Sunday Search: The Events Of Each Generation

When researching the lives of my ancestors I am always cognizant of the larger events happening in the world around them. Additionally, I constantly think about the way of life and what would have been part of their daily consciousness during that period of time. Sometimes I am able to find direct connections to those events or ways of life like military service, prohibition, or the expansion and prevalence of the railroad industry.

However, it is important to remember (and sometimes I have to remind myself), that the stories are there we just have to allow our ancestors to tell them. We can't expect to find anything or wish to find a connection to a person or event. We must look at their lives as we do our own and cherish facts (good and bad) like memories. In my opinion, this is a critical in understanding your ancestors and the lives that they lived.

It is this same thought process that is important for us to remember in our own lives as well. While there are many people who have a direct connection to 9/11, there are even more of us that have been impacted by this tragedy in one way or another. Our lives are different because of it and, in many instances, the courses of our lives have been altered by it. Some more so than others.  

This, unfortunately, is an event that has shaped our time similar to how the various events in history have shaped the lives of our ancestors. Not only does this remain a vivid memory but the time in which we live has allowed us to experience it as it happened, in real time, and also relive the horrors of that September morning. This is both good and bad for obvious reasons.

We had instant access to information and readily available (to a certain extent) communication with loved ones. This wasn’t always the case and it actually makes me wonder if previous generations were better off simply not knowing until long after the fact. But, we can’t change the time in which we live, and, similarly, we can ascribe modern technology and thought process to previous generations… a common mistake that I see much too often.

This is life and the world in which we live. While we may not always like it, we have to accept it. And the same can be said for our ancestors. We may not always agree with the common practices or mentalities of the time but those are the realities of the world for that generation. It is difficult at times, but we have to remove ourselves, and our modern perspective, from the lives of our ancestors and let them tell us the stories about their lives.  

TMI Tuesday: Leaving Something Behind

Random photo found online of the old school method.

This past weekend with all the stories that we were told about my wife’s family it made me appreciate a couple of things. The first is that my wife and I have done a lot of research about our families and now know more than we ever did growing up. In fact, it is safe to say, that we have more information, stories, and documents now than at any other point in recent generations. Second, I am so glad that I have so much that I have written down about the lives of my family and my own life as well. All of this will be passed down and, hopefully, our son will carry that knowledge with him and pass it down as well.

While there have been time when I have fallen behind on this blog (like now), today marks the 1200^th consecutive daily post that I have written and posted. This is by far my longest writing project and, honestly, there is no end in sight at this point. There are certain to be slow times again in the future and periods when it is difficult to record my thoughts but they will get out and they will be recorded in these posts.

Life has changed drastically since I made the decision to blog again and while there have certainly been challenges along the way, life keeps getting better (and busier) with each passing post. Looking back there are a lot of things that I would probably change but, at the same time, there are many stories, essays, and rants that I am glad that I took the time to record. After all, those are the posts and opinions, when taken together, that will reveal who I am to my son.

However, there are definitely some things that I still have to work on as many of the things written have been rather pointed, some are poorly written, and others just don’t make any darn sense in one way or another. Of course, this is in addition to the fact that there is a slight (and sometimes not so slight) egocentricity that can be found in a few pieces here and there. Hey, I never said I was perfect and, to a certain extent, I am glad that these flaws are present in my writing.

In the end, this is who I am, what I do, and what I leave behind. Like it or not, take it or leave it, clichéd and creative. If this is the only thing that I am able to leave behind I am okay with that. And, just think, this is only the beginning.  

Planning The Fall Schedule

Somehow the summer has already disappeared and we find ourselves on the brink of autumn. Now that September has started it is time to take a look at the fall schedule and, hopefully, make sense of the chaos that is my calendar. It is a process that has become increasingly important over the past few years but most especially the last couple of years. After all, I need to make sure that the balance remains in the small blocks that rigidly grid the paper.

While there are always a few things that I know fill some week nights, there is a surprising amount of other plans and activities that we already have in place. Actually, our plans begin right away with the schedule full until early next week. When I finally took a look this morning (and again this evening) at all of the items that needed to be included and scheduled, I was surprised to find such a long list. It is almost as if these events had been horded for the first eight months and now I am finally able to sort through them.

In addition to the usual lodge commitments and holidays, there are a few new things that have been added this year. First and foremost are the various Sons of the American Revolution meetings and events. This is followed by the various house projects that will be taking place over the next couple or few months. Finally, there are numerous family events that we are planning to attend which have to be included in our seasonal plans. These will certainly be welcomed respites from the chaos that is our calendar.

This is the plan that we have in place heading into the new season but we also begin this new month knowing that things will most definitely change. Some plans will stick, some will move. Some of the changes will be our choice while other alterations to the schedule will be completely out of our control. All we can really do is plan and hope for the best.

