Three City Friendship

Our old lunch spot half a block from the office in New York City. 

After not having seem one of my best friends in nearly four years we have now had the chance, however brief it may have been each time, to get together twice in the mast couple of months. This time I was able to introduce him (and his welcoming parents) to our son who actually has the same name. It is still a little odd considering that we used to see one another nearly every day when we both worked for the same PR agency in Manhattan years ago. After having made the time on a business trip to Chicago in late March, he was in the Philadelphia area for a wedding this past weekend.

Since those days of long lunch breaks (mostly at Ben’s on 38^th Street) and lengthy conversations after work while we walked to the train there have been a lot of changes that have happened in each of our lives. And I’m not just talking about geography. It is really interesting to think about how our perspectives have shifted since then and the experiences that we have both had that have brought each of us to this point in our lives.

While my wife and I have moved around quite a bit finally settling back in the area where we grew up, my friend has done the opposite by moving away from family and now enjoying a successful career in the middle of the country. Since the day that we first met at the office we have each gotten married (and were groomsmen at each other’s wedding) with my wife and I taking the next step by starting a family and my friend finally breaking free from a wife that, to put it nicely, epitomized the greed and self-centeredness that seems to becoming more pervasive in the younger generations. While completely different journeys we are both happy with where we are now and what seems to be just beyond the horizon.

Even with everything going on, good times and bad, we have always remained in contact and did our best to keep things in perspective for one another. I can’t stress enough the importance of having a friend that offer this when you need it. We have each had some great times and some difficult times of the years and it has been nice getting together lately to talk about the positive changes that have happened and the optimism that is now part of our daily routines. Even when we shared a common company this was not always the case.

Hopefully, the visits will become less sporadic in the future as we continue to enjoy life and the different paths we chose to take. If anything, it is interesting to hear about the different turns and detours that life can take us on. Regardless, we will be certain to talk on a regular basis (not always a guarantee with me as many of you know) and keep one another up to date as to the great changes and experiences that come our way.

Thoughts While Preparing For The Next Meeting

For the past couple of weeks I had been fretting a bit not knowing if I could work through the long list of tasks that needed to be accomplished before the stated meeting. Of course, I didn’t help myself out by forgetting to take care of a few things earlier in the year. However, somehow everything seems to be coming together and I should be able to breathe a little easier heading into next week.

This isn’t to say that everything is done. As any lodge secretary can attest, there is still a mountain of work, tasks to be checked off, phone calls to be made, and general logistics planned out before the official visitation takes place. It is both a stressful time and also a highly enjoyable time of year. The latter usually occurring once the meeting is concluded and a minimal amount of complaints are fielded at my desk once everyone is walking abut afterward.

I will say that it is a much better feeling having this particular meeting take place in the spring rather than the fall as it did last year. It is a push to coordinate the night and afterward there is a feeling that we all need a break. With only one more meeting following this one before we go dark for the summer, this is the best timing that we could have to keep all of us going for the rest of the year.

So, with much of what has to be taken care of now out of the way, I am finally able to turn my attention to a number of lingering items that seem to never get crossed off of the list. While a week isn’t a lot of time, it should be enough to get these things finally removed to free up the space for countless others to take their place. However, hopefully a new routine in the coming months will alleviate some of the delays that have been hounding me so far this year.

It is interesting to think about all these things from the perspective of the office I hold at the lodge because when I step back for just a second it hits me that this whole process is still new to me. I have only been a Mason for two years… two years and two days to be exact. I am still taken back by how things have changed over that time and how much I have been fortunate enough to be a part of during that time.

I knew very little when I joined the one day class at LuLu Shrine in the spring of 2013 only having been able to talk to a few brothers at length and enjoying the fact that my uncle was able to welcome me as a brother. Now I find myself welcoming new brothers with the same love that was shown to me during those initial months and one day experience. This fraternity and this office are part of my life, my routine, and a huge part of my early masonic experience. It is drastically different from the experiences of many but I wouldn’t change a thing.

The Hardest Part

There have been many difficult moments during these early days of parenthood with the hardest of which happening today. Last night I couldn’t sleep as I didn’t want today to come. I knew that when I woke up the morning would go too fast and my departure would arrive too soon. This morning I woke up knowing that I would have to leave my family for a few days while I traveled to Chicago for work.

The plane was scheduled to depart just after lunch so we all piled in the car around 9:30 so that there wouldn’t be any timing issues. With my wife behind the wheel I sat beside my son staring at him as the mile markers streamed by the window. It was a ride that seemed to go on forever and one that ended way too soon.

While he usually sleeps whenever he is in the car, this time was different. He kept opening his eyes and looking at me as if to catch one last glimpse before daddy had to leave. Each time this happened was just as hard as the last.

When we arrived I moved slowly to prolong the moment. I kissed my son and kissed my wife. Then I watched them drive away as I made my way to the terminal doors.  

Even with the cluster at the counter when I found out US Airways and American Airlines aren’t talking anymore, the confusion at security where there were no signs directing which line to get in, and the debacle at the gate when seat assignments were handed out to all passengers, I still kept thinking about the looks from my son each time he woke up in the car. It is a look that persisted in my mind throughout the day. Even later in the night during the client meeting and after that sending time with a friend that I haven’t seen in over 3 years, I was still thinking about my wife and my son.

It is interesting to think about the changes that have occurred since the last time that I was on a business trip like this. Last year this whole thing was still new having only been at the company for 6 months, it was just my wife and me, and the whole business travel was something with which I was still unfamiliar. While by no means old hat, it is just a different experience this year. Same company, similar trip, a new son, and reconnecting with an old friend.

