What Did They Say?

On my way to work this morning I was listening to one of the local talk radio programs. As has been the case for the last several months, the subject changed to a discussion about Bill Cosby. Inevitably, although in this instance it was a rather unique take, there was a joke made about Pudding Pops. It is one of those things that is both funny and stomach churning at the same time. However, it got me thinking about a few simple phrases that we might say during the day that can be taken in a completely different way depending on the person with whom you are having a conversation.

Talking to someone about how you remember Pudding Pops is one thing, mention Bill Cosby’s name and you just feel dirty. This doesn’t just apply to the recent headlines, in such a politically correct world, an innocent statement can be taken completely out of context. At time, innocuous moments need to be handled with kid gloves simply because someone might be offended even though what is said has nothing to do with race, gender, orientation, etc. The following are three examples of the things that I have heard said at the office.

This time of year it is pretty common for my colleagues to go on vacation. For most this usually means a trip to the beach where they spend at least some of the time laying on the sand and getting a tan. When they return to the office someone inevitably makes the statement “you’re really dark.” This comment makes perfect sense given the context and the person to whom they are speaking. However, for those without a means to censor themselves, this could easily be seen as a comment regarding race.

We have also had a lot of people come to the office lately for interviews. It is a process for sure. We have had a huge variety of people walk through the doors with different experiences and backgrounds. In one instance I recall one of these interviewees make a comment regarding one of my colleagues… they are really short. At this point, the person making the comment had only seen her back. This prompted their immediate ‘oh crap’ face followed by the question, “she’s not Asian, right?” Yep, a comment with little meaning behind it beyond an observation turned into a potential instance of racial profiling in about half a second.   

The last example caught all of us off guard. There is someone we work with called Richard. He is a man that enjoys traveling. There is also a second person we work with by the same name. After a quick call with the one that enjoys traveling about his recent excursions, someone made the comment “That Dick has been all over the place.” It took a second but we all ended up laughing about the double entendre. At the same time, we recalled one of our previous coworkers that would have definitely been offended… good thing she wasn’t there. Generally speaking, I guess it is also a good thing that Bill Cosby’s first name isn’t Richard!

What Was That First Line Again?

So is this okay now?

It has been an interesting week to say the least. Actually, it has been an interesting couple of weeks. I glossed over this topic a little in my post yesterday but let's take the time now to dive a little deeper. 

Yesterday the Supreme Court issued a ruling to legalized same sex marriage throughout the United States.  While I don’t have a particularly strong feeling one way or the other, I was intrigued by the first sentence of the ruling which reads, “The Constitution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a lawful realm, to define and express their identity.” It was interesting because it summed up another debate that has been happening across the United States.

This same line could be applied to those who see the stars and bars as a means of self-expression. While the recent history, and interpretation of history prior to the modern era, of that flag have tainted the original perspective, there are some that still hold onto that symbol not for the suppression that it has come to represent but because of the ideal of state’s rights that it stood for. In that vein, there is no denying that slavery played a role in dividing the nation but rights are what lead the country to war.

We have to remember that at that time most were indifferent to the institution of slavery both in the north and the south. However, when the federal government stripped away the rights of the states, that is what the people in the south rallied around. Hence the terms still used to this day “The War of Northern Aggression” and “The Battle for Southern Independence”. State’s rights is why the stars and bars have remained in South Carolina as the state flag flying above the capital.

But, like many things these days, the flag offends people so it must be hidden away and never spoken of again. Many of those same people proudly displayed a bright flag of their own today to support the rights of people. Again, while I don’t care one way or another, I am sure there are many people that are offended by that display of pride. Where is the outcry to remove those flags? Shouldn’t the same rules apply to all people and to all flags?

What it all comes down to is that you can’t have it both ways. You either support the rights of individuals to express themselves and live the lives they want to lead or you want to strip away the rights from people. Frankly, I would like to be left alone. Let me live my life, express myself openly, and enjoy my rights. The government shouldn’t be telling people or states what to do, who to marry, what we can own, what we can display, what we can and can’t say, and overall how we should live our lives. Enjoy your rights and remember this… just say no to big government!