There have already been so many plans made and so many changes take place in our schedule this year that it would be nice to return to some regularity but it really isn’t expected at this point. However, there are a few events, a few brief windows in the schedule, that should hold and, thankfully, those are the things of which we are most looking forward. As for everything else, we will just have to wait and see and hope that the only thing that changes is the season.

Mortgage Monday: HVAC Overhaul

Well, we are halfway there. While the work weeks were once filled with ongoing renovations, now the weekends are taking the brunt of the workload. Thankfully, as of this past weekend, half of the HVAC overhaul has been completed with the first floor now able to better maintain the temperature that we set on the thermostat. The old unit is still running (surprisingly) but is now only trying to cool the second floor. Now we only have to hope that it lasts until the rest of the work is done.

In total, the boiler and oil tank have been removed, half of the baseboard units have been pulled out, and the propane tank, hot water heater, and complete AC system on the first floor have been installed. It is already a lot of work and we are only at the midpoint of this renovation phase. While it is difficult to go from the work week to the house work on the weekends, we are already enjoying the benefits of what has been completed.

It really is surprising how much of a different some of these things can make regarding the simple enjoyment of our home. And, lately, with how up and down the weather has been it is nice to have some regularity regarding the internal temperature of the house. We knew that the old system was undersized and ineffective but we didn’t really full grasp how bad it was until we got the new system up and running.

The next steps will involve attacking the second floor and completely taking the old unit offline. The weather actually looks like it is going to cooperate this coming weekend but, of course, our schedule is not so forgiving and we will be out of town for much of the long weekend. Thankfully, we have someone whom we can trust doing this work and we also know the quality of work that is being done which will allow us to not have to think about the house while we are away… more on the trip over the weekend.

For now, we are going to enjoy all the upgrades and improvements that we have decided to have done to the house and we are going to brace for the next part of the process which will descend upon us next month. While there should be little overlap between this current project and the next, there is likely to be a short period of time when there will be work going on seven days a week. Thankfully, it two completely different parts of the house. Should be fun!

A Welcomed Weekend

While we have a busy schedule this weekend we still have an opportunity to catch up on a few things. When we originally moved into our house we were able to get a pretty good handle on a few things but there have been a few places around our house that have been in need of our attention. The largest and most time consuming of which has been the organization and reorganization of our offices… they always seem to be the first things that are pushed down the list when something comes up.

Things have been so busy this summer that there hasn’t been much time on the weekends to spend as a family let alone get the things we want to get done around the house. While we don’t have the large blocks of time, I can see a few opportunities to tackle some of the disorganization that can be found around us. Now that things have been moved out of my wife’s office from the chaos of renovations last month and there is an extra bookcase in my office, there is an outside chance that we will be able to make some progress.

But even if that time evaporates and we find ourselves in the same situation come Monday morning, I am okay with that so long as we are able to spend the little free time that we have with our son. It is a new give and take that we continue to embrace, and sometimes fight, every weekend. There are moments when we wish we could have some space, have a break, just a little time to ourselves but there are also the moments when we could spend all day just watching our son in amazement occasionally looking at one another in disbelief that he is our little boy.

Just that simple fact makes me forget about all the things that need to be done. But we still need to make the time to take care of the house because when we aren’t overcome by the adorableness, we keep thinking about that list that does seem to want to go away. This weekend we hope to make those down moments a little easier and our list a little shorter. After all, like many things you just can’t put them off forever. Eventually that list needs to be taken care of so when we do have those moments to ourselves, we can enjoy the quiet and relaxation that those moments provide.

Mortgage Monday: Timing

It seems like a constant dilemma that we are facing week after week, project after project. The simple, yet complicated, question that continues to arise is whether we push some of the renovations back into the spring or just get them done now? As I have disclosed previously, it is a really long list of things that we are planning on having done at the house and the constant routine that we find ourselves in is less than ideal. I guess a better question is how much more of this can we handle?

While a postponement would bring us some quiet time heading into the fall and some greater flexibility in our schedule, it would also leave us with a few things that while not essential, are either an eye sore or simply aren’t conducive to us fully enjoying our home. It would also leave a few things ‘half done’ at this point which is less than an ideal situation we would find ourselves living in. But it would be quiet and that is something that can’t easily be overlooked.

However, there are a few larger projects that simply make sense to get done now. We already started the transformation so why would we stop in the middle right now and keep us from seeing our plans for our home from coming to fruition. Yes, it will be noisy, inconvenient (most likely less so than the first round), and put a decent dent in our bank account but we would have nearly everything done. And with these things off the list we wouldn’t spend the cold months cooped up in the house staring at the things that we wish we had changed.

It is a matter of deciding whether we want to relax a little now or relax and breathe easier later? Do we want the inconvenience now or later? And, most importantly, how soon do we want to complete the transformation from our house to our home? This doesn’t mean that we have to check everything off of our list but knocking out a good portion of it would go a long way and allow us to push back a few of the other, “less important”, projects.

