Another Month Gone, One Month To Go

It is rather astounding to think about how much has changed over the past month. Even with the few challenges that we have encountered with an ear infection, fever, and multiple teeth making their way to the surface, it was a great month that provided us with a number of amazing transformations. Probably the most interesting have been the awareness and cognition that our son seems to have now in comparison to previous months.

When we walk into another room for a minute he understandably gets upset unless we tell him that we will be back in a minute or we keep talking to him while we grab out phone, clothes, computer, etc. When my wife says that Daddy is home, our son looks toward the door and waits to hear it open. Sometimes he will even crawl into the hallway so he can watch daddy walk in. Either way, it is usually accompanied with him waving hi as I walk through the side entrance.

He is also much more mobile now having gone from sliding backward on his belly to crawling circles around his mommy in the playroom and chasing the train as it sings while traversing the playroom. It is a big difference from just a month ago when he took great pride in showing us that he could sit up all by himself. And an even bigger difference from the days when we were waiting to see the first time he would roll over on his own. Things are changing so fast.

Now we are less than a month away from his first birthday. Eleven months and our lives are completely different. I can’t believe it has already almost been a year. Given all that happened that day it will undoubtedly be a day of mixed emotions but, above all else, one of disbelief as neither my wife nor I can get around the fact that a year has already passed since our lives took such a drastic change. And that was just the beginning of a year that was probably the most hectic that any of us has ever experienced.

So many changes and differences but, when we look at our son, when we see the smile on his face and hear the joy in his laugh, it is all put in perspective. He is our miracle and he has been the one to get us through the tough moments. Watching him change and grow keeps us on our toes but also pushed us out of bed in the morning with a wonder of what is he going to do next that can’t really be put into words. It is an amazing feeling and I can’t believe that we have been waking up to that feeling for over eleven months now.

The Hardest Part

There have been many difficult moments during these early days of parenthood with the hardest of which happening today. Last night I couldn’t sleep as I didn’t want today to come. I knew that when I woke up the morning would go too fast and my departure would arrive too soon. This morning I woke up knowing that I would have to leave my family for a few days while I traveled to Chicago for work.

The plane was scheduled to depart just after lunch so we all piled in the car around 9:30 so that there wouldn’t be any timing issues. With my wife behind the wheel I sat beside my son staring at him as the mile markers streamed by the window. It was a ride that seemed to go on forever and one that ended way too soon.

While he usually sleeps whenever he is in the car, this time was different. He kept opening his eyes and looking at me as if to catch one last glimpse before daddy had to leave. Each time this happened was just as hard as the last.

When we arrived I moved slowly to prolong the moment. I kissed my son and kissed my wife. Then I watched them drive away as I made my way to the terminal doors.  

Even with the cluster at the counter when I found out US Airways and American Airlines aren’t talking anymore, the confusion at security where there were no signs directing which line to get in, and the debacle at the gate when seat assignments were handed out to all passengers, I still kept thinking about the looks from my son each time he woke up in the car. It is a look that persisted in my mind throughout the day. Even later in the night during the client meeting and after that sending time with a friend that I haven’t seen in over 3 years, I was still thinking about my wife and my son.

It is interesting to think about the changes that have occurred since the last time that I was on a business trip like this. Last year this whole thing was still new having only been at the company for 6 months, it was just my wife and me, and the whole business travel was something with which I was still unfamiliar. While by no means old hat, it is just a different experience this year. Same company, similar trip, a new son, and reconnecting with an old friend.

Things are different this year. It is going to be a great trip and an excellent event but I know my thoughts will remain with my family. Three nights until I can see my wife and son again. Until then, I have to work and enjoy the pictures that my wife will certainly be sending me. Those are the moments to look forward to each day.

Counting Down After The Alarm

Groggy doesn’t even come close to the way I felt this morning when I collapsed out of bed and staggered to the bathroom for some much needed water. Essentially, within minutes of leaving the warmth of bed I began counting down to the weekend. It is not because of anything had gone wrong during this past week but because there was just a lot happening, a lot to try and get caught up on, and too little sleep.

By the time I got to work this morning I had the opportunity to wake up a bit but not enough. Being tired seems to be the greatest hindrance to productivity. Well, at least for me. The strange part of it is that I am getting, on average, more sleep than I was this time last year but with all the activities and various projects I am drained quite a bit more.

