Between Blog Posts: Part 3

Over the past month I have been able to find a few second and even a few minutes here and there that have allowed me to let my mind meander about and pull together different images and glimpses into the lives of fictional characters. Even while trying to catch up on the blog, there were still a few much needed moments when I needed to take a momentarily creative leave from reality. It is still unclear as to what will be done with all of these little pieces and whether they tie together somehow or if they are completely separate stories. So, following my notes from New Jersey Transit uncovered in the beginning of August, part 1 recorded in the middle of the month, and part 2 published a couple of weeks ago, I bring you another installment in this sporadic series.

6AM

The neighborhood kids called him Mr. Brown but he had many different monikers throughout his life. Whenever they would call his name in the morning he would turn his head and give him them a slight smile. No one said anything else to him. They let him be and simply watched in silence as he went about his morning routine.

He peered out the window each morning at 6am looking up at the sky. When the sun shone on the horizon he would put on his slippers, a coat when the weather turned bitter, and opened the front door with a slow and deliberate precision that baffled those watching.

His purposeful steps didn’t take him far. They carried him to the corner of his walkway and into a gravel bed surrounding his flag pole. Her he would take the flag tucked under his arm, unfold it, and raise the stars and stripes in a way that is familiar to few but respected by all who witness the ceremony.

Every morning he would pause at half-mast with a kind sadness in his eyes that revealed much more about his routine. In a moment of stillness he seemed to mutter almost apologetically before hoisting the flag to the top of the pole. Securing the rope with a figure eight and solitary knot, he would then turn and return to the front door stiffly closing it behind him as if trying to keep out the memories.

When the sky prepares to succumb to the night everyone watches as he emerges from behind his seclusion almost with a sense of relief that the evening will soon descend and another day will end in silence. He returns the flag to the earth folding into a precise triangle, tucked it under his arm, and carried it with reverence back into his home.

As the amber deepens into red and before the purple hue of dusk, a small glimmer of yellow can be seen waiving lightly from the trunk of his oak tree seemingly giving farewell. The same bitter parting he was offered when his son was deployed.

And now the tattered ribbon tethers the memories of a neighborhood as they all remember the jovial laugh that would fill the small street every time Mr. Brown came home from work. A laugh that only lives in distance echoes. But now there is only night. Now there is only silence. For one more day.

Between Blog Posts: Part 2

Earlier in the month I shared some story notes that I uncovered during a bout of digital archaeology and last week I posted another piece that I jotted down between a couple of blog posts and projects. Well, it happened again. While doing some work and personal research this past week, a small light began flickering in my mind like a projector and played a small scene for me. All that was shone is what is recorded below. This, like the other ideas recorded on this blog, might be interesting to pursue when I have a little more time to commit to this type of writing. But, for now, here is what was played for me…

5AM

Jim was never a morning person and never pretended to be one unless he was applying for a job. This was the conflict that stirred in his mind as the alarm echoed off the empty apartment walls.

He kicked the soiled sheets to the other side of the bed and placed his hand in the cold empty hollow in the mattress next to him. It almost didn’t feel like it was worth it to try and get up but he could stand the thought of lying there alone.

As he staggered to his feet the faux floor whined between his toes. In the bathroom he plunged his worn face in the stagnant sink filled with the same water that had been lingering for days.

The spotted mirror told him all he needed to know reflecting his shadow riddled eyes buried behind his beard.

He rustled through his clothes looking for something that could pass as presentable, something that may have appeared on a store shelf in the last twenty years.

Cleaned and dressed to the standard that had haunted him for the past three years, he opened his bedroom door and walked down the short moonlit hallway to the stack of disposable bowls awaiting him in the kitchen. Like the hundreds of days before, he opened the only stocked cabinet, pulled out a box, and watched the sweet processed puffs as they piled into the paper vessel.

Some people take great care with their diet, Jim was not one of those people.

By the time the sun had begun to inch over the horizon, he was already walking deliberately down the stairs, step by step, counting each one as if the total would be different than all the other days.