Either way, it is safe to say that we are all looking forward to the day when we can consider everything done. And while I can’t wait for that time to come, I am also a realist and know that there will probably be an entirely new list that has been drafted in the interim and I am not completely sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing at this point. What I am enjoying is the fact that no matter when we do all of these things, we will be improving our home and we will be able to enjoy them for many years. So, here is to the future!

Summer Preparations

Every once in a while there is an event that comes up during an unexpected time. While there are the unfortunately common times when a masonic funeral service must be arranged within a few days, there are also other, much more pleasant, events for which we must prepare. There have been way too many of the former but, thankfully, I have been able to focus on the latter this week as I did my best to assist with a district picnic scheduled for this weekend.

The casual family gathering was announced in June and we started the many conversations about some of the details that needed to be addressed by the announced date in August but it had been at least a month since any formative conversations had been started regarding the planning. That was until this week when I received a reminder about one of the things with which I was hoping to assist. Actually, the more accurate term would be coordinate.

While it was a bit of a rush to get everything ordered and confirmed, the t-shirts are currently in process and will be ready by the end of the week. Usually I am a little hesitant to make such a claim on a rush order but I know that my cousin will get it done, will get it done right, and will give us a tremendous price at the same time. After all, he has never faltered in the past and I have many brothers and clients that can attest to that fact as well.

Of course, trying to coordinate my own schedule is a completely different matter altogether. I continue to look forward to these kinds of events when I can bring my family and enjoy the time we all spend together. At the same time, there is little flexibility in our calendar and there have been numerous changes as of late that have put many commitments into question. I guess it may be time to pull out the gauge and, once again, measure my days.

It will certainly be interesting as the fall descends upon us and the calendar, once again, begins to fill with various commitments whether they be personal, family, work, lodge, or a myriad of other things. But, for now, it is time to continue preparing for what is my busy season but also my time to enjoy the constant rhythm of work flowing from the office to the lodge to home and beyond. It may be a little odd but keeping busy as the weather slowly cools is what relaxes me.

TMI Tuesday: No More Highchair!

For well over a year our son has been using a highchair at home and at restaurants for all of his meals and snacks. Wheeling the cumbersome contraption had become part of our daily routine at home but one thing that we had been noticing whenever we would go out to eat lately was that our son really enjoyed being at the table rather than eating off a tray. We put off looking for a home alternative for some time but it finally got to the point that it was time to switch him over to a booster seat.

So, with a few ideas in mind as to what we were looking for, all three of us headed over to the local Walmart and made the trek to the back of the store where all the baby and toddler equipment lined the shelves. Once my wife and I found a few options we turned to our son, who was not annoyed and fascinated at the process, and let him pick out his new chair. Surprisingly, he was pretty concise in his selection process almost immediately pointing to the one he wanted and watch me as I put it in the cart behind him.

Within the week, we had switched him over at home, without the tray of course, so now he sits at the table with mommy and daddy proudly feeding himself as he enjoys the additional freedom that his new chair has to offer. And, of course, since then we have picked up place mats and other toddler accouterments which he seems to be enjoying as well. However, we still ask for a highchair whenever we go out to dinner as the boosters are a little too precarious for our squirming toddler and we don’t want to have to pick him up off the floor along with his crayons.

He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the different seating arrangements as he is simply enjoying being at the table. For me and my wife, it is just amazing how quickly time is going by and how many changes keep happening. He is becoming a little more independent with each change that we make with this being only the most recent. But, the most important thing is that he remains a happy and energetic toddler that enjoys reading and playing with mommy and daddy. So, for now it is time to wave bye bye to the highchair as we take it upstairs and put it into our storage area.   

Prime Day Done Right

Last year most viewed Amazon Prime Day as nothing more than a ploy as the online retailer didn’t really offer up any of the amazing deals that everyone was expecting. While I didn’t have as strong a response last year, there was clearly room for improvement as I only found a few items that were of interest with most of those small purchases being for my son. When all was said and done, the real deals were on items that only a few people were looking to purchase while the rest of us not finding any discounts beyond that which we have been seeing for years in the daily deals. This was the expectation that many of us had when Amazon announced that they would, once again, have an Amazon Prime Day on July 12^th.

This was probably why it wasn’t until later in the morning when I decided to log into my account and see if there was anything that piqued my interest. Scrolling through the pages upon pages of discounted products I did find a couple that I considered purchasing and subsequently added them to my cart. However, none of those things I would qualify as anything that I needed to purchase so I decided to take a closer look at some of the things that my wife and I had been looking to purchase that were, at the time, saved in my cart for future consideration.

