First

I spent much of the week finding the little time that I could to tie up some final things for the stated meeting last night. On my way to the lodge the plans for the evening began to slowly change. About halfway to Ardmore I got on the phone with my wife who wasn’t feeling particularly well earlier in the day. As it turned out, my last stated meeting of the year was actually last month.

When my wife called I was honestly a little frustrated as I had been looking forward to this particular meeting all year. It has taken a lot of work to get to this point and I really wanted to be there for some of the announcements that we had planned for the evening and to welcome the brothers who will be taking office for the next year. By the time I pulled into the parking lot I knew that was no longer a possibility.

I rushed through the front door trying to think about all the details that needed to be passed along before I could head back out. The brethren could see the stress and worry on my face as I ran up and down the stairs and from room to room doing my best to keep things organized. With less than 30 minutes until the meetings was to begin, I was finally able to pull my assistant aside and fill him in on the situation. I felt bad for the short notice but there wasn’t really anything that I could do about it.

It was a lose-lose situation where I felt bad for the time that it took to get out the door and to my wife but I also felt bad for having to miss my first meeting since June 2013 and my first as an officer. I was torn for a few minutes but, in the end, family comes first. Not surprisingly, I heard those words repeated many times over as I hustled to get moving.

As the meeting was starting I was unlocking the apartment door and immediately checked to see how my wife was feeling. We talked to the doctor, made sure that we did everything we could to care for her and our 28 week old son, and waited for things to improve. A long night later and my wife was feeling much better. And while I wasn’t able to be at the lodge meeting, I did hear about the reactions from the brethren regarding the announcements and found out that everything else went smoothly.

Party Fallout And Leftovers

Friday morning we all got to the office a little later than usual. At least most of us as there were a couple that never made it in the door. It was a great party the night before but we were all a little tired (to say the least) from the long day out. It seemed to be a day when tasks took a little longer to complete and time just seemed to move a little slower than the previous day.

It didn’t take long before we all started looking at the clock trying to figure out when we would be able to pack up our things and head out the door for the much needed weekend. At the same time, many of us didn’t want to begin the trek home too soon as the rush hour traffic was a little off due to the deluge of children itching to take to the neighborhoods. Needless to say, I decided to stay a little longer than usual to make sure that I would be able to relax over the weekend without a mountain of projects hanging over me.

While the mountain still had a fairly substantial summit by the time I left, I was able to take care of all the things that were pushed back from the previous day due to the party prep and commute. With all the extra things swirling around us on Thursday, we all stumbled into the office in the morning with a growing list of things that we needed to accomplish right away or else our entire week would have been derailed. We all put our heads down and took care of what needed to be done but the list inevitably flowed right past the end of the day and into the weekend.

Knowing the day and the week that had just come to a prolonged end, it was not a surprise that I was the last one to get up from my desk, start the dishwasher, and make my way out to the barren parking lot. Now, with the weekend concluding, I am nearly up to date with everything that has to be done. I will still have to put things in overdrive in the morning to get caught up but I should be able to get back to even by the middle of the week… well, I hope that is the case. I guess we will have to wait and see and hope that all the other events this coming week done impede me as much as last week did. Anyway, back to the beginning of the week and another growing mount of projects.

However, there was leftover jars of cake which made my wife happy (at least for a minute or two)!

Remembering Speed Bump, Cujo, and Munchkin…

On my way home from the office this evening I got a call from my wife who was sobbing on the other end of the line. Now, given the fact that she is pregnant, this doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong. However, tonight she had a darn good reason as she had just learned that her beloved little doggy was gone.

She got Little Prince at a time in her life when she needed a furry companion (long before I filled that role) and while she hadn’t lived with the dog for many years, it was still her dog. He had been struggling for some time now so, while sad, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to the partially blind, diabetic, little Munchkin. While it has been a long time coming, it was still a sudden turn of events and it got me thinking about the pets I have had and lost during my life.

I have had a lot of pets during my life from cats and dogs to birds, goldfish, and a hamster. Heck, we even had a pig. While I enjoyed having each one of these animals especially when I was growing up, I had a particularly affinity for the two dogs that have come and gone. Those were the two that were particularly hard to lose and I still think about each of them from time to time.

The first was Laddy (also known as ‘Speed Bump’). This is the dog that I have written about before that completely lost the use of its tail (this was at the same time he became a barking speed bump). This was my first dog and I can still remember coming down the stairs in the morning and seeing him lying on the family room floor. My parents were away and my grandmother was watching us at the time. While she thought the dog was just sleeping we knew that it was time to call my uncle as that speed bump was no longer moving.

