The Night Before

The small memorial at Orange County Choppers. 

I have little recollection regarding the night before 9/11/01. I remember that the semester was just getting started and that I had class early the next morning. I know that I was preparing for a trip into the city for the ASVAB and that I was working on scheduling a meeting with the President of the college to discuss starting an ROTC partnership with Southern New Hampshire University (a partnership was later formed with MIT). I can also faintly recall hearing the sounds of the Giants’ Monday Night Football game coming from a dorm room a few feet away but there is little else that my memory possesses.

Overall, it was just another cool New England night with the biggest concern of those around me was starting off the year right and making sure that they got to class on time the following morning. When I woke up on Tuesday morning I didn’t hear anything out of the ordinary and I went about the early morning preparing for class and taking a slow walk to the Academic Building. It really was a beautiful beginning to the day with only a few thin clouds in the sky, a light breeze coming off of the bay, and the temperature remaining crisp and comfortable.

When I walked through the doors and glanced up at the television perched in the corner I could see that something was going on but didn’t really take the time to watch and process what was transpiring. I was running a little behind getting to class but managed to get there by 8:50am, there was little else on everyone’s mind and the conversation quickly lead to an early dismissal about 5 minutes later. As I retraced my steps back through the building, I once again looked up at that same television just as the second plane struck the South Tower.

This is when we all knew that this wasn’t simply an accident and as the news and speculation streamed across the screen I quickly pulled out my cell phone and called my dad to make sure that his meeting at the World Trade Center the day before didn’t carry over into the morning. Thankfully, it seems as though I was one of the last to place a successful call as cell phone service was nearly nonexistent by the time I got back to my dorm room and turned on the news. As Peter Jennings shuffled through the information we all turned up the volume of our televisions and walked outside to try and catch our breath. And as the fighter jets screamed above our heads low enough to read the warnings on the underbelly of the planes, we could hear the reports come in that the first tower had collapsed.

The rest of the week remains absent from memory as days seemingly condensed into seconds while minutes felt like weeks. Fifteen years later and I still have those memories etched in my mind. And I am sure that fifteen years from now they will remain as vivid as they are today.  

Veterans Night And Day

I had been looking forward to the last stated meeting for months. Actually, ever since last November when we first had this particular program. This past Thursday we once again opened our doors to friends and family as we honored those who have served our country in the Armed Forces. Thankfully, despite some ups and downs over the past year, we were able to once again have nearly 20 veterans, brothers and non-masons, representing over two centuries of service honor us with their presence.

While I was unable to arrange for my family to be present, they were at the forefront of my mind throughout the entire evening. Not just immediate family but also those whom I had the pleasure of connecting with over the summer at the reunion. Obviously, this is also a night when I think back on the generations of family members who fought for us and also a time when I recall my own failed attempt to follow in their footsteps.

For those of us who are familiar with the sacrifices that many of these men have made, it is a night to celebrate those standing before us and also remember those who are unable to do so. Whether having passed long after donning a uniform or paying the ultimate price in the midst of war and conflict, all those who served to protect us, our way of life, and our country were recognized. It is a night that I recommend everyone attend regardless of whether or not they are a mason, veteran, man or woman. Everyone should take the time to show these veterans not only our respect but our heartfelt gratitude.  

However, these simple gestures of thanks should not be limited to ceremonies and celebrations. There are men and women we meet every day that should be thanked for what they have done for us. This is especially true today, Veterans Day, when we should keep our eyes open a little wide so that we might spot a veteran and go out of our way to thank them. And, along these lines, given the connectivity of the world in which we live, take this message onto Facebook or whatever your preferred social network might be (if you have not done so already). When you are there scroll through your list of friends and family. Those who are veterans, thank them, one by one. Don’t just post a blanket statement of appreciation.  

And, lastly, don’t let this be the only day that you offer your gratitude for the service of others. When given the opportunity, no matter what time of year or where you might be at the time, thank a veteran if you happen to meet one. After all, they have already paid the price so it doesn’t cost you a thing!