It was in these items, varied as they may be, that I noticed the huge difference between the flop last year and the vastly improved experience this time around. While I couldn’t find anything that was singled out as a deal, I did find that most of the products and items in my cart were part of a larger category or collection of items that were being offered at 10, 20, and 30 percent off. This is the kind of sale that many of us were looking for last year and were now ready to take advantage of this summer.

And this didn’t just apply to the new items. I also noticed that many categories in the “Amazon Warehouse” carried with them the same discount. The compounded savings on a few items finally pushed me to purchase some of the things that I had been thinking about for some time and now, at nearly 70 and 80 percent off, it was definitely the time to buy.

It may not have seemed likely but Amazon did actually learn something from the tepid response that they received the first time around and now, it is safe to say, most of us are looking forward to how they will improve the experience in the years to come. Of course, those beyond the 1 hour delivery areas are just waiting for our packages to arrive. And some of us are just letting them take their time so that we can further our frugality just a little bit more with the digital credits we are earning because we are willing to wait. Safe to say that next week should be an interesting UPS experience.

Mortgage Monday: Revising The Project List

My wife and I have continuously kept an informal project list of things that we would like to have done at the house. As I have written about before, some things are more pressing than others with the majority of these tasks being things that we want to do rather than things that need to be done. However, in the end, they are all projects that will transform this already wonderful home into a perfect one.  

Of course, we have to work within our budget so some things have been shifted around according to our finances. This has also impacted the overall timeline of the work we would like to get done at the house. That being said, as we have priced out some of the items on our list there have also been things shifted up or down accordingly. Lately, those prices that we have seen have allowed us to move things up in our timeline.

To review, here are the things that we have known for some time and which we had planned to address over the next few years:

• Installing office door
• Flooring (hardwood or laminate?)
• Minor electrical work (fixing existing issues)
• HVAC overhaul
• Replacing boiler with hot water tank
• Installing steel duct work
• Installing two HVAC units
• Installing underground tank for gas
• Side Deck
• Front Porch
• Repair / replace retaining wall
• Tree removal
• Installing chimney cap
• Repointing masonry
• Garage Door replacement
• Re-grading around the house

That was the basic list that we came up with shortly after we moved in and it remained relatively unchanged for a few months. Over time, we added a few more items:

Interior painting

• Replacing kitchen and bathroom hardware
• Replacing appliances starting with the washer and dryer
• Converting fireplace to gas
• Expanding bonus room upstairs and finishing

Now, the list has grown to include a few new items and some clarifications on the aforementioned ones as well. With the existing things that we knew from the beginning, previous additions, and a batch of new items, this new roster of projects now consists of the following:

• Installing French doors to my office
• Installing hardwood floors throughout
• Minor electrical work (fixing existing issues)
• HVAC overhaul
• Replacing boiler with hot water tank
• Installing steel duct work
• Installing two HVAC units
• Installing underground tank for gas
• Converting fireplace to gas
• Install gas or solar generator
• Installing composite side deck and front porch
• Repair / replace retaining wall
• Tree removal around property
• Installing chimney cap
• Re-pointing the patio
• Garage Door replacement
• Re-grading around the house
• Interior painting
• Replacing kitchen and bathroom hardware
• Replacing appliances starting with the washer and dryer
• Redirecting dryer vent
• Replacing refrigerator
• Expanding bonus room upstairs and finishing
• Replacing front, side, and patio doors
• Lighting fixtures in all bedrooms
• Replacing toilets
• Resealing basement walls
• Re-configuring landscaping (removal of flower beds)
• Replacing / adding outdoor lighting
• Replacing doors to garage with fire rated doors
• Replacing gutter guards
• Replacing blinds
• Installing new window treatments
• Replacing windows

What started as a relatively small collection of projects has grown rapidly into a long list of things that we would like to have done to the house. And while there are many more project than before, we are still hoping to get the majority of these things completed by the end of next summer. Some things will be quick while others will take weeks and some are things that we will get done eventually like replacing the windows. So, beginning this summer, things are going to be quite busy around the house but, slowly and while sticking to a specific budget, we will transform our home into one that we have only dreamed about in the past.   

TMI Tuesday: Napping Away From Home

Definitely not as comfortable as the crib but it works!

It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone when I saw that when our son was first born he would sleep just about anywhere. It didn’t matter if we were home, in the car, or, as was the case last summer, in a hotel room. It was one of the luxuries that, unfortunately, my wife and I didn’t fully appreciate at the time. As he has gotten older and more aware of the world around him things have definitely changed and it isn’t so easy to put him down for a nap as it once was. Heck, even when he is exhausted at night he would still much rather be picking blueberries than sleeping. Don’t worry, we learned our lesson (a refresher really) during that trip.

His considerable preference for his own bed is both understandable and frustrating at the same time as his nap is in the middle of the day which means we usually have to plan our activities accordingly. There have been time when we have taken the risk and had him sleep in the car but this has only barely been working as of late. With so many things planned throughout the summer we knew that we were going to have to get him used to sleeping somewhere else besides his crib.

