Mortgage Monday: Finally Settled After Seven Years

Society Hill Synagogue

Tomorrow is a very special day for me and my wife. Not just because of the commitment we made to one another that day but also because of the memories that we continue to carry with us both during the good times and the difficult ones. While a blur at the time, as the years have passed the memories remain vivid in my mind. Seven years ago tomorrow my wife and I, after a prolonged engagement, ran down the aisle for the first time as husband and wife.

It is especially poignant to think about all of those people who meant so much to us that day, who went out of their way to make the day special and how, while they are no longer with us, they live on in the deep meaning that they brought to that moment in our life. From a friend bringing appetizers into our room during the cocktail reception to friends from Samantha’s synagogue enjoying the opportunity to make new friends. From the joy in my mother in laws face as she spent time with friends and with my wife (and the Salmon and polenta combination helped too) to my grandmother pulling my wife aside toward the end of the night to offer her advice.

All of those memories come back to me in an instant whenever I catch a glimpse of our wedding photos on the wall of our living room and when I see our Ketubah hanging near our kitchen table as I walk in the door. But this is the time of year when they are the most vivid and when I am the most thankful that we have one another. It hasn’t always been easy but the good far outweighs the difficult times and we are much stronger both individually and as a family because of each of those moment even though it doesn’t seem like it at times.

And now we celebrate this day finally settled into a place that we call home. We enjoy our anniversary as a family and we look forward to the years to come more so than we have in the past. I know I haven’t been the perfect husband and my wife continues to say that she hasn’t been the perfect wife over the years but, while it has some wear around the edges, our marriage is as strong as it has ever been. Seven years with decades to go not just as husband and wife but as mommy and daddy. And now we know, and we have the security in knowing, where we will be for all of our future anniversaries.

A Reason To Celebrate On Columbus Day

For all the lessons that were drilled into my memory in school while growing up, Columbus Day is not something that I celebrate. Like most people, as I have gotten older, I have learned a lot more about the man who “discovered” this once unknown continent. The more I learn the less interested I am in dedicating this day to the famous European explorer. This is why Columbus Day is just another day on the calendar… we didn’t even close the office.

However, this year there was reason to celebrate on Columbus Day and thankfully it was because of something completely unrelated to the historical figure. Today is also my wife’s birthday. Albeit completely different from all other birthdays she has had in the past. With all that has happened since her last birthday, this year there was good reason to both be sad as well as excited about turning another year older. Of course, I wish I would have done a better job of making the day special… time seems to be getting away from me too often lately.

While there have certainly been a number of tough days this past year, my wife has shown a strength in her that few possess. Even though she may not be able to see it let alone admit it, there were times when it was quite evident when she made the choice to keep pushing forward rather than giving up. That alone is enough to celebrate this day but it is only one of many reasons.

This, of course, is also the first birthday in our small family since the birth of our son. What a change from previous years. With such an amazing gift that we both received it is hard to think of something to give my wife that she would like. And it shouldn’t be a surprise given all the things going on this year and lately in particular that the gift that I did order has yet to arrive (completely my fault as I should have ordered it sooner). I was holding out hope on Friday but by the time I left the office without a package in hand I knew that I was in trouble.

Hopefully I can be forgiven for the late present but that is only the half of it. I found something that I think my wife will like but I need to figure out a way to incorporate something of our son in it. I don’t think that the current idea floating around in the empty space that is my head is going to be enough. I already know that I have some making up to do but I just don’t know how much I am going to have to make up for later. I guess we will have to wait and see.

Wood Anniversary Plus One

While there is no way that we were going to be able to top the wood anniversary from last year, this year was pretty good. It wasn’t because of anything special that we did or place we went, it was nice to celebrate our anniversary this year as a family. No cards, no gifts, just the three of us together. Something obviously a little different this year but the whole day has changed anyway with many of the things that we would normally be doing, dinners we would be having, this time of year no longer possible but forever part of our memory.