The orange and red of the sky surprised him and a smile nearly curled the corners of his mouth when it was quickly slapped from his face by the noise of the city. His simple routine had taken him nearly two hours and now the remaining minutes of the early morning were few and precious.

While little had changed that morning maybe the day would be different. Maybe this would be the day when the burdens of the past would be lifted. Maybe the events of the day would allow him to forget. Maybe this job would be different than the last one, and the one before that, and the one before that, and the one before that…

Between Blog Posts: Part 1

Recently, while going from one topic to the next whether that be at work or while writing about different topics for the blog I find my mind wandering a little bit into the other side of my brain. It’s almost as if it fell off that fine line that I am constantly walking between the two hemispheres and all of the sudden the ideas for stories begin flowing through my fingers. They are only glimpses but, like the rough ideas that I shared before which I uncovered in my computer, I wanted to share them here. After all, you never know what I might do with them…

4AM

Ben had been up all night with the only light shining on the dark country road being the one piercing through his kitchen window. The highway asphalt in the distance had been quite for hours and the autumnal wind carried with it the scent of the approaching season. His work was done, for now, but his labor was just beginning.

The hinges screamed as he pulled the front door toward him. A sound that had become all too familiar in recent weeks. But in that moment, in the darkness of morning, he was the only one who could hear the house shrieking.

His legs were heavy from the rigor of the night and while a fog filled his eyes his mind continued to meander through memories. It took an unexpected effort to traverse the walkway but he endured the haunting thoughts and failing limbs finally slumping over on the rusted trunk of his car. 

He swung open his creaking door and collapsed into the tattered driver’s seat. Turning the key he hoped that the engine would start just one more time. He had a lot of things to do that day but his only desire was to stay home. As the exhaust plumed in the rear view mirror he swallowed the last remanence of cold coffee, rubbed his eyes with his red hands, and slowly skidded down the leaf strewn driveway.

The winding road coddled his eyes while the pings of loose pavement kept his lids from closing. It wasn’t long before he could see the lights from the gas station emerge from the crest of the hill, people walking back to their cars with steaming cups, and the traffic light blinking yellow and red like a beacon on a desolate shore.

As he turned the corner he could hear a rumble cascading across the road. By the time he turned his head the truck had already breached the passenger door. His body was thrown across the intersection until finally resting face down in front of the weathered array of lingering campaign signs.

When the police arrived, they found nothing to identify him, a car which had disintegrated into an unrecognizable heap of scrap, and a heart that had long since stopped pumping. The only thing that they knew about him is what witnesses heard him gargle from between the blades of grass…    

“It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me.”

Mortgage Monday: Water, Garage Doors, And Security

Last week I spent some time working from home but, just like the days that I decide to “take off”, it was for the simple reason that there was work that needed to be done at the house. Actually, I wasn’t doing any of the work, I was there so that could answer any questions that may come about from the minor projects around the house. Namely, over the two days at the end of the week we had Martin complete an inspection of our filtration system, Shank install the garage doors, and ADT check a few of the sensors that we have had to adjust lately.

Surprisingly, all of these appointments went about as smooth as possible beginning with the garage doors on Thursday. The old doors were exactly that and with the one destroying itself a few months ago, it was something that needed to be done this summer. Now seeing the new doors in place, the features that Shank includes, and hearing how quiet the new motors are, we are really glad that we made room in the budget to get this done. Of course, it helps that the person installing them really knew what they were doing and had the full swap out (doors, motors, tracks, sensors, etc.) done faster than I was expecting.

Friday morning the door bell chimed at about a quarter to eight in the morning. While I am all for being on time or even early to appointments, it isn’t as pleasant when ADT has already screwed up the scheduling (I made the appointment for and confirmed it with customer service at the time for the 12-5 window). This on top of the fact that the technician expects our full attention as we are in the middle of our son’s morning routine. Just one of many issued that we have had with that company so far. After a few unexpected (and without warning) triggers of the alarm and a few moments of puzzled contemplation regarding the use of adhesive, the work was completed and the rest of the morning could begin.