The odd thing now is that it seems as though everyone in the office is on the same page. We all happened to have a bit of a tiring week and a few nights when we all came in with a little less sleep than usual. We recognize this in one another and while there are times when we all just collectively rest and chat for a minute, most of the time we push through it and push one another to get more and more things checked off the list.

By the time we reached the midafternoon I was in auto pilot both in what I was getting done on the computer and in my round trips to the kitchen and my usual coffee routine. I honestly couldn’t tell you how many cups of coffee I went through today but I know it was a lot more than usual. Not a record but above normal.

Even though at any given moment I would have said that the day was dragging, it was surprising how quickly the end of the day came and how unprepared I was for its arrival. With heavy feet and still stiff fingers I did my best to not hold everyone up from getting out of the office but we were all pretty much on the same pace and my labored routine fell right in the middle. We all made it to the end of the day, and the conclusion of the week, a little more tired than usual but with plenty of things accomplished and a weekend to look forward to, a weekend when we need to rest as next week if going to be hectic.

When The Alarm Doesn’t Work…

My schedule on Tuesday was one that no one who values sleep would look forward to. After getting off from my night shift I was going to change and head to the office with the goal of getting there around 10:00 AM. I was going to leave around 2:30 or 3:00 so that I could sleep for a two to three hours before heading off to the lodge for a 7:30 meeting. If I was lucky things would go quickly and I would be able to catch another hour or two before heading back to work at midnight.

Well… that didn’t happen. The day started off in the right way as I got to work about 15 minutes early and starting addressing a few things on my list right away. However, by the end of the morning I was in the midst of pitching and the schedule was looking optimistic to say the least.

Having found a good point to take a breather in the middle of the afternoon I got in the car and headed back to the apartment. Maybe the schedule could be redeemed…. My mind would have none of that. Throughout the drive home I kept thinking about whether I was missing emails and who I needed to follow up with right away.

By the time I got to Bala Cynwyd, I was wide awake so I went into the office, got my computer out, and started sending out and responding to emails. I thought I had only stopped to work for a minute or two but when I glanced at the clock it was already 4:30 and my energy immediately left my body as if carried off by a sudden breeze. It was time to sleep so I set my alarm for seven, got into bed, and said good bye to the world within a minute of my head hitting the pillow.

The next thing I half remember is my wife coming home around eight, saying something about missing lodge, and reaching for my phone which had not moved since I fell asleep. I don’t even remember if I responded. Fortunately, when she reached for the phone she reset my alarm so that I could get up for work in another three hours. I hate missing meetings but sometimes your body simply vetoes your plans and that was the case last night.

It was probably the best thing for me but it still annoys me that I wasn’t able to pull through this week without any alterations to my schedule. At least now it’s a short term problem as my last weekday shift is tonight. Finally, I get to live, work, and feel like a human being again. Something I have been looking forward to for a long time.  

Back To Basics

It had been a long time since I wrote a pitch and dialed reporters and heading into this week my nerves were making themselves known. I don’t know why it is. I guess it is just a simple fact of time off playing with my mind and the trials of the last year swimming in the shallow end of the gray matter.

While it took me a few minutes to collect the words and summarize the press release into the pitch after that it was second nature to me. Some things you just don’t forget how to do. I even felt more comfortable than in previous experiences in just talking to editors and reporters rather than trying to pitch them.

I think that, in the end, the time off was good for me. Time away from the industry spent in various other sales and customer service roles has made me better at what I love to do. Those jobs have enhanced my passion for my career and they have helped me to hone the lesser of my skills to the point that I am able to feel an instant confidence in the office.

I still question things from time to time but that is simply a matter of getting back into a routine and learning a new process of how things are preferred at my new company.  It is much like someone who knows how to write but has to adjust to using AP rather than MLA. You get the gist of it right away but sometimes you find yourself falling into an old pattern.

The main thing however is that I am happy to work on things and adjust my approach. There will always be things that I can improve upon but nothing I can’t work on. In fact, I am looking forward to long days at the office. It is amazing the things that you miss when you have been away for so long.

A week into the new job and despite the transition period I am in at the moment as I finish up my nights at the front desk I am excited to stay up and go to the office. I gladly sacrifice sleep for the feeling of comfort and belonging that I experience doing the work. Speaking of work, it is now time to walk around the corner and knock out another shift. Only four to go but I’m not counting.