A Gift For Dad

My dad is one of those people that doesn’t really talk about his Army service or his time in Vietnam. Every once in a while I would catch a little bit in conversation but it has taken time to get a relatively complete picture. Because of this, he hasn’t every really been recognized for the sacrifices he made right out of high school. With that said, I have never heard him say that he regretted going into the military. On the contrary, it proved to be a means to obtain an education and it definitely squared him away going from a C student athlete in high school to an accelerated progression through his undergraduate and graduate work.

My dad has achieved a lot in his life but is never one to talk about his accomplishments. While there isn’t much that we can do about this (especially in regard to his professional career), there are some small steps that we have taken as a family in recent years to try and at least acknowledge his military service. This included having my dad at the lodge last year for Veteran’s Night. Not only was it nice to have him sitting in the lodge with me but it was great seeing him recognized alongside his brother and other veterans in attendance for their service in the armed forces. It was also nice seeing him recognized at the Family Reunion over the summer as well. 

However, my sister took it to the next level this year during her Thanksgiving trip down to Washington DC. While at The National Air and Space Museum she inquired as to the steps that needed to be taken to have our dad included in the Wall of Honor memorial which “recognizes those with a passion for flight.” It didn’t take long before I started receiving texts about our dad’s service. Not having my files in front of me, I answered them the best I could remember (I should have more information in the future once my dad gives me a copy of his DD-214 for the family archives). By the time December came around, my sister had pulled together a pretty comprehensive profile to be included in the database. We all worked together to give my dad this recognition, our gift to him this holiday season.

After all, with the Army not recognizing him to the level that I would have liked to see, it is our responsibility to see that my dad is honored for his service. There are still small steps that we can take to do this and hopefully he will, once again, join me at the lodge in the coming year. However, the best thing that I can do at the moment is to keep doing what I am right now, writing and sharing the present and past family history with all those interested. Of course, I am also still trying to rack my brain as to how we can top this year’s gift for dad because, at the moment, I have no idea.

A Reason To Celebrate On Columbus Day

For all the lessons that were drilled into my memory in school while growing up, Columbus Day is not something that I celebrate. Like most people, as I have gotten older, I have learned a lot more about the man who “discovered” this once unknown continent. The more I learn the less interested I am in dedicating this day to the famous European explorer. This is why Columbus Day is just another day on the calendar… we didn’t even close the office.

However, this year there was reason to celebrate on Columbus Day and thankfully it was because of something completely unrelated to the historical figure. Today is also my wife’s birthday. Albeit completely different from all other birthdays she has had in the past. With all that has happened since her last birthday, this year there was good reason to both be sad as well as excited about turning another year older. Of course, I wish I would have done a better job of making the day special… time seems to be getting away from me too often lately.

While there have certainly been a number of tough days this past year, my wife has shown a strength in her that few possess. Even though she may not be able to see it let alone admit it, there were times when it was quite evident when she made the choice to keep pushing forward rather than giving up. That alone is enough to celebrate this day but it is only one of many reasons.

This, of course, is also the first birthday in our small family since the birth of our son. What a change from previous years. With such an amazing gift that we both received it is hard to think of something to give my wife that she would like. And it shouldn’t be a surprise given all the things going on this year and lately in particular that the gift that I did order has yet to arrive (completely my fault as I should have ordered it sooner). I was holding out hope on Friday but by the time I left the office without a package in hand I knew that I was in trouble.

Hopefully I can be forgiven for the late present but that is only the half of it. I found something that I think my wife will like but I need to figure out a way to incorporate something of our son in it. I don’t think that the current idea floating around in the empty space that is my head is going to be enough. I already know that I have some making up to do but I just don’t know how much I am going to have to make up for later. I guess we will have to wait and see.

Enjoying The Day And Driving Home

I woke up this morning looking forward to getting up and seeing my son smiling back at me in his bed. After all, he is the reason for why this day is so special and why I have been waiting for this day for such a long time. What I wasn’t expecting was the gift that my wife and my son made for me. It may not seem like much to those without kids but having a picture and hand impression to put on my desk is something that I will always cherish. I really wish I had done the same thing for my wife last month… I guess the distraction was enough of a gift then as it is now.  