We Are Getting There!

Well, we are almost there anyway. Tomorrow’s post will be the 900^th on this blog but, given the fact that it will fall on Veterans Day, today we will take a moment to look back on the journey and take stock of all that has happened since I started this growing collection of research, reflections, observations, and gripes. The only issue is that many of the posts, the past two and a half years, are all blurring together. There have been so many ups and downs, so many places and events, too many words to remember many of the specifics that I have covered over the days, weeks, months, and years.

I guess it would be best to look at what this blog has become. What was started as something to simply keep my mind occupied and my fingers moving, this site is now a place where I am able to collect my thoughts, decompress, gain perspective, and sometimes vent about what happened during the day or during the past week. Honestly, when I put the first word to paper I didn’t think much of the longevity of the blog (definitely not thinking it would last this long especially given the daily regularity).

Now I look at the time when I sit down to write, whether at the office or at home, as a way of relaxing regardless of the topic on which I may be focusing. Even the most animated posts have become something that has calmed me as I am forced to focus and put things in some semblance of an order. And, thankfully, since that first introduction in 2013, I have taken the time to set some stricter guidelines and carve out particular days of the week to cover certain topics. Usually today would be about my son but sometimes it is also good to break away from the rigidity.  

Now that I have gotten to this point I am even more determined to keep pushing each and every day. After all, reaching quadruple digits would be something rather astounding to me. And I know that many of you will be coming along for this push to 1000 as the monthly views show me that many of you are interested in one way or another for one reason or another. But for these next 100 I would prefer not having the spotlight to myself. I would like to read your words and share your stories on this blog (you will receive credit of course). Thank you all for the support during the FIRST 900… now let’s work together, share the spotlight, and knock out these next 100 together. Who knows, maybe I will have to do something special for number 1000.

Reflections On This Day

As has been obvious to anyone watching or reading the news, over the past year (especially during the last six month) there has been a tremendous amount of racial discourse. There have been many instances when the protests have been thoughtful and thought provoking while there have also been numerous occasions when the messages have been lost in the rage and rampage both physically and verbally. There have been calls for peace as well as race baiting accusations. Overall, the dichotomy has been tremendous especially considering that each has called on the memory of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to support their actions.

In the majority of these instances, the verdict was declared before a pursuit of justice could even begin. On more than one occasion, those who sought to tell the truth were threatened with their lives… some came forward but too many remained silent. It makes me wonder how those who seek to prevent justice view this holiday when we remember a man who spent his life and gave his life in the hope that justice, freedom, equality, and peace could be embraced by all regardless of race, religion, or nationality. As Coretta Scott King wrote in “The Meaning of The King Holiday”:

On this day we commemorate Dr. King’s great dream of a vibrant, multiracial nation united in justice, peace and reconciliation; a nation that has a place at the table for children of every race and room at the inn for every needy child. We are called on this holiday, not merely to honor, but to celebrate the values of equality, tolerance and interracial sister and brotherhood he so compellingly expressed in his great dream for America.

It is a day of interracial and intercultural cooperation and sharing. No other day of the year brings so many peoples from different cultural backgrounds together in such a vibrant spirit of brother and sisterhood. Whether you are African-American, Hispanic or Native American, whether you are Caucasian or Asian-American, you are part of the great dream Martin Luther King, Jr. had for America. This is not a black holiday; it is a peoples’ holiday. And it is the young people of all races and religions who hold the keys to the fulfillment of his dream.

We commemorate on this holiday the ecumenical leader and visionary who embraced the unity of all faiths in love and truth. And though we take patriotic pride that Dr. King was an American, on this holiday we must also commemorate the global leader who inspired nonviolent liberation movements around the world. Indeed, on this day, programs commemorating my husband’s birthday are being observed in more than 100 nations.

The King Holiday celebrates Dr. King’s global vision of the world house, a world whose people and nations had triumphed over poverty, racism, war and violence. The holiday celebrates his vision of ecumenical solidarity, his insistence that all faiths had something meaningful to contribute to building the beloved community.