Ass I have said many times before, we have had great years and difficult times in our time together but we always stuck by one another knowing that this was just a simple fact of marriage. This past year was indicative of that cliched roller coaster. There have been times when we have had to just walk outside for some air and other times when you couldn’t pry us apart. However, throughout it all the love remained stronger than ever and now we have our son… our baby… the one who will forever be the symbol of our love and marriage.

Each year has brought something a little different. Sometimes it has been where we were living while other times it has been about where we were planning to go. I guess some of that will always be a part of our annual celebration but things are so much different than they were in the past. However, the constant thing that has remained is that I love my wife now more than I did the day we ran down the synagogue aisle and into the limo.

We have already had quite the journey and, as this year has shown us, things are only just beginning. There are so many things that we have to look forward to, plan for, and sometimes brace ourselves for. We have done so much and planned so many things with life surprising us in new ways each and every time. Throughout it all we have had each other and now we have our family.

Now this day no longer belongs to the two of us. This is a day when we can celebrate the life that we have built, the love that we have, and the family which we cherish. It is a day best described by the unwavering love that we have for one another and our son… the best anniversary gift that we could have ever hoped for. Now try and find a card that says all of that!

Mother’s Day Isn’t Limited By The Calendar

There are some holidays that just seem to get overlooked. No matter how much effort we put into celebrating the day, it just doesn’t seem to be enough. I have always felt that way about Mother’s Day as there is so much that my mom has done for me and so much support that she has given to me and my siblings that I don’t know if there is anything that we could do to really show how much I appreciate everything that she has given to me and the love that has never wavered no matter how crazy my life plans tend to be.

While we have this day that is prepackaged to honor our mothers, the origins of the day really show the love that most of us feel and the kind of honor that we wish to bestow upon the wonderful women that raised us. When you read about the founding of the holiday on Wikipedia you will get my point:

The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she had started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, "the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world." Anna's mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who had cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.

Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, several states officially recognized Mother's Day, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers. In a thank-you note to Wilson, Jarvis wrote of a “great Home Day of our country for sons and daughters to honor their mothers and fathers and homes in a way that will perpetuate family ties and give emphasis to true home life.” Jarvis became critical, however, of the commercialization of the day.

So, while I will do what I can on this day to show my mom how much I love her and appreciate her, I will keep working every day to make sure I convey that beyond the confines of a single block on the calendar. I know too many people who rely on holidays and only reach out when there is another reason to call their mom. I don’t ever want to end up like one of those people (although I think there were times in my life when I did). There really doesn’t need to be a reason to talk, to make sure you remain connected, and to let you mom know (even if it is not directly stated) that you love her.

Easy There Gus Gus!

My post for the day is a simple dedication to my wife. While there are countless ways I could embarrass her with the words I chose to write below I am not going to do that. Contrary to the content of many of my previous blogs I am going to be very simple with my words and just write what I am feeling without blathering on and on and on like I just did. So here we go…

My wife, who better be reading this the day it gets posted, is having another birthday today. Seems like there are one of these days every year… we could get old really fast if we keep up this pace. So far we are sticking to the plan of growing older together and that is just fine with me.

I know that I can frequently be a major PITA but, for some reason, she sticks with me year after year. Maybe that just makes me interesting or eccentric. I doubt it. But there are times when I am completely serious, a time such as this when I say with all my heart, I love you!

While the last couple of birthdays have not been very good I am glad that I am able to make this year a little better. Not quite where I would like it to be but there is definitely progress being made. I hope that all subsequent birthdays continue to be sweeter or at least until we hit that tipping point when neither one of us knows how old we are or who we are for that matter.

I am incredibly proud of my wife who has pushed through many obstacles, beyond the ones that I have previously discussed, and has been determined to pursue the career that makes her happy (think of it as staying on the yellow brick road). The job that she looks forward to going to every day and that she is darn good at. I am immensely happy that has become a reality.

I am glad that we have spent the time together this year creating memories and seeing the world around up is a different way. There have been many changes this year but ones that needed to happen to bring us to this day and to bring us closer together. Our life seems to finally be getting back on track and that, I think, is the best gift that I could possibly give my wife on her birthday (I still tried using a coupon for it but it didn’t work).  

 

Happy Birthday Samantha! I love you!