Martin Water was the third and final appointment of the week and as they were the ones who maintained this system previously, it was a pretty straightforward process. And it was great that they took the time to go through the steps that I need to follow to properly maintain the system. I was shown once before when we bought the house exactly what needed to be done but I can’t say that a whole lot of information was retained that chaotic week.

So, it may not be a big dent in our overall plans for the week but we were able to at least get things started while making sure a couple of the other things in the house don’t become future projects. And while ADT may be lacking at times the important thing is that the security system and monitoring are still solid. As for Shank Doors and Martin Water, don’t hesitate for a second if you are in need of their services… their prices and the quality of their work is exceptional. That is all… for now.

3rd Blog Anniversary

It has been three years since I made the decision to start blogging again. At the time it was a means to keep my mind busy while working the night shift and, honestly, I didn’t expect it to last too long especially after I started working during the day again. Over the years there have been many moments when I have fallen behind, when I have questioned whether or not I wanted to keep posting, and if this was all worth the time and effort. Those doubts have surfaced more times than anyone realizes.

However, what was once a means to keep my mind active and prevent creative constipation is now much more than those basic founding reasons for keeping this blog going day after day. I have spoken on the importance of keeping a daily record of my life, no matter how mundane it may be, but there is also the simple fact that this has given me, for the most part, a routine amidst the sporadic chaos, a means to think through certain topics and situations, and, occasionally, a venue where I can vent both and share the good and the bad. While there have been moments that I have bit my tongue before writing (despite one of the main ‘rules’ that I set for myself in the beginning), this has been largely a free flow of topics and ideas.

Over the life of this blog, things have also evolved. What was once a free form venue with few rules, has morphed into a loose structure where there are certain topic for different days. This schedule has reinforced the original purpose of the blog in that not only am I forcing myself to write every day but I am pushing myself to consider specific topics every week. As has been evident, some weeks there is more fodder for a certain topic than others but, in general, it has pushed me to learn different things about topics which I am already interested in as well as give more thought to some of the routine events in my life. As a bonus, it has also given readers more guidance as there are some people who avoid certain days while other that only read about a topic or two that I cover.

At this point, I don’t see much changing in the coming year on this blog. While I am not in a position to guarantee anything, I plan on maintaining the daily pace, sticking to the 400 word minimum per post, and continuing to write about the weekly topics that many of you have come to expect. Beyond that everything is still up in the air. So, at this point I will finish this post with a simple thank you to all that have stopped by, those who read regularly, the people who leave comments (here, on social media, through email, and in person), and the people in my life who both inspire me to keep writing and tolerate the commitment that I continue to make to my writing.

Year Two Comes To An End

It was a surprisingly quick meeting this week and before I knew it my second year had come to an end. We were able to complete all of the final items as well as welcome the new officers who will be filling the chairs in the coming year. It was a night of short speeches and streamlined processes but all were given both the time and attention that they required and the respect that each brother deserved. It was a great night that focused on the great work that has yet to be done, the accomplishments that we have achieved, and the distance that our lodge has come over the past several years. It was a night that primed us all for a great year to come.

While much of the time I was either fulfilling my duties sitting at the desk or presenting at the podium, there were also other moments during the night when I was able to witness the brotherhood and commitment that we all have to one another from what I consider to be the best seat in the lodge. As I was anticipating, I watched my fellow brothers take their oaths of office and commit themselves to their fraternal family. These were men that were here before I was raised as well as one that I have known since the first time he joined us for dinner.

Each time I kept thinking back to the moment I took my oath in front of my brothers and with my uncle also in attendance. I was proud then and I am proud now having been reelected twice. This is hugely important to me as I am constantly cognizant of the small role I have in the history of this lodge and the masonic legacy that I am continuing to build upon in my family and leaving for my son. I am only the most recent mason on both sides of my family and I am going to go everything to ensure that I leave it better than when I first was raised.

