Son Of A… Beach

Kiss my seagull arse!

Yes, the title of this post has become quite the cliché especially in recent years. However, it seemed to be the most appropriate collection of words to convey some of the experiences from this past weekend at the shore. While I grew up going down to the New Jersey beaches, as I have gotten older they have become less and less appealing. Some people find the sand and salt air in the southern half of this communist state enjoyable and even relaxing but my experience is definitely at the opposite end of the spectrum. Obviously, heading east from my office is not normally a direction I would chose to travel but my wife and I received a generous offer to spend some time near the beach so off I went.

After a long work week I got in the car and headed over the iron river and into the communist state. Almost as soon as I crossed the halfway point over the bridge and into the dark side, the traffic came to a halt. This seems to be a regular occurrence during my rare travels into the restrictive boarders of New Jersey and would prove to be a pattern throughout our brief time east of civilization. Adding to our relaxing travels was the use of the New Jersey turn signal. As many of you know, this can come in two forms either an imaginary notification to drivers behind them or a single blink halfway through the turn. Either way, it is a marvelous way to drive. As the smell of seagull arse grew stronger, I knew that I was getting close to ending the three hour trek down to the beach.

Finally, people started leaving for the day!

With a night of sleep behind us and the morning coming to an end, we walked out to the car and back on the road to visit the places we frequented during our childhoods. While there were a few similarities to the memories that we continue to carry with us, there are also tremendous differences that we immediately noticed. In addition to the obvious overgrowth near my wife’s childhood vacation spot in Cape May, one of the houses I remember fondly in Ocean City was completely gone. It may not be practical but I guess that is one way to get rid of the streaks left by a dog dragging his butt across the carpet.

However, the one thing that each of those towns had in common was the crowds that filled the streets and sidewalks. Even during the peak times of summer, I don’t remember that many people flooding the shore points years ago. And while these were never cheap places to begin with, the few signs that we did see included a noticeable increase from those days past. I know it has been ten or twenty years since I spent any substantial amount of time there but those prices were well beyond normal inflation over time.

However, there are some things that stay the same. Most notably is the inconsiderate atmosphere that still proves pervasive during tourist season. There are too many examples to cite here but I am sure that many of you know what I am talking about… especially those who have spent time at the Jersey shore. Much of this stems from congestion and, given the increased number of people flooding the beaches, it is only going to get worse. Combine that with the entitlement that fills the air and this destinations along the coast are far from relaxing. This is probably why we were more wiped out after a few days at the shore than we were after 10 days and 2500 miles traveling throughout Virginia. I think we will continue sticking with the mountains.

That is so flat it's disturbing!

Too Soon!

As stores moved their Halloween candy and decorations to the clearance section out came the Thanksgiving items to be put on display. But the turkey day decorations are limited in their shelf space as the Christmas stock was already dominating the aisles. With nearly two months to go, the winter holiday was already on full display smacking you in the face the moment you walked through the door.

Over the past couple of weeks the oversaturation has only gotten worse as the music is filling the stores and the slowly trickling into the radio rotation. And this week is seems as though the weather has joined in on the premature celebration with the cold and flurries filling the air. Even as I write this line there is the Hershey kiss red and green holiday bells ringing in the background. All of this is too much and way too early.

Growing up this was a time of year that I looked forward to… it was a something that I waited for with great anticipation and I could count on the decorations and music to change the world around me the week following Thanksgiving. Now it is an entire season, the same length as winter or fall, that overshadows all the other days that make up autumn. For some this is a welcomed change but, for me, it is robbing the appreciation that we once had for the sow decent into the cold weather and the holidays, events, and transitions that I enjoyed years ago.

But I guess this is to be expected during a time when people want everything right now and want it for as long as possible. With instant gratification found in every corner of the internet and easy access through all means of communication, there is no more patience left in everyday life. That is what I think I miss the most, the enjoyment of the day to day. Each day offered a little change during the fall and built up the anticipation to what we knew was to fall upon us at the very beginning of winter.