The Holiday commemorates America’s pre-eminent advocate of nonviolence — the man who taught by his example that nonviolent action is the most powerful, revolutionary force for social change available to oppressed people in their struggles for liberation.

This holiday honors the courage of a man who endured harassment, threats and beatings, and even bombings. We commemorate the man who went to jail 29 times to achieve freedom for others, and who knew he would pay the ultimate price for his leadership, but kept on marching and protesting and organizing anyway.

Every King Holiday has been a national “teach-in” on the values of nonviolence, including unconditional love, tolerance, forgiveness and reconciliation, which are so desperately-needed to unify America. It is a day of intensive education and training in Martin’s philosophy and methods of nonviolent social change and conflict-reconciliation. The Holiday provides a unique opportunity to teach young people to fight evil, not people, to get in the habit of asking themselves, “what is the most loving way I can resolve this conflict?”

In Dr. King’s memory, I hope that we can all seek peace during this tumultuous time and seek truth and justice rather than assume guilt simply based on whether the person is black or white. To strive to accomplish any less in his memory would be to contradict all that he fought and died for. Remember, his dream was that ALL men are created equal!

Finding The Strength

While I can’t disclose many of the details, yesterday was a horrible day. After hearing from one of my friends that he lost a grandson over the weekend, I thought the day was bad enough. I couldn't imagine such a loss. However, things seemed to drop off a cliff shortly after that when I got a call from someone in my own family. The news sounded bad and, what’s worse, we don’t really know all the details and don’t know what the future holds. With that said, let me be clear by letting you know that the baby is fine. A bit of a pain in the butt at times, but fine.

Again, I won’t get into the details, but the news really came as a shock to me and, more especially, my wife. It is a battle that the family has faced many times and now it seems as though we must keep fighting. We have seen it come into our lives in many guises and we know what it is capable of but that doesn’t mean that we are without hope. Thankfully we are all incredibly stubborn and we are ready to fight so there is a chance that the outcome will be better than expected. This has been beaten before and can be again.

Such is the balance, or should I say unbalance, of life. Just as things seem to be calming down and there is a little bit of breathing room to be found, something like this happens. While the pessimistic side of me is always preparing for something like this to happen (maybe that is why I am unable to fully relax most days) this is still shocking and leaves us feeling unprepared to deal with what lies on the horizon. These moments leave us to reassess our priorities and put the now unimportant things aside so that we can be in the present and do all that we can to get through today, tomorrow, and the next day.

At the same time, these moments bring back the memories that we have put to the backs of our minds. We remember the battles fought and we recall the strength of those people that we love. That might be why this post has taken so much time and energy to write. While moments like this are trying for everyone in the family, we will all come together with all the strength and love that we have and do whatever we can to help. Sometimes it may not be much but, in times like these, even those little things mean a lot when we put our hearts into them.

Remembering Speed Bump, Cujo, and Munchkin…

On my way home from the office this evening I got a call from my wife who was sobbing on the other end of the line. Now, given the fact that she is pregnant, this doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong. However, tonight she had a darn good reason as she had just learned that her beloved little doggy was gone.

She got Little Prince at a time in her life when she needed a furry companion (long before I filled that role) and while she hadn’t lived with the dog for many years, it was still her dog. He had been struggling for some time now so, while sad, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to the partially blind, diabetic, little Munchkin. While it has been a long time coming, it was still a sudden turn of events and it got me thinking about the pets I have had and lost during my life.

I have had a lot of pets during my life from cats and dogs to birds, goldfish, and a hamster. Heck, we even had a pig. While I enjoyed having each one of these animals especially when I was growing up, I had a particularly affinity for the two dogs that have come and gone. Those were the two that were particularly hard to lose and I still think about each of them from time to time.

