Monday, October 21, 2013

Bad Tired vs Good Tired

Does Marty experience good tired or bad tired?

There are two kinds of tired in this world – the bad kind and the good kind. We all go back and forth between the two and try to find a balance between the waking hours and the unconscious void. But we have to go into this equation with the acknowledgement that we all have a balance that is unique to each and every one of us. Some only need five hours to be fully functional; a few people need small spurts of sleep; while many require something closer to ten hours a night to perform during the work day.

I have met all kinds of people who require all kinds of sleep and I have lived through different periods where I have had to accommodate various balances. And now I find myself trying to recalibrate the scales so as to get the most out of life without slowly burning myself out as the week progresses. It is a challenge to say the least but one that has brought up another factor in my search for equilibrium.

When I was working the night shift (and at times working two jobs) there were many days that I didn’t get enough sleep which left me sluggish and forgetful during the hours when my eyes were open. However, the days that I was getting enough dreaming hours I still woke up feeling as if I had just closed my eyes. This, I have found, is the definition of bad tired. It is a feeling of never being able to adequately catch up on something we all too often take for granted. It is the feeling of having to push yourself just to function during the day (or night); it is the drain of not looking forward to getting out of bed to put in another eight hours on your time card.

Even now, as I write this blog, I still find myself tired and there are a few things that I just haven’t had the energy to put into as I did before but now it is a good tired. I end my day feeling as if I accomplished something. Some days I feel as if I haven’t gotten enough done but there is still a sense of satisfaction in the effort put forth during the waking hours. While it is still difficult to rise in the morning (I have never been an early morning person), I look forward to the day, getting in the car, and going to work. I feel a renewed sense of purpose and a desire to keep pushing forward.

Now is a very good time and while I am looking forward to finishing up this post and going to bed I am also looking forward to the morning. It’s a very simple thing but it’s something that has been missing for a long time and I have learned to appreciate it unlike I have ever done before. Every day is a gift and I am enjoying the good tired that comes with it.