While my focus has changed as I have gotten older and the holidays which I embrace are completely different, the spirit that fills this time of year seems to be watered down by extending it over such a long period of time. Now, we find Halloween trees on display in early October and a mix of music filling stores in the midst of the fire that fills the autumn landscape. If only we could go back to the slower pace and patience that came with the day to day enjoyment of the season. Maybe we could enjoy the individual holidays rather than suffering from a merry overload by the time December comes around.

I Lied For A Good Reason…

The past couple of weeks have been difficult for me. Not because of anything bad or some of the other things that I have previously written about, it has been difficult because nearly every time I spoke with my sister I had to lie to her. I usually call my sister once a week, sometimes more if there is something going on or being planned, and so I didn’t want to change that routine. However, it was not easy to find things to talk about when I was avoiding talking about any plans for this weekend… I think I even lied to her on her birthday.

From the beginning we knew it would be a challenge but when my brother-in-law said that he wanted to do this we all, without hesitation, agreed that we would do our best to pull it off. Given her long history of finding out any and all plans (or gossip) this was no small talk, especially considering how much my nephew likes to talk. But it was all worth it when we saw her get out of the car today completely surprised, and that is not easy, that we had pulled off a surprise birthday party. Like we would simply let her 40^th birthday come and go without throwing a party.

While for much of my life I didn’t really spend a lot of time talking and really getting to know her, as I have gotten older I have learned how great of a person my sister really is. I admire how much she has accomplished and, in certain instances, overcome. While there were times that I am certain weren’t easy she never gave up and always kept moving forward. At the same time, she was always there if we really needed her for anything. Again, I may have not been aware of it at the time but it is pretty darn clear in hind sight.

And it is great to see her turning 40 at this point in her life as the party itself says a lot not just about my sister but about my brother-in-law as well. The two of them, while it took a while, were made for one another and even though my sister is a pain in his butt back, you can tell that he wouldn’t have it any other way. For how much they both do for everyone else, pulling off this celebration is the least that we could do and I am happy that we could play some, albeit very small, role in pulling it off.

Where Has The Time Gone?

Every year my parents have a holiday party at their house. There are a few relatives that the only time that I see them during the year is at this party so it is a nice opportunity to try and catch up. In previous years there have been dozens of family and friends present filling all the rooms on the first floor and making it a challenge to walk across the house. While a smaller gathering this year due to illness and other life events, it was a great time to sit, talk, catch up, and eat.

Like every year, the kids took over the basement and provided some entertainment throughout the evening as we all participated in the usual game of dodge door. Every twenty minutes or so we could hear the low rumble of little feet stomping up the carpeted stairs. A few seconds later the knob would jiggle and turn and the door would come flying open. For the most part, everyone knows that you either don’t stand there or you keep your ears open to the stampede.

I was once one of those kids running up the stairs but as is clear when thinking about years past, things have changed and we have all gotten older. Many family members are no longer with us but this party proves to be the perfect time to think back to the happy, and sometimes funny, moments that we were able to enjoy with them. Even just seeing a large group of people in a room and recalling the lineup on the couch holding court in the family room. Sometimes it is as simple as recalling an image.

By the end of the evening, the cooler was much lighter, the tables were a little thinner, and the desert table looked like a bomb went off leaving cake bits and cookie crumbs strewn about. While some were still standing and a few of us sitting wherever we felt like no longer standing, all of us were quite full and not really wanting to move too much (although there were a few people making some determined trips to the dessert table). This is the time of evening when everyone realizes that it might be best if they start heading out the door and make their way home.

It is also a constant surprise as to how quickly time goes by at these parties. You sit down and start talking and before you know it half the people have left and it’s time to go home. This is always an interesting shuffle at the end of the evening as no matter how good you think your plan is when you arrive, it is inevitable that you are going to have to wait for someone to move their car before you will be able to leave. A good time was had by all and I am already looking forward to next year.