The first was Laddy (also known as ‘Speed Bump’). This is the dog that I have written about before that completely lost the use of its tail (this was at the same time he became a barking speed bump). This was my first dog and I can still remember coming down the stairs in the morning and seeing him lying on the family room floor. My parents were away and my grandmother was watching us at the time. While she thought the dog was just sleeping we knew that it was time to call my uncle as that speed bump was no longer moving.

Hally followed soon after and while she might have seemed like Cujo to the little kids in the neighborhood, she was the nicest dog and always knew when I wasn’t feeling good or if I was in pain. Both times that I had my knee cleaned out I remember the dog following me around the house and jumping onto my, at the time, slim stomach as soon as I would lay down on the couch. Of course, the funniest thing was that during my healthier times when I would be running outside she would join me only taking a break to run over to the neighbor’s yard to take a crap. She wasn’t the same dog toward the end, which she seemed to know was near, and while it was sad I was glad to see her no longer struggling.

Now my parents no longer have a dog and instead have a cat with an odd obsession with concussions and an abnormal aversion to nature. She continues to live up to the name we gave her as a kitten, Nada, because there is little going on between those ears and behind that Scooby like expression. And while I do not have the same connection with this animal, it will still be sad when her single synapse stops transmitting.

For now we say so long to the little doggy that got my wife through a hard time without which we may have never met. He is no longer enduring his daily struggle and will now, finally, be able to rest. His worries are gone and my wife’s constant worries about his well-being can now cease occupying her mind. And with a baby on the way she will soon have another furry munchkin to love.

Comic Relief

Maybe Mork just went home!

Growing up I remember watching Comic Relief on television (I believe it was on HBO). While at the time many of the jokes went completely over my head I can still hear my parents laughing as Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg, and Robin Williams took the stage and proceeded to conduct an improv set the likes of which I had never seen. Even with my limited understanding, I couldn’t help but watch them go back and forth not missing a moment or opportunity to turn common responses into belly laughs. While Crystal and Goldberg were good, Robin Williams was always the one that took over the entire stage and the audience.

Recently I have been thinking about Robin Williams ever since we learned that we will be having a baby early next year. For some reason I have been thinking about a part of one of his stand up sets when he talks about becoming a father. It was one of those rare moments of honest vulnerability that he would occasionally touch upon during those wild times on stage. In the midst of clear chaos, it was those moments that made you stop and think about something so serious that it just sticks with you years later. Maybe that it why it has been on my mind during the last few weeks.

 

Of course, as I am certain you have heard, Robin Williams was once again on the forefront of all our minds. I am still shocked that he is gone. I am not one to dedicate an entire lost to the loss of a celebrity but Robin Williams was on a completely different level. As I have gotten older I have constantly looked forward to what he would do next… whenever he was on I was going to watch.

And as I have gotten older, caught up and now understand those jokes lost on me during my childhood, I have continued to become more and more envious of the ability to create at an instant no matter where he was, what he was given, or what was said. He is a talent that we will never fully understand let alone replace. He was a complicated man but one with unparalleled ability, talent, and passion. I will miss watching that complicated man both during those intense moments of improv and also during those subdued roles that showcased a complexity and range that few have possessed.

Unfortunately, we all have our flaws and our struggles and his death is a reminder that no matter how much we watch someone, or their outgoing personality, or the success that they have… we don’t know what is going on inside of them. It is the scariest part of life not knowing what can be just below the surface and the horrible way that people see themselves. We can only do so much but one thing that we can do is make sure that we are there for our friends and family regardless of whether they seem like they need someone or not from the outside. You just never know.

Remembering The Children Lost On This Day

One year ago today our throats would not allow a word to escape from our lips. We were all rendered speechless by the news from Connecticut and the innocent faces that will forever be etched in our minds. It is hard to comprehend the hate that was manifested in the actions of a disturbed individual. Even now, as we remember those young lives lost, I can’t get over the evil that was visited upon that community that day.