Hally followed soon after and while she might have seemed like Cujo to the little kids in the neighborhood, she was the nicest dog and always knew when I wasn’t feeling good or if I was in pain. Both times that I had my knee cleaned out I remember the dog following me around the house and jumping onto my, at the time, slim stomach as soon as I would lay down on the couch. Of course, the funniest thing was that during my healthier times when I would be running outside she would join me only taking a break to run over to the neighbor’s yard to take a crap. She wasn’t the same dog toward the end, which she seemed to know was near, and while it was sad I was glad to see her no longer struggling.

Now my parents no longer have a dog and instead have a cat with an odd obsession with concussions and an abnormal aversion to nature. She continues to live up to the name we gave her as a kitten, Nada, because there is little going on between those ears and behind that Scooby like expression. And while I do not have the same connection with this animal, it will still be sad when her single synapse stops transmitting.

For now we say so long to the little doggy that got my wife through a hard time without which we may have never met. He is no longer enduring his daily struggle and will now, finally, be able to rest. His worries are gone and my wife’s constant worries about his well-being can now cease occupying her mind. And with a baby on the way she will soon have another furry munchkin to love.

I’m Feeling Kind Of Woody Today

Five years ago today my wife and I nervously paced around the synagogue waiting for everyone to arrive. We had just finished taking the family pictures on the stairs, signed the ketubah to the right side of the bimah, and we were now anxiously waiting for the time to get started. What seemed forever to wait for, including the two and a half year engagement, was over in what seemed like seconds. While a memory that seems like a blur in time, the moments are as vivid as the world currently surrounding us.  

We frequently look back on that day, flip through the pictures, and find ourselves still amazed that it has now been five years since we became husband and wife (the gift for this year is wood). While there have been a few moments here and there since that day that we would have done differently or wished had gone better, we are here today stronger and closer than we have ever been. With life getting busier and busier by the day, I look forward to heading home for the night to be with my wife.

So today we mark the first five years of our marriage with all the love that we have shared during the past half-decade. Our bond has taken us from Pennsylvania to Brooklyn to New Jersey to Jerusalem and back to Pennsylvania. We have each experienced various levels of employment and kept a wide variety of work hours. We have seen sickness and we have experienced health. We have struggled financially but we live in the wealth of our connection to each other.

We have seen one another at our best and at our worst. We have traveled around the state and around the world. We have lived a life at varying degrees of observance. Throughout those journeys and those different points in our life, we have continued to stand by on another, grow as a couple, and, eventually, find what works best for the two of us.

I am grateful each morning to have you by my side (even when you are trying to shake me awake as you yell at me to turn my alarm off), thankful for you constantly supporting me no matter how insane my schedule gets, I appreciate you keeping me grounded and forcing me to hold back at times when I try to do too much, and I’m amazed that you put us with me day after day after day. Thank you for the first five years of marriage. I will do my best to improve a few things during the next five years. Happy Anniversary! I love you!

It Was A Good Friday

My wife was not happy with me this morning as my alarm abruptly interrupted her in the early hours of the morning as she attempted to sleep in during her day off. Oh well, it was time for me to get up and go to work. I already used my floating holidays earlier in the week so today it was time for me to again try to make up for those days off. And there was a possibility to making up that work as most of my colleagues took the day off and a lot of people were off as well being that it was a bank holiday. That fact was noticed immediately upon turning onto the Schuylkill Expressway and not having to slam on the breaks attempting to merge. It was the easiest commute that I have had so far since I started this job.

The office parking lot was about half full when I arrived and the building was quiet when I walked through the doors. The office was silent when I entered as only one other person was working with me today. With the exception of a persistent cough that he has been dealing with all week and a few quick conversations, we both put our heads down and attempted to get as much done as we could.

In a complete change from my usual workday routine, I texted my wife what I wanted from Wawa for lunch and waited for her arrival. About an hour later, my wife walked through the front door and we sat in the family/conference room and enjoyed a nice lunch together. Granted, I am not used to this. In fact, I believe that this is the first time that my wife has come to my work for lunch. And when I say that I don’t just mean this office, I mean any office. So, it was quite the change but something that was a fun twist on the daily routine.

