Mortgage Monday: Finally Settled After Seven Years

Society Hill Synagogue

Tomorrow is a very special day for me and my wife. Not just because of the commitment we made to one another that day but also because of the memories that we continue to carry with us both during the good times and the difficult ones. While a blur at the time, as the years have passed the memories remain vivid in my mind. Seven years ago tomorrow my wife and I, after a prolonged engagement, ran down the aisle for the first time as husband and wife.

It is especially poignant to think about all of those people who meant so much to us that day, who went out of their way to make the day special and how, while they are no longer with us, they live on in the deep meaning that they brought to that moment in our life. From a friend bringing appetizers into our room during the cocktail reception to friends from Samantha’s synagogue enjoying the opportunity to make new friends. From the joy in my mother in laws face as she spent time with friends and with my wife (and the Salmon and polenta combination helped too) to my grandmother pulling my wife aside toward the end of the night to offer her advice.

All of those memories come back to me in an instant whenever I catch a glimpse of our wedding photos on the wall of our living room and when I see our Ketubah hanging near our kitchen table as I walk in the door. But this is the time of year when they are the most vivid and when I am the most thankful that we have one another. It hasn’t always been easy but the good far outweighs the difficult times and we are much stronger both individually and as a family because of each of those moment even though it doesn’t seem like it at times.

And now we celebrate this day finally settled into a place that we call home. We enjoy our anniversary as a family and we look forward to the years to come more so than we have in the past. I know I haven’t been the perfect husband and my wife continues to say that she hasn’t been the perfect wife over the years but, while it has some wear around the edges, our marriage is as strong as it has ever been. Seven years with decades to go not just as husband and wife but as mommy and daddy. And now we know, and we have the security in knowing, where we will be for all of our future anniversaries.

I’m Feeling Kind Of Woody Today

Five years ago today my wife and I nervously paced around the synagogue waiting for everyone to arrive. We had just finished taking the family pictures on the stairs, signed the ketubah to the right side of the bimah, and we were now anxiously waiting for the time to get started. What seemed forever to wait for, including the two and a half year engagement, was over in what seemed like seconds. While a memory that seems like a blur in time, the moments are as vivid as the world currently surrounding us.  

We frequently look back on that day, flip through the pictures, and find ourselves still amazed that it has now been five years since we became husband and wife (the gift for this year is wood). While there have been a few moments here and there since that day that we would have done differently or wished had gone better, we are here today stronger and closer than we have ever been. With life getting busier and busier by the day, I look forward to heading home for the night to be with my wife.

So today we mark the first five years of our marriage with all the love that we have shared during the past half-decade. Our bond has taken us from Pennsylvania to Brooklyn to New Jersey to Jerusalem and back to Pennsylvania. We have each experienced various levels of employment and kept a wide variety of work hours. We have seen sickness and we have experienced health. We have struggled financially but we live in the wealth of our connection to each other.

We have seen one another at our best and at our worst. We have traveled around the state and around the world. We have lived a life at varying degrees of observance. Throughout those journeys and those different points in our life, we have continued to stand by on another, grow as a couple, and, eventually, find what works best for the two of us.

I am grateful each morning to have you by my side (even when you are trying to shake me awake as you yell at me to turn my alarm off), thankful for you constantly supporting me no matter how insane my schedule gets, I appreciate you keeping me grounded and forcing me to hold back at times when I try to do too much, and I’m amazed that you put us with me day after day after day. Thank you for the first five years of marriage. I will do my best to improve a few things during the next five years. Happy Anniversary! I love you!