It may have been just another meeting for some but it was obviously much more to me than just a meeting… the same could be said for many of the monthly meetings. This lodge, this fraternity is part of who I am, part of my legacy, and part of my family history. Of course, this is all still the beginning of what I hope to be a long masonic career. I am still a few months short of my third masonic birthday and there are still a lot of things that I hope to accomplish in the years to come. However, right now I continue to proudly serve my brothers as Secretary and I will do my best to earn this honor each and every day that I continue to serve.

We Are Getting There!

Well, we are almost there anyway. Tomorrow’s post will be the 900^th on this blog but, given the fact that it will fall on Veterans Day, today we will take a moment to look back on the journey and take stock of all that has happened since I started this growing collection of research, reflections, observations, and gripes. The only issue is that many of the posts, the past two and a half years, are all blurring together. There have been so many ups and downs, so many places and events, too many words to remember many of the specifics that I have covered over the days, weeks, months, and years.

I guess it would be best to look at what this blog has become. What was started as something to simply keep my mind occupied and my fingers moving, this site is now a place where I am able to collect my thoughts, decompress, gain perspective, and sometimes vent about what happened during the day or during the past week. Honestly, when I put the first word to paper I didn’t think much of the longevity of the blog (definitely not thinking it would last this long especially given the daily regularity).

Now I look at the time when I sit down to write, whether at the office or at home, as a way of relaxing regardless of the topic on which I may be focusing. Even the most animated posts have become something that has calmed me as I am forced to focus and put things in some semblance of an order. And, thankfully, since that first introduction in 2013, I have taken the time to set some stricter guidelines and carve out particular days of the week to cover certain topics. Usually today would be about my son but sometimes it is also good to break away from the rigidity.  

Now that I have gotten to this point I am even more determined to keep pushing each and every day. After all, reaching quadruple digits would be something rather astounding to me. And I know that many of you will be coming along for this push to 1000 as the monthly views show me that many of you are interested in one way or another for one reason or another. But for these next 100 I would prefer not having the spotlight to myself. I would like to read your words and share your stories on this blog (you will receive credit of course). Thank you all for the support during the FIRST 900… now let’s work together, share the spotlight, and knock out these next 100 together. Who knows, maybe I will have to do something special for number 1000.

Resting Before The Labor

This day is one that is interesting to think about as our families were built by men (and women) for whom this day was originally conceived to honor. While some things have changed for a few of us in recent generations affording us the ability to work at a desk throughout the day, there are many, past and present, who make their living in various trades. However, for all of us the day has taken on a lesser role in our lives as the primary means of celebration is that of having the long weekend to enjoy as we please. For us, this is a perfect time to get together with family.

This day is also the unofficial end to the summer which brings hope of cooler weather, convoys of school busses, and the promise of a blazing landscape. The seasons will soon begin to change and talk of the holidays will soon be heard on the radio and seen on the television and in store displays. The day marks a time of annual change beyond the original parameters of the Labor Day holiday as is outlined on the US Department of Labor website:

“The form that the observance and celebration of Labor Day should take was outlined in the first proposal of the holiday — a street parade to exhibit to the public "the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations" of the community, followed by a festival for the recreation and amusement of the workers and their families. This became the pattern for the celebrations of Labor Day. Speeches by prominent men and women were introduced later, as more emphasis was placed upon the economic and civic significance of the holiday.”

While I don’t recall having seen such a format in my life, the means by which we currently celebrate the day seems apropos… we mark the day by not working. However, the irony of it all is that many of the professions and professionals for whom this day was designed to celebrate, find themselves at work. Such is the effect that retail has had on the calendar and the lives of some in this country. A sale is a powerful draw and bringing that business in is what keeps people working. Some might call this a vicious cycle. Of course, I say this knowing that I am not one to turn down a deal and I too have taken advantage of the “Labor Day Sales” that are becoming more and more plentiful as the years pass.  

The seasonal change is certainly upon us and all the sights, smells, and sounds are beginning to permeate the air. It is a time of annual transition which is certainly something that we are anticipating as our plans continue to develop over the next few months. A day off of labor to prepare us for the work that needs to be done for the remainder of the year. That pretty much sums it up for me.