It wasn’t long before we were up, packed, and heading down to the front desk to check out. It was going to be a long day of touring and driving but one that I have been eagerly anticipating. After another quick breakfast in the lobby, we started the day by returning to Station Square. Yesterday, we had planned out the day and knew that we could pick up the tour bus at this location. With a long drive ahead of us we didn’t have a lot of time so the best way to see as much of the city as possible was to take the two hour tour on the double decker bus.

Our timing was pretty good and we were able to depart about twenty minutes after buying our tickets. This gave us enough time for a quick diaper change and allowed me to call my dad and wish him a happy father’s day. The bus was wide open with only about a dozen people on the top deck and the entire lower level to ourselves. The views might not have been as good but we spread everything out and kept our son out of the sun for the duration. It also helped when it came time to feed him during one of the extended stops.

The tour covered the entire city and while we didn’t have a chance to get out and explore we were able to see the stadiums, museums, schools, neighborhoods, and bridges. All the while, we were entertained by the nervousness of the first time tour guide. He did a decent job especially given the script that he had to work with. One thing that we did notice was that the city is in a heavy state of construction/repair. In addition to the horrendous roads throughout the area, there were countless buildings being raised in the downtown area.

By the time we arrived back to our departure point it was time for lunch… the last thing that we would do before heading home. We had already previously eliminated a number of options so we decided to do something a little different and make our own meal… so off we went to the Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant that we walked on our way to the book store yesterday. It really was something different and the Father’s Day special that they had was something that was just right… I even got a gift certificate during our meal from the manager just for the heck of it. It was an excellent meal and experience (even with our son making is presence known) and it definitely filled us up for the trek back across the Commonwealth.

The long ride home was uneventful as I was able to set the cruise control and turn on some music as my wife and son slept in the back seat. We made pretty good time and the scenery seemed to fly by faster than the confines of time would allow. 

Back home, we unpacked the car and carried our son into the house. I will never forget the look on his face when we told him that we were home… obviously he wasn’t done yet. I guess he enjoys exploring just as much as his daddy… that really was another great gift that I received on this my first Father’s Day.

TMI Tuesday: Baby Dents

A little moon topography... now this is a moonscape!

There have been a number of occasions, especially over the past year, when we would get a package in the mail only to find that it had been battered and dented while in transit to our doorstep. I have had to make countless calls because of this but it has usually been remedied by the time all is said and done. However, we did receive one gift this year that came to us a little dented but we didn’t care. Actually, it was completely normal.

Anyone who had seen a newborn knows what I am talking about. They come into this world a little oddly shaped and with a few dents in their head that make you wonder. Over time, things smooth out but some of the indents are slower to go away than others. So much so that a topographer might go insane trying to update the changing cranial landscape so frequently.

Every once in a while I still look at our son’s head and can’t help but thinking “that looks like it hurts.” I know if my head looked like that I would probably be drooling on myself and crapping my pants too. But it is all part of the developmental process and the thought quickly goes away. It is just odd to see little dents where his head is still forming. I like to think that his head has to work a little bit harder to make room for his huge brain… he is a smart little baby after all.

There are also other things that are still developing but slowly his muscles are displacing the insulation. Heck, daddy might not have a six pack but baby certainly does. It is actually surprising how strong that our son has become and how quickly his coordination is developing. It is a daily occurrence to find him doing different things and being able to better understand what is happening around him. It is sometimes hard to keep track but it is fun trying to keep up with him.  

But even with all of these things changing around him and the development progressing faster than anyone anticipated, those odd little dents in his head remain. He also remains in my eyes to be the perfect baby (I will enjoy this while it lasts). And while I have returned packages in the past with similar dents, our baby is perfect in his imperfections and there is no way I could even consider life without him.

Embracing Gifts

Today is a day that is especially significant for us not just as Jews but as new parents as well. Today we celebrate the giving of the Torah on Mt. Sinai. In the midst of the long struggle in the desert, G-d spoke to Moses and gave the gift of His words and wisdom to those who accept his covenant. We were given light and guidance during a time when we needed it. Similarly, our son granted that same gift to us giving us a higher purpose in our life.