We didn’t have much planned this past weekend beyond the usual house and yard work that needed to get done, so we coordinated with my parents to head over to their house for the day. This was a long overdue visit as we couldn’t recall the last time that we went to visit them. After going back and forth about when we should leave we finally determined that this was as good a time as any to try and have him nap somewhere else so we packed the car and made our way across the counties.

Shortly after we arrived and fed him some lunch we could see that our son was ready for some quite time. As he rubbed his eyes and explored nearly every cabinet in my parents’ kitchen, the pack n play was set up and situated in the living room just inside the front door. Surprisingly, he didn’t fuss when we put him down and before we knew it the kicking and babbling stopped as he fell into a deep and lasting sleep. About an hour and a half later and we were relieved that he was finally able to settle and sleep somewhere else besides his own bed at home.

Thankfully, our experiment bodes well for both future trips to see his grandparents as well as the various travels that we have scheduled over the next few months. We might actually be able to relax during our escapes and show our son even more of the scenery and places around the towns in which we will be staying. Next test will be determining the length of time that he can put up with being in his car seat… I don’t think he will tolerate the seven hour drives like last year. Hopefully it will work if we build those distances over the summer but we will have to wait and find out. But at least he can sleep when we get there.

TMI Tuesday: Follow Me Daddy!

Ever since our son learned how to put one hand in front of the other he has greeted me at the door every night when I get home from work. Sometimes he even makes his way into the kitchen if I have only been gone for a few minutes or a couple hours. Recently things have changed and he no longer crawls into the kitchen when he hears the door open. Instead, he gets up on his feet and walks as fast as he can across the house until he is standing at my feet and looking up at me with those eyes that let him get away with just about anything.

It has been a quick progression from those slow almost methodical movements as he navigated through the chaos of his playroom and around the corners. From there he progressed to cruising the furniture until his sight caught up with the sound of daddy and he would drop to all fours and scurry across the floor. Now he is about a half step from running into my arms as soon as I turn around. Fortunately, he has learned over the past several months to give daddy a minute so that I can put my bag down and wash my hands before I pick him up and play with him.

It is both rewarding and a little scary to see how fast he is growing by all that melts away when I see him smiling up at me and when he reaches for my hand wanting to walk with me back to the play room. However, even that new routine isn’t so new anymore. What has also changed this week is the fact that he no longer needs to take my hand… he doesn’t need the extra security to walk from one place in the house to another. He would much rather have me follow him when I get home or, as is the case in the morning, have me follow him to the kitchen table.

Things are changing so fast and I always worry if I am missing too much being away from home so much during the day and sometimes at night. I guess our son isn’t the only one experiencing a little separation anxiety at this point in his development. But this is also why I try to make every moment count and why I will gladly follow my son when I get home each and every day that I possibly can and make sure that we share as many of these moments as possible. After all, this is a time we can never get back so we have to embrace it and enjoy each and every moment. And, most importantly, while he may not take it all the time, we must always have our hand out to support him.

Two Years Makes A Huge Difference

My wife and I have been to Jim Thorpe several times in the past. Usually driving up for the day just to walk around the sleepy town near the entrance to the Pocono Mountains. We have always enjoyed our trips up there and we have been planning to return with our son at some point. This weekend we finally took the time and made the plans to travel into the mountains as a family.

Unfortunately, as is the case with many things in life, reality didn’t live up to the memories. That being said, the town itself has changed rather significantly since our last excursion two years ago and, for us, it has definitely not changed for the better. It all began as soon as we approached the valley and we could see the mass of cars and people filling the streets, sidewalks, and parks. It was rather odd seeing the main line atmosphere so far from Philadelphia but that is exactly how the trip unfolded over our two day stay.

While there were a few brief glimpses of what it used to be like in the muted stir of the evening, it seems as though this town is no longer the forgotten destination that it once was and the makeover that it has received recently demonstrates that the town is definitely well aware of its new windfall. But, they are certainly honing in on a certain type of visitor to the town as many of the new shops are more akin to what you would find in the small towns around San Francisco. There are certain demographics that certainly find this appealing but don’t count me as one of them.

Of courses, there were a few aspects to the short trip that didn’t really sit well with me either. In addition to the sheer number of people that had flooded the valley, the attitudes and mentalities of those people was something that I would prefer not to encounter especially when trying to get away and relax. And it seems to have had an impact on the great people that live and work in those small shops along Broadway and Race Street.

In previous trips, the people have always been one of the best parts about the town. Great scenery and great people… that is really what we look for when trying to find a place where we can relax. Now, in this little town, the drastic shift has seemly changed some people, broken others, and driven the rest out of town. The small family shops are nearly gone. The library is half the size that it used to be. Those remaining have a different way about them and a completely different attitude… no more friendly and casual conversations. And there are clearly people who have already gone or are moving because the sale signs are plentiful.