Today should be a day to reflect, remember, and honor those who were lost to the world, those lights that were extinguished before they had the chance to truly shine with magnificent radiance. We should keep the families of the victims in our hearts and the ask G-d to ease their pain in our prayers. Those live lost, those innocent souls, those young faces should be the focus of our thoughts today.

However, as was made evident by the President today, many thoughts are not on the victims and the heinous actions of a murderous individual. They are on the objects that are so misunderstood by so many and appreciated and respected by too few. Objects, whatever they may be, will always require a force to be acted upon it to create an action. People are the root of good as well as the root of evil.

While all this was happening and the accusations were being made against those who have honored the laws of this country and respected the responsibilities of ownership, there was a sense that the people, the small children, have been lost in the politics of the day. A single event has been leveraged so fully to push an agenda that it has now defined these young lives. The actions of others should never define our own lives.

We should be the source of memory, our actions are the ones that should serve as a means of remembrance. Many lives are cut short and brave children are taken from the loving embrace of their mothers and fathers. While not all are as violent as those premature passings in Connecticut a year ago, they are all tragic and heartbreaking. One such moment of heartbreak occurred just after midnight. Superman Sam passed away at 12:33 am in the warm embrace of his mother and father.

It had been 18 months since he was first diagnosed with refractory acute myeloid leukemia. His mother kept a blog throughout the entire struggle. The good days, the bad days, the days of hope, and the days of sadness. She even wrote abouthis passing tonight, less than 24 hours after Sam’s last breath.

There are countless children taken from this world and they should all be remembered for the hope and innocence that lived in each and every one of them. If there was something that could be done to guarantee that these things wouldn’t happen, that no child would ever die, I would be the first one to throw my full and fervent support behind it. However, that is, unfortunately, not the reality in which we all live. This is why I choose to put my full support and faith in G-d because man cannot make such a promise but G-d offers the possibility and the hope that things can change, that people can change, and that those children who have been taken from us are in a better place than this limited world.

Remember not the actions of others but the lives of those lost. Pray for the end of such evil acts. And hold fast to your faith and your family and do all that is in your power to protect them.

A Little After Work Entertainment

Office parties are always an interesting balance between business and reality. On one hand you head in there knowing that there are people you have been trying to track down for days and need to get a few quick answers or schedule a few meetings for the following week while, at the same time, you just want to relax a little bit and enjoy the informal get together. The trick is learning the give and take of the two.

Tonight was one of those nights for me as I attended a client’s holiday party. There were a couple quick things that I need to talk to a few people about but I made sure I worked them in and moved on as fast as possible. They had to get handled but I didn’t want to ruin the night with work. Plus you want to avoid getting the evil eye from their wife who is standing a couple feet away listening to every word.

The rest of the time is an excellent opportunity to let your guard down just a little bit and talk to as many people as you can. While you undoubtedly know many of them, there are bound to be a few people whom you’ve never met and a handful of people who have, until tonight, been a name on an email. Just like any event, meeting, or other type of gathering I’ve been to I go into it with the simple reality that you never know who you are going to meet or what you will wind up talking about.

Tonight the topics ranged from Rotary, Masonry, and other clubs and organizations to politics, firearms, and genealogy. It was quote the interesting night of ever changing dialogue and jumping from one completely different topic to another based on the person with whom I was speaking. But it was fun having a little variety in the night and I was able to learn a lot about many of the people in attendance.

Inevitably, at just about every office party I have ever been to, there always seems to be someone who becomes very loud toward the end of the night. Usually someone who has had a little too much to drink, whose face is about three shades beyond pink, and they still have a drink in their hand. Often their volume is accompanied with an overestimation of their abilities and a lack of appreciation for others around them (as well as people not around to defend themselves).

I like to remember these parties, the good and the bad, which is why I don’t drink at such events. Of course, the other major factor is that often I have to drive home but mainly it is because I don’t want to risk forgetting the details of what took place, again the good and the not so good. It is also ensures that I don’t turn into that guy. And if you’ve never seen that guy at an office party you better get some help. Don’t be that person. Be the one who remembers.