On this day we are not just celebrating our faith but we are celebrating and embracing our family as well. It doesn’t matter if it is an event that took place over 3,300 years ago or 3 months ago, there are moments that will forever impact and influence our lives. These moments are what determine the means by which we live and set forth the goals by which we measure the remaining days or our lives.

We embrace our faith, the Torah, and the Ten Commandments by which we should all live. They serve as a means to guide and inform our actions and grant us the ability to set forth a clear set of rules to pass on to our son. Of course, this is only a beginning to the faith and knowledge which we hold in our hearts. This enduring faith, in various levels of observance throughout our lives, is what keeps us grounded in the knowledge that there is a higher power in this world and we can’t control everything around us.

Our son also reminds us every day that we must take life by the moments… one after the other. While we can anticipate and stick to certain routines, there is still a lot that remains uncontrollable. Our child is the light that greets us each and every day and reminds us of the higher purpose that we now have in our life. Our child is what ties us closer to our faith than ever before and on this holiday, on Shavuot, there is no denying the impact that our son has had and will continue to have in our life. This is summed up perfectly by the following from Chabad.org:  

“Before G d gave the Torah to the Jewish people, He demanded guarantors. The Jews made a number of suggestions, all rejected by G d, until they declared, “Our children will be our guarantors that we will cherish and observe the Torah.” G d immediately accepted them and agreed to give the Torah.”

There is tremendous light in the world. Enough to illuminate the beauty of all that has been given to us but not enough to blind us from seeing the bounty. It is a light that must be fed and nourished to remain bright for fear of fading into darkness. As Jews, as parents, we are the temporary generational guardians of that light and we will do our part to feed the fire of faith and family in our son. There is no greater responsibility or honor in this gift we call life.

Passover: Past, Present, And Future

It is that time of year when the holidays converge. While Christians throughout the world celebrated Good Friday yesterday and will be celebrating Easter tomorrow, Jews are delving into the Torah and recounting our escape from Egypt. All of the basic information about the Passover holiday can be found in my post last year and some reflections can also be found immediately following that post. However, this Passover is quite different than those in the past.

This year I find myself thinking not just about the past but also about the present and future. This is our son’s first Passover and while he isn’t completely aware of all that is taking place it is a moment that my wife and I are enjoying. While in the past the holiday has been to remind ourselves and fulfill our needs, now we find ourselves the bearers of tradition and faith. We are the ones that will pass along and tell these stories to our son.

It all starts with the seder but goes well beyond a single night. With that in mind I wanted to share a few pieces from a blog written by Rabbi Chaim Coffman whom I had the pleasure of meeting during our brief time living in Jerusalem. He was a great reassuring resource at that time and his posts continue to provide tremendous guidance for all who come across his blog:

The purpose of the seder is to retell the story of the exodus from Egypt and instill in us the idea that G-d interferes and plays a role in history. As the first of the Ten Commandments tells us we know G-d exists because He took us out of Egypt! The mitzvah to believe in G-d comes from this command but the belief in G-d is through knowledge, not just a flippant "I believe" based on nothing…

…Another idea to keep in mind as the Haggadah tells us is that had G-d not taken us out, we would still be there. This is incredulous because the ruling power in every nation has power for a certain amount of time but then it eventually ends either through military takeover or through elections. If that is true, could it possibly be true that the Jewish people would never have escaped?

The commentaries tell us that according to nature it could not have happened. When G-d tells Moshe to go to Egypt and take the Jewish people out, he refuses. One of the reasons he does not want to go is because when he looks up to heaven, he sees an angel of G-d and an angel of Egypt (each nation has their own guardian angel) intertwined like a double helix and understood that the Jewish people would never be allowed to leave.

G-d tells him that in essence that may be true but since G-d can do anything, He will take the Jewish people out from Egypt through miracles that are above nature. As we go through the plagues, we realize just how true that is!

At the same time, the Haggadah tells us that only G-d did this, not through an angel, intermediary..i.e. to show G-d's power and demonstrate that the world power at that time was utterly destroyed through the miraculous plagues that G-d brought about against the mighty Egyptians.;

If we look at history, the Jewish people have survived against the natural world. As they have been dispersed without their own land for thousands of years, it is nothing short of unbelievable how they have survived! We have been exiled, gassed, had pogroms against us. and still the Jewish people continue to survive.