Maybe this is a brief phase for the town and things will change back in the near future. Maybe our perspectives were off those days. Maybe, but it doesn’t look like we will be have any time in the near future as there are so few opportunities to get away and we are not going to risk completely wasting one on a return trip... that is the feeling that we got this time around. I guess some things are best left as memories.

Business Trip Recovery

One of the most difficult aspects of a business trip is the recovery afterward. Not only is it the work projects that, for the most part, were put on hold during my time out of the office but, more importantly, it is about making up the time with family and returning to our usual routine. No matter what I have tried it has yet to be made any easier.

What didn’t help this time around was the fact that I few down to Atlanta over the weekend not feeling well and after a few days of early mornings and late nights, I was really feeling like ‘crap on toast’ upon my return. Further complicating the matter was the fact that I had a lodge meeting on the schedule for the evening following my return and there was no possibility of staying home from work that day either. And because that wasn’t enough, both my wife and son were fighting off something.

Just one of these things would have kinked the works enough to make the simple task of getting work done even more difficult but having everything descend upon me all at one time has made the day less than fun. Makes me wish that I had caught up on everything else, the multitude of open projects, prior to my departure. I guess this is just one of those instances when you just put your head down and work until you can’t work anymore.

It really is astounding how much things have changed over the last few years. Walking out the door has become harder and harder with every tear and disappointed look on my son’s face and knowing that there is the possibility that I might miss something while I am gone is nearly an unbearable feeling to hold in throughout the day. And while I know that I am forgiven soon after returning home, the sadness that I have caused during the week is something that I wish I could take back.

Thankfully, this last trip concludes the bulk of my business travel for the year with only a few quick day trips that could pop up during the remainder of the year. I am hoping that my son will better understand the situation next year and that I might be able to have my family join me in the future. It would further complicate the travel but a complication that I welcome.

Mortgage Monday: Interesting Questions

No matter where, when, or at what price you purchase a house you will always have questions about your new home. Some are as simple as where things are located in the house while you still get used to your new surroundings. Other times you are curious as to the best routes and best places to shop around your new location. These are just a natural part of the process no matter who you are, where you live, or how much research you did before you bought your property. For some that remain local or knew the former owners they are quickly answered while for most of us it is just a process that takes time.

However, there are a few other questions that I find floating around in my mind that I have also asked a few people from time to time. They are actually more prevalent than I thought even for those who believe that they have the perfect home. It also proves that there is more to a home than the place or the structure. Here are the questions that most people admit to having had fun with in the past:

• Would you still chose to live in the same place where you currently live? If no, where would you look? Yes. We really enjoy the town, the privacy, and the space. 
• Would you build your house the same way that you bought it? No. There are certain things that we want to change and add. Nothing needs to be changed. All minor things that are easily adjusted. Also, there are some aspects of our home that, at the time of purchase, we didn’t realize we wanted.
• Would you live in the same place and/or buy the same house if you had unlimited funds at the time of purchase? Yes and no. Great value in our home but we might have made some modifications immediately after purchase.
• I guess the same thing applies to those that had their house built… would you build it the same way now that you have lived in it? N/A
• What would you change (what would you have changed at the time) if you had unlimited funds? N/A
• Change or rebuild? N/A

I am sure that many of you were thinking about your own responses as you read through the questions above. And for those with whom I have spoken that consider the place they live to be their home, there is nothing in their responses that have led then to regret their previous decision. The certainty waivers a bit when people consider the place they live to be their house. For me, this has actually been an interesting exercise that has proven our decision to be correct time and again… we found the perfect home for us even with its imperfections.

Mortgage Monday: Four Categories

I might have to call these guys!

While there is nothing wrong with our home there is always a list running in my head about different projects that we will be undertaking in the near future. Mind you, not everything falls into the project category but the list is definitely growing. Simply put, when looking around the house, there are generally four categories that everything falls into:

• Fine as it is
• Repairs /adjustments (possible replacements) needed
• There has got to be a better alternative
• Something is missing

The basic structure, kitchen, landscaping, and many other things fall into the first category. There really is nothing wrong with any of them. Nothing came up during the inspections and nothing has manifested since then. We like the layout of the house and so far it has been working for us. In fact, many of these aspects, especially the kitchen, are better than we were hoping to find when we first started our search so there aren’t any projects to speak of for these and many other things.

The second category comprises many of the things that most homeowners opt to replace, upgrade, or eliminate all together soon after buying their home which includes paint / wall coverings, flooring, kitchen and bathroom hardware, and other things that are more about personal taste than functionality. Not everything is optional as we also need to increase insulation in some areas, reseal the basement, clean up some minor electrical, cap the chimneys, repoint some of the masonry, and replace the retaining wall along the driveway. Of course, there are also things that we chose to replace as the current systems, appliances, etc. still work but are past their prime. For us this includes the washer/dryer, refrigerator, garage doors and openers, and AC unit. They all still work but it might be best to replace them now and avoid the immediacy of having to replace them quickly when they stop working.

