TMI Tuesday: I Don’t Like Working Being Done!

Might have to make one of these given how fascinated he is with the work being done.

Over the last couple of months we have had something going on at the house. From the big projects like the doors, floors, and garage to basic maintenance and inspections to our current air conditioning marathon, there has been a regular flow of people in and out the door. While our son does enjoy watching the work being done and seeing new people every now and again, there are definitely moments when he has simply had enough. And he has no qualms about letting us know when he is done with all the work.

Thankfully, now that the floors are done on the first floor, we are past what we consider the most inconvenient and intrusive part of the renovation process. However, we currently find ourselves in a position where we are having the air conditioning being overhauled on the weekends and while it doesn’t really impact the living area upstairs, it does take me away from my son for a little bit during those precious days away from the office. It really is a give and take at this point but these are things that will pay huge dividends in a myriad of ways in the future.

He does enjoy the opportunity to spend time with family and playing with his cousins. They have been able to keep his mind off of the banging and drilling for the most part and have, in general, kept him occupied during what could be a difficult time of the week. That doesn’t change the fact that he really doesn’t like work being done at the house and there are moments when he stops and clearly babbles his displeasure at the situation.

It makes us wonder how he is going to react to the additional projects that we have planned for the future and whether or not there is enough of a break scheduled in between the phases. Of course, that window could be much smaller should a few things get delayed further but I am trying not to think about that… our luck has to change in that regard, right? I am certain that there will be some sort of voiced frustration but I am not sure to what degree. We will, like many other things, have to wait and see how things play out.

However, with all that being said, our son does seem to like the changes and gives us this look every now and again like “now I see what you were doing, this was definitely worth it”. And it does help that he is able to sleep through a lot of noise and overall commotion. So it may prove to be beneficial when we finally return to what could be considered a “normal” routine. Whenever that is.

What Did They Say?

On my way to work this morning I was listening to one of the local talk radio programs. As has been the case for the last several months, the subject changed to a discussion about Bill Cosby. Inevitably, although in this instance it was a rather unique take, there was a joke made about Pudding Pops. It is one of those things that is both funny and stomach churning at the same time. However, it got me thinking about a few simple phrases that we might say during the day that can be taken in a completely different way depending on the person with whom you are having a conversation.

Talking to someone about how you remember Pudding Pops is one thing, mention Bill Cosby’s name and you just feel dirty. This doesn’t just apply to the recent headlines, in such a politically correct world, an innocent statement can be taken completely out of context. At time, innocuous moments need to be handled with kid gloves simply because someone might be offended even though what is said has nothing to do with race, gender, orientation, etc. The following are three examples of the things that I have heard said at the office.

This time of year it is pretty common for my colleagues to go on vacation. For most this usually means a trip to the beach where they spend at least some of the time laying on the sand and getting a tan. When they return to the office someone inevitably makes the statement “you’re really dark.” This comment makes perfect sense given the context and the person to whom they are speaking. However, for those without a means to censor themselves, this could easily be seen as a comment regarding race.

We have also had a lot of people come to the office lately for interviews. It is a process for sure. We have had a huge variety of people walk through the doors with different experiences and backgrounds. In one instance I recall one of these interviewees make a comment regarding one of my colleagues… they are really short. At this point, the person making the comment had only seen her back. This prompted their immediate ‘oh crap’ face followed by the question, “she’s not Asian, right?” Yep, a comment with little meaning behind it beyond an observation turned into a potential instance of racial profiling in about half a second.   

The last example caught all of us off guard. There is someone we work with called Richard. He is a man that enjoys traveling. There is also a second person we work with by the same name. After a quick call with the one that enjoys traveling about his recent excursions, someone made the comment “That Dick has been all over the place.” It took a second but we all ended up laughing about the double entendre. At the same time, we recalled one of our previous coworkers that would have definitely been offended… good thing she wasn’t there. Generally speaking, I guess it is also a good thing that Bill Cosby’s first name isn’t Richard!

Face Value

While there are some trying personal situations going on lately, I have been doing my best to stay as objective as possible, offer the few tips that I have to make things a touch easier or prepare those a little better, and, in some instances, just stay the heck out of the way. More often than not it all comes down to the “shut up and listen” mentality. However, there have been a few moments when I have attempted to make things a little easier by letting people know of a few things that they need to keep in mind.

