Friday, December 25, 2015

Reindeer Down!


The Christmas decorations around town are quite festive and are pretty understated compared to those that I am used to encountering around the Main Line. And while there are houses here and there that have light displays a few bulbs shy of Clark Griswold, there actually isn’t much in the way of individual decorations up and down the streets. It seems as though we all agree that being out here, away from the densely populated areas, the night provides more of a light show than anyone could ever string along their eaves.

We are also in an area where people are incredibly kind and welcoming in the course of our weekly encounters. We have rarely come across someone who wasn’t pleasant and, more often than not, there have been kind words and wishes shared and reciprocated. However, given the occasional sounds in the distance and across the street, Rudolph might want to consider investing in some Kevlar. Who knows, someone around here might hold him personally responsible for Grandma’s death.

I can see it now. After their usual tales from NORAD telling watchers and listeners that Santa was crossing the Atlantic on his way to the East Coast, millions of children lay their heads town struggling to fall asleep. Then, all of the sudden…

from down in the den there arose such a clatter
that they sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
but a special report saying there’s nothing to fear.

As the reports pour in the news conveyed by the third string anchormen seemed grim…

they showed little emotion and went straight to their work,
the search teams were deployed and the kids when berserk.
And laying the report just off the screen,
they echoed the outcome which lead to a scream.

They cut to the authorities at the scene of the crash,
who didn’t hold back not fearing the backlash.
And they heard them proclaim at they signed off from the sight,
Rudolph was dead and Santa was grounded for the night.

As it turns out, as was reported the following day,
Rudolph isn’t bullet proof and pulled down the sleigh.
A 12 gauge took him out and with dead weight dragging them down,
the other reindeer couldn’t support Santa and they crashed in a small town.

The fire took Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen
but only singed Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen.
The presents were gone and Santa was pissed
because all that was left was a double checked list.