Firearms Friday: Offended By The Offended

Over the past couple of months we have all heard certain people speaking out of both sides of their butt. A month ago ‘unbiased journalists’ across the country went on the offensive convicting all law enforcement because of the actions of a few. Basically, they viewed all cops as violent racists hell bent on shooting black men whenever they got the opportunity.

Before this recent flurry of reporting (actually it has been pretty consistent since the unwarranted presumptions of guilt in Ferguson) and since then with the most recent tragedy in Charleston, those same people are expanding their world view and now they are seeing all cops and southern white men as racist. This, of course, is in addition to anyone associated with the Republican Party (you know, because they are the old white man’s party). I wonder how long it will take before this thinking trickles down to everyone else. How long before those ‘reporters’ shame themselves for being racists? How long before people declare that because it is called the “White House” that it is a racist?   

Of course, that is not the end of the dichotomy… after all this is Firearms Friday. The other side of this is the fact that those same people who see law enforcement as ‘violent racists’ are the ones that cry “you don’t need guns, that’s why we have the police” whenever some psycho goes on a shooting spree. Can you really have it both ways? Oh wait, that’s right, you can. After all, these are the same people that want free health insurance but get upset when more tax money is taken out of their paycheck to pay for it. They are the same people that want to raise the minimum wage but expect the cost of goods to stay the same.

Since they are the ones crying that they are offended by, well, everything I have this to say... I am offended that you are offended.

I find it offensive that you think you have the right to take my money that I earned and use to support my family in order to fund a healthcare program that has increased both my premium and deductible.

I am offended that you believe someone flipping burgers at McDonald's should make more money per hour than I do working in a salaried job that I had to bust my butt to obtain (you know, the one that technically makes me "middle class").

I am offended that you declare someone a racist or bigot if they do not publicly support your views regardless of what they believe.

I am offended that you refuse to respect the opinions of others while expecting others to respect your opinion.

I am offended that you can’t stand the sight of the stars and bars but support those who burn the stars and stripes in the streets.

I am offended that you refuse to assign responsibility to an individual for their actions but rather place blame on inanimate objects (while twisting the facts).  

I am offended that you grant rights to others but insist on trying to strip away my Second Amendment rights.

I find it offensive that things have gone so far that I am having to write this. But this is where we are. This is what the ‘media’ reports and the line that we are all supposed to fall behind. Just don’t make it a straight line because that is offensive now too.

Face Value

While there are some trying personal situations going on lately, I have been doing my best to stay as objective as possible, offer the few tips that I have to make things a touch easier or prepare those a little better, and, in some instances, just stay the heck out of the way. More often than not it all comes down to the “shut up and listen” mentality. However, there have been a few moments when I have attempted to make things a little easier by letting people know of a few things that they need to keep in mind.

Recently I did just that and, just like in previous instances, it was a complete mess. While I will not get into details or divulge any names, let’s just say that the reaction that I saw made me second guess the motives of some individuals. Furthermore, it confirmed that those people don’t trust me whatsoever and believe that I have an ulterior motive with everything that I say. While that perception is not in line with the reality of my words, the fact that things were so heinously skewed makes me question the motives of the person with whom I spoke.

I take great offense when my offer of assistance, however minor it was in this instance, is viewed in such a manner. And frankly, I am done in trying to help certain individuals. There are other caught in this same situation for which I would do anything I possible can but then there are the others. I wasn’t even expecting acknowledgement of this tip so if nothing were to be said I would continue to offer the little I have from my experiences to assist. However, to be confronted in this way… I am done. Thomas Hardy said it best and for those incurables there is little that can be done to change their prognosis.

So while I am finished with those who revel in the conspiracy of their on minds and searching for a different meaning behind advice that does not exist, I will continue to listen, process, and do my best to relay any helpful information to those that will take it in the way that it is intended… a simple offer to ease the process in any minute way that I can. And with all that is going on we can’t say with any certainty about what is going to happen in the future but some things are coming into focus and we are able to plan for the inevitable. Until then most of the time I will simply shut up and listen and help those who take my offer at face value.