The third category is something that we have been thinking about a lot lately, especially during the really cold nights, and we are considering overhauling the whole heating system for the house. Right now the boiler that supplies the baseboard heat his rather loud and, given how much we are spending on oil, not very efficient. Note that the same boiler is on year round as it also provides our hot water.

Basically, we are already looking at replacing the 10+ year old and undersized AC unit so we might as well get everything done at the same time and put a full HVAC system in. This would also allow us to pull out all the baseboard heating which are son is a little too fascinated with and which limits the wall space in our home. Of course, if we pull all of them out we might as well replace flooring and redo the walls at the same time as we don’t want to have to patch everything and then work on it later. Lastly, we are not going to keep the boiler just to supply the hot water so we will have to install a new instant hot water system while we are at it. As you can see, this third category tends to trickle down.

Finally, the fourth category is really about the things that we want but don’t need. A front porch would be nice to have (and a walk way across the front of the house) as would converting the fireplace to gas. We would also like to finish off one of the rooms and possibly the basement at some point in the future. However, we have plenty of space now so I don’t really see that happening any time soon. Again, this category is basically the splurge column. None of these things are needed but they would be nice to have an undoubtedly enjoyed.

That is the basic rundown that we have been going through recently as we continue to adjust to our new life in our new home. Some are items that we should check off our list this spring or summer while other projects can be held off for future years as we have the time, patience, and finances to tackle each of them. Again, we are already starting with a great home but this is the natural progression of things… every home owner goes through the same thing even those that build their ‘perfect’ dream home. And, sadly, I know that these lists will never disappear they will simply morph over the years to include other items and projects.

One Day Makes A Difference

Even as I type these words and watch them appear on the screen I still can’t believe that it has already been a year since we met our son for the first time. Our lives changed in an instant and I can still remember the feeling of shock that originally hit me when my wife’s water broke. While I was able to pull myself together, collect most of our things, and drive us down the snow dusted highway to the hospital, that daze didn’t really lift until hours later when our son grabbed my finger for comfort as the nurse cleaned him off.

There are moments from that day, and from the week for that matter, that remain a little hazy having melded together in a jumbled memory but there are also moments, good and bad, that remain clear as if they only happened an hour or two ago. That is what makes this passage of time so unbelievable. And while there have been trying moments to be sure during this first year of parenthood, I wouldn’t never want to go back to the way things used to be. Being a father, sometimes even a good father, is what I enjoy most each and every day.

It has been an interesting year full of first experiences, difficult moments, and challenging situations. It has been a calendar full of change but one that has brought us to a great place in our lives. There have been the funny moments of dodging poo and casting wee rainbows, nurturing times when our son got sick or was overwhelmed during his growth spurts, and adorable moments when he would smile, laugh, or nuzzle in our arms. And the daily joy beaming from his face, some days it is more prevalent than others, is enough to make even the most difficult days disappear.

Of course, we also find ourselves in the unique position of celebrating and mourning at the same time. While our son’s birth and my mother-in-law’s passing technically happened on the same day, this is one of the times that I insist on going by the Hebrew calendar. By doing so our son's birthday, the 26th of Sh'vat, 5775, is separated from the date on which my mother-in-law passed away, 27th of Sh'vat, 5775. Having that single day of separation makes a huge difference at times. It is interesting how faith can be comfort in the most obscure ways in addition to the guidance that it provides during times of struggle.

However, while there are no trips to grandma’s house that our son will remember about growing up, he still knows his grandma and recognizes her in pictures. It hasn’t been easy but there is a bond between the two of them that we both wanted for our children long before our baby became a reality. We didn’t plan on it happening this way but the important thing is that they are connected, our son knows his grandma, and his laugh when he sees her picture eases just a little bit of the pain from that day.

And this is just one of the many ways that our son continues to change how we look at life and the world. At times he has been our sole reason for happiness but mostly he has provided us with the love that permeates every moment of life and makes us remember that the love is what we always need to remember. Whether someone is here or not, the love remains. As I have said before, I will forever be thankful for that gift which our son has given us.

It is a complicated day, couple of days actually, but one that comes down to the most simple of statements… Happy 1^st Birthday my adorable baby boy! Mommy and daddy love you!

Sunday Search: Restarting Our Tradition

Our newsletter will look nothing like this!

Years ago my wife and I would pull together a holiday newsletter recapping the previous year which was always well received by family and friends especially those that we hadn’t seen in a while. This was in lieu of a card and was usually mailed sometime between Hanukkah and Christmas each year. The last time that we pulled one of these together was in December of 2012… it has been some time since we took part in this tradition and we are determined this year to once again send out a family newsletter albeit a little later than in the past.

