Mortgage Monday: Finally Settled After Seven Years

Society Hill Synagogue

Tomorrow is a very special day for me and my wife. Not just because of the commitment we made to one another that day but also because of the memories that we continue to carry with us both during the good times and the difficult ones. While a blur at the time, as the years have passed the memories remain vivid in my mind. Seven years ago tomorrow my wife and I, after a prolonged engagement, ran down the aisle for the first time as husband and wife.

It is especially poignant to think about all of those people who meant so much to us that day, who went out of their way to make the day special and how, while they are no longer with us, they live on in the deep meaning that they brought to that moment in our life. From a friend bringing appetizers into our room during the cocktail reception to friends from Samantha’s synagogue enjoying the opportunity to make new friends. From the joy in my mother in laws face as she spent time with friends and with my wife (and the Salmon and polenta combination helped too) to my grandmother pulling my wife aside toward the end of the night to offer her advice.

All of those memories come back to me in an instant whenever I catch a glimpse of our wedding photos on the wall of our living room and when I see our Ketubah hanging near our kitchen table as I walk in the door. But this is the time of year when they are the most vivid and when I am the most thankful that we have one another. It hasn’t always been easy but the good far outweighs the difficult times and we are much stronger both individually and as a family because of each of those moment even though it doesn’t seem like it at times.

And now we celebrate this day finally settled into a place that we call home. We enjoy our anniversary as a family and we look forward to the years to come more so than we have in the past. I know I haven’t been the perfect husband and my wife continues to say that she hasn’t been the perfect wife over the years but, while it has some wear around the edges, our marriage is as strong as it has ever been. Seven years with decades to go not just as husband and wife but as mommy and daddy. And now we know, and we have the security in knowing, where we will be for all of our future anniversaries.

When Is The Last Time You Wrote A Love Letter?

Photo by Liz Warnek

Every journey has to start somewhere and ours did when, four years ago today (this hour actually), my wife and I were running down the aisle, out the synagogue doors, and into a limousine on our way to our wedding reception overlooking Independence Hall. It will forever be one of the best days of my life even though we didn’t have a chance to enter the dessert room. I am sure my wife will be reliving our wedding day through photos on her blog so I am going to go about this post another way.

As most of you know I am very easy to get along with most of the time but other times I am a pain in the butt and my wife has had to put up with all of it. The latter of the two is guaranteed not to be much fun to live with but, when you think about it, the first part is not easy either. I enjoy talking to people and it doesn’t matter where we are I can find someone to strike up a conversation with. On top of all this, she has to deal with a “creative type” but I guess that falls under the pain in the butt category.  

My wife is different… she is an astounding woman and my best friend (translation: I love her but she can sometimes be a pain in the butt too). I have seen her struggle and I have seen her succeed and I am constantly amazed by what she has accomplished and I will always be proud to be called her husband. From Chesterbrook and Brooklyn to Metuchen and Jerusalem to Bryn Mawr and Bala Cynwyd we have stuck together, leaned on each other, and gotten through it all still in one piece.

There have been good days and bad, easy and hard times, healthy and downright scary moments, and we have weathered them all side by side. We’ve had our disagreements and we’ve made many big, and sometimes shocking, decisions with all of them bringing us to this day when I can honestly say that even though she pisses me off sometimes I love her more than the day we were sentenced by the Rabbi.

While we both have changed in many ways, grown at different rates and, sometimes, in different directions, we continue to strengthen our bond and reach toward the dreams that sometimes seem so far but get closer to our grasp every day. We have gotten a lot of opinions over the years with some voices being louder than others. Thankfully, none of them have been from within our own heads… I think. We have found our way, we have discovered what works for us, we know the kind of life we want and this is the kind of life we will live.

If you’re married, I hope you have what we have. If you’re single, good luck because not many people are this lucky.