Recently I did just that and, just like in previous instances, it was a complete mess. While I will not get into details or divulge any names, let’s just say that the reaction that I saw made me second guess the motives of some individuals. Furthermore, it confirmed that those people don’t trust me whatsoever and believe that I have an ulterior motive with everything that I say. While that perception is not in line with the reality of my words, the fact that things were so heinously skewed makes me question the motives of the person with whom I spoke.

I take great offense when my offer of assistance, however minor it was in this instance, is viewed in such a manner. And frankly, I am done in trying to help certain individuals. There are other caught in this same situation for which I would do anything I possible can but then there are the others. I wasn’t even expecting acknowledgement of this tip so if nothing were to be said I would continue to offer the little I have from my experiences to assist. However, to be confronted in this way… I am done. Thomas Hardy said it best and for those incurables there is little that can be done to change their prognosis.

So while I am finished with those who revel in the conspiracy of their on minds and searching for a different meaning behind advice that does not exist, I will continue to listen, process, and do my best to relay any helpful information to those that will take it in the way that it is intended… a simple offer to ease the process in any minute way that I can. And with all that is going on we can’t say with any certainty about what is going to happen in the future but some things are coming into focus and we are able to plan for the inevitable. Until then most of the time I will simply shut up and listen and help those who take my offer at face value.

This Is Not A Fleetwood Mac Song

If you ask someone if they have ever lied and they say no you know that they are lying. It is one of those things in life that we all do it as one point or another. Some tell little lies (try to get that Fleetwood Mac song out of your head now, I dare you) usually to protect someone else’s feelings while other people tell lies that are so large that they are simply unforgivable. Of course, most of the instances of uncalled BS are in the middle and I can deal with them.

Things seem to have shifted lately as there seems to be piles of bovine feces beginning to pile up all around me. But what smells more is the stench coming from the rotten cores of the people spewing these self-centered and vile piles of steer stew. It is so bad that I have found myself choking and trying to find some fresh air whenever I have been around them. These people lie not only to make themselves look better but make you look worse at the same time… we all know people like that.

But, there is some light in the situation. Some of these people are just having moments when situations are getting to them. These times will pass, things will return to normal, and I should be able to trust them again in the near future. However, there are some people that seem to never change or that have reverted to some old and nasty ways. Even if there is something going on in their life, there is no excuse for those actions. But there is a bright spot to this too because now I know and I can avoid them and, more importantly, protect my child from them in the future.

The most amusing part of this post right now is that I know a handful of people who have already become so offended that they are not even reading these words that I am writing right now. It doesn’t matter if it was meant for them or not, they think it does so they have long since closed out this page and are now steeping in their own little world waiting for the boiling point to come and the hatred to spew from their fingers. Come to think of it, this could be fun seeing how far out of context things have been taken and what drastic assumptions have been make. Things might have just gotten very interesting.

Knowing When Not To 'Help'...

When given the opportunity I try to help people whenever I can. Sometimes it works out, other times I am absolutely no help at all. I really don’t know if this is a good trait or a bad one but it is part of who I am and I do my best to make things better for people in tough situation. However, I will say that sometimes my humor can get in the way at times and so I try to pay particular attention to that and curb those comments to the best of my ability.

In my various roles and duties across the numerous jobs I have and positions I hold, this desire to help has proven to be quite an asset. With that said, I have had to focus hard on my limitations and know when it really isn’t a good idea to interject or assist. I have written about one aspect of those boundaries before when I discussed some of the requests that I have received while at the office. That is just one place, one job, and one small part of this whole equation.

Countless times, especially lately, there have been times where something needed to be done, some assistance needed to be offered, but I was definitely not the one who could help. In some of those cases I just wasn’t equipped to satisfy the needs of the situation while other times the situation was just out of control and there wasn’t really anyone who could change what was going to happen. It is during these humbling times of helplessness that all I could do is hope and pray that everything was going to work out. At most, I could be an attentive ear but no words or actions would offer any solace, it would just be BS.

Those are the times when being a person willing to help is the most difficult. Equally agonizing is when there are challenges that someone you care about is facing and you know that any proactive steps that you may take would only make things worse so all you can do is sit back, grind your teeth and wring your hands. Selfishly, I would much rather be the person facing the challenges so that I could go full bore into the situation and forcibly clear any obstacles, nuisances, and threats that try to get in my way. Patience was never something that I was good at but I guess it is something that I have to embrace at times. So, for now, I am going to complete this rant and shut the heck up.