50K And 67

There have been many milestones since I started this blog. Many of them I had preconceived notions from the very beginning as to when they would occur. I was completely wrong regarding this latest one as I originally thought that it would happen sometime during the fourth year of writing. This was later revised to a timeline slightly more optimistic than reality but it really was slight. Basically it breaks down to the originally projection of about one thousand views per month later revised to over two thousand.

Well, just over two years since the first words were posted, I hit the 50,000 views mark. While a big number (at least for me) when you first look at it, it is even bigger when you think about it. This blog has been viewed 50,000 times which breaks down to roughly 67 views per day. Obviously some posts have been more popular than others and some days have been more active than the rest. That is the ebb and flow of writing in general and blogging in particular.

Think about that for a second. On average, there were 67 clicks specifically with the intention of reading the content that I have posted. Given the lack of interesting content that has been produced overall, this just goes to show that really anyone can do this. With that said, I appreciate each person and each click that has been made since this blog was launched. It was never my intent to gain a large readership but it is certainly nice to see people enjoying what I am writing (or getting pissed off by it).

The sheer volume is still completely foreign to me. I have written for a variety of companies and executives over the years where these numbers are pretty insignificant but having something with my name on it being read to such an extent is kind of astounding. Of course, this is coming from someone who started off in the poetry market where exposure and popularity are tremendously small in comparison to other genres. Having this many people read my work now would have been unthinkable in those days a decade ago.

The trick now is trying to find the balance between past and present, quality and quantity, honest and opinion, originality and reporting. It is a completely different way of writing these days and something that I am still getting used to. I treat this as a journal but have to maintain some kind of coherence in the posts. It is a balance of writing and of time. It is work and play.

So, thank you again for all your support but don’t just sit back and read. I encourage you to do the same, write about what you want to record about your life. Put yourself out there. Enjoy the process and the sharing of ideas. And, of course, let me know if there is anything that you would like me to write about and I will do my best to accommodate.

Coming Home

When we were given the option of leaving on Wednesday or Thursday we did take a few moments to think about it. However, being confined to our hospital room since we arrived, it really wasn’t a hard decision to make even with the linger fears of heading out on our own. So once the doctor came in for our morning visit, we let her know that we were ready to go and that we would be out and on the road by midafternoon.

The first part of the prep was making sure that the car seat was secured in the back of the car. I vaguely recall having done this in the past when my niece still used one (she’s 20 now) but that little piece of knowledge has long since shaken out of my head. It’s not a difficult process by any means but when you are trying to make sure that your child is safe every parent, no matter how laid back, gets incredibly OCD about these kinds of things.

We got the room backed up, secured our surprisingly quiet son in his car seat, and called for an escort to help us get down to the lobby and out front to our car which I had pulled up earlier. It was a surreal feeling knowing that we came to the hospital just a few days ago still as a married couple and now we were leaving as a family of three. We were about to enter the real world covered in a fresh coating of snow and a bitterly cold wind barreling down the street.

With all three of us secured in our seats and the pile of stuff crammed in the trunk, I slowly pulled around to the stop sign and started our drive home. I can’t recall any other point in my life being so careful and deliberate behind the wheel… not even during my driving test. Needless to say, with a new baby and my wife still recovering from major surgery, it took a little longer than expected to get to the house but we made it there safe and sound.

Walk in the door we knew things were completely different and that coming home meant so much more now than it did in the past. We were home and ready to start living our life as a family. However, starting off, just like with the car, I am sure that we are going to have plenty of OCD and overprotective moments. Such is the beginning of parenthood.

First Full Day Of Fall

It never got too hot this year and so the transition was not as noticeable as it has been in the past but today was the first full day of my favorite season. The weather is getting cooler (comfortable for me) and the leaves are slowly catching fire as the air becomes lighter and crisper as the pages of the calendar float into the past. It is a time of year when people seem to try and embrace the last semblance of warmth before shutting out the world hibernating in the warmth of their homes.

There is an openness to the fall that is more welcoming than the other seasons of the year when we tend to embrace the opportunities to be out and spend time with the people close to us. One would think that this is a characteristic of spring or summer but during those times we tend to want to get away leaving behind our homes and apartments. Those are the seasons of exploration, fall is the season to embrace what we have and enjoy the place where we live.

