Long Awaited Weekend

I have been looking forward to this weekend for several months now. I knew that this past week was going to be a long one and that is was also going to eat into last weekend as well. In addition to counting down the days until my return from the Midwest, I have also been counting down to the end of the week and being able to shut down the computer for a couple of days (at least as it pertains to work). Of course, that was the plan and as has become commonplace lately, the plans don’t really mean anything.

Everything, as it usually does, seemed to converge today with lodge work coming back to the forefront of my mind (with deadlines attached), work projects not moving along quite as fast as I had hoped, and baby becoming rather fussy yesterday which continued through today. However, even with everything going on it has still been nice just to be home and with my family. While there are many things going through my mind that have to get done, being present is what really matters and what brings me back into the moment (even if that moment involves incessant screaming.

While many people I know would look at what needs to be accomplished at work or at the lodge and deem it important it really doesn’t matter all that much when I am looking at my son trying to figure out what to do to calm him down or when I am able to look at him as he smirks in his sleep. Everything else can wait. Right now I just want to be with my son and enjoy every moment that I can so I don’t regret overlooking these simple moments later as he continues to grow.

With that said, these moments late at night while my wife and son are sleeping have also provided a great respite to both get work done that I have pushed back from the daylight hours but also as a time to reflect and appreciate the day that has just passed. Things seem to be changing so fast lately and every moment that I can slow down and look around (Bueller? Bueller?) I have insisted on taking. After all, work will always be there with the same kinds of projects popping up time and again but these moments in life are a onetime deal and I don’t want to miss them.

Overflow

This week was one of constant flow. Not a give and take, there was no ebb present, it was a week of putting my head down and producing. With a heard deadline looming on Sunday, I had no choice but to put the additional hours in at night. Even though I was only at lodge one night this past week, I did not manage to get home before 8 each day of the week. Even tonight.

Just because I was out of the office didn’t mean that the work would stop. In addition to the late nights there were late nights of work which usually left me with about 5 hours of sleep per night. While even during the busy weeks I would have time to crash and recover over the weekend. This was a uniquely overloaded work week that is easily carrying over to the weekend. These tedious tasks will be in addition to the day long travel and training at the annual Secretary Seminar in Elizabethtown (about an hour and a half to two hours away).

You will be reading more about both the Secretary Seminar and the work deadline in future posts. Now, understand, both of these things I have been looking forward to but I would have liked them spread out a little more than they are. The problem is simple in that all the events on my schedule seem to be lumped together. This was not my choice it was just something that seems to be happening as the gravitational pull from these large calendar blocks refuse to fight one another.

These kinds of weeks are not good for me, or for those around me. Not only am I constantly going but I tend to get some serious tunnel vision and anything that breaks that focus is met with some level and form of unpleasantness. I guess you could say that this is where the real similarities present themselves to addition and why they call people workaholics. You get the same type of attitude and reaction when you try and take a drink away from an alcoholic as you do when you break the focus of a workaholic in the middle of a project deadline.

The only thing that has interrupted me from work this week have been meals and other work. For instance, while this blog is written for fun, this week I had to treat it as a job in order to get things done. Sometimes that is the solution to these situations, you have to view things through the work lense, even things that have nothing to do with work like fun projects, meals, relaxation, and sleep have to be treated as necessary to getting the job done. It may not be pleasant, it may not be healthy, but it is something that has to be done on occasion in order to maintain functionality.

It can’t be done all the time but for short stints, like the one that I am currently in the middle of, it works. I may not have been the most pleasant or patient person but it has gotten me to this point which, granted, is still a little behind where I should be but I am much further along than if I treated this week like any of the other 51. However, I am going to have to make up for this in the coming weeks in order to restore some balance. We will see to what extent that actually happens but, for now, back to work.

One Of Those Days

It was a rough Monday. The dragging that I pushed through last week seems to have intensified over the weekend making for a difficult day at the office. I would have called out sick by now but there are simply too many things that need to get done tomorrow. Just because you’re sick or you take the day off doesn’t mean that work stops or deadlines get pushed back. This is an expectation that I have seen too many people have of their jobs, especially the younger/new people starting off. While not the case in every situation, it is slowly becoming more prevalent in the work place.

To be honest, I touched on this in my early years. While there were many days that, in hind sight, I could have pushed through there were also times when even now I might not be able to function properly to do my job. On the other side of the equation, I have seen people and you could say that I am guilty of this now, when people should have taken time off but refused to do so. Sometimes things work out but other times I have seen the detrimental effects that this mentality can cause. While I am not at that point, it is pretty close, and I will have to be careful and toe the line making sure that at the first sight of going over I take the time off and recuperate.

The really interesting thing for me though is when things are going really well, everything else seems to disappear. Pain, problems, illness, and other distractions just fade into the background and all I am focusing on is keeping the good day going. Even during the longest days there seem to be moments when this fluidity is present. However, the most accurate determining factor that I am not doing well, that something may be getting the best of me, is when the flow seems more like molasses than water.

Maybe it is time to slow down, even just for a night or, at most, a day just to catch my breath a little bit. Maybe it is time to do something besides work and make an attempt to relax. Well, who am I kidding, maybe it is time to get some other work done other than the ones that usually fill the daytime hours and occupy my evening thoughts. Sometimes the best means of relaxation is completing a project that has been populating your to do list for months (for some people it can even extend to years). Of course, if that is the case you will be reading about it here. And if I finally have to give in an rest for a day, you will also be reading about that too… or at least the random thoughts that occur when I spend a day off with nothing to do.