They survived through belief in G-d and His Torah and continue to thrive. May we take these timely messages and let them infuse in us belief in Him that will lead to the Messiah coming speedily in our days!!

May each and every one of us have a enjoyable and meaningful Passover.

In the end, while we certainly have influence over our own destiny we can’t forget the influence that G-d plays in our lives. It is a great comfort knowing that the hardships we face are temporary and that the joy we experience will stay with us forever. That deep faith and belief in G-d is what we share with our son. After all, he is G-d’s gift to us and we thank Him each day for our child. 

A Good Place To Sleep

When we first moved into our last place we didn’t have much to fill the space and it took some time before we were able to make the small apartment comfortable. Over time we accumulated a fair amount of stuff and by the time we finally got out of that building we were able to fill much of our current house. In fact, it was nice spreading things out across multiple rooms.

Since we first hauled everything through the door it has, once again been a slow accumulation of stuff. The vast majority of these new items were not optional as we had a long list of things that our son was going to need both when he arrived and soon after. It is safe to say that this has filled the rest of the rooms and overall space that we gained when we moved here.

However, of all the things that we have accumulated lately (more about that in a separate post) there are a couple of items that are particularly meaningful to us. As has been evident in many of the posts on this blog (another one is on the way), family is very important to me and my wife. This is why we were excited when my mom thoroughly cleaned the family bassinet so that we could use it in our home (it has been around many cats over the years). My grandparents bought the bassinet 75 years ago and it has been passed around the family ever since providing a bed to countless relatives.

It wasn’t until after our son arrived that we were given something from my wife’s side of the family with the same kind of history behind it. My wife’s cousin approached us and said that she had something very special for our son. As it turns out my wife’s great grandmother had knitted a blanket over 40 years ago for her cousin but, for one reason or another, it was never used. It was put away in a closet for over four decades before they decided to give it to our son.

The two are now together… two families now one. We don’t hold on to many items that carry so much history but it is nice to have just a few that we can use and, more importantly, that our son can use. Now, every day, our son takes his naps surrounded by both sides of his family and over 100 years of combined history.

Holocaust Remembrance Day

 

Today we stood in silence to recognize and remember the voices that ceased to whisper, the memories that refuse to fade, and the people who took a stand and fought for life and freedom from inside the walls of the Warsaw Ghetto. It is a difficult day to describe in words making the acts of this day that much more important. Even now, having been able to reflect throughout the day trying to pull my thoughts together and having written about this in the past, I am struggling to string the words together to form this simple post.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this day The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum summarizes this somber anniversary in the following way:

The internationally recognized date for Holocaust Remembrance Day corresponds to the 27th day of Nisan on the Hebrew calendar. It marks the anniversary of the Warsaw ghetto uprising. In Hebrew, Holocaust Remembrance Day is called Yom Hashoah. When the actual date of Yom Hashoah falls on a Friday, the state of Israel observes Yom Hashoah on the preceding Thursday. When it falls on a Sunday, Yom Hashoah is observed on the following Monday.

There is no set list of rules or means of observance for the general public and eve the means of observance in the Jewish community outside of Israel varies. However, in Israel, it is a national memorial day and public holiday. And while many in the United States have a certain perception when it comes to the term memorial day, this day is marked a little differently in Israel. In fact, there is a moment during the day that people outside of the holy land would find hard to believe as the Jewish State literally comes to a halt and honors this day in the best way that they can… in silence.

For me, today is one that I take a moment to appreciate all that I have and all that I have been given, large and small. On this day, as the hours pass, I grow increasingly grateful for the most overlooked gift which we are all given… life. It is that gift which we all have in common that makes us step back for a few moments and think about the ways that people embrace that gift living a loving and faithful life and those that use that gift to persecute others for the differences that they perceive in them. It is that dichotomy that forces us, at times, to fight for the freedom to live.

With the setting of the sun, the day came to an end and brought with it the dark of night that so many millions never escaped. But tonight we are grateful for the stars in the sky that will be only temporary and watch over us as we sleep. When we wake in the morning we will have the opportunity to once again embrace that precious gift that continues to both amaze and confuse us. We have another day to live and a life to fill with memories.