I have always enjoyed the fall as a time to begin a new year. I guess it was from all the years spent in school when I was able to start things all over again. Of course, as I have gotten older this seems to be right around the time of year when I would start a new job… at east all the ones where I have spent a reasonable amount of time. Now, it is time when the lull of summer comes to an end and the PR programs ramp up again in the final quarter of the year. Work is not the only place where the activity picks up as we are also back to our usual routine at the lodge as we work toward completing another successful year.

So, while some may look at spring in the same way, I see autumn as a time for new beginnings. At the same time, it is the season when we are all brought back together. It is a time of great comfort and a lot of activity. It is a busy season but also one that allows me to relax in the fact that I am never without something to do, somewhere to go, and people to be with. Fall is, by far, my favorite time of year for precisely those reasons.

Well Hello Career, How Have You Been?

I’ve had an old Aerosmith song running in a loop in my head all day. “I’m back in the saddle again…” In case you haven’t heard, I accepted a position at a PR firm yesterday and today was my first day in the office. It was an amazing feeling returning to the profession which I love. Needless to say, it was a great day!

I can’t remember the last time that I looked forward to going to the office and working. Despite a lack of sleep from the day and night before, I was wide awake driving down the highway this morning and had to restrain my foot from pressing too hard on the accelerator. I couldn’t get to my new job fast enough.

I have had an inkling of this feeling in the past few years but never a fully fueled nervous excitement as I experienced today. Previously, that small kernel of an emotion was quashed as soon as I walked through the doors and was cast as an outsider. Today I was welcomed warmly and immediately felt like I was part of the team… like, as the cliché states, we had all known one another for years.

I quickly settled into my office and at my desk and within the first few moments came to the realization of how much I missed the industry. I always knew it was something I wanted to come back to but I really didn’t know how much I missed it. Learning, strategizing (not strategery), and corporate writing are all things that have been missing from my daily life for too long.

Of course, there was also a sense of relief as I was sitting in the car during the morning commute. Not only was I getting my career back in gear but I was once again joining the workforce of the waking hours. Knowing that the hours of darkness would soon come to an end lifted a great weight off my mind, my eyelids, and my marriage. Finally, we could see daylight at the end of the tunnel.

So what does this mean for this blog? Hopefully it doesn’t mean a thing. This is my free writing (mentally, creatively, and financially) and I will continue to write and post on a daily basis. The timing may vary (like it hasn’t already) but I will put forth the effort to keep things going. So, stay tuned, there should be some interesting posts getting put up in the near future. Actually, interesting for some and probably annoying for others. 

Oh, and if you know of any technology centric companies looking for PR have them reach out to me (come on, you can’t blame me for trying).

Coffee Is My Friend

This is the 50^th blog that I have posted since beginning this stream of rambling in May. It’s the golden anniversary. Of course the only thing golden on this blog is when I piss people off.

So far, I have already been asked numerous times about how I am able to post every day and the answer is very simple… I am full of crap and I’m willing to share it with everyone what cares to have a sniff. This isn’t a government health care bill, this blog is very simple. I’m just recording what rattles around in my head before it has a chance to escape.

This blog is my everyday life, the boring and the interesting (at least to me), the random thoughts, the observations of things happening around me. Fueled by coffee (lots and lots of coffee) and a time card, I have been writing posts in the middle of the night while all sane people are asleep. Sometimes I get a random thought or two and it makes its way to my fingers while other times I can look at a blank page off and on for hours.

All it takes is some determination and a commitment to write no matter how many or how few read a post. For me, if I try to write for a specific audience nothing happens but if I just write and let life dictate the prose I don’t have a problem. As I like to say, it’s fine to have your head in your rear as long as it’s out of the way of your writing. Basically, apply the same rules that a politician applies when speaking to a large crowd.

But, overall, have fun. Entertain yourself and everything else will fall into place. Bring some balance to your day by blogging.