When we decided that we were going to restart this tradition the question that we had to answer was whether we would return to the format that we used before or would we take the opportunity to pack in three years of updates into a single, long, mailer. There certainly wasn’t a shortage of content from the previous twelve months and most people to whom we would be sending the newsletter read this blog on a regular basis. However, even given those two things we decided to go ahead and offer quick updates in a variety of categories encompassing the past three years but focusing primarily on this past year.

We had actually planned on getting this out last month but time has not been kind to us over the past several weeks which has left this project on the back burner. To be honest, this is primarily my fault as much of the content I will be pulling from and condensing from this blog. My wife has already created the template and written the sections that would simply be inappropriate for me to write so now the onus is completely on me. Thankfully, we have both been able to update our address books so that part is taken care of as well.

I know that many of you are looking at this as yet another project on the inexhaustible list of items but this is an important part of our own tradition and what we want to have marking each year as a family. Plus, for me it is the summary that everyone seems to ask for understandably not wanting to sift through the hundreds of posts from the previous year. This is our opportunity to look back on, reflect, and report to those we care about what life has been like for us the previous year. And, down the road, in addition to being a simple addition to the family history files, it will be a great reminder for us all of the things that we both enjoyed and survived in 2015.

Another Month Gone, One Month To Go

It is rather astounding to think about how much has changed over the past month. Even with the few challenges that we have encountered with an ear infection, fever, and multiple teeth making their way to the surface, it was a great month that provided us with a number of amazing transformations. Probably the most interesting have been the awareness and cognition that our son seems to have now in comparison to previous months.

When we walk into another room for a minute he understandably gets upset unless we tell him that we will be back in a minute or we keep talking to him while we grab out phone, clothes, computer, etc. When my wife says that Daddy is home, our son looks toward the door and waits to hear it open. Sometimes he will even crawl into the hallway so he can watch daddy walk in. Either way, it is usually accompanied with him waving hi as I walk through the side entrance.

He is also much more mobile now having gone from sliding backward on his belly to crawling circles around his mommy in the playroom and chasing the train as it sings while traversing the playroom. It is a big difference from just a month ago when he took great pride in showing us that he could sit up all by himself. And an even bigger difference from the days when we were waiting to see the first time he would roll over on his own. Things are changing so fast.

Now we are less than a month away from his first birthday. Eleven months and our lives are completely different. I can’t believe it has already almost been a year. Given all that happened that day it will undoubtedly be a day of mixed emotions but, above all else, one of disbelief as neither my wife nor I can get around the fact that a year has already passed since our lives took such a drastic change. And that was just the beginning of a year that was probably the most hectic that any of us has ever experienced.

So many changes and differences but, when we look at our son, when we see the smile on his face and hear the joy in his laugh, it is all put in perspective. He is our miracle and he has been the one to get us through the tough moments. Watching him change and grow keeps us on our toes but also pushed us out of bed in the morning with a wonder of what is he going to do next that can’t really be put into words. It is an amazing feeling and I can’t believe that we have been waking up to that feeling for over eleven months now.

TMI Tuesday: Crawling

It wasn’t long ago when our son figured out how to sit up by himself from his stomach. It was one of those things that my wife and I caught him doing on the camera and soon thereafter he would sit up when he felt like it or, on occasion, when daddy asked him to do it. Heck, that is how I was able to see him do it and the smile that he gave me afterward is something I won’t forget. Since then I have been able to ask our son to sit up before picking him up. He’s actually pretty good about following directions when he wants to be cooperative.

It seems like just a short time ago when we were enjoying those moments which were soon followed by scooching across the floor and sitting up and lunging in a different direction to get what he wanted. That turned into a quasi-Army crawl which then became a half crawl with primarily propelled him backward. He has moved well past all of those stages and now the forward momentum is taking over. We are in trouble.

It started with a couple steps forward followed thereafter by three or four shuffles back. As the counterproductive kinks got worked out he began moving a little further each time. The toys on the other side of the room weren’t so far away after all. Once he could clear the room without stopping he started picking up the pace. This was particularly noticeable when he started catching the battery operated train and cars that he once just looked at as they rolled by.

Now there is a little more purpose with his crawling as he knows to move toward the hallway so he can see daddy walk through the side door when he gets home. He can also crawl to a toy, almost like he is stalking it at times, and reach up with one hand and grab it while still supporting himself. From there he reverts back to an old trick and sits up so he can play with his prey.

I guess this means it is time to really start thinking about the different safety locks and baby gates because he seems determined to move around the house by himself. It is that time already. I don’t know how we got this this point so fast but it is time to evaluate and see what needs to be done so we don’t hear cabinets slamming on fingers and our son sliding back down the stairs like dirty laundry on a wash board. Time for some DIY.