Things are different this year. It is going to be a great trip and an excellent event but I know my thoughts will remain with my family. Three nights until I can see my wife and son again. Until then, I have to work and enjoy the pictures that my wife will certainly be sending me. Those are the moments to look forward to each day.

Reading With A Bit Of Envy

During my life I have enjoyed travelling to many different places around the United States and to some other parts of the world. Every once in a while, such as this week when I was corresponding with a reporter, I am even able to pull from those experiences and offer a few suggestions of places to go, things to see, or where you can get a nice meal. While I am more traveled than some, I fall tremendously short of others.

Maybe this is the reason why I experience a slight hint of envy when I read my friend Nadine’s blog. Nadine and my wife used to work together years ago and since that time she has been to some amazing places and accomplished some impressive feats. She has been to France for a season, Italy to visit a friend, and, this past summer she walked the entirety of the Camino. All of these places would be wonderful to see but I have yet to travel to those places.

Thankfully, she has proven to be quite the prolific blogger and photographer so, on occasion, I will venture over to her page and read through some of the informative and entertaining posts… most of them have centered on travel but there is also a good mix of both humor and reflection. I think the most recent incarnation of her creative passion, “Begin With A Single Step”, touches on all of those things and more. This was evident in her first post when she wrote the following:

“A single step feels both enormous and insignificant. Whether it’s an actual footstep, the beginning action of something, a small part of a process or even a decision to start; it’s one step. It takes stringing the steps together, putting one foot in front of the other over and over again, day in and day out- often tirelessly- to get somewhere. To create something. To change one thing in your life. To change your entire life.”

I read the words and look at the picture and while I would like to see those places first hand there are also places that I have been and experiences I have had that have filled my life. Some people have even read my posts about them or heard me mention them in conversation and reacted the same way that I do to Nadine’s adventures. Even if I never make it to the places that I read about in books or on blogs, there are so many other things that I would have never been able to experience had I packed my bags and hit the road.

I guess we all just live different lives with each of us seeing different things while others simply imagine them. We can do everything and be everywhere. We all put one foot in front of the other but it doesn’t mean we are all going to walk on the same path or in the same direction. And, honestly, I am blown away by the scenery that surrounds me on my journey.

Detour To The Hospital

This week started off a little more hectic than usual but, for some reason, went much faster than I could have ever expected. However, there were times when I couldn’t help but slow down and step outside of the chaos for a few moments. It is something that comes naturally when a brother, a friend, is in need in some way. Those are the times when we come together and realize the bond that we have with our fellow brothers.

Over the weekend I had gotten an email from the Worshipful Master that he had fallen ill and would require a couple of days to back on task. I didn’t think anything of it at the time as we all have those moments when it simply takes a little bit of time to recover. A couple of days passed without improvement. Finally, he was admitted to the hospital on Wednesday night with, what I would later discover, was a severe infection.

Strangely enough the office had cleared out on Thursday by 5:30pm and I found myself driving down the highway, past my usual exit, and into the hospital parking garage. I really don’t like hospitals and tend to avoid them but that fact didn’t creep into my mind that night. I wasn’t sure if he was taking visitors or if he would be happy to see me but I couldn’t just go about my usual days and nights without checking in on him. It was only then when I was made aware of how serious things had gotten and how much improvement was already being made.  

It was an interesting experience as this was truly the first time that I was able to feel the bond that I have with one of my fellow brothers beyond the usual tasks and projects of the lodge. I have had similar experiences but not like this, not with a brother I have been working closely throughout the year. And the thing is, I know he would have done the same exact thing had the roles been reversed.

It was actually a good visit, at least as good as could be expected, and after about two hours I was on my way back home for the night. On my way back home with a list of tasks that I am happy to help him complete. I don’t know how they are going to get done but we, as a lodge, will somehow find a way. We always do!

When Is The Last Time You Wrote A Love Letter?

Photo by Liz Warnek

Every journey has to start somewhere and ours did when, four years ago today (this hour actually), my wife and I were running down the aisle, out the synagogue doors, and into a limousine on our way to our wedding reception overlooking Independence Hall. It will forever be one of the best days of my life even though we didn’t have a chance to enter the dessert room. I am sure my wife will be reliving our wedding day through photos on her blog so I am going to go about this post another way.

As most of you know I am very easy to get along with most of the time but other times I am a pain in the butt and my wife has had to put up with all of it. The latter of the two is guaranteed not to be much fun to live with but, when you think about it, the first part is not easy either. I enjoy talking to people and it doesn’t matter where we are I can find someone to strike up a conversation with. On top of all this, she has to deal with a “creative type” but I guess that falls under the pain in the butt category.  

My wife is different… she is an astounding woman and my best friend (translation: I love her but she can sometimes be a pain in the butt too). I have seen her struggle and I have seen her succeed and I am constantly amazed by what she has accomplished and I will always be proud to be called her husband. From Chesterbrook and Brooklyn to Metuchen and Jerusalem to Bryn Mawr and Bala Cynwyd we have stuck together, leaned on each other, and gotten through it all still in one piece.

There have been good days and bad, easy and hard times, healthy and downright scary moments, and we have weathered them all side by side. We’ve had our disagreements and we’ve made many big, and sometimes shocking, decisions with all of them bringing us to this day when I can honestly say that even though she pisses me off sometimes I love her more than the day we were sentenced by the Rabbi.

While we both have changed in many ways, grown at different rates and, sometimes, in different directions, we continue to strengthen our bond and reach toward the dreams that sometimes seem so far but get closer to our grasp every day. We have gotten a lot of opinions over the years with some voices being louder than others. Thankfully, none of them have been from within our own heads… I think. We have found our way, we have discovered what works for us, we know the kind of life we want and this is the kind of life we will live.

If you’re married, I hope you have what we have. If you’re single, good luck because not many people are this lucky.