Just as we were finishing up our hoagies (please note that they are not subs, grinders, or anything else you refer to them as) my boss walked in the door and greeted us in her usual friendly manner. It really is more of a family atmosphere of mutual respect rather than a rigid hierarchy. This was also a first as my wife had not met my boss since I started this job. About ten minute later I walk my wife back out to her car with her newfound knowledge of why I really enjoy going to work every day. After all, it is not just about the work/job, it really has a lot to do with the people I work with.

With my wife on her way back home it was time to continue working on various projects in an attempt to get things done. By the late afternoon I had made a lot of progress on multiple items but I couldn’t really call anything completed. When five o’clock rolled around, we were told to leave and enjoy the weekend a little early. Oh well, I guess I have a few things to work on this weekend. So, it was a productive day with an interesting twist right in the middle. I am already looking forward to the next time that I experience a day like today. However, I hope a get a little more work done the next time.

Investing In The Little Things

With so many things going on at the office and outside of the office with all of my other commitments and responsibilities there are some days when I spend very little time with my wife. While it is not an ideal situation, I have to keep busy and I enjoy the constant pace of life. Fortunately, my wife is very understanding of this recent shift but every once in a while I make sure that I step back and show her, in some way, that I appreciate her and support her in her work, her hobbies, and her education.

I try to listen when she needs an ear, embrace her when she needs a hug, and offer the little knowledge I have when she had a question but there are also other time when I just decide to do something a little more. When I am able, I try to include her (or at least offer) in some of the activities that I have going on constantly. I try to make her laugh as much as possible because she tends to get caught up in things and loses sight of the good things that happen every day. I try to do all of these things on a regular basis.

There are times when I wish I could have done more and other times when I try to think what I could have done differently to make things better but I am still a husband with flaws, as we all are, and so I am not always on top of these things. However, there are instances when things go right and all the other stuff going on kind of melts away. Sometimes it is as simple as relaxing with my wife laying on the couch or going out to a reasonably price lunch or dinner.

However, there are more extravagant moments (well, for us at least) when we go away for the weekend or occasions, like today, when we find an item on clearance that I know that my wife will get years of use out of. While searching for a number of things at Wal-Mart we walked by the electronics department and noticed a camera on clearance. We have been talking about replacing her Pentax for a while and now, seeing the severely slashed price, we had the opportunity to upgrade her. While there is a little bit of investment up front just the fact that we no longer have to buy packs and packs of AA batteries anymore will recoup our money in just over a year.

More importantly, it made my wife happy both in the moment and as she goes out on her little excursions during the warmer weather to take pictures. I have my hobby which I invest in on an ongoing basis and it is nice to invest a little in her hobby every once in a while. We both found the things that relax us and take our mind off of things for a little bit which makes the limited funds put into each of them worth the financial commitment. I can’t wait to see the amazing photos that she gets with the upgrade in her equipment!

Home Alone

Freaky Friday might be a more appropriate metaphor as I am usually the one out and about on the weekend but this time I am the one home alone as my wife is in California to attend her sister’s wedding. I would have gone with her but when the wedding was announced my schedule was still up in the air and, now, I don’t think I would be able to take the time off to fly over there and recover for a day after getting back.

While I enjoy traveling and seeing different places there are times when I am glad to just be at home and doing nothing, at least close to nothing. My weekend had actually freed up by Thursday night as my lodge commitment was moved to next weekend and I was looking forward to relaxing and taking care of a few projects that are particularly difficult to accomplish when my wife is around and studying in the office on the weekend. However, those plans, those plans which I had been looking forward to, changed this morning when my phone began to vibrate on my night stand.

It began with a text around 11 am as I was just lying in bed enjoying doing nothing. As soon as I saw the word tomorrow I knew that my weekend was going to end a bit early. Essentially, some issues that have manifested themselves over the last couple of weeks need to be addresses as soon as possible and that translates to a few of us meeting at the office tomorrow morning. I guess it is a good thing that I am home alone this weekend as I am sure that this development would not have made my wife happy.

Of course, this just goes to show how much things can snowball at the office if you let your guard down. In the end, this weekend, while productive and relaxing in some respects, is actually going to leave me even more tired than I usually am during the week and I am sure my mood for the next few days will reflect that. Hopefully a little time in the office, some relaxation hobby time at home, a trip to the airport, a couple blogs, and a glass of scotch won’t completely drain me. However, I doubt it and expect to be half dead and sick by the end of the week. It’s a vicious cycle but someone has to do it. Good night all.