A Milestone I Wasn’t Sure Would Happen

Seemed apropos. 

This is a blog that I did not expect that I would reach especially in the equivalent number of days. It was my original intent to do so but there were more than a few moments along the way when it seemed nearly impossible to keep up the pace. But here I am, 700 days and 700 posts later. What started as something to keep me occupied during the long nights behind the front desk has morphed into a cathartic daily exercise that has allowed me to vent, reflect, record, and sometimes just play with words.  

This space has allowed me to keep track of my various interests and maintain a record of my experiences in a variety of different areas. Some of the posts have been simple recounts of trips that my wife and I have taken or events that I have attended while others contain opinions on topics with which I am certain not everyone will agree. And there is everything else along the varied spectrum.

It is a given, as mentioned above, that there are many posts that I have struggled to write for one reason or another. Sometimes I just didn’t feel like writing while other times I wanted to write but couldn’t think of how to say something. And because it has been a daily process, there are many instances (too many to count) when I have found myself repeating the same point time and again… along those lines, I am sure that this post is similar to those that I wrote for the other centenary milestones.

In the end, it is a means to get things out and maintain my writing despite the obvious depletion of the minimal skills that I once possessed. It is also a way to start conversations with those that I know read these posts… some regularly and others on occasion. In these regards it is an incredibly self-serving endeavor and I have never denied that fact. After all, this is a collection of my experiences, opinions, discoveries, and interests.

However, things have changed a lot since I started recording my life… while it is still a record of my experiences and a number of my opinions it is also about my son and what I want to make sure I share with him. There is nothing that can replace the connection of telling him in person but there will inevitably be things that are overlooked and I don’t want to end up like Michael Keaton. While there are some topics and things that I haven’t written about there is a pretty broad range of posts that can sum up a large part of my life. The words on the screen/page and the act of writing tells much of my story and I want my son to know me, the good and the unpleasant, the passionate and the combative, the structured and the creative, everything.

From One To Many

There is always a time each year when a variety of events seem to converge during a single month at the lodge. Sometimes it can even come down to a single day. It is hard enough when there are a variety of Masonic commitments converging, having family projects that need to be addressed at the same time just adds to the difficulty.

While it would be nice to be able to go to everything and not lose out on the time at home, it isn’t a realistic scenario. Anyone who is or has been an officer knows this routine all too well. And while I have recently significantly cut back on the time I have been spending at the lodge, I am uncertain as to whether I can avoid the pull of my office much longer.

Things have to get done this month and there are certain commitments that I have to make. This is nothing new but the number of things that have to get done before the next meeting, an official visitation, has become overwhelming at times. I can’t even find the time to coordinate the transitioning of tasks to my assistant.

However, when I step back and take a look at the problem it really doesn’t seem that bad. There have been times in life when I had to look for something to do and now I am looking at a variety of options. While it would be nice to be able to pick just one, I still have the options and people who want me to be present at each. It is a really good feeling and on that is too often overlooked.

This is a message that I do my best to relay to the new brothers that come into the lodge… we want you to be here. We are all integral to the success of the lodge and the fraternity as a whole. You never have to look for a place to be or somewhere that you can go… there is always a place for you, sometimes a chair for you, at the lodge. It is a powerful thing to think about especially during this time when the digital barriers as so ever-present. We want you here, as an equal, as our brother.

Even though Michael Keaton warned us of the pitfalls, it looks like I may have no other option than to be present at two or more events… I am pretty sure that the simple one will be showing up to one of them calling everyone Steve. The trick is trying to figure out how to accomplish this seemingly impossible task. It is just nice to know that wherever I find myself I am going to be welcomed and I will be among family.

Not Just Another Day Out Of The Office

This time last week I left the office in the middle of the day to go to a doctor’s appointment. While the timing was not ideal, it was the only appointment that worked in both our schedules. Fortunately, everyone at my office knows that I only schedule things in the middle of the day if there is no other option available so they were fine with me leaving at two. Honestly, I don’t know how I would have gotten over it if I was not there to see the first pictures of our baby. Yes, you read that correctly, I am going to be a father. Happy wood anniversary to us!

While we had the tests done to confirm the previous week, this first ultrasound was a completely different experience when you see the fast flicker of the heart on the screen. It is an instantaneous bond that most have experienced but no one has been able to accurately express. It is a life changing moment that makes you reconsider your perspective of the world around you. For some, their views change but as for me, to my surprise, that moment solidified every perspective that I have expressed in this blog and in person to many of you. In fact, I am glad that I have continued to write as I want my child to look back and really know who I am (like Michael Keaton in “My Life” except I am not dying anytime soon).

Above all, it is an immense feeling of excitement and fear. I am excited to see our child, teach them about life, share with them the thing that I have learned in my limited years, and make sure that they don’t make the mistakes, of which there are too many to list, that I have in my life. I am also fearful of falling short as a father and for the simple fact that I am now responsible for another human being on this earth and that I must do everything in my power to protect my child and keep them safe. Simply put, I worry that my child will not look at me the same way that I look at my dad.

So, this is the last means of communication in announcing this exciting news. We have seen and heard a wide variety of reactions to this news and we have tried to soak it all up as the experience washed over us like a tsunami. But even though it is sometimes difficult to process moment to moment, it is a time that I will never forget especially when I was able to see my mom’s face when she realized why it would take eight months before her birthday present arrived. And just think, this is only the first of many moments that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Sunday: The Complete Opposite Of Saturday

Name that movie (before he became Batman)...

I know I have written about this before but it has been some time since I last approached the subject and that is because of the simple reason that I hate cleaning. However, there comes a time when you just look around and you have no other choice but to pull out the vacuum, prep the Swiffer, and knock off all the crud from the bottom of the broom. Sunday was that time for me when I could feel the dirt on the bottom of my socks and I could see the coating of dust on the coffee table.

With other things on my plate for the day, it was by no means a deep cleaning (that will have to be done at a later time) but I was at least able to clear off a couple of the tables and pile all of the miscellaneous crap into one consolidated area. Yesterday was all about reducing the coverage of the clutter rather than eliminating the mass of the mess. So now, everything has been shoved to one side or another and neatly stacked in sortable piles which I am sure will sit for at least another week before being touched.

Once these things are taken care of it will be time to vacuum the entire apartment. This is not going to be one of those quick pass type jobs, this is going to be an all-day process with multiple passes, numerous bag changes, and a follow up Swiffer to take care of all the fine dust kicked up throughout the marathon. That is the part that I am really not looking forward to. Everything else is bearably, it’s that vacuuming that is a royal PITA.

At least when you are sorting through piles on tables you have the occasional moment of “I forgot we had that” or “I was wondering where I put that”. Vacuuming does not throw in those moments of relief. You are not going to reminisce about a Dorito that you had a month ago that bounced under the sofa only to be found by the bristles and suction of your Hoover. It just doesn’t work that way, at least not for me.

So I guess you could say that round one is done with the longer, more exhausting, rounds to go. While I am not looking forward to the process, I can’t wait for the end result when we return to a state of maintenance rather than recovery. Until we get to that point it is a matter of returning to cleanliness and working on the maintenance schedule that will immediately follow. I guess we will see how that holds up.